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    Just a warning this is a long post, but I'd appreciate some advice on this.

    I've got three sisters (two older who are my half sisters, one younger who is my full sister) and a couple of months ago now, one of my older sisters asked to speak to my dad on his own, which is very unusual so I was sort of worried about what it could be, so my dad said he'd tell me when he got back. However, when he got back he didn't tell us and then when he did he lied, and I knew straight away it was a lie.
    A few days later, he came home from work early and spent ages at the computer writing what seemed like an email. He then went back to work again. I guessed the two things were linked so was pretty concerned that something bad was happening that my parents didn't want to tell me about. So, although I knew it was wrong, out of desperation I went on my parents email to see if I could find out what was happening and saw an email from my other older sister which basically revealed to me that my dad has a son he has nothing to do with. Obviously this shocked me to the core because I just never thought this would happen to me. My parents have never really lied or kept secrets from me and the younger sis. I am so mixed up, angry because this has been kept, guilty because I went snooping through their emails, curious as to how this happened, and upset that my dad has had to carry the burden around with him and that for whatever reason, he has nothing to do with his only son and missed out on watching his child grow up.

    I know that a lot of people have brothers and sisters they have never met and don't really know anythng about them other than they exist, and tbh this wouldn't bother me as much but from the sound of the email (it didn't really give loads away) it sounds like he might have got in touch with one of my older sisters. If he hasn't, then I'm not going to try and find him or anything but I need answers.

    My problem is that I can't exactly ask my parents about this because that would mean telling them that I went into their emails and breaking their trust. This is really bugging me now, I managed to put it to the back of my mind for a bit but I've started thinking about it again. If anyone has any advice, I'd greatly appreciate it.
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    keep your nose out of things that dont concern you
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    keep your nose out of things that dont concern you
    Tbh I thought this did concern me. Yeah I was wrong to go looking through their emails, but I was actually really worried something bad was happening to a close family member.
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    keep your nose out of things that dont concern you
    it does concern you if you're related to them
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    http://images2.memegenerator.net/Ima...orName=Rage-FU



    Like a quest.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just a warning this is a long post, but I'd appreciate some advice on this.

    I've got three sisters (two older who are my half sisters, one younger who is my full sister) and a couple of months ago now, one of my older sisters asked to speak to my dad on his own, which is very unusual so I was sort of worried about what it could be, so my dad said he'd tell me when he got back. However, when he got back he didn't tell us and then when he did he lied, and I knew straight away it was a lie.
    A few days later, he came home from work early and spent ages at the computer writing what seemed like an email. He then went back to work again. I guessed the two things were linked so was pretty concerned that something bad was happening that my parents didn't want to tell me about. So, although I knew it was wrong, out of desperation I went on my parents email to see if I could find out what was happening and saw an email from my other older sister which basically revealed to me that my dad has a son he has nothing to do with. Obviously this shocked me to the core because I just never thought this would happen to me. My parents have never really lied or kept secrets from me and the younger sis. I am so mixed up, angry because this has been kept, guilty because I went snooping through their emails, curious as to how this happened, and upset that my dad has had to carry the burden around with him and that for whatever reason, he has nothing to do with his only son and missed out on watching his child grow up.

    I know that a lot of people have brothers and sisters they have never met and don't really know anythng about them other than they exist, and tbh this wouldn't bother me as much but from the sound of the email (it didn't really give loads away) it sounds like he might have got in touch with one of my older sisters. If he hasn't, then I'm not going to try and find him or anything but I need answers.

    My problem is that I can't exactly ask my parents about this because that would mean telling them that I went into their emails and breaking their trust. This is really bugging me now, I managed to put it to the back of my mind for a bit but I've started thinking about it again. If anyone has any advice, I'd greatly appreciate it.
    I think the fact that you went in to their email account is the least of their worries. Are you sure he knew he had this son. I'd talk to one of the older sisters.
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    Screw feeling bad for going through emails. He hid a son from you, I think you're even.

    Confront him about it, surely you have a right to know?
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    (Original post by reisen)
    I think the fact that you went in to their email account is the least of their worries. Are you sure he knew he had this son. I'd talk to one of the older sisters.
    Yeah he definitely knew he had this son. I read the reply to the email and it made me more upset because he put whatever happened behind him to move on and make things better, and succeeded until now, and he has a lot of other stuff to worry about at the moment. Yeah I could talk to one of them I guess, but I don't know what on earth I'd say to them.
    Thanks for the advice btw
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Tbh I thought this did concern me. Yeah I was wrong to go looking through their emails, but I was actually really worried something bad was happening to a close family member.
    Did you ever stop to consider that maybe your older wiser parents know better than you? There was a reason they kept it from you, they even have been trying to get everything sorted so they could give you a full picture rather than little bits and pieces.


    (Original post by becca1192)
    it does concern you if you're related to them
    no it really doesnt
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    You are obviously a very careing person with the best intentions. It was wrong to read a private email, i'm sure they have your best interests at heart but it is also wong of your family to keep this from you and not pay more attention to your feelings about being kept from something.
    You need to make a judgement about your wish for answers and how knowing something (that your mum may not know) will affect you.
    You could leave a letter for one of your sisters or your dad, explaining your position -thus saying exactly what you want and avoiding an initial angry reaction. You could even say that you don't want to be told anything that would put you in a compromising position- but that you are sory for reading the email and you want to not be excluded.
    Growing up and realising that yor parents aren't always right is difficult but I hope your realationships with your family, especially your dad, are made stronger by this.
    xxxxxx
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    Did you ever stop to consider that maybe your older wiser parents know better than you? There was a reason they kept it from you, they even have been trying to get everything sorted so they could give you a full picture rather than little bits and pieces.




