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Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner? Watch

  • View Poll Results: Ideal future or perfect partner?
    Ideal future
    49.38%
    Perfect partner
    50.62%

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    Is this you I'm So Academic? :unsure:

    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by DH-Biker)
    Hmm. So, its either give up biking or she dies / I see her with another man?

    Well, if she was to die, I'd give up biking. However much it means to me, it isn't worth someone's life. So I'd give it up, and aim to be good in something else. Even though I'd still not be with her, it wouldn't be worth anyone's life, really. (Well, aside from obvious exceptions, such as someone who has committed a major-crime, etc)

    To see her with another man. Now that's tough. On one hand, I doubt I'd be around enough with her during a career anyway; so it'd be a more appropriate option on my behalf to say "Look, its best you're with someone else. I can't be around as much as you'd like me too be."
    Alternatively, I don't know whether I'd be able to watch someone as perfect walk away with another guy. However, I'd be worried of it rolling back to the first point in this paragraph; does she really deserve to be alone all the time?

    So yeah:

    If it were she was going to die, I'd immediately give it up. I live for the sport, but it isn't worth someone's life.
    And if I were to see her with another man, I'd probably still go for biking, on the basis that she'd deserve a man around all the time. Or most of the time, at least.
    Interesting, so your limit is death. (Which is fair enough).

    But to see your perfect girl with another man - I can tell if you were in that position, you would be pretty emotional.

    So let's step that up a gear:

    *You are one decision away from FULLY achieving your dream. I.e. if you walk out now, you will get want you desire. The situation is this - the priest (or whatever) asks you to take your perfect girl's hand in marriage. (She hasn't said I do yet).

    However, at the back, is the man who she will marry if you leave. But also at the back is the opportunity to achieve your dream to be the best biker on earth (I believe?).

    So, walk out now - you will become the best biker.
    Say "I do" and you'll be with her - but every hope of being the best biker (or whatever) is gone forever.

    If your relationship fails and she leaves you etc, you can NEVER get your dream back. But if you walk, you'll be the best biker and that - but of course, "perfect girl" marries the guy at the back. (So no chance of getting her back).

    Your perfect girl is waiting. You're getting frustrated at what to do. She says, "decide now".

    What do you do?

    (So this is breaking point. Instead of being a thinking question, now you will use your empathetic skills. Could you desert your emotions for this girl and become the best biker? Could you leave your dream for this girl? (No guarantee of her staying with you - who ever said she will stay with you forever?)).
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    ^ :rofl: @ DWMU

    Tough question....but ultimately I pick the prefect husband....:unsure:
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Yawn11)
    Most people are not doing their ideal job.
    Most people are not with their ideal partner, are divorced and unhappy, widowed early, had numerous successive failed relationships etc etc.
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    (Original post by racello)
    Yes because with my perfect partner comes the ideal future
    When I meant by "future", I mean YOUR goals?

    What do you want to do in life? What do you want to achieve?
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    my dream is to make as many people happy as possible by anumber of things but primarily to become an educational psychologist so i dont think I would be able to give up something like that for anyone. but If i had a partner got married had kids then i would be making someone happy. I know you didnt want any exceptions but this would be my answer
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    (Original post by Yawn11)
    People are willing to work a job they dislike for their family.
    Arguable, is it worth it?

    Would you do the WORST job you can think of for your perfect girl/guy?
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    My perfect partner would support my ideal future/career, so clearly they're not perfect

    Also, I'm probably gonna be a crazy cat lady anyway, I accepted this years ago :sad:
    But what would you do?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Thanks.

    These were my thoughts prior to creating this thread:

    *The belief that having a partner/children is a "necessity"
    *Wanting to achieve something is apparently selfish
    *Everyone should conform to the marriage/kids game
    *If you don't experience "love", you're not human
    *It's robotic to aim for something else other than relationships
    *Relationships equal happiness
    *Career-driven individuals are ultimately unhappy
    *You're not "human" if you don't want a partner/kids

    Really?

    So much as changed socially, i.e. with regards to ethnic minorities, the female gender, homosexuals etc - but it still seems to be a social stigma to be career-driven as opposed to family-driven. Even to the extent of being called a (and I have heard this) "weird, selfish *****".

    It's interesting (although sad) for some people to INSIST for people on having kids and getting married - for the sake of it? Because everyone is doing it? Why?

    We all have our own lives. Why can't we live how we want it to want we want to do (providing it's beneficial to the world), even if that means not having a partner/kids?

    In what "life book" does it say you HAVE to have a family? Does God deny you entry to heaven for not having a family or something? Are you inferior for having a different opinion?
    I whole-heartedly agree with this.Some people feel to need to conform to the social norms i.e they're a slave to society. Just doing what you want to do in life without caring about how other perceive you is admirable.

    TBH I personally don't really really want kids, (well until I'm content in life and I've achieved my aims); and I don't particularly want to be bound to a partner either, I told my mother this and she was horrified. I want to live my dreams and that within itself will bring me blissful happiness.

