Will you read this for me, I need input

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Danithestudent
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So, your finally here! University, you are officially an adult! University opens up all kinds of new doors and windows into things you couldn't necessarily do at home, sunbathing naked on the roof, eating your cereal with beer instead of milk, staying up all night. However as stated in the film Spiderman "With great power comes great responsibility" there is indeed a great responsibility.
You've been to 6th form college, you've had girlfriends and boyfriends, you've laid the foundations to becoming the world's greatest lover and University is a playground of unknown totty, but before you go out and down enough alcohol to sterilize 5 major hospitals, think about the facts and the repercussions of bedding that cute blonde sitting at the bar.

1 in 3 sexually active teenagers has an STD! No, really it is TRUE!

What is chlamydia? Well Chlamydia trachomatis, as it is referred to in big books that you'll probably never read, is an infection that chokes cells and is passed on by both oral and penetrative sex. It's often not noticed for a long time as symptoms can be hidden, in fact 75% of women and 25% of men with Chlamydia show no symptoms at all, it wasn't even considered a STD until 1957 because they didn't know it existed!
Chlamydia shows itself in a number of different ways however, all of which are nasty like a burning sensation when you wee and bleeding as well as a sore throat if passed on via oral sex.

It's easily treatable however, with a course of antibiotics but it's still very contagious and you need to inform everybody you've slept with since you contracted it and if you continue to have sex, use a condom, otherwise it can lead to being infertile which at this time of your life may sound appealing however in 10 or 20 years time it will become a great curse when you want to spawn and take over the world!

Miss, that boy's got nits!
What about lice? No not nits, that's primary school but pubic lice. Yeah sounds nasty doesn't it, little critters crawling about in your nether regions, it's making my head itch just thinking about it.
They are not only passed on by having sex but also through bed linen and towels. They live there and bite you and drink your blood, they make you itch, and can even be passed onto...dare I say it? Your eyebrow and eyelashes, though I am curious as to how they get there.

In order to get rid of them you have to go to your local GP and get some pubic shampoo (has a nice ring to it don't you think?), and scrub and scrub till you are red raw and put off sex for a long time, boil all of your bed linen and towels and not to mention the added embarrassment of once again having to ring all the people you've shagged (thus encouraging you not to have one night stands) and divulge the embarrassing secret that you have the population of South East Asia living in your knickers. Nice.

"I'll never eat cottage cheese again!"
Gonorrhea, that sounds like an African tribe doesn't it? Well it's really gonococcus bacteria which needs a big dose of penicillin to get rid of it, more than 90% of people that contract it never get any symptoms and those who do can expect painful peeing, lots of skanky stuff coming out of them with the consistency of cottage cheese, swollen bits and pieces, abdominal pain and more. Sounds lovely doesn't it? Not to mention it isn't just restricted to your dark places but also it can go to the eyes, it causes blindness, pelvic inflammatory disease, infertility, hepatitis....the list is endless!

Once again can be avoided with a little thought into contraception, condoms are not a bad thing you know!

You thought you could only get chickenpox once!
Genital warts, ugh. Nasty raised spots on your willy, mouth and other areas, they are red, they look grim, not very shaggadelic baby. They need to be treated however, unfortunately they never go away.
Shame on you!


And then, there are the big ones.

"I'm dying to sleep with you"
"You really like me that much?"
"No, I'm dying to sleep with you cuz your gonna give me HIV!"


The Human Immunodeficiency Virus or HIV as it's more commonly known ,is a nasty *******, I mean really nasty. You can go for years not knowing you have it, in that time you can infect a lot of people, think of it, you sleep with 6 people, they sleep with 6 people....after several times that is around 60,466,176 people who have contracted HIV.
That is a lot of people. All because you didn't go and get checked out. All those people, and yourself will develop AIDS, all those people will die just because you didn't use a condom. Is that even fair?

So, before you go out and play Casanova and weave you mojo, just remember. Have you got condoms? Do you really like that person enough to sleep with them and risk all this?

I'm not getting all George W. on you but you have to realize there are implications to our actions, some extremely severe. University is a time for learning, experimentation and finding out what makes you tick, so don't ruin it for you or for anybody else by being irresponsible and not taking care of yourself.

These are but a few of the many Sexually Transmitted Diseases you can contract, but there is also pregnancy and emotional aspects that can play a part in this. How would you feel to be 19 and pregnant? How would you feel if you had Chlamydia and everybody hated you because they got it to?

