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Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner? watch

  • View Poll Results: Ideal future or perfect partner?
    Ideal future
    49.38%
    Perfect partner
    50.62%

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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Yeah, emotions come into play if you want your perfect future as well?!
    But that is not your question, you asked about partner and "perfect" future(no such thing exists lol)........kinda of a silly question considering you're only like 16.......wait a couple of more years until you've matured a little!
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    If I had to choose between the two, I would choose my partner. A stable and loving family life is more important to me than any career- plus I guess I could do volunteering and language classes and fun stuff like that.
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    (Original post by DanielleT192)
    I find this interesting. Good work I'm So Academic. Shows the split of work driven ambitious people, to the ones yearning to find love.
    I asked this to see how passionate people are, really. And to see if people still think that:

    *career-driven = sadness
    *family/partner-driven = happiness

    It's depressing that people still hold these assumptions.

    I also have a realistic example. One of my best friends are in a relationship and she claims to be "in love" and they were going to get engaged. But I have noticed she isn't happy at all. She isn't happy because she isn't doing anything with her life and isn't fulfilling to the best of her ability, even saying she is unhappy.
    Ergo love =/= happiness (If that were true there would be no divorces).

    I think if you aren't satisfied with yourself/your career you will not be satisfied in a relationship, no matter how perfect your partner is. You need to find happiness in yourself before finding your perfect partner imo.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Says so?



    Why? What if someone's dream is help disadvantaged people for the rest of their life or volunteer all around the world?



    Oh, so A family and A career?

    So why not just hook up with a random guy, and have "A family" and just work in your local Tesco for "A career"?
    Wow no need to get nasty. I'm fairly sure my life won't end up that way. It's my view, I would pick perfect relationship over perfect career. You asked the question, sorry for answering
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    (Original post by woozeybear)
    My perfect partner wouldn't make me choose
    I'm setting the parameters: partner or future?

    But what if my perfect future contained a partner and kids and stuff?
    I'm talking about two distinct options. I.e. EITHER family or career.

    Why do you want a partner/kids? (Please don't give me bull**** answers like the "maternal instinct" and other wishy-washy crap; or any sort of pseudo-biological answer like "we are social creatures". That's not a reason, that's digression from the actual question).
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    It says somewhere in this thread that you can tell if someone's passionate about their dream/ subject if they're willing to give up their perfect partner for it.

    Well that's ********. I'd give up my career for my boyfriend, doesn't mean I'm not passionate about what I want to do it means that in this hypothetical situation I couldn't live a happy life without him.

    Thankfully in real life we can have both
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    (Original post by gradjobplease)
    Well, let's rephrase it slightly. If you had both and were forced to give up one, which do you think you'd choose?
    I'd easily give up the partner. Easily.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    I asked this to see how passionate people are, really. And to see if people still think that:

    *career-driven = sadness
    *family/partner-driven = happiness

    It's depressing that people still hold these assumptions.


    Ergo love =/= happiness (If that were true there would be no divorces).




    People in love do not get divorced. Also I am passionate about my choice of career, or else I wouldn't have any offers at uni would I? There'd nothing wrong with wanting a family and love, that would make me happy
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    I don't believe such a situation would ever come about but since you ask: for the right person, I'd probably give it my best shot. That's not to say I'd be successful but for the right person, I really would at least try
    It's not supposed to be "realistic", it's about thinking.

    I don't get what you are saying about "trying" (at compromise?).

    No, I'm asking a direct question: would you give up everything about music and all your future ambitions for your dream man? Yes or no?
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    (Original post by MrsCrackFox)
    Definitely the perfect partner. It would definitely bring more long term happiness.
    The satisfaction you get from the perfect career is only limited.
    Please elaborate. Why do you say that?
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    I would like to travel and live in many places. That is my most realistic dream.
    But I do think I would be willing to stay in one place if it was with someone I really loved and if I saw a potentially good future with that person. Because I am a loving person and being with them would probably become my new most-wanted scenario!

