21 years old and grounded...uh Watch

Jim-ie
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#41
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#41
Its up to you what you do with your life, not your parents, cousins, brothers, ethnicity, culture or religion. Only you.
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xayshx
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#42
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#42
(Original post by Emma:-))
You could wait untill finishing uni then. Then get a job quite far from home which would mean you have to move away. Untill then just stick with them, even though it may be hard. But still speak to your parents though and explain whats going on.
Thanks
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effofex
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#43
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(Original post by xayshx)
I've had work experience I mean paid work.
They were fine with my bros moving away for uni..but cause I'm a girl blah blah :/
Why won't they let you have paid work? This seems really strange!

Surely if you have paid work then:

a) you are doing something constructive with your time.
b) you're acquring a greater level of 'business experience' (above unpaid work) which will help your future applications/CV
c) you're able to cover your own expenditure.
d) you're adding to your total household income.

Surely your parents would be pleased with all these things?

Also, in Al-UK, both males and females are allowed to move away for university. No distinction is made according to gender. Is there a reason (i.e. have you asked your parents) - as to why they think differently?
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AshK01
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#44
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It would be a good idea to move to a friend's house or move to the campus accomodation and get a part time job or somethin
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Pindar
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#45
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You are 21, you are allowed to go out and do whatever you want. You cannot be kept a slave without your consent, it's illegal.
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carbondummy
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#46
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(Original post by effofex)
Why won't they let you have paid work? This seems really strange!

Surely if you have paid work then:

a) you are doing something constructive with your time.
b) you're acquring a greater level of 'business experience' (above unpaid work) which will help your future applications/CV
c) you're able to cover your own expenditure.
d) you're adding to your total household income.

Surely your parents would be pleased with all these things?

Also, in Al-UK, both males and females are allowed to move away for university. No distinction is made according to gender. Is there a reason (i.e. have you asked your parents) - as to why they think differently?
Can I just ask - probably on behalf of most of TSR - Why do you put an 'Al' before a country?

OP, what do you want? You keep on repeating about how it's not expected for a pakistani girl to move out or how some stuff isn't done. Have you actually spoken to them, talking it out always helps. Have you got a nice aunty who you can speak to for help? It seems like you want some freedom and trust from your parents but you're not willing to do anything about it.
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Cicerao
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#47
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#47
People have told you the answer, which is to move out. If you're going to keep whining that you can't, then I don't see what the ****ing point of this thread was.
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boromir9111
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#48
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#48
hhhmmm....sounds bad OP, sorry to hear that! talk to someone about this, whom you're close to! don't split up with your parents over this
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effofex
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#49
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#49
(Original post by carbondummy)
Can I just ask - probably on behalf of most of TSR - Why do you put an 'Al' before a country?
Oh, it's just a habit I developed. Sometimes I put it before company names, place names and various forenames too.
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Myth717
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#50
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#50
What does Islam say? paradise lies beneath your mothers feet, and the key to paradise is with your father. It's a test of patience, everyone has family problems, just bear with it, make dua and inshalla you'll be ok.
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chiksy
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#51
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#51
(Original post by xayshx)
I am like so angry/upset.
I'm 21 years old, Muslim girl and I have no independence.
My parents have basically grounded me for being myself and telling someone what I think of them. It's ridiculous...
Ever since I was a child, I used to be forced to go to my relatives houses, all the weddings up until this year. All my cousins my age have always disliked me...they go round starting rumours about me...spreading s**t about me to my own relatives and even in my brothers' wedding they were rude and totally b*tchy towards me and my family. I didn't say anything cause of my parents and I hated it. Recently I had enough and swore at one of them when she started to swear at my family. The cow told the whole family and made some massive thing over it.
Now my family are like not talking to me, cant go out anywhere. I'm basically stuck in the house and its driving me crazy. And now they're trying to tell me not to hang around with my best friend...it's so stupid. ARGH

