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Divorce

hey everyone,

my friends parents are about to get divorced.

can anyone who has had any experience with divorce please tell me what i should do? how i can help? how hard it is?

thanks.

Reply 1

Talya

16

Shouldn't be too bad if he's 18. It'd be a lot worse if he was, like, 10.

Reply 2

jayne87

8

nah i think it will still be bad no matter what the age... its bound to have a big impact on his life

Reply 3

clomoo

2

I don't think there's exactly anything you can say, just be there for him-a shoulder to cry on etc. Also if he's up to take him out to cheer him up. It'll take quite a long time for him to get used to it, but it's just something he'll have to sort out in his own time and within his self.

Reply 4

Steph!

13

clomoo

I don't think there's exactly anything you can say, just be there for him-a shoulder to cry on etc. Also if he's up to take him out to cheer him up. It'll take quite a long time for him to get used to it, but it's just something he'll have to sort out in his own time and within his self.

Yeah, agreed

Reply 5

Timothy

Well I don't think you should give much advice, as you don't know exactly what he's thinking, it is a confusing time for a person, no matter how old they are. Thinking if it is the right thing for them to do, thinking they would be happier etc.

Just be there for him as said above, that's all you can do.

Reply 6

qwerty_st/n

11

clomoo

I don't think there's exactly anything you can say, just be there for him-a shoulder to cry on etc. Also if he's up to take him out to cheer him up. It'll take quite a long time for him to get used to it, but it's just something he'll have to sort out in his own time and within his self.

as well as being there for him, keep an eye on him, dont let him slip into doing something that is unusual for him, you know him better than anyone else so you would know if he was behaving in a way that he wouldnt usually

i say that because i know some people who sunk into drug/drink addiction amongst other things after their parents divorced. im not saying that your friend will, but like i said, just keep an eye on him and look out for him

Reply 7

dogtanian

16

My parents separated recently. I dunno, i'm just getting on with it.

Don't make a huge deal of it, but be there for him if he looks low.

Reply 8

Timothy

Yeh, just be there if he asks, don't force yourself on them and make him tell you about it etc. That's what helps.

Reply 9

groovy_moose

1

My parents separated recently. I dunno, i'm just getting on with it.

And me, i don't really know what i think about it, and really just carry on. As far as i'm concerned, if they don't want to be together, then i'd rather they weren't - so much less tension in the air that way...

I don't think there's really anything you can do for yor friend, except be a friend and be around. He probably doesn't know what to think right now, and it'll probably take a while for him to work it out.

Reply 10

Timothy

groovy_moose

And me, i don't really know what i think about it, and really just carry on. As far as i'm concerned, if they don't want to be together, then i'd rather they weren't - so much less tension in the air that way...

Yeh its easier if they do what makes them happier I find, no matter how hard it was/is for me.

Reply 11

wisecracker

Literally all you can do is be there for him.

I went through this and I needed my friends because sometimes things happen and you get over them and then something else can knock you off your feet again. Divorces are horrible things for everybody involved especially because there's no forecasting what will happen along the way.

It may be that he has highs and lows and at some point he may get on your nerves because he's apparently just not getting over it. But you've just got to be there because you probably never know the full story.

There's no quick fix and no 'just get over it'. Anyone who thinks that, great for you, but some people take a long time to get through this sort of upheaval and sometimes a good friend is just what you need to turn a corner.

Hope this helps!

Reply 12

falls_whisper

14

Again, all good advice above (restoring my confidence in TSR haha) :smile:

Be there for him, tell him if he needs to talk, you will be more than willing to listen (and say it in a way he knows you mean it - I never believed people when they said this). To be honest, even though he may feel like letting it out sometimes, it's likely that most of the time he just wants to forget. So go out with him, watch films, do something fun together to make him remember that life is still enjoyable... and that there is happiness at the end of the tunnel.

It's a really horrible time, and to be honest, I think any age between 13-18 is the worst, it's the time you're changing/discovering yourself and is so vulnerable to outside influences... My parents' separation hit me hard, but in a way which is completely quiet and unnoticeable - even to myself! I've slipped off the rails a few times and done things I seriously regret now because I closed myself off, and I wish someone had been there to keep me on track :frown:

It's very important to let him know there are people who care about him, and just want to be there if he needs it.

Gosh, I've written an essay, but as someone who's still going through a long, drawn-out divorce, this is what I would want my friends to do :smile:

He is very lucky to have a friend who cares about him.

Divorce

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