Treating the little buggers
If you think that you have contracted an STD, are pregnant or just need some advice then pop along to your local GP or Information Centre (not tourist information mind, I don’t want to be sued for people exposing themselves in unsuitable places!), I know it’s embarrassing, I know they’ll have to poke about at you, but consider it a party, but with bright lights, rubber gloves and a doctor. Just like a medical student orgy! You’ll be relieved if it comes up clear and if not you’ll be so scared that you’ll have to do it again you’ll wear a condom or a femidom!

Remember, with great power comes great responsibility, think before you do. You'll be saving yourself a lot of pain and distress in the process.
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jediknight007
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Maybe you could stick in some subheadings in there. Or at least stick a line in between paragraphs
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Danithestudent
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#3
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(Original post by jediknight007)
Maybe you could stick in some subheadings in there. Or at least stick a line in between paragraphs
Lol there were but I cut n pasted it and they've gone! :eek:
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jediknight007
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(Original post by Danithestudent)
Lol there were but I cut n pasted it and they've gone! :eek:
So much better! That deserves some +ve rep.
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viviki
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maybe put in a paragraph about where to get treated?
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Danithestudent
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(Original post by jediknight007)
So much better! That deserves some +ve rep.
Awww thanks!!!!! You dont think it's too crude? Do you think that it gets the message across? etcetc etc
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Danithestudent
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(Original post by viviki)
maybe put in a paragraph about where to get treated?
good point!
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jediknight007
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It might also be useful to add sources of where you get your statistics from.
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Danithestudent
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Yeah I have done that at the bottom of the word document
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Danithestudent
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Has anybody noticed that every single one of those bar HIV has been in Hollyoaks in the last couple of years?
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Danithestudent
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(Original post by jediknight007)
So much better! That deserves some +ve rep.
lol...well?
Hehehe
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jediknight007
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(Original post by Danithestudent)
lol...well?
Hehehe
Sorry babe, can't give any out yet since I gave some last night but can't remember when! Going to have to wait until tomorrow, that's if I remember!
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Danithestudent
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(Original post by jediknight007)
Sorry babe, can't give any out yet since I gave some last night but can't remember when! Going to have to wait until tomorrow, that's if I remember!
Hehe it's ok i'm only kidding, I'm only 4 points from 4 gems.
How come only you and viviki have given me input wheras there has been like 50 views of it?
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jediknight007
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(Original post by Danithestudent)
Hehe it's ok i'm only kidding, I'm only 4 points from 4 gems.
How come only you and viviki have given me input wheras there has been like 50 views of it?
Because we care about you.
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Danithestudent
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Or maybe they were so amazed they are stunned in silence
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jediknight007
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(Original post by Danithestudent)
Or maybe they were so amazed they are stunned in silence
Yay! You got your 4 gems now. Well, I'm off to bed now....
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Danithestudent
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(Original post by jediknight007)
Yay! You got your 4 gems now. Well, I'm off to bed now....
yay thanks night night xxx
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Andrew_S
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(Original post by Danithestudent)
So, your finally here! University, you are officially an adult!

should be you're. You should rephrase the first two lines into one, as seperating linked ideas with 2 exclamation marks isn't good.

University opens up all kinds of new doors and windows into things you couldn't necessarily do at home, sunbathing naked on the roof, eating your cereal with beer instead of milk, staying up all night. However as stated in the film Spiderman "With great power comes great responsibility" there is indeed a great responsibility.

should be a comma after spiderman

You've been to 6th form college, you've had girlfriends and boyfriends, you've laid the foundations to becoming the world's greatest lover and University is a playground of unknown totty, but before you go out and down enough alcohol to sterilize 5 major hospitals, think about the facts and the repercussions of bedding that cute blonde sitting at the bar.

1 in 3 sexually active teenagers has an STD! No, really it is TRUE!

What is chlamydia? Well Chlamydia trachomatis, as it is referred to in big books that you'll probably never read, is an infection that chokes cells and is passed on by both oral and penetrative sex. It's often not noticed for a long time as symptoms can be hidden, in fact 75% of women and 25% of men with Chlamydia show no symptoms at all, it wasn't even considered a STD until 1957 because they didn't know it existed!
Chlamydia shows itself in a number of different ways however, all of which are nasty like a burning sensation when you wee and bleeding as well as a sore throat if passed on via oral sex.

It's easily treatable however, with a course of antibiotics but it's still very contagious and you need to inform everybody you've slept with since you contracted it and if you continue to have sex, use a condom, otherwise it can lead to being infertile which at this time of your life may sound appealing however in 10 or 20 years time it will become a great curse when you want to spawn and take over the world!

