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How Should I Approach This?...
I'll try and keep this brief. I got back with my ex nearly two months ago, we'll have been together a year in January. Admitedly, there is an age gap, i'm 19 and he turned 27 yesterday.
The problem lies with his attitude. Although this is quite embarassing, i'm not actually sure whether he is my boyfriend, as he never asked and strangely the subject has never really been raised. WE have quite a volatile relationship. We're both fairly argumentative and our arguments always get quite heated despite the fact they're never about anything serious. Until I recently moved to Oxford to go to Uni, we lived in the same area. I always used to go to visit him, he's never actualy been to my house. WE got in contact again through my actions. My mum died six weeks ago and I contacted him the same day, as there wasn't anyone else that I wanted to be around at the time. He was sweet and really lifted me, and we consequently got talking again. THings just got going again as if we'd never broke up. He's been up to visit me twice and i've been to see him three times when i'm home, so admittedly we dont see a lot of one another.
My problem is that he's never enthusiastic about anything. His idea of being affectionate (I presume that's what he's doing!)is to insult me and generally never say anything that would make me feel good. He'll watch TV when he visits me and literall not say a word. When I do try and talk to him, he'll keep it very brief. Of course, we can talk for hours about him. I think that's just how he is, as he'll always, without fail send me a text saying he had a good weekend and it was good to see me.
I feel as though i'm not really getting to the point here, but it's difficult to put into words. Surely after nearly a year I can expect him to seem a little more enthusiastic. I've never met his mum, despite the fact that he alsways goes to hers for dinner on a sunday and i've often stayed round his on a saturday night. He only ever puts one tiny little 'x' at the end of his texts which frustrates me!
Yesterday was his birthday, and I really made an effort to get him something special, despite being broke! I didnt see him over the weekend so I gave it to him on thursday. I didnt even get a thankyou. he went to his mums yesterday and went out with his friends the night before. He was really hungover and moody, and also rude when i phoned to wish him a happy birthday, and i generally felt upset, but he told me that he'd been like that with everybody.
He sent me a text message last week saying: "I think the world of you but why do we piss each other off?". i suggested that we should maybe leave it and he didnt reply. He sent me a text the following day asking what i was doing, so he completely evaded the question.
Maybe i'm a little sensitive at the moment, but i cant help but notice how lovely all my girlfriends get treated by their boyfriends and cant help but wonder what i'm doing wrong. I'm not a complete idiot; I dont expect to be treated like a queen but surely the point of a relationship is to be a little affectionate with someone?
For the record, and I know it's wrong, but I often check his texts and there's never anything suspicious, and he displays no signs of playing around etc.
He started a new job today, so I might call him this evening to see how he dot on, despite last nights call.
So, what should i do/say when I call, which will be at about 6? Would be really grateful for any advice. Thanks in advance. x x
The problem lies with his attitude. Although this is quite embarassing, i'm not actually sure whether he is my boyfriend, as he never asked and strangely the subject has never really been raised. WE have quite a volatile relationship. We're both fairly argumentative and our arguments always get quite heated despite the fact they're never about anything serious. Until I recently moved to Oxford to go to Uni, we lived in the same area. I always used to go to visit him, he's never actualy been to my house. WE got in contact again through my actions. My mum died six weeks ago and I contacted him the same day, as there wasn't anyone else that I wanted to be around at the time. He was sweet and really lifted me, and we consequently got talking again. THings just got going again as if we'd never broke up. He's been up to visit me twice and i've been to see him three times when i'm home, so admittedly we dont see a lot of one another.
My problem is that he's never enthusiastic about anything. His idea of being affectionate (I presume that's what he's doing!)is to insult me and generally never say anything that would make me feel good. He'll watch TV when he visits me and literall not say a word. When I do try and talk to him, he'll keep it very brief. Of course, we can talk for hours about him. I think that's just how he is, as he'll always, without fail send me a text saying he had a good weekend and it was good to see me.
I feel as though i'm not really getting to the point here, but it's difficult to put into words. Surely after nearly a year I can expect him to seem a little more enthusiastic. I've never met his mum, despite the fact that he alsways goes to hers for dinner on a sunday and i've often stayed round his on a saturday night. He only ever puts one tiny little 'x' at the end of his texts which frustrates me!