    I think to make any relationship really work, a little compromise is needed on both sides!
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    (Original post by T-Toe)
    Doesn't mean I'll stop loving them. The love is unconditional.
    Why is it acceptable for love to people to be unconditional, but unconditional love for "goals" to not be (even if what you aspire is completely selfless)?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    To state the parameters of this question (as it could be interpreted in different ways):

    *Pretend you have not experienced your dream/future/career, i.e. to be an investment banker or to travel around the world. So it is NOT a case of "yeah, when I'll give up my career half-way through". No, it's one or the other.

    *Your dream or whatever cannot be finding "true love" or "happiness" or any of that wishy-washy crap. Just definite and specific goals. No emotions included, it has to be an actual goal.

    *To reiterate once again, it is a ONE or the OTHER choice. No best of both worlds in this case.

    I edited this bit as people are going down the "compromise" route, i.e. they'll take the perfect partner with a not so perfect career. So the situation is changed. NO compromise. It's:

    *Perfect partner + ****/no career
    *Perfect career + ****/no partner


    Also, no exploiting any loopholes.

    Thanks. Interested in your opinions.
    NO!... It wont happen. You have to look after number one.
    I don't believe there is ONE perfect partner in the world for you. And those that believe that are pretty stupid.

    The world is a big place... and there is no one on this earth that has met everyone, so how they can say "He/She is my soul mate" is pretty shocking.

    (My opinion btw)
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    I'd easily give up the partner. Easily.
    It's a lot easier to say that when you've never been in love -which I'm guessing from your posts and your age, you haven't? I believe that plenty of people would give up their ideal partner for their career but I find it really difficult to believe that anyone would find it EASY.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    I'm setting the parameters: partner or future?



    I'm talking about two distinct options. I.e. EITHER family or career.

    Why do you want a partner/kids? (Please don't give me bull**** answers like the "maternal instinct" and other wishy-washy crap; or any sort of pseudo-biological answer like "we are social creatures". That's not a reason, that's digression from the actual question).
    Well I've always wanted a family, longer than a career (although I am dedicated to my career choice) I'd be more upset not having a family, and if I did that'd be like a job anyway raising kids and stuff. Everyone has to make a living for their future family/themselves anyway, but if my perfect partner could support everyone then fair enough I guess? Although I'd hate to have someone "perfect" around me
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Why is it acceptable for love to people to be unconditional, but unconditional love for "goals" to not be (even if what you aspire is completely selfless)?
    It doesn't matter what you choose, you can't be happy with one without the other.
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    Brilliant thread ISA, what was going in your mind before you made the thread?
    Thanks.

    These were my thoughts prior to creating this thread:

    *The belief that having a partner/children is a "necessity"
    *Wanting to achieve something is apparently selfish
    *Everyone should conform to the marriage/kids game
    *If you don't experience "love", you're not human
    *It's robotic to aim for something else other than relationships
    *Relationships equal happiness
    *Career-driven individuals are ultimately unhappy
    *You're not "human" if you don't want a partner/kids

    Really?

    So much as changed socially, i.e. with regards to ethnic minorities, the female gender, homosexuals etc - but it still seems to be a social stigma to be career-driven as opposed to family-driven. Even to the extent of being called a (and I have heard this) "weird, selfish *****".

    It's interesting (although sad) for some people to INSIST for people on having kids and getting married - for the sake of it? Because everyone is doing it? Why?

    We all have our own lives. Why can't we live how we want it to want we want to do (providing it's beneficial to the world), even if that means not having a partner/kids?

    In what "life book" does it say you HAVE to have a family? Does God deny you entry to heaven for not having a family or something? Are you inferior for having a different opinion?
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    (Original post by T-Toe)
    Yeah of course but it's certainly self-fulling, and fulfillment = happiness.
    What if I don't want kids and kids would be a burden on my life? Surely that would make me unhappy, rather than happy?
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    I would never give up anything in my personal life for any job. No career is worth it, jobs are nothing but a means to an end - money.
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    Disregard Females. Acquire currency.
 
 
 
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