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Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner? watch

  • View Poll Results: Ideal future or perfect partner?
    Ideal future
    49.38%
    Perfect partner
    50.62%

    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Smelly Ellie)
    As I said before, a perfect person would never make you give up your career, it's a made up thread. But what if I was blissfully happy with that person?
    What if your career, effectively, prevented you from having a family?

    LISTEN to me - future or partner? What is more important?

    LOOK, life is unfair. Everyone does get the perfect partner AND the perfect future. Realistically.

    So in fact, it does happen. Choose one or the other. And if you can't, don't come back to this thread insisting that the "middle ground" is the best. Of course it is the best!

    But, this is about making a choice, and if you're incapable of doing that, then don't reply.

    Obvious everyone would choose the former in these options:

    *Both
    *Perfect partner
    *Perfect future

    But what if the first option is removed?
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    (Original post by Smelly Ellie)
    When you retire, what would you have then if you poured your entire life into your job?
    *Future =/= work
    *Work for the rest of your life? (A sign of passion)
    *What if your partner dies before you retire? (Perfectly possible)
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Thanks.

    These were my thoughts prior to creating this thread:

    *The belief that having a partner/children is a "necessity"
    *Wanting to achieve something is apparently selfish
    *Everyone should conform to the marriage/kids game
    *If you don't experience "love", you're not human
    *It's robotic to aim for something else other than relationships
    *Relationships equal happiness
    *Career-driven individuals are ultimately unhappy
    *You're not "human" if you don't want a partner/kids

    Really?

    So much as changed socially, i.e. with regards to ethnic minorities, the female gender, homosexuals etc - but it still seems to be a social stigma to be career-driven as opposed to family-driven. Even to the extent of being called a (and I have heard this) "weird, selfish *****".

    It's interesting (although sad) for some people to INSIST for people on having kids and getting married - for the sake of it? Because everyone is doing it? Why?

    We all have our own lives. Why can't we live how we want it to want we want to do (providing it's beneficial to the world), even if that means not having a partner/kids?

    In what "life book" does it say you HAVE to have a family? Does God deny you entry to heaven for not having a family or something? Are you inferior for having a different opinion?
    I agree with this wholeheartedly, very good post - wish it would let me rep.

    This is something that I was writing about 2 days ago in my reclaim self-confidence post about the fact that we should see the world through our own eyes and not the eyes of other people.

    Brilliant.
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    (Original post by KrazyKro)
    Why have an 'ideal' future when you and your perfect partner can have the best happy future together...
    I.e. giving up everything you desire for that?
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    I wouldn't give up my career/dreams/future...that sounds bad. :s
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    (Original post by Smelly Ellie)
    Then he wouldn't be the perfect partner obviously he'd be a prick!
    :facepalm2:

    You just don't get it.

    Perfect partner or perfect future?

    If you HAD to choose.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Why is it acceptable for love to people to be unconditional, but unconditional love for "goals" to not be (even if what you aspire is completely selfless)?
    Who says a goal can't be unconditional also?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    I'd easily give up the partner. Easily.
    have you ever been in love? dont say that until you have- its not an easy decision

    but having said that i have put myself through hell to get where i am and would hate to waste it- the only thing pushing me through these exams is the thought of my dream at the end.

    equally walking away from my perfect partner would be so hard

    in either situation it is impossible to be totally happy. that said my perfect partner would never take my dreams away from me- so I guess dreams come first
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    It's not supposed to be "realistic", it's about thinking.

    I don't get what you are saying about "trying" (at compromise?).

    No, I'm asking a direct question: would you give up everything about music and all your future ambitions for your dream man? Yes or no?
    I answered your question: yes I would. I used the word "trying" because I certainly wouldn't like it and in such a situation, I think one has to allow for the possibility that I'd not be able to successfully manage it. In this instance "trying" didn't mean compromise. In a real life situation there's no way I'd bow out like that but as you said, you were asking a direct question that didn't allow for compromise :yes:
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    Can this question apply to me too?

    Yes, I will willingly go forward with my dreams.
    Yes.

    Nice of you to say that, guess we're in the minority.

    It's sickening the amount of people who INSIST on having both.

    Good luck. :rolleyes:
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    Never! Career all the way!!!
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    (Original post by carbondummy)
    It doesn't matter what you choose, you can't be happy with one without the other.
    I disagree. You don't need a partner to be happy
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    What if I don't want kids and kids would be a burden on my life? Surely that would make me unhappy, rather than happy?
    What's with all the questions?

    Don't have kids. Simple.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Smelly Ellie)
    That's evil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! You'd let someone die for a perfect job (someone you loved!) :confused::confused::confused:
    What if you're perfect job was helping peace in a certain country? Or helping education free? Or helping disadvantaged people?

    Stop being so close-minded and thinking that job = work = investment banker
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    (Original post by tieyourmotherdown)
    Jesus Christ I don't know.

    I think I'd have to go with ideal dreams. I'm quite an independent person anyway, and at the same time if I'm not doing well (relative to myself) I feel really bad about myself, so I guess dreams are more important than partners to me.

    You don't ask easy questions .
    Is life full of easy decisions?
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    (Original post by albertb)
    guaranteed 90% of the guys vote for Ideal future, and 90% of the girls vote for Perfect partner
    Is that true? That's quite interesting...

    (I'll be happy to explain why I think that).
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    She said I can interpret "die" in any way.. and believe you me, saving a potential 6.5 billion people is worth the death of one individual.
    :five:

    Exactly.

    If anything it's a SELFLESS act. I.e. giving up someone you would want to be with for your whole life for the good of everyone else and the world.

    How is that a bad thing?

    I'm losing out on my future perfect husband so this world can be better.

    And people criticise that?

    :rolleyes:
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Harry.C)
    Very few have ever written a song about their job.
    Having said that, most "love" songs are full of bull**** lyrics.
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    I would sooner be happy with someone to share my life with than unhappy and on my own with all the material things that money from a career would buy.

    It really depends on whether money and careers make you happy or not. Personally being on my own would make me want to cry all the time so a decent career wouldn't make much of a difference. Each to their own. Money of course really helps but it isn't the be all and end all!
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    PS Helper
    Perfect future... No partner..

    Perfect partner will let me persue my dream. :P If he doens't, then he is selfish and not really worth being with.


    EDIT*

    Actually, no... I choose the wrong choice, can i change ti?

    I want to change to having perfect partner and give up my dream...
 
 
 
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