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Problem with my flat mates watch

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    If you change accommodation, the same thing may happen again. I suggest talking it through with them first, youv got nothing to lose Do you have other friends in other places? That you can talk to?
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    I think that should be a worst case scenario. It takes a lot of effort to move all of your things. If it really is bothering you then...hmmm...I don't want to suggest because I am not completely aware of your situation. I can't remember what I said before but I think that your idea on not talking about the problem again is a good one. I reckon you should buy more oil and give it to her with nobody around. Unless she is a complete b****, (in which case don't bother making an effort with her,) she will thank you. Personally I prefer it when people ask to use my stuff but that is something you can't change now. She may even say, "I'm just annoyed that all my stuff is going missing," and at that point you can tell her it was only her oil that you used.

    Then go for the "Hi hows it going?" approach, and generally smile and be friendly. If you act like that your roomies have no need to hold anything against you as you are genuinly being nice.

    Then after a week suggest to them that you want to go to the pub and would they like to join you. I suppose this idea could be a bit risky but I reckon the situation would have to be increaibly bad for you not do try this.

    I hope this get better for you and that you becom a little happier in the next few weeks.
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    This has to be about more than a bit of oil... are you sure you havent done anything else to provoke them? (Maybe you could ask the one you get on best with whats going on?)
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    Tell her to grow up she isn't in nursery and if you're going to share a flat she should have made it clear that she doesn't want her things shared, but isn't sharing a flat means soemtines sharing things????
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    A war over oil.

    seems to be happening alot.
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    I'm still having trouble getting my head around the fact that some bird has had a para over a drop of olive oil!!
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    (Original post by Adam83)
    A war over oil.

    seems to be happening alot.
    Lol.
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    Word - Good joke man {claps}
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    Dont buy her another bottle if you only used a bit. only buy her another one if youve used loads of it or used the last bit. always ask before you use peoples stuff. i think this girl is overreacting a lot. we usually buy things like olive oil, butter, milk, bread etc together as everyone uses it.
    try talking to one of them about it, but if you are really unhappy living there and things dont get any better you can change accommodation, but id use this as a last resort.
    I find when you live people you tend to argue with them more over silly things as youre always around them. you should have seen the arguments we had last year! usually they resolve themselves, given a bit of time. but it is horrible living with people you dont get on with.
    Try getting to know a few people on your course, and going out with them, but dont invite your flatmates!
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    (Original post by Adam83)
    A war over oil.

    seems to be happening alot.
    My, you wit!

    repped.
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    Share and share alike, I say.
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    I think you need to bite the bullet and firstly talk to her and then the rest of your flatmates. Was it her last bit of oil you used? Cause although it seems petty I can imagine it'd be pretty annoying if you went into the kitchen ready to cook some food and you've got no oil. If not, then perhaps she was having an off day and now a mountain has been made out of a mole hill.

    None of you are mindreaders and the longer this is left then the worse it's gonna get. So I think you should just take a deep breathe and talk to them about it. If they turn around then and be arsey, then maybe you have a real problem. I know it's hard when you're shy (I'm pretty reserved myself) but sometimes you just have to do these things.

    Tip - don't get your Mum to come down and have a go at them. Seriously, my housemate did that last week because she felt like my friend and I were leaving her out (which was unintentional, we always ask her to come out with us etc). Having a lecture off someone's Mum when you're 20 and 21 yourselves is not a good way to sort things out.
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    If you have the kinds of friends that you miss when youre not with then try to have them round as often as possible. I'm sorry for your problem
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    (Original post by -Emmz-)
    Tip - don't get your Mum to come down and have a go at them. Seriously, my housemate did that last week because she felt like my friend and I were leaving her out (which was unintentional, we always ask her to come out with us etc). Having a lecture off someone's Mum when you're 20 and 21 yourselves is not a good way to sort things out.
    Haha, how did that one turn out then?
    That's really very rude actually, I hope the mum was nice about it afterwards. I don't think I'd like a person's parents if they were like that, and I'd probably make that fact known...
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    Well it's still in progress because she's gone home for a week now.
    I was completely gobsmacked when I walked into our living room and saw her Mum sitting there, who then launched attack on my friend and I. And, I know it's maternal instinct to protect your own, but she wouldn't accept that there's two sides to every story, that we were all to 'blame' ... cause friendship is a two way thing.
    It was just really shocking because we've never been nasty to her or done anything on purpose to leave her out, and all she had to do was say something to us. She is a shy girl but we're adults and we need to start learning how to help ourselves, not dragging our parents in when it could have been sorted out easily.
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    Buy new oil - leave a note on it in the kitchen aplogising so everyone else knows you did that too, so can't use that against you.

    Then get over it, and they will have to as well - just be friendly and normal and never mention it again.

    Problem with first year at uni is that everyone is (deep down) so desperately scared of being left on their own, that cliques form so quickly and people cling together in them for security. Relax, it will sort itself out

    If it doesn't, they really are losers and you're better off anyway, get some new friends, people on your course or something.

    Hope you feel ok, uni is scary at first
 
 
 
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