    no it really doesnt
    alright smartarse. are you saying that you've never wanted to find out something that's being kept from you?
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    (Original post by becca1192)
    alright smartarse. are you saying that you've never wanted to find out something that's being kept from you?
    From my family. Of course, i asked and if they wouldnt tell me and i let it go. If its something i need to know then i will be told, if its something that its ok for me to know i can be told, if its nothing to do with me/dont wont me to know well then i wont be told. I certainly wouldnt go snooping i have more respect than that.
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    From my family. Of course, i asked and if they wouldnt tell me and i let it go. If its something i need to know then i will be told, if its something that its ok for me to know i can be told, if its nothing to do with me/dont wont me to know well then i wont be told. I certainly wouldnt go snooping i have more respect than that.
    It's nothing to do with respect. OP clearly stated that she was worried that something bad might be happening to a close family member, so they only checked the email out of fear and to reassure themself that everything was ok. Sometimes people just get too curious, and from the OP's fathers shifty behaviour, im not surprised that they were! Itd eat me up if i knew something was happening that seemed very important and potentially bad. Parents try and protect their children: sometimes too much and they dont realise that their little babies have grown up and are able to deal with a difficult situation when presented.

    This matter does concern the OP as they are related to somebody they didnt even know about; they should have the right to choose whether or not they have contact with their brother, and if the OP doesnt know in the first place because the parents keep it a secret, then they are being deprived of that right.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You are obviously a very careing person with the best intentions. It was wrong to read a private email, i'm sure they have your best interests at heart but it is also wong of your family to keep this from you and not pay more attention to your feelings about being kept from something.
    You need to make a judgement about your wish for answers and how knowing something (that your mum may not know) will affect you.
    You could leave a letter for one of your sisters or your dad, explaining your position -thus saying exactly what you want and avoiding an initial angry reaction. You could even say that you don't want to be told anything that would put you in a compromising position- but that you are sory for reading the email and you want to not be excluded.
    Growing up and realising that yor parents aren't always right is difficult but I hope your realationships with your family, especially your dad, are made stronger by this.
    xxxxxx
    My mum knows about it, but I'm not sure how long she has known. The only person who doesn't know is my younger sister, who I have no intention of telling because I don't know enough myself.
    I really have to know, because at the moment there's so many scenarios going through my head and some of them make my dad look like an awful person, when the likelihood is is that it didn't happen like that or whatever. It's all about finding the courage to own up to what I did, I guess.
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    From my family. Of course, i asked and if they wouldnt tell me and i let it go. If its something i need to know then i will be told, if its something that its ok for me to know i can be told, if its nothing to do with me/dont wont me to know well then i wont be told. I certainly wouldnt go snooping i have more respect than that.
    I think she definitely has the right to know that she has a half brother and parents aren't always right, they are only human
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    Similar thing happened to me..
    Except he's still denying it even though he has a picture of a baby as his background on his phone -.-
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    It's not much of a family secret anymore is it?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Tbh I thought this did concern me. Yeah I was wrong to go looking through their emails, but I was actually really worried something bad was happening to a close family member.

    It really didnt concern you. sometimes we have things we dont want others to know about. what if it had been something your sister was concerned about and wanted your dads advice on the matter. you went in and invaded her privacy.

    Im sure your dad will tell you when he feels the time is right. although the email makes it seem like he knew about his son he might not have been able to have any contact and therefor is trying to figgure things out himself.

    and the moral as always to these stories is dont look if you cant handle it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just a warning this is a long post, but I'd appreciate some advice on this.

    I've got three sisters (two older who are my half sisters, one younger who is my full sister) and a couple of months ago now, one of my older sisters asked to speak to my dad on his own, which is very unusual so I was sort of worried about what it could be, so my dad said he'd tell me when he got back. However, when he got back he didn't tell us and then when he did he lied, and I knew straight away it was a lie.
    A few days later, he came home from work early and spent ages at the computer writing what seemed like an email. He then went back to work again. I guessed the two things were linked so was pretty concerned that something bad was happening that my parents didn't want to tell me about. So, although I knew it was wrong, out of desperation I went on my parents email to see if I could find out what was happening and saw an email from my other older sister which basically revealed to me that my dad has a son he has nothing to do with. Obviously this shocked me to the core because I just never thought this would happen to me. My parents have never really lied or kept secrets from me and the younger sis. I am so mixed up, angry because this has been kept, guilty because I went snooping through their emails, curious as to how this happened, and upset that my dad has had to carry the burden around with him and that for whatever reason, he has nothing to do with his only son and missed out on watching his child grow up.

    I know that a lot of people have brothers and sisters they have never met and don't really know anythng about them other than they exist, and tbh this wouldn't bother me as much but from the sound of the email (it didn't really give loads away) it sounds like he might have got in touch with one of my older sisters. If he hasn't, then I'm not going to try and find him or anything but I need answers.

    My problem is that I can't exactly ask my parents about this because that would mean telling them that I went into their emails and breaking their trust. This is really bugging me now, I managed to put it to the back of my mind for a bit but I've started thinking about it again. If anyone has any advice, I'd greatly appreciate it.
    You should not interfere in things that are none of your business. If your father has got a son it's his business and if he doesn't happen to like that son it's up to him. You should not have looked at private emails and they could even complain to the police about that. To put it bluntly, get on with your own live and don't stick your nose in..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah he definitely knew he had this son. I read the reply to the email and it made me more upset because he put whatever happened behind him to move on and make things better, and succeeded until now, and he has a lot of other stuff to worry about at the moment. Yeah I could talk to one of them I guess, but I don't know what on earth I'd say to them.
    Thanks for the advice btw
    Speak to the older sister rather than your dad. If she obviously lies to you, confront your dad. If your parents get upset about you reading the email, they will get over it... seems like your dad has bigger concerns.
 
 
 
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