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people who never have children because they leave it too late Watch

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    I mean mostly women as obv they can't have children past a certain age. Do you know anyone who has missed out on having children because they haven't met the right guy and they just left it too late so it is now impossible? I mean when the woman is say forty or 37 or whatever the age is for that particular woman. Are you worried this might happen to you if you split from your boyfriend and then fail to get a new one.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I mean mostly women as obv they can't have children past a certain age. Do you know anyone who has missed out on having children because they haven't met the right guy and they just left it too late so it is now impossible? I mean when the woman is say forty or 37 or whatever the age is for that particular woman. Are you worried this might happen to you if you split from your boyfriend and then fail to get a new one.
    Yes, it does happen. But I don't see why it's something to worry about. If you stay with your boyfriend just so that you have someone to have kids with, you're going to be dooming yourself to an unhappy life and will be raising your children in a ****ty environment. You also aren't being fair to the guy because you're lying about your feelings just to get something from him. If you don't meet the right person and you feel you desperately want kids, sleep with some randomer or seek a sperm donor and raise a child by yourself. Sorted.
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    I'm worried but at the same time I'm not thinking about it unless I am done with Med school or financially stable. I also can't imagine myself having a baby until I'm 30 yrs old. I am too selfish to have one.
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    advances in medicines and so on mean that more and more women are having babies later than ever before. Women in their 40s and 50s seem to be having children more frequently.

    To be honest it's not really something I think is wise, because the chance of the child being born with Downs Syndrome increases when the mother is past 35, however that doesn't mean that loads of women aren't doing it though.

    We're increasingly becoming a society of career first, children later.
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    There's always adoption.
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    I am already panicking that this will happen to me.
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    Babies born from woman over the age of 50 have a 1 in 4 chance of having a birth defect. So just because medical advances allow them to have children later doesn't mean they should.
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    Yes. My aunty had a child at 38 and hasn't been able to have one since. I don't know why she didn't start having them sooner. She'd been married a few years by then.
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    It can happen easily, time races by - much more as you get older as well. Days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months, months turn to years... and before you know it, you're "old". I was talking to a 34 year old about this, and she said she might wants kinds "one day" ¬_¬

    These days there is a lot of pressure (mostly from other women) to prioritise work and careers over having children, so women leave it later and later and later until.... oh, damn. To have children appropriately early, women need to rely on either a partner who can support the family (possibly a slightly older man who has been in work for a few years), or a good welfare system. The latter is celebrated today while the former is thoroughly discouraged. Womenz can luk after demselves fanku very much.

    To be honest, once you're past the age of 18/20 you're really going downhill as a physically capable mother: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advanced_maternal_age

    However, this can be counteracted by the mother's (or the couple's) improved social standing and financial status - helpful to the child as it grows up.


    Advanced paternal age also causes problems, we should note. But not quite as much as maternal.
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    In practice its more likely to be about not finding the right person rather than a consciously planned decision of leaving it too late.

    I don't see the point of people eg family and friends putting pressure on a woman about it, when you get a woman who is 30 and single and people start saying "you can't leave it forever you know" implying she has to go out and find a bloke to make her pregnant as a life priority.

    I have worked with a couple of older women who I suppose are career focused but then maybe they've thrown themselves into their careers because they never got the chance to have kids, one never married, the other was married a few years and her husband was killed in an accident and she never found anyone again. There's a stereotype of women without children ending up being lonely and depressed but these two are fine about it, as they have got older and had more money they've been able to do travelling and things that would have been difficult or not as easily affordable if they'd had children.

    I also think this is one of the unconscious psychological effects that tilts the balance of the dating and relationships game into the hands of men once a woman is over 30. Men are largely indifferent about having children IMO, but some women do worry about that concept "if we split up now or if this doesn't work will I get another chance". I know a woman in her early 30s thats been in a relationship she's not sure about for a couple of years now but she's hanging on in it because she wants children and is worried that if they split up, and she is single for a few years, that time will be running out.

    The best attitude IMO is to "let go" of obsessing about the idea of having children....accept that some people have them, some people don't, it is not the end of the world if you don't and you can't control everything that happens in your life. Obsessing over children is something that can cause you to have a bit psychological issue hanging over you that will go away if you let it go, even if that is hard.

    I understand its easier for me to say as I'm male and if I'm honest although if I got a girl pregnant I could easily deal with having children, it has never struck me as a priority in my life.
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    I think my mum is worrying about that more than me - but she had her last child at 42 - so I've probably got another 25 years!!
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    Not everyone wants kids. I certainly don't. If I was with a guy who really wanted kids I don't think it would work out because he should go find a woman who wants kids instead of wasting time with me.

    But who's to say I won't have a change of heart in 20 years and be desperate to squeeze a little brat out then? I definitely understand why people leave it so late. At least they have had a bit of a fun life before they are consumed by pack lunches and scrubbing grubby little fingerprints off the walls all day.
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    i know people like to have a life and enjoy it as much as they can before settling down, but tbh think about your kids life, if you have it at 40-50, you're going to be 50-60 when its only 10, i just find that ridicolous, thats going on a grandparents age or is tbh. why wouldn't you want to be in your kids life for as long as possible as well as seeing your kids have kids.. i want 2-3 kids by 26-28
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    I don't see why women who get that age don't just adopt, rather than spending thousands on IVF or whatever. There are so many kids out there who need a home.
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    No but isn't it unfair on the kid bringing a child into the world and not letting it have the chance of a father? Also a lot of women struggle to bring up children especially at that age.
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    • Thread Starter
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    I meant that to the person saying about having a sperm donor or just going out an shagging a random guy which I think is a pretty common thing to do for women not wanting to miss out on motherhood.
 
 
 
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