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Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner? watch

  • View Poll Results: Ideal future or perfect partner?
    Ideal future
    49.38%
    Perfect partner
    50.62%

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    I gave up my dreams of an amazing career for the perfect partner - 6.5 years later we split up and I lost the opportunity to go to central saint martins and a work placement with my favorite designer Alexander McQueen who's now dead!! Now im 24 and reapplying to the school i shouldve gone to when i was a teenager but instead listened to him saying we could have such a nice life together if i worked and ended up working for the NHS!!!.....Now im with a guy who has said he'll stick by me no matter what my choice is and even though it means he'll have to pay for most of everything he wants me to be happy so encouraged me to apply for uni again! And if it all goes wrong then atleast i applied for uni! And now im the one having the difficult time because i never thought I'd want kids but i turned 23 and that was it - i got all maternal!!!! scary....
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    "A man's life doesn't end when he dies. It ends when he loses his faith."

    -Hanzou

    /thread
    Your sig quote = amazing :yep:
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    (Original post by T-Toe)
    I'll be waiting...

    BTW I mean't 'some people' just in case people throw the generalisation card at me.
    Then I have nothing to say to you.
    I was about to state I am not a social slave and I don't have kids or be in a relationship because it's evolution, social things, nature.... :P I don't even think having kids is important. What important fo rme is to be with someone I love and someone that love me. Career don't give me that.

    If I was to asnwer you if will be in more details.


    I will get back to ISA soon. Maybe tomorrow Really need to do this Georgers HW.
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    Well my perfect partner wouldn't make me choose between him and a future career.

    But if you want a straight answer then a perfect relationship, for the pure fact that I don't actually have any goals in life or have a specific career path I passionately want to pursue. As long as they're making money enough for the both us then I'd be cool with not ever having a good career
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    (Original post by T-Toe)
    I whole-heartedly agree with this. People feel to need to conform to the social norms i.e they're a slave to society. Just doing what you want to do in life without caring about how other perceive you is admirable.

    TBH I personally don't really really want kids, (well until I'm content in life and I've achieved my aims); and I don't particularly want to be bound to a partner either, I told my mother this and she was horrified. I want to live my dreams and that within itself will bring me blissful happiness.

    Brilliant thread ISA
    Thanks.

    Now, I'm not hating on people who want a family/kids, but it's not "selfish" to do what you want - especially if it's for the pursuit of helping others.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Would you drop out of university for your perfect partner?
    Let me tell you this, I doubt it will change your perceptions, but at least it might let ground you a little.

    My dad died 2 years ago, I still can't get over it. I would give up my first class degree, my future, my friends, **** even an arm or a leg just to see him again for one single ****ing day. That's how much I miss him.

    You don't realise until the people you care about are gone just how trivial "accomplishments" really are. Getting my degree meant nothing to me because my dad wasn't there to see me receive it. It's just a piece of ****ing paper.

    I hope one day you come to understand that.
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    "A man's life doesn't end when he dies. It ends when he loses his faith."

    -Hanzou

    /thread
    In fact, I'd add on another bit, "And a man's life doesn't begin until he has acquired thought".
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    I'll probably never face this since my dreams aren't THAT big, but I would say perfect career.
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    Worrying to witness how many people are choosing a partner simply for their reproductive ability.
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    (Original post by Smelly Ellie)
    My answer is still perfect partner...
    You know what they say, it's better to have loved and lost...
    Says who?

    Have you ever been in love? Because until you have then you have no clue how amazing it is to find that special someone!
    PM me with regards to that. There's a specific reason why I said "perfect partner" as opposed to "true love".

    And yes it is evil to let someone die to pursue your own aims.
    Is it kinder to "kill" (metaphorical speaking) your perfect partner in order for the whole world to be better?

    You say it's bad that people think it's selfish to want a career, but then why are you basically saying it's ridiculous to want a family instead? Everyone is entitled to opinions!
    You misunderstood me:

    *It's OK to be career-driven.
    *It's OK to be family-driven.
    *It's not OK to enforce your choice of life onto others.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Yes.

    Nice of you to say that, guess we're in the minority.

    It's sickening the amount of people who INSIST on having both.

