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Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner? Watch

  • View Poll Results: Ideal future or perfect partner?
    Ideal future
    49.38%
    Perfect partner
    50.62%

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    (Original post by IlexBlue)
    Have you ever actually been in love?
    I have. In fact, it's what has led me down the path I am at now. But what I'm talking about here completely transcends it. I don't expect you to understand, because if you did, you wouldn't be asking me such a question.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    To state the parameters of this question (as it could be interpreted in different ways):

    *Pretend you have not experienced your dream/future/career, i.e. to be an investment banker or to travel around the world. So it is NOT a case of "yeah, when I'll give up my career half-way through". No, it's one or the other.

    *Your dream or whatever cannot be finding "true love" or "happiness" or any of that wishy-washy crap. Just definite and specific goals. No emotions included, it has to be an actual goal.

    *To reiterate once again, it is a ONE or the OTHER choice. No best of both worlds in this case.

    I edited this bit as people are going down the "compromise" route, i.e. they'll take the perfect partner with a not so perfect career. So the situation is changed. NO compromise. It's:

    *Perfect partner + ****/no career
    *Perfect career + ****/no partner


    Also, no exploiting any loopholes.

    Thanks. Interested in your opinions.
    haha i love how you phrased this question so all the smart a$ TSRs cant try to say wimpy stuff like
    "my true partner would share my dreams with me"
    "happiness is my goal and so my dream is a combination/compromise of both"

    im 25 and have seen loads of girls at uni with good degrees who were aspiring doctors, barristers, etc give up and take [email protected] jobs that dont need a degree, like working in shops or personal training/gym cleaning, just so they can move closer to their current bf and plan their life around spending the most time with him. Also pushing toward 30, the majority of women turn marriage and baby crazy and that is their all absorbing goal in life :rolleyes:

    its rubbish. im single and a financial advisor. although i could do with a good [email protected] now and again, im cool with being single and grungy
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    (Original post by Janey142)
    If it was between my bf (who I consider to be my perfect partner) and my dreams i'd happily stay as I am, working to make ends meet in a job I don't really like all that much. I work to live, not live to work. As long as I can come home to him and we get by i'd be happy.
    this ^^ is exactly what nearly all the girls i know feel like.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    PM me.
    Areyou suggesting that you will still be on TSR in the next 30 years? :O I will PM you that's only if I am not busy wiht my kids.


    (Original post by im so academic)
    Same could be said to someone who wants a family, they have a family... and then what?
    Onve you have family, generally you are supposed to have some people who cares abouty oua nd will always be by your side. You send your kids to go to school and watch them grow up and achieve good results in exams. You will encourage your kid to do whatever he wants to do (only good things, of course). Once you get older and older they come round and visit you, bring in your grandchildren who will run around in the house and make you laugh. When you get really old, you have a big family, you get to live to tell the tales to your grandchildren about when you were young and what you experience in your whole life. (You can live that long if you choose career, too )

    When you die, at your funeral people (your grandchildrens, your sons/daugthers and your husband etc.) will gather around your coffin and cry for your leaving.

    That, for me, is happiness. I love it when everytime I come home I can feel the warmth of family.



    (Original post by im so academic)
    Not me.
    You don't know that. If you age is truely just 15/16 years old, you probably have not got to work yet.

    At some point in your life, you will need someone. You will love him and will want to spend time with him.

    For this question, in reality people will try to keep both. Perfect man will often encourage you to do whatever you want e.g. persue your dream. So both can definitely happen at the same time. For me, if I had to choose, I will go for my perfect partner. Because, well, he is perfect and I will probably want to live with him for the whole life.
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    (Original post by natashapt)
    A family is different to a career. Once you have reached the highest point in your career, there is no furthering yourself. With a family, it will keep growing and there will always be higher points than the last, seeing your childrens first steps, watching them graduate, walking them down the aisle, seeing your grandkids. There's never any boundaries when it comes to families..

    Exactly what I am trying to point out. Thank you.
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    (Original post by undermyskin)
    The concept is that you are putting career before family. It does not say that you would never settle down. You could have a successful job, money and also someone. It is about the point where that person comes into your life and where abouts you prioritise that. Turn the idea on its head what is the point in compromising a really successful job for the sake of a relationship with a "perfect" partner who you may not be with in 10 years time and by then may not be able to pursue your career to the same level should you have other financial, family commitments.
    I probably still would, I don't think someone "perfect" comes along very often. But then I've never really been massive on finding a really good career and working my way to the top, I'm more a work to live kind of person!
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    Definitely give up dreams - there's no point in having it all if you've no one to share it with. It'd be incredibly lonely.
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    I'm sticking with the career. By my definition, a perfect partner wouldn't get in the way of my career so this is a bit of a non-question for me. I'd rather be single and have a good career, anyway, no partner doesn't necessarily mean alone. Single people can be parents and have social lives, you don't have to have a partner.
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    (Original post by philistine)
    I have. In fact, it's what has led me down the path I am at now. But what I'm talking about here completely transcends it. I don't expect you to understand, because if you did, you wouldn't be asking me such a question.
    And from that I'm assuming it didn't end well.
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    Yeah
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    (Original post by street.lovin')
    Onve you have family, generally you are supposed to have some people who cares abouty oua nd will always be by your side. You send your kids to go to school and watch them grow up and achieve good results in exams. You will encourage your kid to do whatever he wants to do (only good things, of course). Once you get older and older they come round and visit you, bring in your grandchildren who will run around in the house and make you laugh. When you get really old, you have a big family, you get to live to tell the tales to your grandchildren about when you were young and what you experience in your whole life. (You can live that long if you choose career, too )
    Even though I voted I'd choose my partner, this is a really naive and oversimplified view of what it is to have children.
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    (Original post by natashapt)
    A family is different to a career. Once you have reached the highest point in your career, there is no furthering yourself. With a family, it will keep growing and there will always be higher points than the last, seeing your childrens first steps, watching them graduate, walking them down the aisle, seeing your grandkids. There's never any boundaries when it comes to families..

