Attitudes to date rape

I think that if the girl willingly and knowingly partakes in the consumption of alcohol and then because of her drunken state, makes decisions that she later regrets.. that is NOT date rape. If a guy slips something into a girls drink, then yes, that is obviously date rape.

We all make stupid decisions when we drink, I think it is wrong for a girl to get drunk and then try and pass her responsibility onto someone else.

Now if a girl really does get raped (wether it is by physical force, intimidation, the use of drugs, etc..) then that is different and very wrong.

Reply 3

viviki

OP

14

but what about if a girl gets a bit drunk and is coming on to the bloke but wouldn't go any further than flirting. He misinterprets it and slips her doubles for the rest of the night shes so drunk she ends up sleeping with him but she would never have done it if she hadn' had that extra alcohol.

Reply 4

Agent Smith

11

The crucial factor is not whether the girl makes the decision. After all, consenting to something at knifepoint is still a decision. The question, as that example shows, is whether the decision is legitimate (for want of a better term). If the girl is threatened, or under the influence of a substance that affects judgement, one cannot honestly call the decision wholly her own - therefore the "consenting" criterion remains unfulfilled.

Reply 5

Douglas

9

Assuming the date rape drug is no more harmful to the body than alcohol itself, then there'd be no difference between "doubles" and "drug".

If the motive for slipping a girl these "drugs" is to loosen her up for sex, then the next criteria would be....did she spread her legs on her own, or did he have to spread them for her.

Reply 6

TKR

date rape is bad mmkay....

Reply 7

lady_daisychain

2

Kondar

I think that if the girl willingly and knowingly partakes in the consumption of alcohol and then because of her drunken state, makes decisions that she later regrets.. that is NOT date rape. If a guy slips something into a girls drink, then yes, that is obviously date rape.

We all make stupid decisions when we drink, I think it is wrong for a girl to get drunk and then try and pass her responsibility onto someone else.
.

i dunno about that, if a girl purposely gets drunk, it doesnt mean she wants to have sex. if she gets drunk and does something she regrets, its different to getting drunk, and then being forced to have sex, and you cant stop them because you have no control of yourself because you're drunk. its still the man taking advantage. they can see the girls vulnerable, and they still have sex with them.

i mean, the sex is still forced, she doesnt want to have sex, but because the girl is so drunk, but she cant stop it because she's in such a bad state- a man with any moral conscience would not have sex with a girl if she was excessively drunk. and yes- there is part blame on the girl for getting so drunk- but a lot of the blame is on the man.

i can see why you wouldnt see it as date rape, because its the girl's choice to get crazy drunk, but it still makes it wrong for someone to take advantage of that.

Reply 8

xXMessedUpXx

Getting a girl drunk so you can take advantage of her is wrong. And rightly so. It should not be tolerated.

Reply 9

xXMessedUpXx

Getting a girl drunk so you can take advantage of her is wrong. And rightly so. It should not be tolerated.

If the girl gets drunk on her own and drives a car... is that someone elses fault? If a girl gets drunk and gets into a fight... is that someone elses fault? If a girl gets drunk and has consensual sex... is that someone elses fault?

In all these cases I beleive the answer is NO. We all make bad decisions when we drink, we all know that before, during, and after we drink. The decisions we make under the influence are not somebody elses fault. People need to take responsibility for their own actions.

Reply 10

viviki

OP

14

Kondar

If the girl gets drunk on her own and drives a car... is that someone elses fault? If a girl gets drunk and gets into a fight... is that someone elses fault? If a girl gets drunk and has consensual sex... is that someone elses fault?

In all these cases I beleive the answer is NO. We all make bad decisions when we drink, we all know that before, during, and after we drink. The decisions we make under the influence are not somebody elses fault. People need to take responsibility for their own actions.

I think that everyone who has sex should make the effort to make sure that sex is consensual just asking are you ok can make all the difference. Just because someone is too out of it to say no doesn't mean they are saying yes does it.

Reply 11

viviki

but what about if a girl gets a bit drunk and is coming on to the bloke but wouldn't go any further than flirting. He misinterprets it and slips her doubles for the rest of the night shes so drunk she ends up sleeping with him but she would never have done it if she hadn' had that extra alcohol.

