Help...

So it happened, I find out my ex, who constantly declared her love for me has a new bf 6 days prior to her supposed to be visiting.

She says nothign will ever change with me.. and to some extent she could be right.. she quoted what another ex of mine had said.. it was all the same.. i'm too posessive, i have such a temper, i demand so much and stress them out etc etc..

i just wanna know if there's anything i can do.. this isnt attention seeking.. i truly am sick of repeating the same mistakes..

at uni, i might be surrounded by ppl and hell someone referred to me as one of the most popular and known people on my course but i truly feel alone.. this girl is my best friend and was someone who i truly wished i cud get back together with.. seeing how ive ruined that i know i cant let it happen again to anyone.. please.. just any help is appreciated.

Reply 1

Timothy

Well if they don't like you for your personality, for who you are maybe you are with the wrong people, you need to be with people who do like you for your personality.

Reply 2

Laursy

Well if they don't like you for your personality, for who you are maybe you are with the wrong people, you need to be with people who do like you for your personality

what he said. couldn;t have put it better myself

Reply 3

ChrisA86

it's not like that.. in truth it's been said by so many people before.. i just change from this nice guy into some controlling, insecure person.. i even shout.. and thats not me..

Reply 4

Timothy

Ok well when do you change to this different person, when you are in a relationship?

If so maybe you are a little insecure, or worried about losing the person you are with, so seem overbaring?

Reply 5

ChrisA86

yeah, im only ever like that in relationships.. but i just need to find a way.. i got so jealous (she's still at home while ive gone away to uni) of this guy she was friends with.. so much so that the comments pushed her towards him.. her and i had this out on the phone.. she actually just called to see if i was alright and wanted to make sure i cud sleep, which was nice i guess.. she's a lovely girl.. not perfect but undeservin of what ive done.

Reply 6

Timothy

I think it is only natural to become over-protective of someone when you are going out with them and see them with someone else, anyone would be worried.

I think you need to just control your emotions a bit more, don't always get angry/say what you think to her, just observe the situation and only talk to her about it if it is actually a real problem.

Otherwise I am not sure what other help to give.

Reply 7

ChrisA86

but when i observe it.. all i do is get angry.. i become someone else and it's just not right.. in the past it's ruined every relationship ive had since i was perhaps 15? coming on for 5 years now.. ive tried denying the knolwedge of it being me.. but it is. i am sadly seeing no alternative other than one suggested a long time ago of anti-depressant pills.

Reply 8

El Scotto

think of it this way, exes become exes for a reason, mainly due to all their faults!

theres always someone better over the horizon.

Reply 9

Fleece

anti-depressant pills arent the answer here.... counselling could be of some use however - help you understand your behaviour and how you can change it...which is afterall what you're seeking to do...

Reply 10

mademoiselle84

i know its controversial but if you know you have a bad personality trait just change!!! it's not that hard to control your actions, if not your feelings.
people used to get really annoyed with me cos i was sooooo anal about everything. i realised this and changed!!! i still hate it when people come round and make a mess or something but i keep quiet cos i don't wanna p-ss off my mates over something that i know rationally isn't that important!!

Reply 11

-TMG-

ChrisA86

it's not like that.. in truth it's been said by so many people before.. i just change from this nice guy into some controlling, insecure person.. i even shout.. and thats not me..

Anger management? Or some other kind of therapy? You can't change or accept something until you fully understand it.

Reply 12

lovelee-jublee

ChrisA86

it's not like that.. in truth it's been said by so many people before.. i just change from this nice guy into some controlling, insecure person.. i even shout.. and thats not me..

I'm in a relationship and just recently I've become the same...I get so stressed and start shouting, but I always blame my boyfriend, even if it was nothing to do with him. He gets blamed for everything. I don't know why I do it, and I can't explain it to him, but I think it may be due to pressure/stress from school and exams, and just having so much on at once. Basically you need to explain to whoever it is that you're in a relationship that you often get a bit stressed, and sometimes you find it too much and may get angry. That's what I've recently told my boyfriend and he really helps me. If I get upset or angry with him we talk about it, rather than shout, and he asks how I'm feeling and helps me through it. I'm sure that in time you'll be the same and will be fine.