Miss, that boy's got nits!
What about lice? No not nits, that's primary school but pubic lice. Yeah sounds nasty doesn't it, little critters crawling about in your nether regions, it's making my head itch just thinking about it.
They are not only passed on by having sex but also through bed linen and towels. They live there and bite you and drink your blood, they make you itch, and can even be passed onto...dare I say it? Your eyebrow and eyelashes, though I am curious as to how they get there.

eyebrow/s

In order to get rid of them you have to go to your local GP and get some pubic shampoo (has a nice ring to it don't you think?), and scrub and scrub till you are red raw and put off sex for a long time, boil all of your bed linen and towels and not to mention the added embarrassment of once again having to ring all the people you've shagged (thus encouraging you not to have one night stands) and divulge the embarrassing secret that you have the population of South East Asia living in your knickers. Nice.

The above sentence is too long.


"I'll never eat cottage cheese again!"
Gonorrhea, that sounds like an African tribe doesn't it? Well it's really gonococcus bacteria which needs a big dose of penicillin to get rid of it, more than 90% of people that contract it never get any symptoms and those who do can expect painful peeing, lots of skanky stuff coming out of them with the consistency of cottage cheese, swollen bits and pieces, abdominal pain and more. Sounds lovely doesn't it? Not to mention it isn't just restricted to your dark places but also it can go to the eyes, it causes blindness, pelvic inflammatory disease, infertility, hepatitis....the list is endless!

Once again can be avoided with a little thought into contraception, condoms are not a bad thing you know!

You thought you could only get chickenpox once!
Genital warts, ugh. Nasty raised spots on your willy, mouth and other areas, they are red, they look grim, not very shaggadelic baby. They need to be treated however, unfortunately they never go away.
Shame on you!


And then, there are the big ones.

"I'm dying to sleep with you"
"You really like me that much?"
"No, I'm dying to sleep with you cuz your gonna give me HIV!"


you're not your

The Human Immunodeficiency Virus or HIV as it's more commonly known ,is a nasty *******, I mean really nasty. You can go for years not knowing you have it, in that time you can infect a lot of people, think of it, you sleep with 6 people, they sleep with 6 people....after several times that is around 60,466,176 people who have contracted HIV.
That is a lot of people. All because you didn't go and get checked out. All those people, and yourself will develop AIDS, all those people will die just because you didn't use a condom. Is that even fair?

So, before you go out and play Casanova and weave you mojo, just remember. Have you got condoms? Do you really like that person enough to sleep with them and risk all this?

I'm not getting all George W. on you but you have to realize there are implications to our actions, some extremely severe. University is a time for learning, experimentation and finding out what makes you tick, so don't ruin it for you or for anybody else by being irresponsible and not taking care of yourself.

These are but a few of the many Sexually Transmitted Diseases you can contract, but there is also pregnancy and emotional aspects that can play a part in this. How would you feel to be 19 and pregnant? How would you feel if you had Chlamydia and everybody hated you because they got it to?

Treating the little buggers
If you think that you have contracted an STD, are pregnant or just need some advice then pop along to your local GP or Information Centre (not tourist information mind, I don’t want to be sued for people exposing themselves in unsuitable places!), I know it’s embarrassing, I know they’ll have to poke about at you, but consider it a party, but with bright lights, rubber gloves and a doctor. Just like a medical student orgy! You’ll be relieved if it comes up clear and if not you’ll be so scared that you’ll have to do it again you’ll wear a condom or a femidom!

Remember, with great power comes great responsibility, think before you do. You'll be saving yourself a lot of pain and distress in the process.

Why isn't with great power... quoted as before and why have you chosen to repeat it?
Good article overall, except for the few niggling mistakes I highlighted in the quote. My only other criticism is that in my opinion you use too many rhetorical questions. They are an effective way to express an opinion, but too many detracts from their overall effect. Anyway, well written!
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Danithestudent
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Andrew_S)
Good article overall, except for the few niggling mistakes I highlighted in the quote. My only other criticism is that in my opinion you use too many rhetorical questions. They are an effective way to express an opinion, but too many detracts from their overall effect. Anyway, well written!
Thank you! I'm awful when I type my grammar goes to pot! And as for the rhetorical questions, I do agree there are a lot of them but it's not bad for 20 minutes work and ten minutes of research!
I'm still completley confused as to how pubic lice get into your eyelashes and eyebrows
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Andrew_S
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(Original post by Danithestudent)
Thank you! I'm awful when I type my grammar goes to pot! And as for the rhetorical questions, I do agree there are a lot of them but it's not bad for 20 minutes work and ten minutes of research!
I'm still completley confused as to how pubic lice get into your eyelashes and eyebrows
For 20 minutes work and ten minutes research that's undoubtedly impressive. Takes me much longer to write articles for my school website and there are loads more mistakes in them, but once you've spent ages writing, you can easily overlook a mistake here and there and ultimately not care!
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