Do I have the right to be depressed? My problems aren't very big!? Watch

Anonymous #1
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I really hate myself. I pretty much fail at everything I do. My life's actually quite good (not bragging). I come from a fairly well-off family, I've got friends etc. But I'm just rubbish at everything, even being a good person. I failed my A-levels, had to repeat them before I could get into University, and now I've failed to get a mandatory work placement, so have to redo another year again. I have friends, but I'm pretty much the clown of the group, but more laughing at me than with me. And I'm 21 and still a virgin, and never had a girlfriend, and the girl I love doesn't even speak to me anymore. I feel depressed, but don't think I have any right to be depressed as there are people who have it a lot worse in this world. But right now I just feel like the worlds biggest failure, and it seems there's nothing I can do about it. I've been applying to do other jobs, but still failed to get them. The fact that I'm from a fairly wealthy family just makes it feel even worse, cos I've had a headstart in life, and still managed to f**k everything up. I go to bed at night wishing I wouldn't wake up, cos I'm too much of a coward to actually kill myself. People say to compare your life to others and you'll that it's not that bad, but the fact that there is loads of problems in the world just makes me want to live in it even less as those people deserve a better life than me cos I'm a t**t. I've just lost all motivation. Last year I was still single, but I was on a good Uni course doing well and chasing after the girl I liked was the biggest motivation in my life, I did it all for her, when I was sad I just kept going cos of the thought I might be with her one day, now there's nothing.
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catjaum
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRLlQU7YWug
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Blueflare
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The definition of clinical depression is essentially being depressed without reason. When you have Depression, it is possible to understand perfectly well how much better off you are than most other people in the world but still be depressed and experience problems such as a lack of motivation and thoughts about death.
You should try and get some counselling.
Also, get someone to look at your CV to see why you're not getting jobs. Depression is very common among people who are unemployed as humans inherently need to feel like they are accomplishing something. You don't have this in your life at the moment so it's understandable that you feel depressed.
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DiZZeeKiD
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That actually made me sad.

Look, you've hit a bad patch, everyone does. All you've got to do is concentrate on what you want from life and how the best way is to get there. It's easy to say "life is hard, and I'm failing because of XYZ". Why don't you say "I want this, and to get this I need to....".

Focusing on the bad things only makes you feel worse about the situation overall. You need to think, despite of all these bad things, I'm still going to succeed because this is something I want from life.

Overall, be optimistic, its just life - don't take it too seriously, you'll never get out alive.
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tehforum
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Then take it from there.

Good luck.
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301lw
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of course you have the right to be depressed, everyone does - you shouldn't think you're a bad person cause you feel sad cause you're not you should work on your self esteem, tell yourself one thing that you like about yourself every day
so what if that girl's not there anymore? your family can be your own motiviation, if you come from a well-off family and your parents want you to have the same wealthy economic status you should push yourself to please them, even if you don't it's not the end of the world
you're not the world's biggest failure, you go to university, you have friends, you have aspirations = the key to success. you're obviously smart enough to go to univeristy, smart enough to do well in life and smart enough to know that everythings gonna be okay. you're a funny guy, like you said you're the clown of the group, not only do you have good social skills but girls love funny guys, soon you'll find a girl who likes your funny personality. you obviously have aspirations, you want to do well in life, you want a job and the only way you'll get it is if you try. never give up.
i wish you the best of luck in everything i hope i've been helpful
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bananabrain
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I really hate myself. I pretty much fail at everything I do. My life's actually quite good (not bragging). I come from a fairly well-off family, I've got friends etc. But I'm just rubbish at everything, even being a good person. I failed my A-levels, had to repeat them before I could get into University, and now I've failed to get a mandatory work placement, so have to redo another year again. I have friends, but I'm pretty much the clown of the group, but more laughing at me than with me. And I'm 21 and still a virgin, and never had a girlfriend, and the girl I love doesn't even speak to me anymore. I feel depressed, but don't think I have any right to be depressed as there are people who have it a lot worse in this world. But right now I just feel like the worlds biggest failure, and it seems there's nothing I can do about it. I've been applying to do other jobs, but still failed to get them. The fact that I'm from a fairly wealthy family just makes it feel even worse, cos I've had a headstart in life, and still managed to f**k everything up. I go to bed at night wishing I wouldn't wake up, cos I'm too much of a coward to actually kill myself. People say to compare your life to others and you'll that it's not that bad, but the fact that there is loads of problems in the world just makes me want to live in it even less as those people deserve a better life than me cos I'm a t**t. I've just lost all motivation. Last year I was still single, but I was on a good Uni course doing well and chasing after the girl I liked was the biggest motivation in my life, I did it all for her, when I was sad I just kept going cos of the thought I might be with her one day, now there's nothing.
Depression doesn't always occur for any good reason. You could be the richest, smartest, person with a beautiful partner and still be depressed. You need to talk to people who understand, rather than people who are just going to tell you that your life isn't that bad compared to others. If you think you've got depression, then go to your GP who can advise you from there.
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musicforsanity
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I think you might want to consider speaking with a counsellor. Your university might have an advice/counselling centre, in which case they will be able to help. Otherwise have a chat to your GP, it's definitely worthwhile doing something about this.

