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An Epic and True University Love Story
Firstly, this is a VERY long story- but I hope you’ll have the patience to read it. You might even find it entertaining, who knows! 
All of it is completely true though, and I would like to know what you think- here goes:
In my first year at uni, I met this girl and we really hit it off. It didn't take me long to decide that I really liked her, however she had a boyfriend at home so asking her out was out of the question. As the year went on we became closer and closer and eventually became best friends- we used to hang out together all the time and occasionally going out to bars and clubs together (usually with a group and not just the two of us) During this time my feelings for this girl became stronger and stronger and I became convinced that she was the one- we never argued, we had a lot in common, we made each other laugh...
Eventually she broke up with her boyfriend at home- and the first thing she did was come round to my flat. She was really upset, was crying a lot and although as her best friend my first concern was that she was OK- I started to consider asking her out, but decided against doing it so soon since she was so upset.
Over the summer we didn't see much of each other since we live far apart, but we still kept in touch and I decided that when we got back to uni I would be brave and tell her how I felt.
We got back to uni and I finally plucked up the courage and told her how I felt- I was kind of expecting her to say no, and I turned out to be right. She seemed a little upset and just said that she cared about me so much but didn't feel the same way. Needless to say I was gutted, but I was glad that I still had her as a best friend.
Two days later, we were out with a group of my flatmates and she ended up kissing one of them- the day after they started visiting each other and then before I knew it, they were officially going out. I felt so devastated and so angry. I'd lived with her new boyfriend for over a year, he used to be a good friend of mine. He knew full well how I felt about her, and I felt so let down by him I haven’t talked to him since.
I still tried spending time with the girl since this happened- she was great making time for me, and she made sure that they're not couply when around me which was really thoughtful. She knew that I was miserable about the whole situation, but I was still getting really upset and after advice thought it was better that we spend some time apart so I could maybe try and get over her.
So I did this- I didn't go out at all with my group of friends, I made an effort not to see her when possible- then....
4 months ago...
She was round at my flat one night, going out with a group of my flatmates- I just stayed in my room, but then she came and found me. She was quite drunk, but she started talking about how unhappy I'd been and how unhappy that made her- before I knew it she was in floods of tears on my shoulder saying how she feels as if everything’s ruined between us and she feels responsible.
I made it clear that just because I wasn't talking to her boyfriend didn't mean that we couldn't be friends, although I couldn't lie to her and pretend I hadn't been really unhappy about it- and she was still upset and started saying how much I meant to her and how much she cared. We both had a bit of a talk and cry and she ended by saying "You know I love you so much", to which I automatically replied "I love you too". Before I knew it she was kissing me- although it lasted all of 2 seconds because automatically I pulled away, a bit shocked.
We’ve never made reference to that kiss since then, mostly because I didn’t want her boyfriend to find out- and I genuinely think to this day that she doesn’t even remember doing it.
2 months ago…
Not long after the start of term, they broke up. I tried to feel sympathetic, but I can’t lie, I was unbelievably relieved- plainly they weren’t right for each other. Anyway, my flatmate ruined the relationship and acted so terribly towards my friend after it ended that his friendship with me is now non-existent, and isn’t likely to come back.
My friend was quite upset about the breakup at first, but wasn’t nearly as bothered about it as she had been about her first boyfriend.
1 month ago…
Things had returned back to normal between me and my friend- I’d even managed to move on and get over the romantic feelings I had for her- when one night we’re out in a club, both a little drunk and suddenly we’re kissing. Now this time it’s not just her attacking me and me pulling away, we’re giving it our all for a LONG time :P After that I start to maybe think that she’s starting to get the feelings for me which I had for her all that time ago, but I’d learnt not to get my hopes up.
A few nights later, and again slightly drunk she starts talking to me about how she feels. She confesses that she does have feelings for me, she could even see herself marrying me- but she’s scared of ruining our friendship and she feels as if she’s not ready for a serious relationship for a couple of years. As much as I felt quite happy that she’d said this, it felt a bit bittersweet- it’s like she expects me to wait for her?
Since this she’s started to date other people and things seem to have got back to normal, is she leading me on? Should I just forget her? Or should I be patient and wait? I’ve so many questions, but I’d like to know what you think. Thanks for having the patience to read the whole of this: now I’m ready to hear from you!
All of it is completely true though, and I would like to know what you think- here goes:In my first year at uni, I met this girl and we really hit it off. It didn't take me long to decide that I really liked her, however she had a boyfriend at home so asking her out was out of the question. As the year went on we became closer and closer and eventually became best friends- we used to hang out together all the time and occasionally going out to bars and clubs together (usually with a group and not just the two of us) During this time my feelings for this girl became stronger and stronger and I became convinced that she was the one- we never argued, we had a lot in common, we made each other laugh...
