Feeling sexy again

Right, this post will probably seem completely random but it's just something that's been bothering me lately. My boyfriend split up with me recently which is probably the reason behind all of this. As much as i am actually over the relationship and realise that i was probably wasting my time on something that wouldnt have worked, i miss a lot of the security and it is suddenly scary to be in the single world again.
Last year i got together with my first boyfriend and while that relationship was good we broke up after about 6 months due to circumstantial problems, i was really down after this and turned to a friend for support who went on to become my boyfriend not too long after ( the one that i have just recently split with ). I spent a very little period of time being single in between and even when i was i always felt somewhat wanted/pretty/fun etc as my friend liked me a lot then which was why we soon became an item. However now that the relationship is over i am officially single for the first time properly in over a year and im finding it strange. i cant help remembering what it used to be like when i was single. I remember it was fun, i enjoyed single life and flirting and the freedom of it. I didnt get around guys cos im not like that, but i knew that quite a few liked me and always felt fun and sexy.
Now however, things have changed, as they do with time. A lot of the people i'm friends with are different and they are more reserved people and dont enjoy having fun in the same ways i do. My best friend is in a serious relationship as are a lot of people around my age. Suddenly single life doesnt seem so attractive. Im too young to go clubbing and pretty much look my age. Im in my last year at school and things seem to becomming so tedious and boring. I long to feel sexy again, and know that people like me, and enjoy the excitment of flirting and partying. I just generally want to have fun in my last year at school. Like i said a lot of the 'group' i am friends with dont approve of things like flirting with people and are quite judgemental, my recent ex is also friends with this group and there is no excitment of new people or a chance to meet anyone to go on dates with. I feel stuck.
I dont want to be remembering how good it was to be in a relationship but its hard to enjoy single life when your one of the only single ones and when you havent been in the single world for a while. I find my self confidence getting a knock and dont feel attractive to people any longer - physically or personality wise. Its hard to meet new people as there dont seem to be any opportunities. I find myself becomming tired of it all and just want some fun.

I know this is a completly random post but any ideas on what i can do to solve my boredom and feelings of unwanted/unattractiveness would be great. i just want to feel fun and sexy again.

Reply 1

Silhouette

princess amy

but yup insecurities can be piss taking
well u gotta positively reinforce ur own way of thinking...if not ur gna give guys the opportuinity to wlk all ova u!!

try a new hair cut cuz it makes u feel 'refreshed' and probably a fitting top and jeans or sumat....

but usually its not always the appearance it is more or less to do with the way u feel inside!!!

dnt go on the rebound!!
try and write lists
good
bad
and put dwn the things u lyke bout urself and elaborate on them .....keep ur chin up girly!! x

Nice reply, I agree with you there.

Reply 2

lauren47

I second princess amy or whatever her name is, lists are the way forward! I am also in my last year at school and have just broken up from a long term relationship -I keep a list of "reasons why he's a w*****" and "reasons why I'm better off without him" which are a source of amusement as well as comfort on those weird Sunday afternoons when you would normally be hanging out with them.
I completely know what you mean about the itchy-footed last year of school syndrome. I feel like I am going to exactly the same parties each weekend and holding the same conversations with exactly the same people. But you'll miss it when it's not there any more .. in the mean time, bring on the kerazy uni antics! There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and my instincts tell me it is a disco light, woo!
And dude, you do not need a guy to tell you how sexy you are. It is not about them, it is about you. I am not suggesting you become an all out burn-your-bra handbag-swatting Germaine Greer type, but let's face facts. We are 17 (or 18?) years of age. We are not 45 year old single mothers are we now. There is a great deal of life in the old dog yet so to speak (please dont take that literally) what I mean to say is - the world is our lobster. And have you any idea how much more fun freshers' week will be without the old ball and chain to think about?!
Breaking up is a bitch. It took me a good two/three months to excrete my ex from my digestive system, but it's all water under the bridge and I've come to realise that whatever anger/sadness/abhorrence i was feeling towards him has been felt by a billion other women.. which makes it less scary somehow! rely on your support network of friends and you will pull through.
And if you should need to have the odd rant, you can PM me!
x x

Reply 3

Steph!

