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POLL : Gay rights : what if you had two dads? watch

  • View Poll Results: What if you had two dads?
    agree with it
    70
    20.29%
    disagree
    130
    37.68%
    wouldn't effect my mental and social upbringing
    145
    42.03%

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    I can't imagine it would be particularly healthy - humans are naturally brought up with two parents, one male, one female.

    I don't know of any studies that cover the effect of same sex parents on a childs psyche, but I do know that a rise in single parent homes and high divorce rates is probably responsible for a rise in all aspects of crime ,as well as personality disorders and mental illness.

    Whether this is the effect of having one instead of two parents, or of being brought up by one sex, I don't know.
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    (Original post by Lewis :D)
    That's sad! My parents are fine with my sexuality, you shouldn't be ashamed
    My situation is not all that bad actually, my bf's parents are MUCH worse. I think if my parents found out about my sexuality, they'd deal with it eventually.

    It's a cultural thing really. My parents are Indian, and Indian culture is centered around family. My parents talk about me and my brother constantly to friends/relatives, and they enquire frequently about my brother's marriage status. Now, with my heterosexual brother, my parents know it's only a matter of time before he settles down with "a nice girl" and they can plan a big wedding and invite all their family/friends; and then later everyone will want to hear about my brother's status on having children.

    If they found out that I am gay, that would destroy the same hopes they held for me. I would go from being the son they talk about with joy to their friends, to the shameful one who they have to keep shrouded in secrecy. They could not let anyone among their relatives catch the faintest idea of my sexuality- it would result in my parents being ostracised. I don't want to do that to my parents, I don't want them to feel like their own son is some dark secret to be kept hidden. They've raised me well and don't deserve that. I'd prefer they just never find out.
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    At least make a poll that makes sense you idiot.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by SAK.A)
    At least make a poll that makes sense you idiot.
    suggest improvements please.
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    What if you were adopted by a Lesbian couple.... best life imaginable...
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    I don't see a problem with it.

    As for children 'needing' the two different gender roles thing I don't think that's strictly true, as long as both men were loving parents (which I'd assume they were if they'd committed to having a child through adoption, egg donors etc..) then that's all they need. What really do you need a mother/father to explain to you about your body when schools are doing so much sex education lessons. Other than that they'd still provide all the emotional support you need.

    Children turn out perfectly fine from many different families, whether they were raised by a single parent that was either their father or their mother. There's no reason why a person would end up socially and mentally damaged from having two fathers, it's not as if they'll have absolutely no female influence whatsoever because that could come from secondary carers such as relatives and such.
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    (Original post by kerily)
    :love: This.

    I'd be interested to know if it's solely straight people who seem to think that you will miss out on something irretrievable by having two parents who are both XX or both XY. I suspect it is.
    I think the best possible parents would be a man and a woman.

    I also think two women could work as well, as in many societies around the world the children are raised mainly by the women in the society/group. However this is largely dependent on the sex of the child as well, especially in our society.

    I think two men should be the last option. Yes both men may be good people, however I believe children (especially daughters) often have a special bond with a mother which cannot be replicated in a male. Perhaps two men would be ok for a son.

    There are a rise in single parent families and we have seen that many of them can have problems. But is that due to the fact that the child has one parent or the fact that single parent families are often from poorer backgrounds? However like homosexual parents, single parents often work as well.

    If I was presented with a parent-less child, and the choice of a mother and father, two fathers, two mothers or single parent, mother and father would always be the first choice (I suspect that is the same for many people).

    However I doubt sufficient research has been done in this area to draw any definite conclusions.
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    (Original post by Fusilero)
    The question is whether or not that difference is a cultural abomination or not
    The question is whether you agree with it, disagree, or whether you feel that life would not differ for you in terms of your mental and social wellbeing..

    I'm fairly sure my generation would have been bullied for having gay dads, if that's no longer the case then fantastico, but this seems unlikely? :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    The question is whether you agree with it, disagree, or whether you feel that life would not differ for you in terms of your mental and social wellbeing..

    I'm fairly sure my generation would have been bullied for having gay dads, if that's no longer the case then fantastico, but it seems unlikely? :rolleyes:
    Of course they'll be bullied for having gay dads. No one is suggesting that it wouldn't occur. What I'm suggesting is that, despite that, there is no real basis for rejecting it. There are many, many activities and states children can go into or find themselves in where they get bullied. The simple act of getting adopted makes the child a target for bullying no matter if their parents are same race and heterosexual or if their parents are different race and homosexual.
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    It cannot be argued in this day and age that homosexuality is not a completely natural occurrence. However, given it is natural, surely if nature intended for gay people to raise children, it would have given them a way to conceive children?

