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    Tomorrow I am going to dump the third guy in the past six months who has messed me around. And when I say messed me around I mean got with me, told me he liked me, then ignored me/got with other women, and then came back again, so we were going in circles.

    Now I'm fairly new to the dating scene and I'm just wondering what I'm doing wrong. I have a lot of guy friends who are perfect gentlemen, so I know nice guys are out there, I just must be giving off the wrong vibe. Guys, is there anything that a girl could do to attract the 'wrong' sort of man? Bearing in mind I do go clubbing, but I don't feel that I dress immodestly or anything...
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    If you were actually going out with him, then I could see a problem. As it is, he has no commitment to you outside of a relationship so unfortunately he can get with whoever he wants. You shouldve told him no the first time he strayed/tried to get back in your good books. Just letting him walk in and out of your life whenever he want to is gonna make him realise that he can get away with using you as a doormat.
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    Do you take your time before you 'go out' with them?
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    It sounds like you made out with them and thought that was a relationship?


    If only life were so simple. :rolleyes:
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    I'm sorry to hear it. This might seem like excessive advice based on your short post but I hope it will help you somehow.

    Remember: your vibes are not the one in the relationship, you are!
    I suggest that you try something new and date one of those 'perfect gentlemen' you were talking about? Einstein called insanity 'doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.'

    So in short: change the sort of guy you date, not yourself.
    There isn't such a thing as risk free dating. Take an actual risk on somebody who you know genuinely cares about you. The genuine nice guys aren't nice because they're scared or harmless; you might find it's because they have the guts to care. Giving somebody like that a chance might be frightening because you could potentially hurt them- eventually you'll come to learn that risk is always involved. It's worth noticing that a fear like this destroys chemistry; which reinforces a belief that nice guys are unable to be good partners. Also everybody has had a relationship with somebody nice which they regret. If your history is anything like the average- try asking yourself why you would be willing to try 10 relationships with the same type of guy but abandon the 'nice guy' type after one (probably half-hearted) attempt? Fear perhaps?

    If you know somebody who fits this picture (bearing in mind that even nice guys screw too sometimes) give them the credit to be able to knowingly take their own risky decisions about you. Respect their ability to deal with you screwing a relationship up. Respect somebody capable like that and you might find you get some respect back. What the hell, you might get what you actually want deep down from a guy.

    -love anon


    p.s. I know this was a list of sweeping generalisations but I don't think internet advice comes in any other form. So don't take it too personally :P


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Tomorrow I am going to dump the third guy in the past six months who has messed me around. And when I say messed me around I mean got with me, told me he liked me, then ignored me/got with other women, and then came back again, so we were going in circles.

    Now I'm fairly new to the dating scene and I'm just wondering what I'm doing wrong. I have a lot of guy friends who are perfect gentlemen, so I know nice guys are out there, I just must be giving off the wrong vibe. Guys, is there anything that a girl could do to attract the 'wrong' sort of man? Bearing in mind I do go clubbing, but I don't feel that I dress immodestly or anything...
 
 
 
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