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    My friend lives in Japan and so a few days back I emailed him asking if he was ok and told him to update me about the situation there cos I was worried. He emailed back saying thanks and a very brief two sentences about what's going on there (general stuff we already know from the news). I replied just adding to what he said and admittedly may have slightly downplayed the seriousness of the situation but it was more for the sake of cheering him up, and I told him to take care of himself at the end. He then replies with one sentence basically saying that the situation is not a joke. When i saw this i was annoyed firstly because obviously I understand the seriousness of what's going on in Japan, secondly because it seemed to me like he was looking down on me, as if I wasn't capable of understanding the situation, when ultimately what I was doing was caring about his well-being. I was pretty annoyed so I replied abruptly with 'I don't look upon this as a joke, do not misunderstand me'.

    I know this probably seems very petty but am I completely off the mark to feel slightly upset about this?
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    I don't know.
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    I would say you're in the wrong sorry.. I don't see how you can 'downplay' the situation really |:
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    you sound like Chloe from 24, passive aggressive much? Chill Winston
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    No.
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    Unless you tell us what you said, we can't really judge.

    You may well have been in the wrong to try and make light of it frankly.
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    (Original post by NW86)
    Unless you tell us what you said, we can't really judge.

    You may well have been in the wrong to try and make light of it frankly.
    Basically I said this:
    'i heard you have powercuts but other than that are things relatively ok where you are? Also I saw on the news that in other countries people are buying iodine tablets to prevent radiation, could this is be slight paranoia? Anyway, take good care of yourself, hope your [name of his dog] is ok too! ' (previous to this message I had written that I was very sad about the situation and that I was worried for him)

    Do you think I downplayed it?
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    I can imagine he's probably under a lot of stress himself...your email seems okay, but he might have taken it the wrong way because he's there and I can only imagine that the whole situation is terrifying...don't beat yourself up over it, it's probably just stress running high.

    I wouldn't say you were in the wrong...but he may have taken it the wrong way...he'll know that too, in time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically I said this:
    'i heard you have powercuts but other than that are things relatively ok where you are? Also I saw on the news that in other countries people are buying iodine tablets to prevent radiation, could this is be slight paranoia? Anyway, take good care of yourself, hope your [name of his dog] is ok too! ' (previous to this message I had written that I was very sad about the situation and that I was worried for him)

    Do you think I downplayed it?
    The problem with email is that the way it is read can dramatically change the "feel" of what has been written. Different people will react to an email in different ways. I don't think you downplayed it but he may have seen some of it, such as the comment about paranoia, as you downplaying it. He may also have seen the comment about the dog as you taking the p**s.
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    (Original post by badger-man)
    The problem with email is that the way it is read can dramatically change the "feel" of what has been written. Different people will react to an email in different ways. I don't think you downplayed it but he may have seen some of it, such as the comment about paranoia, as you downplaying it. He may also have seen the comment about the dog as you taking the p**s.
    Oh s***. So do you think my last message (about him misunderstanding) was really rude? I'm regretting this...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oh s***. So do you think my last message (about him misunderstanding) was really rude? I'm regretting this...
    No. I think if he thought you were making a joke out of the situation then you were right to reply telling him it wasn't a joke and that you understand how serious things are. I don't think it was rude but then again, I'm not your friend so I have no idea how he would have interpreted it.
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    Firstly I think you have to bear in mind that he may well be feeling very stressed. His reaction may have more to do with his own feelings than your message.

    If I were you I think I'd give it one more go with an apology and try explaining that you were just trying to cheer him up but obviously missed the mark. I think if he has another look at your email he will realise it wasn't meant unkindly.
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    (Original post by EvieMo)
    Firstly I think you have to bear in mind that he may well be feeling very stressed. His reaction may have more to do with his own feelings than your message.

    If I were you I think I'd give it one more go with an apology and try explaining that you were just trying to cheer him up but obviously missed the mark. I think if he has another look at your email he will realise it wasn't meant unkindly.
    Yeah just try to tell him how worried you are about him, it's harder to take that the wrong way. :/
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    You meant well, but it was probably not the best time to make any kind of joke to 'cheer him up'. Because he experienced the disaster first hand, he is most likely sensitive about the entire issue. Just try to send him another e-mail to elucidate things and tell him that you really care about him, and that you were just trying to cheer him up and stuff.

    Goodluck!
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    My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me... Nevermind, plenty more in the sea!

    Try that one and see if that cheers him up


    (I would just like to point out that I am fully aware of the seriousness of the situation and do not consider it to be funny in any sense. But inappropriately timed humour tickles me. Apologies.)
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    (Original post by Nerol)
    My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me... Nevermind, plenty more in the sea!

    Try that one and see if that cheers him up


    (I would just like to point out that I am fully aware of the seriousness of the situation and do not consider it to be funny in any sense. But inappropriately timed humour tickles me. Apologies.)
    You think I was that bad?
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    ummmm who knows. both of you seem to get offended easily, that's all i can say.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You think I was that bad?
    nahh. lol.

    Obviously no one in their right mind actually thinks it's a funny situation, or even that it's not serious.

    You should both chill out, as clearly there are bigger things happening in the world than you worrying about who offended who.

 
 
 
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