Eventually she broke up with her boyfriend at home- and the first thing she did was come round to my flat. She was really upset, was crying a lot and although as her best friend my first concern was that she was OK- I started to consider asking her out, but decided against doing it so soon since she was so upset.
Over the summer we didn't see much of each other since we live far apart, but we still kept in touch and I decided that when we got back to uni I would be brave and tell her how I felt.
We got back to uni and I finally plucked up the courage and told her how I felt- I was kind of expecting her to say no, and I turned out to be right. She seemed a little upset and just said that she cared about me so much but didn't feel the same way. Needless to say I was gutted, but I was glad that I still had her as a best friend.
Two days later, we were out with a group of my flatmates and she ended up kissing one of them- the day after they started visiting each other and then before I knew it, they were officially going out. I felt so devastated and so angry. I'd lived with her new boyfriend for over a year, he used to be a good friend of mine. He knew full well how I felt about her, and I felt so let down by him I haven’t talked to him since.
I still tried spending time with the girl since this happened- she was great making time for me, and she made sure that they're not couply when around me which was really thoughtful. She knew that I was miserable about the whole situation, but I was still getting really upset and after advice thought it was better that we spend some time apart so I could maybe try and get over her.
So I did this- I didn't go out at all with my group of friends, I made an effort not to see her when possible- then....
4 months ago...
She was round at my flat one night, going out with a group of my flatmates- I just stayed in my room, but then she came and found me. She was quite drunk, but she started talking about how unhappy I'd been and how unhappy that made her- before I knew it she was in floods of tears on my shoulder saying how she feels as if everything’s ruined between us and she feels responsible.
I made it clear that just because I wasn't talking to her boyfriend didn't mean that we couldn't be friends, although I couldn't lie to her and pretend I hadn't been really unhappy about it- and she was still upset and started saying how much I meant to her and how much she cared. We both had a bit of a talk and cry and she ended by saying "You know I love you so much", to which I automatically replied "I love you too". Before I knew it she was kissing me- although it lasted all of 2 seconds because automatically I pulled away, a bit shocked.
We’ve never made reference to that kiss since then, mostly because I didn’t want her boyfriend to find out- and I genuinely think to this day that she doesn’t even remember doing it.
2 months ago…
Not long after the start of term, they broke up. I tried to feel sympathetic, but I can’t lie, I was unbelievably relieved- plainly they weren’t right for each other. Anyway, my flatmate ruined the relationship and acted so terribly towards my friend after it ended that his friendship with me is now non-existent, and isn’t likely to come back.
My friend was quite upset about the breakup at first, but wasn’t nearly as bothered about it as she had been about her first boyfriend.
1 month ago…
Things had returned back to normal between me and my friend- I’d even managed to move on and get over the romantic feelings I had for her- when one night we’re out in a club, both a little drunk and suddenly we’re kissing. Now this time it’s not just her attacking me and me pulling away, we’re giving it our all for a LONG time :P After that I start to maybe think that she’s starting to get the feelings for me which I had for her all that time ago, but I’d learnt not to get my hopes up.
A few nights later, and again slightly drunk she starts talking to me about how she feels. She confesses that she does have feelings for me, she could even see herself marrying me- but she’s scared of ruining our friendship and she feels as if she’s not ready for a serious relationship for a couple of years. As much as I felt quite happy that she’d said this, it felt a bit bittersweet- it’s like she expects me to wait for her?
Since this she’s started to date other people and things seem to have got back to normal, is she leading me on? Should I just forget her? Or should I be patient and wait? I’ve so many questions, but I’d like to know what you think. Thanks for having the patience to read the whole of this: now I’m ready to hear from you!
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I think you need to talk to her about it so that you can find out where you stand. She's told you she likes you, yet she's not ready for another relationship, then dates other people? It seems to me that you need to find out, for your own sanity, what it is she really wants. If she doesn't want to be with you, your friendship can continue and you can try and move on like you were. It's not fair on you how she's left it, I really think you just need to ask her what she really wants from you. Hope it goes okay!
Like the other guy said, lapdog!
If she really liked you, cared you and wanted to be with you, she wouldn't be dating other guys. She's leading you on and keeping you there as insurance. You sound like a really nice guy who didn't act creepy and dicky over the whole other boy fiasco, you deserve someone who treats you better.
If she really liked you, cared you and wanted to be with you, she wouldn't be dating other guys. She's leading you on and keeping you there as insurance. You sound like a really nice guy who didn't act creepy and dicky over the whole other boy fiasco, you deserve someone who treats you better.
She likes your devotion and admiration. It makes her feel special and beautiful. At the same time, it's making you feel awful. However much she cries and says she feels responsible, her actions are selfish, and not the actions of a true friend.