Yesterday was his birthday, and I really made an effort to get him something special, despite being broke! I didnt see him over the weekend so I gave it to him on thursday. I didnt even get a thankyou. he went to his mums yesterday and went out with his friends the night before. He was really hungover and moody, and also rude when i phoned to wish him a happy birthday, and i generally felt upset, but he told me that he'd been like that with everybody.
He sent me a text message last week saying: "I think the world of you but why do we piss each other off?". i suggested that we should maybe leave it and he didnt reply. He sent me a text the following day asking what i was doing, so he completely evaded the question.
Maybe i'm a little sensitive at the moment, but i cant help but notice how lovely all my girlfriends get treated by their boyfriends and cant help but wonder what i'm doing wrong. I'm not a complete idiot; I dont expect to be treated like a queen but surely the point of a relationship is to be a little affectionate with someone?
For the record, and I know it's wrong, but I often check his texts and there's never anything suspicious, and he displays no signs of playing around etc.
He started a new job today, so I might call him this evening to see how he dot on, despite last nights call.
So, what should i do/say when I call, which will be at about 6? Would be really grateful for any advice. Thanks in advance. x x
Firstly, you need to try and explain to him how you feel- neglected, it seems to me, and a little shunned because you haven't met his mother even though you've been together a year.
If he gets angry or abusive about this, then I agree with the above poster- end it. He is a lot older than you, which isn't always a problem, but there is a big difference between the mind of a 19 year old and that of a 27 year old. It's a difficult situation to be in.
You're obviously feeling very sensitive right now- maybe you should try and sort this once you've cleared your head a little and things have settled down.
I hope I've helped in some way, although I fear I haven't really.
If he gets angry or abusive about this, then I agree with the above poster- end it. He is a lot older than you, which isn't always a problem, but there is a big difference between the mind of a 19 year old and that of a 27 year old. It's a difficult situation to be in.
You're obviously feeling very sensitive right now- maybe you should try and sort this once you've cleared your head a little and things have settled down.
I hope I've helped in some way, although I fear I haven't really.
Yeah, I'm sorry, and I know you probably don't want to hear this, but there are so many people who are more deserving of you, even if he was nice when your mum died ( 
), he should be much nicer to you. Have you spoken to it? If so and nothing has changed I think you should forget about him and move onto someone who willl appreciate you more.
), he should be much nicer to you. Have you spoken to it? If so and nothing has changed I think you should forget about him and move onto someone who willl appreciate you more.Reply 4
it sounds like this guy does like you but he seems to want everything in his favour, and is only interested in a relationship on his terms.. its easy to become dependent on someone when they supported you through difficult times, but it seems like he is too apathetic and self centrerd to make a real effort... unless he changes his attitude which doesn't seem likely - i think i would try talk to him about these problems and if you don't feel you are getting anywhere, breaking up could be the best solution
Sounds like he has trouble caring about other people, the emotions are probably there but hidden. Maybe he suffered alot of abuse at some point in his life and it has all built up and he is still hiding it.
Theres not alot you can do but just try talking saying how you feel, that might help. Even if he reacts badly at first.
To me it sounds like some problems are hidden inside.
Theres not alot you can do but just try talking saying how you feel, that might help. Even if he reacts badly at first.
To me it sounds like some problems are hidden inside.
kimberley1987
I'll try and keep this brief. I got back with my ex nearly two months ago, we'll have been together a year in January. Admitedly, there is an age gap, i'm 19 and he turned 27 yesterday.
The problem lies with his attitude. Although this is quite embarassing, i'm not actually sure whether he is my boyfriend, as he never asked and strangely the subject has never really been raised. WE have quite a volatile relationship. We're both fairly argumentative and our arguments always get quite heated despite the fact they're never about anything serious. Until I recently moved to Oxford to go to Uni, we lived in the same area. I always used to go to visit him, he's never actualy been to my house. WE got in contact again through my actions. My mum died six weeks ago and I contacted him the same day, as there wasn't anyone else that I wanted to be around at the time. He was sweet and really lifted me, and we consequently got talking again. THings just got going again as if we'd never broke up. He's been up to visit me twice and i've been to see him three times when i'm home, so admittedly we dont see a lot of one another.
My problem is that he's never enthusiastic about anything. His idea of being affectionate (I presume that's what he's doing!)is to insult me and generally never say anything that would make me feel good. He'll watch TV when he visits me and literall not say a word. When I do try and talk to him, he'll keep it very brief. Of course, we can talk for hours about him. I think that's just how he is, as he'll always, without fail send me a text saying he had a good weekend and it was good to see me.