13

Nice post lauren! You're going on my rep list!

To the OP, I agree with eerything lauren47 just said.

Reply 4

mangomaz

14

You're in your last year of school - if you're not young and carefree now when will you be?? Find new friends (not necessarily replacing your current ones, just a new circle) that enjoy going out partying. How can you be too old for clubbing when you're still in school? Party! :biggrin:

Sorry I know not amazing advice but its all about making the effort to find the fun. I should take my own advice too :rolleyes:

Reply 5

Segat1

16

Yeah, I get like this. Sometimes you just feel ERKY. I usually pull myself out of it by pampering myself, having long, luxurious baths with a good book and glass of champers, putting a mask on, hair treatment, getting new undies or new anything for that matter. New perfume helps too!

Go out, not with the intention of finding someone (when you're looking, you never find anyone), just with the intention of having a fab time and tell yourself you look hot. If someone chats you up, then great ! ego boost! If not, stuff it, you're out on the town and can do WHATEVER you want to!

I felt like you about 2 months ago. I'd moved abroad, knew no=one, hated my flatmates. I did the above, stayed in and watched a heap of soppy movies and realised that I was being boring, in a rut etc, went out on a school night (yeah, ok, a work night) wearing dress I hadn't worn in years and got chatted up by a 20 yr old hottie which made me feel soo good, and my confidence went from there.

It will come back, breaking up is a ****.

Reply 6

Little Girl Red

1

I know exactly what you mean about the last year of school and having friends who have slightly different interests to you.
My advice to you is, try joining a club or a society in your area where you will not only find new friends but new things to do!! I joined my Explorer Scouts - sounds geeky, but was AMAZING. I've made my closest friends there, we did so many amazing new things (like climbing, caving, canoeing, shooting, archery etc etc) and I found 3 boyfriends including my current (18 months).
Brilliant fun and the best decision ever!! Get out, do new things, find yourself again, and flirt it up :biggrin:

Reply 7

trixie

9

Oh my gosh, i feel like this! I've been in relationships for a good 3 years, with only a few months between them (3 major relationships) and now I'm single again and finding it so scary! I was just so used to sharing friends with my boyfriend..going everywhere with him. My best friend has changed a lot over the last 2 years and whilst I still love her loads, she never goes out, meaning when I go out now I've had to find a new bunch of people to hang around with. They usually change every time I go out!

Being single helps you get your confidence back...think about it that way.

And if you hear people talking about going out, ask to tag along....yeah you might be embarrassed asking, but that step might lead to you making a bunch of friends who do go out and do the partying, feeling sexy, having fun kinda thing that you want.

x

Reply 8

hippieglitter

19

segat1

Yeah, I get like this. Sometimes you just feel ERKY. I usually pull myself out of it by pampering myself, having long, luxurious baths with a good book and glass of champers, putting a mask on, hair treatment, getting new undies or new anything for that matter. New perfume helps too!

Go out, not with the intention of finding someone (when you're looking, you never find anyone), just with the intention of having a fab time and tell yourself you look hot. If someone chats you up, then great ! ego boost! If not, stuff it, you're out on the town and can do WHATEVER you want to!

I felt like you about 2 months ago. I'd moved abroad, knew no=one, hated my flatmates. I did the above, stayed in and watched a heap of soppy movies and realised that I was being boring, in a rut etc, went out on a school night (yeah, ok, a work night) wearing dress I hadn't worn in years and got chatted up by a 20 yr old hottie which made me feel soo good, and my confidence went from there.

It will come back, breaking up is a ****.

Sorry, this is gonna sound totally pointless. New underwear, always worked for me, if i wasnt feeling sexy. Preferably something lacy, a bit sexy, matching bra and pants.

Feeling sexy again

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