If she knowingly and willingly accepts and drinks these, then it is her decisions to do so, and any future decions that might be influenced by these drinks are utlimately because she put herself in that situation.

In fact, most of my female friends who be offended at the idea that women are these weak creatures that are so easily manipulated and influenced.

Reply 12

foxo

17

viviki

but what about if a girl gets a bit drunk and is coming on to the bloke but wouldn't go any further than flirting. He misinterprets it and slips her doubles for the rest of the night shes so drunk she ends up sleeping with him but she would never have done it if she hadn' had that extra alcohol.

She should be careful who she's flirting with.

Reply 13

viviki

OP

14

Kondar

If she knowingly and willingly accepts and drinks these, then it is her decisions to do so, and any future decions that might be influenced by these drinks are utlimately because she put herself in that situation.

In fact, most of my female friends who be offended at the idea that women are these weak creatures that are so easily manipulated and influenced.

I'm talking about a scenario where she has had more alcohol than she realises. My friends have done it to me in the past thinking its funny and it isn't. If you've had a couple sometimes you don't notice that a single is a double but that doesn't mean that you want to get that drunk and out of control.

Slipping people extra drinks to softenthem up is well out of order IMO.
--------------

foxo

She should be careful who she's flirting with.

So a girl thats had a bit of a flirt is asking for it then??

Reply 14

foxo

17

viviki

So a girl thats had a bit of a flirt is asking for it then??

Don't flirt with creeps.

Reply 15

viviki

I'm talking about a scenario where she has had more alcohol than she realises. My friends have done it to me in the past thinking its funny and it isn't. If you've had a couple sometimes you don't notice that a single is a double but that doesn't mean that you want to get that drunk and out of control.

Slipping people extra drinks to softenthem up is well out of order IMO.

I just dont buy this. If a buddy of mine buys me a shot and then I hop in my car and kill someone.. can I blame my friend? Hell no. Girls who go out and get so hammered that they black out and cannot remember everything are 100% responsible for the decisions they make. (Note I said the decisions they make, obviously if they are drugged or assualted then they did not make these decisions).

Reply 16

xXMessedUpXx

Kondar

If she knowingly and willingly accepts and drinks these, then it is her decisions to do so, and any future decions that might be influenced by these drinks are utlimately because she put herself in that situation.

In fact, most of my female friends who be offended at the idea that women are these weak creatures that are so easily manipulated and influenced.

If a girl goes round a "friend"'s house (after he's bombarded her with text messages about be worried etc and making her feel guity) and she's naive enough to believe what he tells her,if she goes over and he offers her a friendly drink. After 3 drink, on a full stomach and a high alcohol tolerance, If she find herself seemingly "drunk" and out of it, with the guy trying to do stuff to her, despite her saying over and over "no". if he invited her over with these intentions and either spiked her drink with drugs or alcohol,

Is that her damn fault?

Reply 17

Tell me if you think this is date rape:
Person A is hammered and wants to pass out. They go into a bedroom with a group of people and say "Hey Im gonna crash" everyone leaves, the light goes out and the door closes. Then Person B slips into bed with person A. They have never spoken a word to each other. Person A is completely drunk and Person B is sober. They have sex.

Is that rape?
--------------

xXMessedUpXx

If a girl goes round a "friend"'s house (after he's bombarded her with text messages about be worried etc and making her feel guity) and she's naive enough to believe what he tells her,if she goes over and he offers her a drink. If she find herself seemingly "drunk" and somewhat out of it, with teh guy trying to do stuff to her, despite her saying over and over "no". if he invited her over with these intentions and either spiked her drink with drugs or alcohol

Is that her damn fault?

If she said NO and he spikes her drink than the answer is obvious.

Reply 18

foxo

17

Kondar

Tell me if you think this is date rape:
Person A is hammered and wants to pass out. They go into a bedroom with a group of people and say "Hey Im gonna crash" everyone leaves, the light goes out and the door closes. Then Person B slips into bed with person A. They have never spoken a word to each other. Person A is completely drunk and Person B is sober. They have sex.

Is that rape?

Yes, I would say so. I think it would be safe to say that Person A wasn't consenting to having sex.

Reply 19

xXMessedUpXx