    Brilliant thread ISA
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    But surely if she did not allow me anything which made me happy she would be the worst possible partner and not a dream partner? Looks are such minor things, it is whether they are like me personality wise, or at least similar enough in nature to make us compatible. If I was not allowed any hobbies I enjoy then what life would I have? I understand sacrificing a career, financial status and such, but taking away everything you enjoy is taking away what makes you who you are....only a monster of a partner would do that..
    Do you know what people give up in the name of "love"?

    How prepared are you for the pursuit of "love"?
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    "A man's life doesn't end when he dies. It ends when he loses his faith."

    -Hanzou

    /thread
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    (Original post by boromir9111)
    But that is not your question, you asked about partner and "perfect" future(no such thing exists lol)........kinda of a silly question considering you're only like 16.......wait a couple of more years until you've matured a little!
    Then go away if you don't want to answer.

    By "future" I mean what YOU want to do in life.
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    (Original post by riotgrrl)
    If I had to choose between the two, I would choose my partner. A stable and loving family life is more important to me than any career- plus I guess I could do volunteering and language classes and fun stuff like that.
    Would you still give up all that for your perfect partner?

    How prepared are you to give up for "love"?
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    You will never know if you have the perfect partner, but no-one can take your education and your career away from you.

    Relationships come and go, why sacrifice your dream for someone that may leave you a couple of years down the line?
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    (Original post by Smelly Ellie)
    Wow no need to get nasty. I'm fairly sure my life won't end up that way.
    I'm sure all those who walk down the aisle would assume they would be with them forever and ever and ever. :love:

    Just look at the divorce rates.

    It's my view, I would pick perfect relationship over perfect career. You asked the question, sorry for answering
    Thank you. You have now answered my question.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    So you can get love from a perfect career?
    What's the appeal with a "family"?
    You can't get valuable memories from a perfect career?
    Who's to say a perfect won't completely satisfy you?
    No, like I said before, I just value family more. Most of my family are dead/ live abroad and so I never see them so being given the opportunity to love and be loved in a relationship and have children and raise them would give me a greater sense of accomplishment. It just isn't in my personality to love work more than my personal life, so if it came to choosing it would be the perfect partner all the way.

    This isn't to say I'm not career driven, I want to work a good 10-15 years before I even start thinking about marriage and babies, but if I HAD to choose, definitely the perfect partner.
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    (Original post by im so academic)

    *Perfect partner
    *Perfect future
    My answer is still perfect partner...
    You know what they say, it's better to have loved and lost...
    Have you ever been in love? Because until you have then you have no clue how amazing it is to find that special someone!
    And yes it is evil to let someone die to pursue your own aims.

    You say it's bad that people think it's selfish to want a career, but then why are you basically saying it's ridiculous to want a family instead? Everyone is entitled to opinions!
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    It's quite sickening to think that many people imply their future career is about making money.

    Don't you have bigger goals than having 9-5? Solving poverty? Curing cancer?

    Just shows how unambitious people are. No wonder people seek refuge to the world of "relationships" and "love" as they are too scared to use this one opportunity for life, go for it and achieve something great.

    No, apparently it's better to be "safe and typical". :rolleyes:
    So would you allow someone you're supposed to love to die for a promising career? In extreme cases like that, it tests the importance that lies with you and what your priorities are. That'd always be a burden on you and a loss of love, which I believe would be much stronger than any satisfaction a career can bring.

    I think that your view on love is that people are so stupid and naive with love, with quick committments, rash decisions, arguments and then higher divorce rates as a result. Things like that enrage me too and probably why I wouldn't go into a relationship with any odd guy.

    The view I have is be happy with yourself, maybe be satisfied in your career and discovering yourself THEN settle down with someone you love, maybe a family. Good retirement overall and I think that's what everyone's desirable outcome is.
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    (Original post by T-Toe)
    I whole-heartedly agree with this. People feel to need to conform to the social norms i.e they're a slave to society. Just doing what you want to do in life without caring about how other perceive you is admirable.

    TBH I personally don't really really want kids, (well until I'm content in life and I've achieved my aims); and I don't particularly want to be bound to a partner either, I told my mother this and she was horrified. I want to live my dreams and that within itself will bring me blissful happiness.

    Brilliant thread ISA
    You are serious?


    (Original post by im so academic)
    Arguable, is it worth it?

    Would you do the WORST job you can think of for your perfect girl/guy?
    Yes. As long as it gets me money.
    Even if it's just a farm job, cleaning .... I would do it.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Kaykiie)
    It says somewhere in this thread that you can tell if someone's passionate about their dream/ subject if they're willing to give up their perfect partner for it.

    Well that's ********. I'd give up my career for my boyfriend, doesn't mean I'm not passionate about what I want to do it means that in this hypothetical situation I couldn't live a happy life without him.

    Thankfully in real life we can have both
    So you couldn't live a happy life without him, but you're implying you can live a happy life without your boyfriend?

    That doesn't sound like "passion" to me.

    Yeah, in real life you can have both, but don't ever assume it can happen.

    ESPECIALLY since you cannot control love, but to a greater extent, you can control your career.
 
 
 
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