    Who says they will necessarily graduate, walk down the aisle or have children?
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    I'd give up anything for my partner. I'd rather be poor and happy.
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    no. if they were perfect they'd support my aspirations and i wouldn't have to sacrifice them after all if i'm going to be working for a good 40 or so years i want to be happy with my career - what's the point of working just for the sake of earining money?
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    (Original post by DH-Biker)
    No. Biking is my life.

    It has shaped everything about me, and however perfect I think said person is, I'd take biking every time. :cool:

    Edit: Good question by the way, ISA. :yep:
    But what if you were in an accident whilst biking and you couldn't do it anymore. Then you're left with nothing.

    (Clearly I hope you don't have an accident)
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    (Original post by Cicerao)
    Even though I voted I'd choose my partner, this is a really naive and oversimplified view of what it is to have children.

    (Original post by Cicerao)
    Who says they will necessarily graduate, walk down the aisle or have children?

    How is it naive? I would love my family to be like that. Of course having kids is not as easy as I said. They aren't necessarily going to graduate, walk down the aisle or have children. I would not force them to do that either. But I was just suggesting that this is what you could potentially get from having family and not from career. I was just trying to portray the benefits of my decision to choose partner. Not all families are like that but it does not mean it's impossible. :P ... Also ISA was saying that ''having partner and family and then what?'' so I told her what could happen after that. I just only stated the good things that could happen, that's all.

    There is no limited to being happy with family, but for career once you reached the highest point then there is nothing you can do further.

    Still, in reality, people will try to keep both. (I will definitely try, but in this question I will choose my partner.)
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    (Original post by street.lovin')
    How is it naive? I would love my family to be like that. Of course having kids is not as easy as I said. They aren't necessarily going to graduate, walk down the aisle or have children. I would not force them to do that either. But I was just suggesting that this is what you could potentially get from having family and not from career. I was just trying to portray the benefits of my decision to choose partner. Not all families are like that but it does not mean it's impossible. :P ... Also ISA was saying that ''having partner and family and then what?'' so I told her what could happen after that. I just only stated the good things that could happen, that's all.

    There is no limited to being happy with family, but for career once you reached the highest point then there is nothing you can do further.

    Still, in reality, people will try to keep both. (I will definitely try, but in this question I will choose my partner.)
    It's naive because it's a list of Kodak moments which are often far from the reality. I'm sure my grandmother expected grandchildren running round happily and her children visiting all the time. She got put in the nursing home which my father went to very infrequently. I'm sure my mother expected her children to get good grades. My sister has no GCSEs and lives on the dole. I'm sure she expected a close family visiting each other. I'm 5 hours away and later moving to Brazil.

    Don't kid yourself that your kids will do exactly as you imagine because you'll "bring them up" in a certain way. Your kids could end up close to you and have grandchildren "making you laugh." Or they could end up on the dole, move 5 hours away, be childless and never see you. And that is the reality of having children.
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    (Original post by Eloise987)
    But what if you were in an accident whilst biking and you couldn't do it anymore. Then you're left with nothing.

    (Clearly I hope you don't have an accident)
    Then there'd be nothing left. Gone. Chance blown. And I shouldn't have made the mistake that lead to it, and it'd have been my own fault.

    But yeah, I agree: I do hope that doesn't happen.
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    (Original post by Cicerao)
    Who says they will necessarily graduate, walk down the aisle or have children?
    That's not the point. What I'm trying to say is that there are so many different options when it comes to having a family, it is limitless the joy they can potentially give you. Once you have fulfilled your career and gotten to where you want to be, what next? This is only my opinion, for some people a career would be their most fulfillling thing and would keep them happy, for me, I know to be happy and in love with my perfect partner would greatly outweigh that.
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    (Original post by Supermassive_muse_fan)
    Would pick perfect career every single time.

    Surprised by the poll results, would have thought ideal future > perfect partner given its TSR.
    And this is TSR. In real life, the proportion who go for ideal future would probably be even less.
 
 
 
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