The Student Room Group

My Muslim parents are annoying and I can’t believe what they just said!

I know I’m going to sound pathetic and I know there has been many threads about mulsim/strict parents etc But please excuse me I need to let it all out
My parents are muslims as you can tell ^^ I love them, they have done a lot for me, although they haven’t been the best of parents but they have brought me up and fed me.

I grew up always wanting what other kids had, for example on eid I always wanted clothes like my other cousins but my dad didn’t have a job (he was healthy but lazy) so he couldn’t afford eid clothes for me, but if he wasn’t so lazy I could have been a happy child. As I grew up I started to get used to the fact that my dad doesn’t care about my future and I should just give up on believing that one day he will come home from work and buy me lots of clothes and toys. I was a kid after all and my idea of being happy was being like my cousins who had everything that I wanted.

Now I’m 18 and happy-ish with my life, but my parents are still stopping me from being what I want and having the life that I want. Like every 18 year old I want to be allowed to go out every now and then and have a bit of fun, but I’m not allowed. I have been lying to my parents to go out and have a good time. I don’t really believe in Islam and they don’t know.

Today I came home about an hour ago, and my parents thought that I was at the library but I was at my bf’s house. I came home and I got shouted at, because my dad went to the library on his way home to pick me up, he didn’t have to do this, he just wanted to check on me! so I wasn’t there and now they are going crazy.

They have been bitching about me and I can hear them clearly in my room, my dad called me a whore and he said that he can’t wait till I go to university and leave him in peace. My mum said yeah she can go and live her life the way it pleases her, and the moment she leaves this house to go to university she is no longer our daughter.

What the ****!!!!!!!!! I actually want to go to uni to study, I have been working way too hard for my a levels and have applied for the most competitive course, how can they say this!!
I went straight to the living room after I heard this and tried to talk to them, they just didn’t care and my dad nearly slapped me. I have respected all the time, not even once I have mentioned that my dad’s laziness ruined my childhood and teenage life. That their unnecessary strictness made me sad and that they need to let go of their culture, relax and let me live, it’s not my fault I was born here

:/ so sorry for this long post, I just had to tell someone

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
This aint just Muslim parents. Parents from every culture give their kids a hard time sometimes, yknow. As long as youre happy with your achievements, why do you care? Especially from someone who can't even go out and work. If that was my Dad, I wouldn't be able to respect him.
At least they want you to leave and go to university. They could be like some who would completely outlaw that option entirely and keep you under strict surveillance. Or threaten to get you married and sent abroad. :lolwut:
Reply 3
Sorry to hear you've bn havin a hard time all you gotta think is your parents are just looking out and trying to do what THEY think is best for you, which is not working in your favour....but seriously you gotta stop lying to them after all if anything happend to you at your boyfriends house how would you tell your parents they would go ballistic!! and thats what sums up any parents - OVER PROTECTIVE! lol...
just imagine if you had a daughter and how you would feel if she lied to you or she wasnt at the library, you would be worried sick....im not trying to make you feel worse but every story has two sides sometimes you gotta put yourself in their shoes.....hope this helped xx
Reply 4
How is this anything related to Islaam?

It's entirely cultural.
Reply 5
Original post by seema

They have been bitching about me and I can hear them clearly in my room, my dad called me a whore and he said that he can’t wait till I go to university and leave him in peace. My mum said yeah she can go and live her life the way it pleases her, and the moment she leaves this house to go to university she is no longer our daughter.


**** them! I know that sounds harsh but honestly if they are not even going to make the effort to talk to you and try to help you out of the situation you are in then you don't need them. Live your own life, do what you want and when you go to uni and become independent never return. That might sound harsh but it is honestly what I would do.

If they keep pestering you about not following Islam, then just point out there own hypocricy as I am sure there are many aspect's of the faith they are not following. I mean that is evident from the way they are treating you right now.
Your first post on TSR and it's a very long one at that.......not a good start I must say :h:
i was brought up as a Jehovah Witness and i hated every single day of it, from bible bashing to xmass times, by the age of fourteen i went against them on purpose (skiving from school, smoking experimenting with drugs, having sex and so forth) my parents knew i hated the double standards in the religion, i was kinda lucky in a way that at 16 i was kicked out of the house and never moved back since, believe it or not i dont hold it against them at all and matter of fact sleeping rough for 2 years taught me a lesson, and now im closer to my parents like never before, so maybe you might find it easier once your independent and not under their roof
Original post by SAK.A
Yeah but most Muslim males are able to spell.


I wish I was muslim and of asian descent, it would give me a good excuse to do random crap like annoy the white peoples and call a few some chosen names.

Besides when I am foaming at the mouth I tend to become illiterate so I blame the jewish education system.
Reply 9
What the heck does Islam got to do with this?

My Hindi friends are in a similar situation, so this more or less to do with culture! I smell troll!!!! 1 post too.
Original post by seema
I know I’m going to sound pathetic and I know there has been many threads about mulsim/strict parents etc But please excuse me I need to let it all out
My parents are muslims as you can tell ^^ I love them, they have done a lot for me, although they haven’t been the best of parents but they have brought me up and fed me.