You deserve help with this and it will be worth it.

Good luck.
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bananaterracottapie
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i understand compltely, however the way i see it is just because you haven't had success so far, doesnt mean the future doesnt hold any success for you...i echo dizzee kid rather than thinking about what isnt going well at the moment,focus on whatever you choose to do at the moment, and improving your current situation..... you never know whats round the corner, maybe you just havent found what is right for you yet, there is no set path in life, the most important thing is that you're happy and having fun imo
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the golden girl
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I've passed in my life through something like this. From my experience I learned :

1.To ALWAYS look at the bright side rather than FOCUSING on the negative things.

2.You should have a BIG goal like helping the people in your country/society or even people in the world. if not then a goal that is worth ALL the things that you have to go through to reach it.

3.You should NEVER EVER do something cuz of someone.to be with someone/to make someone proud of you/like you. ex : you study just for this girl's sake is not something that will be continuous in your life ,cuz every person you meet is someone you'll be separated from. ALWAYS do things for YOURSELF or for a REALLY GOOD reason but NOT to impress/be with a certain someone !

4.You're unique. There is something in you that definitely makes you special but you MUST figure it out rather than just focusing on unnecessary things.

5.Depression is something that ALL humans experience but what makes you go through it smoothly depends on your attitude towards it

I hope I helped
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Simplicity
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(Original post by DiZZeeKiD)
Overall, be optimistic, its just life - don't take it too seriously, you'll never get out alive.
Did you read his post. He doesn't suffer from pessimism or taking life too seriously i.e. he is the class clown and he has been chasing a girl for a year.

That's not the actions of someone who is pessimistic or they would give up sooner.
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Simplicity
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I really hate myself. I pretty much fail at everything I do. My life's actually quite good (not bragging). I come from a fairly well-off family, I've got friends etc. But I'm just rubbish at everything, even being a good person. I failed my A-levels, had to repeat them before I could get into University, and now I've failed to get a mandatory work placement, so have to redo another year again. I have friends, but I'm pretty much the clown of the group, but more laughing at me than with me. And I'm 21 and still a virgin, and never had a girlfriend, and the girl I love doesn't even speak to me anymore. I feel depressed, but don't think I have any right to be depressed as there are people who have it a lot worse in this world. But right now I just feel like the worlds biggest failure, and it seems there's nothing I can do about it. I've been applying to do other jobs, but still failed to get them. The fact that I'm from a fairly wealthy family just makes it feel even worse, cos I've had a headstart in life, and still managed to f**k everything up. I go to bed at night wishing I wouldn't wake up, cos I'm too much of a coward to actually kill myself. People say to compare your life to others and you'll that it's not that bad, but the fact that there is loads of problems in the world just makes me want to live in it even less as those people deserve a better life than me cos I'm a t**t. I've just lost all motivation. Last year I was still single, but I was on a good Uni course doing well and chasing after the girl I liked was the biggest motivation in my life, I did it all for her, when I was sad I just kept going cos of the thought I might be with her one day, now there's nothing.
Maybe, you no talent. It's not that bad OP, you have to live with it.

Also, stop living for girls you idiot. If you life is about pleasing some girl, than you're a bigger moron than I think.

On wealth. Your life is too easy and that's why you are depressed. If you got everything you wanted and had tons of holidays e.t.c. as a child that can spoil you.

(Original post by bananaterracottapie)
i understand compltely, however the way i see it is just because you haven't had success so far, doesnt mean the future doesnt hold any success for you...i echo dizzee kid rather than thinking about what isnt going well at the moment,focus on whatever you choose to do at the moment, and improving your current situation..... you never know whats round the corner, maybe you just havent found what is right for you yet, there is no set path in life, the most important thing is that you're happy and having fun imo
You have to look at it realistically. OP is failing uni, failed A levels, failed to get the girl he wants. Waiting for something to happen is a stupid thing. In a way because OP is rich his parents would probably bail him out, however if I was OPs parents I would be sad I raised a failure.
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bananaterracottapie
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(Original post by Simplicity)
Maybe, you no talent. It's not that bad OP, you have to live with it.