    I completely disagree with gay adoption, I think it puts political correctness before the rights of chilldren.
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    (Original post by Fusilero)
    Of course they'll be bullied for having gay dads
    Then how can anyone, never mind the majority, go ahead and click the "no mental/social connotations" option!? Does not compute
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    (Original post by innerhollow)
    My situation is not all that bad actually, my bf's parents are MUCH worse. I think if my parents found out about my sexuality, they'd deal with it eventually.

    It's a cultural thing really. My parents are Indian, and Indian culture is centered around family. My parents talk about me and my brother constantly to friends/relatives, and they enquire frequently about my brother's marriage status. Now, with my heterosexual brother, my parents know it's only a matter of time before he settles down with "a nice girl" and they can plan a big wedding and invite all their family/friends; and then later everyone will want to hear about my brother's status on having children.

    If they found out that I am gay, that would destroy the same hopes they held for me. I would go from being the son they talk about with joy to their friends, to the shameful one who they have to keep shrouded in secrecy. They could not let anyone among their relatives catch the faintest idea of my sexuality- it would result in my parents being ostracised. I don't want to do that to my parents, I don't want them to feel like their own son is some dark secret to be kept hidden. They've raised me well and don't deserve that. I'd prefer they just never find out.
    Damn, its must be hard for you dude. I can empathise with your situation being an Asian myself.
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Then how can anyone, never mind the majority, go ahead and click the "no mental/social connotations" option!? Does not compute
    They are wrong. Naive idealism does not alter reality but neither does that justify homophobic discrimination. Reality is not a binary decision, it's not a case of GAY DADS being a terrible tragedy or GAY DADS being the best things ever. There are positives and negatives to be weighed but overall I can see no moral justification for restricting the choices of both the children and parents.
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    (Original post by Fusilero)
    You know who else gets bullied? Racial Minorities, Mixed Race Children, Homosexuals, Bisexuals, Transexuals, Asexuals, Transgender, Agender, Crossgender, Religious Minorities, the Learning Disabled, Quadrapleigics, Parapleigics, the Short, the Tall, the Obese, Geeks, the Underweight, the Short Sighted, the Long Sighted, Poor People, Rich people, Average People, Rahs, Chavs, Heterosexuals, Intelligent people, stupid people, state educated, Foster Children, Adopted Children, Slow developing children, those with EMA, fast developing children, Children with different race/religious adopted parents, those with free school meals, Down's Syndrome, Asthmatics, Cyclists, Smelly People, the Home Educated, the Privately Educated, people with accents... essentially DIFFERENT people.
    You forgot gingers
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    (Original post by dreiviergrenadier)
    You forgot gingers
    Everyone forgets gingers.

    Just joking :holmes:


    But there are other groups I forgot as well.

    EDIT: Added them in now.
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    (Original post by EffKayy)
    farther?
    Posh are we.
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&cli...&v=1SHQtq9znmo
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    (Original post by sixthformer)
    farther
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&cli...&v=1SHQtq9znmo
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    hahaa
    OMG!!
    i forgot about this!
    lol
    rep for you tommorow :L
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    (Original post by Fusilero)
    I would:

    A) Be a completely a different person with a completely different set of biases, prejudices and beliefs and therefore it would be impossible to reconcile that situation with my own

    However, let's say as a hypothetical that tomorrow my dad decides to go gay and marry another man. I would now have two dads and still hold the same mindset I do now. This is the only way such a thought experiment could work. In this scenario:

    I would be okay with it :holmes:




    You know who else gets bullied? Racial Minorities, Mixed Race Children, Homosexuals, Bisexuals, Transexuals, Asexuals, Transgender, Agender, Crossgender, Religious Minorities, the Learning Disabled, Quadrapleigics, Parapleigics, the Short, the Tall, the Obese, Geeks, the Underweight, the Short Sighted, the Long Sighted, Poor People, Rich people, Jews, Average People, Rahs, Chavs, Heterosexuals, Intelligent people, stupid people, state educated, gingers, Foster Children, Adopted Children, Slow developing children, those with EMA, fast developing children, Children with different race/religious adopted parents, those with free school meals, Down's Syndrome, Asthmatics, blondes, Cyclists, Smelly People, the Home Educated, the Privately Educated, people with accents... essentially DIFFERENT people. Some of these are active choices, others are not choices but children will bully them nonetheless. Our bleak acceptance of playground bullying shouldn't be a factor into consideration here but a symptom of a failure of our education system.

    As a declaration of interest; I fall into several of those categories having drifted into and out of some of them and I have experienced bullying for every single one of them for one time or another. This does not mean I advocate the destruction of plurality and differences however.
    Fair enough. I have experienced severe and sustained bullying myself, and I'm aware of the general paradigm. I just think a gay couple's rights to raise a child should be balanced against the child's right not to be discriminated against. As you say, the possibility of that happening is symptomatic of wrongs in our society, but at the same time that doesn't mean that prospective parents won't be unaware of that possibility and perhaps even cruel not to take proper consideration of it.

    That's all I was saying.
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    i personally wouldn't like that.
 
 
 
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