The Student Room Group

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Reply 1
erm.......NO?!

You dont love him, you're just horny.
Reply 2
Don't go. Get some control and self esteem back!
Reply 3
ive been single for 5 yrs i cant find a bloke who wants me i dont wanna be alone any more
Reply 4
random_dude_66
ive been single for 5 yrs i cant find a bloke who wants me i dont wanna be alone any more


FFS! You're 17! Chill out and don;t sleep with scummy low-life losers!
leona

You dont love him, you're just horny.


I don't think you can make that judgement on her. It sounds more like the opposite situation.
However for him, he's just horny.

Unfortunately random dude I can understand why you will be tempted to keep going round to give him what he wants in the vain hope that something more will develop, but if you are honest with yourself can you really imagine a strong and meaningful relationship developing from someone who saw you as a sex object.
Reply 6
you're 17! 5 years ago you were TWELVE! (yes, someone got a B in GCSE maths) Surely you're not on your own? You must have friends and family, who don't use you?
Reply 7
MagicNMedicine
I don't think you can make that judgement on her. It sounds more like the opposite situation.
However for him, he's just horny.

Unfortunately random dude I can understand why you will be tempted to keep going round to give him what he wants in the vain hope that something more will develop, but if you are honest with yourself can you really imagine a strong and meaningful relationship developing from someone who saw you as a sex object.


you are the only person who i have spoken to who understands and sees it from me. that exaclty what iw ant to happen but it isnt is it? my life just feels empty
Reply 8
tthanks for ur advice we both still wanna stay friends so ill fone him and say we can met but just as freinds hang out but nothing else does that sound ok?
yes I chased an ex for a long time as well, although not with sex

I thought that we were so right for each other and all I could do was carry on being mates and she would realise that she had made a big mistake in getting rid of me
In the end she got another boyfriend, and one day she told me she was really in love with him which hurt a lot (although obviously I had people telling me "if you love her you should be happy for her", get real)

One time I saw her around uni and she just looked so happy and full of life, I realised how she genuinely did love her bf and he was having a positive effect on her that I never had. Suppose that was the point where it dawned on me that I was never going to get her back.
Mates said "at last, you should have been at this stage ages ago" but it didn't directly change anything I suppose other than leaving me with an empty feeling of hopelessness inside. I have met another girl who I am pretty good mates with who I like now, and who knows whether something will develop from it but still I think about my ex.

But then also I think of another girl who I was seeing and ended up finishing with because there wasn't really "enough" there from my point of view if I was honest. She still liked (and possibly still likes) me and tries to get in touch with me sometimes to hang out. I can understand how she feels and I wonder if she is trying to do the same, thinking that if she hangs around I will change my mind about her, and the harsh truth is no it won't.

It all reminds me of watching that German film "Das Boot" about a U boat in the 2nd World War. The Germans realise their submarine is stuck at the bottom of the sea and can't get out. One of the commanders says that all his life he had searched to find a place where no woman or mother could look after them and he could truly face the cruelty of reality - and now he had actually found that reality.

People will say things like "at least now you can move on" but that is not the reality. You can't control when you "move on", you just have to stare at harsh reality that something that you really want you can't have and there is zero prospect of ever getting it. In the long run you are almost certain to meet someone else and be glad that you didn't sacrifice yourself to the pursuit of someone who didn't love you, but for now you just have the cruel reality. But you aren't the only person who has to face that.
no don't go if that is all he wants just leave him then phone later on and explain personally i do see that as fair as him seeing you like that don't go hun xxx
Reply 11
random_dude_66
ok i have been sleeping with this dude for 10 months and i love him. i found out today that he doesnt feel the same and that it is just sex to him. he wants me to go to his house and met him on tuesday no prizes for guessing what he wants us to do.

questio is do i go???

please help i really love him


That's what happens when girls have sex. You shouldn't go to his house unless you like being used as a piece of meat. There are guys out there who don't use you as a substitute for their hand for a whole ten months. Let's call them nice guys...

BTW I doubt you love him, or if you do it's not any good kind of love. You just enjoy the orgasms he gives you, and you've equated that with love.

Is it love when you only see the guy when he wants to and all you do is have sex? Hmm I wonder.
better to lose a love than love a loser
Reply 13
xXLil'-AnGelXx
no don't go if that is all he wants just leave him then phone later on and explain personally i do see that as fair as him seeing you like that don't go hun xxx

Why is it that I always have to take a massive gulp of air before reading your posts?
Reply 14
I cant believe your asking us if you should go.
come on now think about.
you know fully well he only wants you for sex and doesnt feel the same way you do so why would you go meet up with him if you know whats gonna happen.
do you like being used or something?
id tell him to get lost personally but then again i wouldnt let a guy use me like how hes using you.
im not trying to sound rude or anything if it comes across that way
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leona
Why is it that I always have to take a massive gulp of air before reading your posts?

hahaha
Reply 15
hiya hunni ( i live near u btw)

im my opinion you know this guy is being a loser and using you but you dont want to accept it and want someone on here to tell you its fine to continue sleeping with him

well at the end of the day - messing around (by which i mean foreplay) or sleeping with you isnt going to make him love you, you've given it 10 months and it isnt gonna happen im sorry but i'd cut my losses and get out of there

if you sleep with him or do anything in that nature with him now after what he has said he is gonna lose what respect (none by the sound of it) he had for you and you could end up with a bad repuation for it

hoep things work out pm me if you need to chat
Reply 16
aww hunny that must be horrible!!

don't go sweetie you will only cause yourself more pain and he will drop you in the most horrible way possible if you keep jumping when he says so!!

go by your rules and go by what you say, say no your busy, he souns abit insensitive to turn round and say it was only sex, i was doing the same with this guy and i just didn;t bother with him, hun there is so many more poeple out there that will derserve your love don;t be hung up on one person, you derserve soomeone who knows what respect is and how to treat a girl you are only young!!
forget about him hun
Reply 17
random_dude_66
ok i have been sleeping with this dude for 10 months and i love him. i found out today that he doesnt feel the same and that it is just sex to him. he wants me to go to his house and met him on tuesday no prizes for guessing what he wants us to do.

questio is do i go???

please help i really love him


Nah.

That's not a relationship, which is obviously what you want.
random_dude_66
ive been single for 5 yrs i cant find a bloke who wants me i dont wanna be alone any more
look

its not a proper realtionship if he's not giving anything back. he is USING you, and whetehr you believe so or not, you deserve better than that. As has been said, you're 17, there will be plenty of oppurtunties for you to me a guy thats actually going to treat you right. You should not have to settle for less. Please don't go back to this a-hole. Stand up for yourself, and go out there and meet someone 10x better :smile: You should behappy..not used
Reply 19
Anyone else got "Don't Marry Her, F*ck Me" stuck in their head?