Also, stop living for girls you idiot. If you life is about pleasing some girl, than you're a bigger moron than I think.

On wealth. Your life is too easy and that's why you are depressed. If you got everything you wanted and had tons of holidays e.t.c. as a child that can spoil you.


You have to look at it realistically. OP is failing uni, failed A levels, failed to get the girl he wants. Waiting for something to happen is a stupid thing. In a way because OP is rich his parents would probably bail him out, however if I was OPs parents I would be sad I raised a failure.
firstly,do you have to be such an insensitive prick,you could at least try to be constructive.
secondly, a levels/uni aren't the end all or be all, there are many paths to happiness and success. plus in the end, he might he will do well in them anyway.
what i'm saying is that, just because he hasn't achieved what he wants so far, doesn't mean he wont in the future, thinking in terms of failure right now, is silly as failure isn't absolute.
im not saying do nothing and wait for something good to happen,what im saying is to keep looking forward/ways to improve situation, or exploring different things, there are really infinite possibilities in life, and i have firm believe that there is something to be gained in life for everybody. maybe he just hasn't found it yet.
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LaughingBro
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Think of the people in Japan!
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ralphieinker90
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(Original post by Simplicity)
Maybe, you no talent. It's not that bad OP, you have to live with it.

Also, stop living for girls you idiot. If you life is about pleasing some girl, than you're a bigger moron than I think.

On wealth. Your life is too easy and that's why you are depressed. If you got everything you wanted and had tons of holidays e.t.c. as a child that can spoil you.


You have to look at it realistically. OP is failing uni, failed A levels, failed to get the girl he wants. Waiting for something to happen is a stupid thing. In a way because OP is rich his parents would probably bail him out, however if I was OPs parents I would be sad I raised a failure.
You're a massive ****, you know that right? Your name suits you so well, because you're 'simple'. You're an insensitive, thick piece of ****. I suppose you've never failed anything in your life and you're perfect? That's why your on TSR. To tell someone that their parents much be ashamed of them, is disgusting, and if I had a child that said that to someone else, I'd be ashamed. ****
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number_25
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If something is bothering you no matter how big or small you need to fix it.

I would recommend seeing a doctor.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I really hate myself. I pretty much fail at everything I do. My life's actually quite good (not bragging). I come from a fairly well-off family, I've got friends etc. But I'm just rubbish at everything, even being a good person. I failed my A-levels, had to repeat them before I could get into University, and now I've failed to get a mandatory work placement, so have to redo another year again. I have friends, but I'm pretty much the clown of the group, but more laughing at me than with me. And I'm 21 and still a virgin, and never had a girlfriend, and the girl I love doesn't even speak to me anymore. I feel depressed, but don't think I have any right to be depressed as there are people who have it a lot worse in this world. But right now I just feel like the worlds biggest failure, and it seems there's nothing I can do about it. I've been applying to do other jobs, but still failed to get them. The fact that I'm from a fairly wealthy family just makes it feel even worse, cos I've had a headstart in life, and still managed to f**k everything up. I go to bed at night wishing I wouldn't wake up, cos I'm too much of a coward to actually kill myself. People say to compare your life to others and you'll that it's not that bad, but the fact that there is loads of problems in the world just makes me want to live in it even less as those people deserve a better life than me cos I'm a t**t. I've just lost all motivation. Last year I was still single, but I was on a good Uni course doing well and chasing after the girl I liked was the biggest motivation in my life, I did it all for her, when I was sad I just kept going cos of the thought I might be with her one day, now there's nothing.
I know exactly how you feel. Money isn't everything. Just because you are from a financially healthy family doesn't mean you have no right to feel down about other aspects. Happiness is relative to your situation and your situation only, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

My family aren't that well off, but they sacrificed a lot to send me to private school. In terms of grades I did really well at school and at uni. I'm nearly 22 now, but I have suffered from depression for the last 5 years, even during the time I have done well academically. I'm a really sporty guy, and I've had a lot of devastating injury problems which mean I can't do what I love doing. I'm a pretty good looking guy, but I'm still a virgin and have never had a girlfriend. I had to live at home during university because of my injury problems, and I never really connected properly with people at university. The only reason I ever get up in the morning is to do well in exams, but when that is over I feel empty like I have no enjoyment and nothing to be proud of in myself.

Point is, you have every right to feel down if there is something in your life that upsets you that much, regardless of how much money you have. Some of the poorest people in the world are happy - maybe because they have family, friends, a feeling of self worth, a loving relationship, all of which are independent of money.

Do as best you can to reflect on your life so far, and even though you have no motivation now and you feel like there is no point, just try to think of doing something that gives you self worth or something to work toward.
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