I grew up always wanting what other kids had, for example on eid I always wanted clothes like my other cousins but my dad didn’t have a job (he was healthy but lazy) so he couldn’t afford eid clothes for me, but if he wasn’t so lazy I could have been a happy child. As I grew up I started to get used to the fact that my dad doesn’t care about my future and I should just give up on believing that one day he will come home from work and buy me lots of clothes and toys. I was a kid after all and my idea of being happy was being like my cousins who had everything that I wanted.

Now I’m 18 and happy-ish with my life, but my parents are still stopping me from being what I want and having the life that I want. Like every 18 year old I want to be allowed to go out every now and then and have a bit of fun, but I’m not allowed. I have been lying to my parents to go out and have a good time. I don’t really believe in Islam and they don’t know.

Today I came home about an hour ago, and my parents thought that I was at the library but I was at my bf’s house. I came home and I got shouted at, because my dad went to the library on his way home to pick me up, he didn’t have to do this, he just wanted to check on me! so I wasn’t there and now they are going crazy.

They have been bitching about me and I can hear them clearly in my room, my dad called me a whore and he said that he can’t wait till I go to university and leave him in peace. My mum said yeah she can go and live her life the way it pleases her, and the moment she leaves this house to go to university she is no longer our daughter.

What the ****!!!!!!!!! I actually want to go to uni to study, I have been working way too hard for my a levels and have applied for the most competitive course, how can they say this!!
I went straight to the living room after I heard this and tried to talk to them, they just didn’t care and my dad nearly slapped me. I have respected all the time, not even once I have mentioned that my dad’s laziness ruined my childhood and teenage life. That their unnecessary strictness made me sad and that they need to let go of their culture, relax and let me live, it’s not my fault I was born here

:/ so sorry for this long post, I just had to tell someone



Please don't use the phrase "muslim parent" as some sort of negative thing, you are generalising right there. Not all muslim parents are bad.

You think this is something to do with being muslim ? You're not telling your parents the truth. Can you really blame them for feeling this way (I acknowledge their words are out of line) but it's a safety thing. They need to know where you are at all times.

Even as a white person I acknowledge regularly how hard it must be for muslim parents to see the cultural gap between them and their kids. It's beyond me why the kids themselves don't understand it

My sister and dad had a pretty bad fight when she was younger over something like this. It's about the fact you violated the trust between the two of you. It's also about the safety issue. They need to know where you are at all times you know in case you don't come back.

You don't have abusive parents or parents that are forcing you into marriage or whatever. You sound like you have parents. Don't use the phrase "muslim parents" like it is some sort of ailment you suffer from. The people that raised you and brought you up well (by your own admission) deserve more than that. I'm not saying the way they went about it is right, they said some mean things but at the risk of sounding childish you did start it by deceiving them. It's a common fear amongst parents that they will lose their kids when they go to university.

I hardly ever lie to my parents and even though I get the odd tongue lashing they tend to be very decent about whatever I do.
Reply 11
Original post by HARRY PUTAH
I wish I was muslim and of asian descent, it would give me a good excuse to do random crap like annoy the white peoples and call a few some chosen names.

Besides when I am foaming at the mouth I tend to become illiterate so I blame the jewish education system.


Let the arguments begin...

Oh wait I am too lazy to argue. Have fun with your arguments. :tongue:
Original post by seema
I know I’m going to sound pathetic and I know there has been many threads about mulsim/strict parents etc But please excuse me I need to let it all out
My parents are muslims as you can tell ^^ I love them, they have done a lot for me, although they haven’t been the best of parents but they have brought me up and fed me.

I grew up always wanting what other kids had, for example on eid I always wanted clothes like my other cousins but my dad didn’t have a job (he was healthy but lazy) so he couldn’t afford eid clothes for me, but if he wasn’t so lazy I could have been a happy child. As I grew up I started to get used to the fact that my dad doesn’t care about my future and I should just give up on believing that one day he will come home from work and buy me lots of clothes and toys. I was a kid after all and my idea of being happy was being like my cousins who had everything that I wanted.

Now I’m 18 and happy-ish with my life, but my parents are still stopping me from being what I want and having the life that I want. Like every 18 year old I want to be allowed to go out every now and then and have a bit of fun, but I’m not allowed. I have been lying to my parents to go out and have a good time. I don’t really believe in Islam and they don’t know.

Today I came home about an hour ago, and my parents thought that I was at the library but I was at my bf’s house. I came home and I got shouted at, because my dad went to the library on his way home to pick me up, he didn’t have to do this, he just wanted to check on me! so I wasn’t there and now they are going crazy.

They have been bitching about me and I can hear them clearly in my room, my dad called me a whore and he said that he can’t wait till I go to university and leave him in peace. My mum said yeah she can go and live her life the way it pleases her, and the moment she leaves this house to go to university she is no longer our daughter.