She needs to stop drinking and then throwing herself on you whenever she wants to feel she has an effect on men. She also needs to stop hopping from relationship to relationship, using you as support.
I think you should tell her all that. Remember that no matter how much you care about her, she's being unfair.
She needs to stop drinking and then throwing herself on you whenever she wants to feel she has an effect on men. She also needs to stop hopping from relationship to relationship, using you as support.
I think you should tell her all that. Remember that no matter how much you care about her, she's being unfair.
You're her fall back guy. Don't take this. She's not the girl for you if this is how she treats you. Do yourself a favour and move on, or its going to be a few more years of jealously and hurt, with the slim possibility of a relationship with a girl who has no qualms about messing you around ridiculously.
So the common factor is.....she loves you and think you're special when she's completely off her tits?
I hate to crush your dreams, but this isn't a love story- you need someone to love you all of the time, through the good times and the bad...not after a few too many JDs and cokes. She's just playing the drunk chick who wants a cuddle, and she knows full well that you'll give her just that.
MOVE ON.
I hate to crush your dreams, but this isn't a love story- you need someone to love you all of the time, through the good times and the bad...not after a few too many JDs and cokes. She's just playing the drunk chick who wants a cuddle, and she knows full well that you'll give her just that.
MOVE ON.
Oh man you sound annoying
She sounds like a slut to be honest, how can she just go out with your best friend straight away as she found out you liked her that much. She seems to be leading you on, and that was mainly ebcause you are so desperate for her. I was in the same situation before, and what I did was just moving on. Acted like I didn't feel the same way as I did to her before, and see how she reacts... You will never know, she might go out with a new guy if you did that, or else if she really loves you she would try to get you back.
She sounds like a bitch... :P ... Move on. Please...I am begging you...I am a girl and brave enough to say that a lot of girls do that jsut to feel better for themselves cos there are always one person who will be there for her. But sh ehas no right to keep messing about with your feeling.
She sounds like a bitch... :P ... Move on. Please...I am begging you...I am a girl and brave enough to say that a lot of girls do that jsut to feel better for themselves cos there are always one person who will be there for her. But sh ehas no right to keep messing about with your feeling.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by urmyeah
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....
Hope it all works out for you
Hope it all works out for you
Thanks
Original post by Leahcar
She's your lobster! 
I honestly believe that too!
Original post by lechaton-x
So the common factor is.....she loves you and think you're special when she's completely off her tits?
I hate to crush your dreams, but this isn't a love story- you need someone to love you all of the time, through the good times and the bad...not after a few too many JDs and cokes. She's just playing the drunk chick who wants a cuddle, and she knows full well that you'll give her just that.
I hate to crush your dreams, but this isn't a love story- you need someone to love you all of the time, through the good times and the bad...not after a few too many JDs and cokes. She's just playing the drunk chick who wants a cuddle, and she knows full well that you'll give her just that.
OK it's not just like she only acts affectionately whilst drunk, we're dead close anyway- people actually often assume we're a couple when they meet us. And she's actually said to other people (whilst sober) the same thing as she said to me, so it's not purely the drink talking.
Original post by cottonheart
Oh man you sound annoying
Thanks
Original post by lechaton-x
So the common factor is.....she loves you and think you're special when she's completely off her tits?
To be fair, I know she's said the same thing to her friends whilst sober- so it's not just the drink talking. I think the drink just gives her the courage to say it in front of me.
Original post by Anonymous
To be fair, I know she's said the same thing to her friends whilst sober- so it's not just the drink talking. I think the drink just gives her the courage to say it in front of me.
Then why isn't she going out with you? She certainly has the balls to go out on dates with other people. And as we know, she knows you're going to respond because you HAVE declared your love for her- so why would she need courage anyway? It's not like she's going to get rejected.
Sorry if I'm being harsh, but it doesn't add up- and I hate to see people getting used.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by Leahcar
She's your lobster!
I've just been watching that episode of Friends
Original post by lechaton-x
Then why isn't she going out with you? She certainly has the balls to go out on dates with other people. And as we know, she knows you're going to respond because you HAVE declared your love for her- so why would she need courage anyway? It's not like she's going to get rejected.
Sorry if I'm being harsh, but it doesn't add up- and I hate to see people getting used.
Sorry if I'm being harsh, but it doesn't add up- and I hate to see people getting used.
Very well said. I agree with everything in your comment. But love blinds people, so it's all up to the OP to decide what to do. I hope he will do the best thing.
HAAHAHAHAHAH she's playing you man find someone else..
Original post by vpsycho
Honestly? She's making you her lapdog. Being in love doesn't mean throwing away your dignity. Forget about her and move on, she just sees you as a fall-back guy.
^^^^^
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