How to rid yourself of a bad reputation?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
Keep anon please

During freshers I ended up bringing a guy back to my room with me, and we had sex etc. I thought little of it until about 2 months later when some people who I knew to be his friends were laughing and pointing and seemed to know my name.

They started talking about some kind of video and it turns out that this guy i had slept with had recorded us doing stuff and shown all of his friends..obviously unbeknown to me (I was drunk and definately did not consent to him recording anything). They seem to think that I featured in some kind of sex-tape and strongly dislike me for this reason.

I've seen him around recently but don't want to confront him as I'd hate for more people than necessary to see whatever is on his phone.
There's various other groups of people (girls) who have the same perception of me, but I have no idea why..they know of nobody i've slept with and I don't dress particularly '****gy' or act in that way.
I don't really see the problem in being sexually active, but obviously don't want to have that reputation..how can I stop people from thinking that of me?
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*Lollo*
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#2
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#2
I haven't experienced the exact same thing as you, but I know too well how girls can be. Some jealous girls called me a slut once and I've had some *****es say mean things about me even though I'm honestly a very nice person, never rude to anyone, doing well at school, dress nicely and absolutely not provocatively. There are 100 girls at school that are worse, and those who are rude are often those with a shady appearance and behavior. So I thought one day maybe that's the problem, I'm sweet and guys seem to like me, maybe I'm the kind of girl who doesn't seem like she'll fight back. And maybe you are too.

If I was in your school and someone told me about that video and it was the first thing I'd ever heard of you, I wouldn't hold that against you. However, I'm probably less judgmental than most people. People will always have a first impression of you when they meet you in person, which will count way more. Sure there are some immature people who believe whatever they hear, but you cannot go around wondering what everybody's thinking. All you can do is be nice to people. You can also try to 'sneak' into conversation stuff about your values that give a different picture of you.

In the end, the non-virgins at your school will probably understand. All they basically know from this is that you've slept with one guy...
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Roo Bix
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#3
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#3
You need to make people realize that yes, you may have been hasty in freshers, but that what he chose to do was wrong, which it was.

Recording your sexual acts and then having the audacity to spread it around? What a jerk.
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SAK.A
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Kerny)
post something decent, you will get lots of +rep for it
Basically do the opposite of what you just did.
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tailschao
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#5
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#5
I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation...
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Drumzilla
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#6
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#6
i very much doubt they "dislike" you because of the sex tape, in fact they're probably more like :sexface:
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username549578
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#7
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#7
Do something that will stop them thinking of you as 'sex girl'. Do something cool or courageous or funny. Save a child from a burning building, build an amazing statue, run a marathon for charity, start your own business, have sex with several other people, become an amazing chef, win a talent show. The list is endless.
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tinshed
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#8
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#8
go to the library and study so people will see that doesn't matter what you get up to at least you have some intelligence in you.
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PortiaLovesMcqueen
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#9
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#9
Walk around uni in a robe, with a fat rosary around your neck and a bible under your arm singing Christian hymns.
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#10
(Original post by *Lollo*)
I haven't experienced the exact same thing as you, but I know too well how girls can be. Some jealous girls called me a slut once and I've had some *****es say mean things about me even though I'm honestly a very nice person, never rude to anyone, doing well at school, dress nicely and absolutely not provocatively. There are 100 girls at school that are worse, and those who are rude are often those with a shady appearance and behavior. So I thought one day maybe that's the problem, I'm sweet and guys seem to like me, maybe I'm the kind of girl who doesn't seem like she'll fight back. And maybe you are too.

If I was in your school and someone told me about that video and it was the first thing I'd ever heard of you, I wouldn't hold that against you. However, I'm probably less judgmental than most people. People will always have a first impression of you when they meet you in person, which will count way more. Sure there are some immature people who believe whatever they hear, but you cannot go around wondering what everybody's thinking. All you can do is be nice to people. You can also try to 'sneak' into conversation stuff about your values that give a different picture of you.

In the end, the non-virgins at your school will probably understand. All they basically know from this is that you've slept with one guy...

I guess that could be it, i'm not the kind of person to really get into confrontations so...:confused:
Suppose the people who spread this kind of stuff around aren't worth persuading...they've made up their minds already so i'll just be nice! Thank you for being so kind
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Pink Bullets
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#11
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#11
(Original post by Lewroll)
Do something that will stop them thinking of you as 'sex girl'. Do something cool or courageous or funny. Save a child from a burning building, build an amazing statue, run a marathon for charity, start your own business, have sex with several other people, become an amazing chef, win a talent show. The list is endless.
Now, where did I put my matches...


(Not actually the OP, FYI!)
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willbee
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#12
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#12
if he's giving you a bad reputation because of the sex tape he made without your knowledge, surely if people talk about it (to your face) just be honest and say you didnt even know he had a camera, and if you were drunk/partying hard people will understand that these things happen and youre not "****gy". if anything, if people know he recorded you having sex without your permission it'll make him look like a perv, which serves him right. its one thing to have agree to sex, another thing to agree to having your sex filmed. essentially the difference between casual intercourse and pornography. so, in a sense, he has "violated" you. and if people know you didnt know about the "sex tape" they'll be more sympathetic towards you.

tbh, if people are talking about you behind your back, or you get the feeling at least that they are, it might be that they already know you didnt give him permission to film you having sex. if they havent said things to your face it might be cos they do sympathise.

but people still gossip about people they feel sorry for. people gossip about people.

as long as you know the truth, and you're friends know the truth (that you didnt know about the sextape) you neednt feel ashamed. you're not the one in the wrong. but i wouldnt advise telling people about it "willy-nilly" just in case not that many people know and you dont turn it into a bigger scandal than it needs to be.

it was freshers week. lots of people have sex with semi-strangers.
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Liam 09
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#13
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#13
Become active TSR user and gain many rep points.
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ibs137
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#14
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#14
1. Find a lady who puts cats in bins
2. Punch her to death
3. ????
4. Profit!
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dmz
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#15
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#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
Keep anon please

During freshers I ended up bringing a guy back to my room with me, and we had sex etc. I thought little of it until about 2 months later when some people who I knew to be his friends were laughing and pointing and seemed to know my name.

They started talking about some kind of video and it turns out that this guy i had slept with had recorded us doing stuff and shown all of his friends..obviously unbeknown to me (I was drunk and definately did not consent to him recording anything). They seem to think that I featured in some kind of sex-tape and strongly dislike me for this reason.

I've seen him around recently but don't want to confront him as I'd hate for more people than necessary to see whatever is on his phone.
There's various other groups of people (girls) who have the same perception of me, but I have no idea why..they know of nobody i've slept with and I don't dress particularly '****gy' or act in that way.
I don't really see the problem in being sexually active, but obviously don't want to have that reputation..how can I stop people from thinking that of me?
Guy sounds like a ****, but it's uni, you should be able to get away with ****ing in public (Well sort of) try not to let it get to you and consider it as a norm and if it doesn't get to you, then it's their problem
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coca
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#16
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#16
(Original post by ibs137)
1. Find a lady who puts cats in bins
2. Punch her to death
3. ????
4. Profit!
I like your sig.
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edd360
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#17
Report 10 years ago
#17
re-apply with a different name?
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ibs137
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#18
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#18
(Original post by coca)
I like your sig.
haha look how determined she is to keep on walking! poor model! :lol:
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