    Good luck. :rolleyes:
    People are going to insist because you posed the question as if they are mutually exclusive. From a skim of this thread, it seems that you prioritised a career above relationships, created a straw man that everyone opposes and imposes this view, then proceeded to irascibly argue the other way. I don't get it, who actually tells you that you musn't place your career above relationships/family? The poll is pretty much 50:50, and people have given their answer based on which would make them happier, not what one *should* do. I don't think it's a social stigma as you're making it out to be.

    The question doesn't warrant a simple, direct answer because choosing and getting a perfect, future option is clearly implausible. The actual matter would seem to be whether greater happiness would stem from pursuing one or the other. But it's impossible to answer this with a significant degree of certainty. The attainablilty of an ideal career is relatively small compared to the attainability of an ideal relationship/family; I think this is evident from how many people hate their jobs, or at least don't enjoy them. What's your dream career? I would assume that for most people such a career would not be easy to obtain, and that it would not be worth setting life on one course for an uncertain chance to get it.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    In fact, I'd add on another bit, "And a man's life doesn't begin until he has acquired thought".
    Brilliant. I read that in the Law of Success by Napoleon Hill.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    What if your perfect job was doing something you love with a really **** wage?

    Perfect job =/= IB banker
    I don't have a perfect job. my ideal life would be to do absolutely nothing and still bring in money somehow. as that's not very realistic, i'd much rather have a sexy wife and do a job i hate than 'do nothing' but spend all my time entirely alone.

    i've never understood those with ambition or motivation tbh, i can't imagine what it's like to be driven towards any kind of career goal, be it IB, law or chocolate taster. all i want is a simple, quiet, stress free life.
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    (Original post by DanielleT192)
    So would you allow someone you're supposed to love to die for a promising career? In extreme cases like that, it tests the importance that lies with you and what your priorities are. That'd always be a burden on you and a loss of love, which I believe would be much stronger than any satisfaction a career can bring.
    Yes, as it depends on the career, wouldn't it?

    I think that your view on love is that people are so stupid and naive with love, with quick committments, rash decisions, arguments and then higher divorce rates as a result. Things like that enrage me too and probably why I wouldn't go into a relationship with any odd guy.
    Stupid? Naive?

    What about the people who DO rush into marriage because they feel pressured to do so because society says "do it"?

    The view I have is be happy with yourself, maybe be satisfied in your career and discovering yourself THEN settle down with someone you love, maybe a family. Good retirement overall and I think that's what everyone's desirable outcome is.
    No, not necessarily.
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    (Original post by boromir9111)
    Your sig quote = amazing :yep:
    Thank you my good man
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    (Original post by Smelly Ellie)
    I answered you question in my first post.

    PERFECT PARTNER you said, that = loves you for ever and ever unconditionally. Unless by perfect partner you mean idiot that would marry you and then leave, because that's not how I interpret it?
    No, you could meet your "perfect partner" and 5 years down the line, they are not perfect anymore.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Not the pseudo-biology. :facepalm2:
    How is it pseudo-biology? would you like to tell me? this is all darwin, and you can't make your claims of career success over family fit.


    Certain traits make for evolutionary success, and those are the traits that will subsequently dominate the gene pool. The system only works if you are actually passing on your genes, otherewise everthing would die out. Therefore, there should be an intrinsic desire in creatures to have children.

    Being social was a successful trait, so is passed on.
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    I nearly did for what I thought the perfect partner was.
    Certainly gave me a reality check and made me realise what I was giving up was a part of me. The way I see it you are either career orientated or not and if you try to compromise your career for your perfect partner you will always resent your decision.

    The perfect partner for me understands the demands of my career and what I have to do to get to the top. Guess I am lucky because my bf had a demanding job and also is completing his PHD so knows the demands needed in the corporate world :-)
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    I guess perfect to me would mean having a decent salary(it's not a priority obv. but in the long-term), and while I wouldn't like to be dependent I'm guessing 'cause he'd be perfect it wouldn't matter anyway 'cause I'd be fine with it, so I guess I'd go with that.
    If we spent the rest of our lives together, if it was just a couple of years then I don't think so.
    I don't know though tbh, both are important to me. When I think about my future I think more about what career I'd have than who I'd be dating(I actually don't think about the latter all that much at all).
    EMZ=]
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    (Original post by Harry.C)
    Being social was a successful trait, so is passed on.
    lolwut. Being social is an inherited trait? I think someone needs to go back to school.
 
 
 
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