I feel as though i'm not really getting to the point here, but it's difficult to put into words. Surely after nearly a year I can expect him to seem a little more enthusiastic. I've never met his mum, despite the fact that he alsways goes to hers for dinner on a sunday and i've often stayed round his on a saturday night. He only ever puts one tiny little 'x' at the end of his texts which frustrates me!
Yesterday was his birthday, and I really made an effort to get him something special, despite being broke! I didnt see him over the weekend so I gave it to him on thursday. I didnt even get a thankyou. he went to his mums yesterday and went out with his friends the night before. He was really hungover and moody, and also rude when i phoned to wish him a happy birthday, and i generally felt upset, but he told me that he'd been like that with everybody.
He sent me a text message last week saying: "I think the world of you but why do we piss each other off?". i suggested that we should maybe leave it and he didnt reply. He sent me a text the following day asking what i was doing, so he completely evaded the question.
Maybe i'm a little sensitive at the moment, but i cant help but notice how lovely all my girlfriends get treated by their boyfriends and cant help but wonder what i'm doing wrong. I'm not a complete idiot; I dont expect to be treated like a queen but surely the point of a relationship is to be a little affectionate with someone?
For the record, and I know it's wrong, but I often check his texts and there's never anything suspicious, and he displays no signs of playing around etc.
He started a new job today, so I might call him this evening to see how he dot on, despite last nights call.
So, what should i do/say when I call, which will be at about 6? Would be really grateful for any advice. Thanks in advance. x x
The problem lies with his attitude. Although this is quite embarassing, i'm not actually sure whether he is my boyfriend, as he never asked and strangely the subject has never really been raised. WE have quite a volatile relationship. We're both fairly argumentative and our arguments always get quite heated despite the fact they're never about anything serious. Until I recently moved to Oxford to go to Uni, we lived in the same area. I always used to go to visit him, he's never actualy been to my house. WE got in contact again through my actions. My mum died six weeks ago and I contacted him the same day, as there wasn't anyone else that I wanted to be around at the time. He was sweet and really lifted me, and we consequently got talking again. THings just got going again as if we'd never broke up. He's been up to visit me twice and i've been to see him three times when i'm home, so admittedly we dont see a lot of one another.
My problem is that he's never enthusiastic about anything. His idea of being affectionate (I presume that's what he's doing!)is to insult me and generally never say anything that would make me feel good. He'll watch TV when he visits me and literall not say a word. When I do try and talk to him, he'll keep it very brief. Of course, we can talk for hours about him. I think that's just how he is, as he'll always, without fail send me a text saying he had a good weekend and it was good to see me.
I feel as though i'm not really getting to the point here, but it's difficult to put into words. Surely after nearly a year I can expect him to seem a little more enthusiastic. I've never met his mum, despite the fact that he alsways goes to hers for dinner on a sunday and i've often stayed round his on a saturday night. He only ever puts one tiny little 'x' at the end of his texts which frustrates me!
Yesterday was his birthday, and I really made an effort to get him something special, despite being broke! I didnt see him over the weekend so I gave it to him on thursday. I didnt even get a thankyou. he went to his mums yesterday and went out with his friends the night before. He was really hungover and moody, and also rude when i phoned to wish him a happy birthday, and i generally felt upset, but he told me that he'd been like that with everybody.
He sent me a text message last week saying: "I think the world of you but why do we piss each other off?". i suggested that we should maybe leave it and he didnt reply. He sent me a text the following day asking what i was doing, so he completely evaded the question.
Maybe i'm a little sensitive at the moment, but i cant help but notice how lovely all my girlfriends get treated by their boyfriends and cant help but wonder what i'm doing wrong. I'm not a complete idiot; I dont expect to be treated like a queen but surely the point of a relationship is to be a little affectionate with someone?
For the record, and I know it's wrong, but I often check his texts and there's never anything suspicious, and he displays no signs of playing around etc.
He started a new job today, so I might call him this evening to see how he dot on, despite last nights call.
So, what should i do/say when I call, which will be at about 6? Would be really grateful for any advice. Thanks in advance. x x
If that's brief, I'd hate to see you write stuff out long-hand.
*This post is based purely on the length of the post and on none of its content*
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