Thanks for reading...just needed to let it out I guess.
don't worry your since you are Muslim your parents are preparing surprise for you......soon Ahmed ,Muhmed or Osama will be yours :yep:
I couldn't think of any other explanation why they have grounded you
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OceanSoul
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#52
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#52
(Original post by xayshx)
I am like so angry/upset.
I'm 21 years old, Muslim girl and I have no independence.
My parents have basically grounded me for being myself and telling someone what I think of them. It's ridiculous...
Ever since I was a child, I used to be forced to go to my relatives houses, all the weddings up until this year. All my cousins my age have always disliked me...they go round starting rumours about me...spreading s**t about me to my own relatives and even in my brothers' wedding they were rude and totally b*tchy towards me and my family. I didn't say anything cause of my parents and I hated it. Recently I had enough and swore at one of them when she started to swear at my family. The cow told the whole family and made some massive thing over it.
Now my family are like not talking to me, cant go out anywhere. I'm basically stuck in the house and its driving me crazy. And now they're trying to tell me not to hang around with my best friend...it's so stupid. ARGH

Thanks for reading...just needed to let it out I guess.
No offence but I don't get what you being Muslim has to do with this? Your parents are just being misunderstanding although you were trying to defend them. But they might have felt embarrassed that you were being 'rude' and perhaps in reality, they want you to be patient with your relatives? Trust me, there are worse cases. You don't need to depend on the love of your relatives.
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fist of the south star
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#53
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I think people need to read the original post and realise its not the family causing the problems but the *****y relatives.

Fact of the matter is OP sometimes you have to put up with ****, put on a brave face and take it on the chin running away from home is running away from your problems. There is only so many times that you can pack up and leave. No doubt your parents may feel like they are suffocating you but that's a small price to pay for a roof over your head and many other things.
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darknessbehold
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#54
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(Original post by tehFrance)
Big woop, this is Britian not Pakistan so tell them to stick where the sun don't shine

Just move out
This. OP you are old enough to make your own decisions. If your parents dont support you then they are just down right selfish and you should definitely leave them. Sooner or later theyll understand and then they will come back to you...
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xayshx
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#55
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#55
(Original post by Cicerao)
People have told you the answer, which is to move out. If you're going to keep whining that you can't, then I don't see what the ****ing point of this thread was.
Wow you're rude.
I was really just venting my anger or well how I was feeling. I wasn't whining that I can't, I was explaining to those who advised me to move out, that I can't.
Clearly you don't understand and clearly you wasted your time posting, instead of maybe posting on a more meaningful thread.
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Cicerao
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#56
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(Original post by xayshx)
Wow you're rude.
I was really just venting my anger or well how I was feeling. I wasn't whining that I can't, I was explaining to those who advised me to move out, that I can't.
Clearly you don't understand and clearly you wasted your time posting, instead of maybe posting on a more meaningful thread.
Sorry.
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xayshx
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#57
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#57
(Original post by fist of the south star)
I think people need to read the original post and realise its not the family causing the problems but the *****y relatives.

Fact of the matter is OP sometimes you have to put up with ****, put on a brave face and take it on the chin running away from home is running away from your problems. There is only so many times that you can pack up and leave. No doubt your parents may feel like they are suffocating you but that's a small price to pay for a roof over your head and many other things.
Deffo. And yeah it is the relatives..they've been causing **** for years, but yeah thanks
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xayshx
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#58
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#58
(Original post by Cicerao)
Sorry.
I didn't expect that...

Accepted
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tasha19
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#59
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#59
Youre 21, legally classed as an adult, and can therefore do as you please. Being housebound at your age is ridiculous, and totally uncalled for. Try talking to them and explaining the whole situation in depth. If they refuse to understand or listen, moving out is perhaps the only option. If theyre willing to disown their own daughter for moving out, they have issues and need to sort their priorities out!
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MovingOn
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#60
(Original post by SophiaKeuning)
You're not just a 'Pakistani girl', you're your own person and if you want to move out for even a month just to breathe then you certainly can. Move in with a friend or something. You shouldn't let anything control your life, you're an adult now. Your parents lost any right to control you when you turned 18!
Completely agree with this! OP, regardless of what your parents say in this country it is illegal for them to control what you are doing. If you can't afford to move out at the moment then definitely do as above and take some sanctuary at friends houses as much as possible.
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