Can't put up with negative friend any more! Watch

mespannerhanz
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#1
Report Thread starter 8 years ago
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me and my best mate always used to get on really well. however recently, she has become more and more negative about stuff, (she always has been quite negative, but its become worse). i brought it up a few weeks ago, she didn't take it well, and didn't speak to me for over a week! we're talking a bit more, but not loads.

i told her that i was finding it hard to deal with her constant negativity, which i don't regret saying, as it was the truth, but it upset her a lot.

however, since then, nothing has changed, if anything it's worse! whenever i ask her how her day/week was, she's always 'boring, tiring, fed up, bad.' i know we all have our bad days/weeks, lifes not always easy, but she is constantly having 'bad weeks.' she's not depressed, its not that sort of negativity, although depression does run in her family. she's not fed up with life, she's just down right pessimistic and lazy.

last week i invited her to an event i was going to on the friday and saturday, which she has been to before, but she 'couldn't be bothered to go' and didn't like it' but then was on facebook moaning she was bored and fed up.

i'm kinda getting to the point now where i don't know what to do about it. has anyone got an suggestions? also, we're meant to be going camping with youth group in summer at christian event, soul survivor, and neither of us are particularly friendly with anyone else going, so it would just be us two in a tent, but i'm not sure i can hack that for 6 days!! help! :confused:

tl;dr - best friend is negative and can't be bothered to do anything, not in a depresion way, just lazy and pessimistic and moans a lot, and can't handle it anymore!
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imperial maniac
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She's just attention seeking, if she won't listen to reason giver some alone time, she will come round.

Probably, or she may hate you forever
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staring.space
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To be fair, I'm having a very similar problem with my flatmate. This term I decided to get out there and through making much more of an effort to meet people, I'm much happier.

However, my flatmate is always complaining and saying she has no friends (she's on quite a small course, and her societies only meet up every few weeks). I always try to invite her out with my friends and to go to societies, but she's always making up excuses. While I understand that she has a lot of work, she'd rather stay in and she's only been out once this term and be "bothered" to meet new people. While I don't want her to be unhappy and I do really like her, her attitude is starting to annoy me, to be honest.

All in all OP, if she doesn't stop moaning, I'd just ignore her. Silence is usually the best policy, and hopefully she'll stop. That's what I'm doing anyway.
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I am soapy
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Remember to stay positive! :cookie:
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Onge
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#5
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find new ones?
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Bonfire
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You can't change her outlook, only she has the power to; so stop trying. You've seen how your attempts are fruitless. Wait for her to come round, and if she doesn't, then as harsh as it sounds, I don't think you should be afraid to limit your contact with her/let her go. It's your life, and why should anyone drag you down?
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mespannerhanz
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the ironic thing is she's two years older than me, yet if feels like i'm the one thats older. the problem is we'd still have to see each other, like at church and youth group. i really enjoy going to the group, so don't want to stop just cos her going, but on the other hand, it would be awkward as everyone knows/thinks we're good freinds.
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Boobies.
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The worst kind of friendships are those when you can't be honest and say what you think to someone because they do something like not talking to you for a week; thats pretty childish if you weren't completely insensitive.

I'd say be straight with her, but she'll probably have another hissy fit. Just ignore her, and roll your eyes/act exasperated whenever she starts moaning. She might get the message.
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Anonymous #1
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I'm in a similar situation. I have a friend who I used to be quite close with, but we've drifted apart in the past year or so and these days I can barely stand to be around her. She's really negative and most of the time she's in a bad mood, she constantly complains about trivial things, fishes for sympathy and has a bit of a victim complex. When our friends are hanging out in a group and she's acting like this, I leave so I don't have to be around her. I wish she didn't annoy me so much because despite her negativity she's a nice person, and when she's in a good mood she's a blast to be with. :dontknow:

[anon because who knows who might be reading...]
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mermania
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Maybe her life is just as **** as she says? Personally, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
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