What the ****!!!!!!!!! I actually want to go to uni to study, I have been working way too hard for my a levels and have applied for the most competitive course, how can they say this!!
I went straight to the living room after I heard this and tried to talk to them, they just didn’t care and my dad nearly slapped me. I have respected all the time, not even once I have mentioned that my dad’s laziness ruined my childhood and teenage life. That their unnecessary strictness made me sad and that they need to let go of their culture, relax and let me live, it’s not my fault I was born here

:/ so sorry for this long post, I just had to tell someone


Consider yourself lucky.For it could have been much worse than that... for starters they could have somehow manipulated and send you back to their homeland.
(edited 13 years ago)
Reply 13
Original post by seema
I know I’m going to sound pathetic and I know there has been many threads about mulsim/strict parents etc But please excuse me I need to let it all out
My parents are muslims as you can tell ^^ I love them, they have done a lot for me, although they haven’t been the best of parents but they have brought me up and fed me.

I grew up always wanting what other kids had, for example on eid I always wanted clothes like my other cousins but my dad didn’t have a job (he was healthy but lazy) so he couldn’t afford eid clothes for me, but if he wasn’t so lazy I could have been a happy child. As I grew up I started to get used to the fact that my dad doesn’t care about my future and I should just give up on believing that one day he will come home from work and buy me lots of clothes and toys. I was a kid after all and my idea of being happy was being like my cousins who had everything that I wanted.

Now I’m 18 and happy-ish with my life, but my parents are still stopping me from being what I want and having the life that I want. Like every 18 year old I want to be allowed to go out every now and then and have a bit of fun, but I’m not allowed. I have been lying to my parents to go out and have a good time. I don’t really believe in Islam and they don’t know.

Today I came home about an hour ago, and my parents thought that I was at the library but I was at my bf’s house. I came home and I got shouted at, because my dad went to the library on his way home to pick me up, he didn’t have to do this, he just wanted to check on me! so I wasn’t there and now they are going crazy.

They have been bitching about me and I can hear them clearly in my room, my dad called me a whore and he said that he can’t wait till I go to university and leave him in peace. My mum said yeah she can go and live her life the way it pleases her, and the moment she leaves this house to go to university she is no longer our daughter.

What the ****!!!!!!!!! I actually want to go to uni to study, I have been working way too hard for my a levels and have applied for the most competitive course, how can they say this!!
I went straight to the living room after I heard this and tried to talk to them, they just didn’t care and my dad nearly slapped me. I have respected all the time, not even once I have mentioned that my dad’s laziness ruined my childhood and teenage life. That their unnecessary strictness made me sad and that they need to let go of their culture, relax and let me live, it’s not my fault I was born here

:/ so sorry for this long post, I just had to tell someone



This is more of a cultural thing than a religious one you do know that.
Original post by SAK.A
Let the arguments begin...

Oh wait I am too lazy to argue. Have fun with your arguments. :tongue:


I am busy burning my dawters in acid baths and calling them jewish whores to care how lazy you are!




Can you pass the salt?
Reply 15
Original post by HARRY PUTAH
I am busy burning my dawters in acid baths and calling them jewish whores to care how lazy you are!




Can you pass the salt?


Nope used it all up sorry mate. But I've got a 10kg bag of Sodium chloride coming in on Thursday if you want some.
Original post by SAK.A
Yeah but most Muslim males are able to spell.


Yeah, in Arabic, not English.
Original post by seema
I know I’m going to sound pathetic and I know there has been many threads about mulsim/strict parents etc But please excuse me I need to let it all out
My parents are muslims as you can tell ^^



This has nothing to do with Islam as previously mentioned by other posters. I know a fair few people who are not allowed to go out and 'have fun' blah blah blah and their parents are not strict muslims.
So instead of getting upset over a religion which you have decided to not follow just cuz your parents do, you should focus on your relationship with them. You might find that they are just control freaks and nothing will change. In that case, look forward to universitiy! I know a girl who was threatened by her family so much during her A levels. "If you leave this house to go to Uni, we will disown you!.." bla bla bla.. she goes to bristol uni now and guess what? Her daddy pays for her travel to come back home whenever she wants. She goes out all the time wears/eats/drinks whatever she wants and does whatever she wants. Her parents don't know this but she has not been disowned. Empty threats.

Sorry about the esssay, it just gets to me when people are so quick to bash Islam if there are strict parents involved. I understand that the parents might use Islam as an excuse themselves but that doesn't make Islam bad... just their use of it. If that makes sense.

My parents are muslim and have taught me what is right and what is wrong according to Islam. They have allowed me to have my freedom. I go out with my friends whenever I want and I come back at whatever time I please. I just make sure I am respectful of my family and Islam. Although I don't know if I would call myself muslim, I'm not going to disrespect what my family taught me.

Rant over.

tl;dr - Islam is not the problem, the strict parents are.

Sorry again.. :smile:
Reply 18
Original post by The-Real-One
Yeah, in Arabic, not English.


Whatever you say.
[QUOTE=

tl;dr - Islam is not the problem, the strict parents are.

Sorry again.. :smile:

religion tends to mould and affect peoples way of life