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Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner? watch

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  • View Poll Results: Ideal future or perfect partner?
    Ideal future
    49.38%
    Perfect partner
    50.62%

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    (Original post by im so academic)
    What I meant was that, in order to fulfil your ambitions, you had to give up your partner. And if you were with your partner, you had to let go of your ambitions. IRRELEVANT whether your perfect partner would allow you to do achieve your dreams.

    Especially since my ideal future is WITHOUT children - what guy doesn't want children?
    Hmm... my ideal future is not about materialistic needs (i.e. money) - should mention that. I could do without a 'perfect' partner to achieve my ambitions. But what I write on this thread isn't changing the way I want my life, I'm only stating it's possible for me to be successful and achieve my ideal 'plans' but I still want a perfect partner and since my future is WITH children, I still want a perfect partner :p:
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    To be perfectly honest. The OP's question is dependent on what your dreams actually are. I mean most people haven't really thought about what they want in life so they just say partner - and yeah it relatively makes sense. However, if you have passionate dreams, big dreams - not things like climbing the corporate ladder, I mean big, large dreams that you are enthusiastic about. Even though everyone is different, I'm certain that 9/10 would favour dreams > partner.

    Many people are just brought up to believe that Dreams/Career = Money =/ Happiness which is nonsense.

    As I said, I wouldn't mind having JSA money as my wage because my dream is just too much to give up for another person. It's not even selfish it just makes sense.

    Sure if you can only see your "best future" as a top whatever, then you're limited once you reach that rank. However if you escalate your dream/career to the next level your mind will be blown.

    Maybe a preliminary thread should have been made..

    "What are your dreams?"

    The answers you receive from that thread would determine the results from this thread.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Of course, but when it boils down to it - which is more important to you?

    Also, what guy doesn't want children? I don't want children, you think a guy would be interested in me if I told him straight "I don't want kids and I don't want marriage"?
    (Original post by im so academic)
    So? I have other things in my life I want to do.

    "Successful/meaningful" relationships aren't the be all or the end all of life.
    Neither is more or less important to me. I want both. I can have both. Both will take priority at different points in my life, but neither will be more or less significant than the other.

    Plenty of blokes don't want kids or marriage either, just as plenty of women don't.

    I'm perfectly aware of that, thank you. I just don't think you should say I want X, which means I have to give up Y, if you want something enough, you can have it. You don't have to give up getting married and having children because you want to have a successful career.

    You have a strange approach to life, I hope it works out for you - I fear you may end up very lonely.
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    Thread is fail, the perfect partner by definition would not stop you having a perfect carreer
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    To be perfectly honest. The OP's question is dependent on what your dreams actually are. I mean most people haven't really thought about what they want in life so they just say partner - and yeah it relatively makes sense. However, if you have passionate dreams, big dreams - not things like climbing the corporate ladder, I mean big, large dreams that you are enthusiastic about. Even though everyone is different, I'm certain that 9/10 would favour dreams > partner.

    Many people are just brought up to believe that Dreams/Career = Money =/ Happiness which is nonsense.

    As I said, I wouldn't mind having JSA money as my wage because my dream is just too much to give up for another person. It's not even selfish it just makes sense.

    Sure if you can only see your "best future" as a top whatever, then you're limited once you reach that rank. However if you escalate your dream/career to the next level your mind will be blown.

    Maybe a preliminary thread should have been made..

    "What are your dreams?"

    The answers you receive from that thread would determine the results from this thread.
    The reason why I didn't create such a preliminary thread was that I assumed people on this site would "dream big" and just wanting to get any graduate job that pays well.

    So what does this show about the state of affairs?

    "If you are not ready to go for a dream, take the second and more typical route - have a family with a house and a mortgage and lose the potential you were born with to achieve something great".

    Also "those who have courage are the ones to go against societal norms".

    Hmm, lots of relatively unambitious people on this site tbh. Oh and before you say aiming for a "a husband/wife with kids" is not ambitious or unique or great. It's typical.
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    (Original post by DiZZeeKiD)
    You have a strange approach to life, I hope it works out for you - I fear you may end up very lonely.
    Strange because I don't want a guy and 2.4 kids?

    Fine, I'll rather be called "strange" and do my life in my own way.

    Call me strange, like I care.

    I'd rather be strange than "typical" and "normal".

    End up lonely? No, I really wouldn't.
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    (Original post by Powerlifter)
    Thread is fail, the perfect partner by definition would not stop you having a perfect carreer
    By "perfect" I meant the aesthetic/personality qualities you would want in your dream partner. Would you give up for ambitions for it?
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    do you mind me asking, how old ar you? its unusual to see a girl who is so independant!! you go girl! problem is when girls like you hit 23 and everyone is giving up everything to let their life revolve abut a dude, it is hard NOT to do that
    She is around 15-16. I chose 'perfect partner', but I am pretty sure I won't let my life revolve about a dude when my age hit 23. But I know that most girls will be like that, though. :P So, I agree with you.

    im so academic might have never experienced being in a relationship, being liked/loved by someone other than family, that's why she is very independent. But at this age, things change very easily. Once she experienced all that her opinion might change. If it doesn't, well done her.

    I am not saying being independent is not good. People can live without having partner but it doesn't mean you will be depending on them if you choose them rather than career.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    The reason why I didn't create such a preliminary thread was that I assumed people on this site would "dream big" and just wanting to get any graduate job that pays well.

    So what does this show about the state of affairs?

    "If you are not ready to go for a dream, take the second and more typical route - have a family with a house and a mortgage and lose the potential you were born with to achieve something great".

    Also "those who have courage are the ones to go against societal norms".

    Hmm, lots of relatively unambitious people on this site tbh. Oh and before you say aiming for a "a husband/wife with kids" is not ambitious or unique or great. It's typical.
    Perhaps it is a typical dream because it is a good dream?
    What's your dream then?
    It's not courageous to pick a dream that is different from other peoples, no one cares?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    By "perfect" I meant the aesthetic/personality qualities you would want in your dream partner. Would you give up for ambitions for it?
    Still fails, if they had the personality qualities for a dream partner said dream pertner would be supporting you in your own aspirations and dreams.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Strange because I don't want a guy and 2.4 kids?

    Fine, I'll rather be called "strange" and do my life in my own way.

    Call me strange, like I care.

    I'd rather be strange than "typical" and "normal".

    End up lonely? No, I really wouldn't.
    You think choosing perfect partner mean you will be 'typical' and 'normal'?

    I dont think choosing career is strange, though, if that's what you really want.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Strange because I don't want a guy and 2.4 kids?

    Fine, I'll rather be called "strange" and do my life in my own way.

    Call me strange, like I care.

    I'd rather be strange than "typical" and "normal".

    End up lonely? No, I really wouldn't.
    Nope. Just because you think you have to choose between the two. Don't be so defensive, jus sayin'.

    It's also "typical" and "normal" to want a good career. Don't think you're the only female who wants to be successful.

    By all means, do life in your own way. I just think when you've grown up a bit, you might want different things.
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    (Original post by Powerlifter)
    Still fails, if they had the personality qualities for a dream partner said dream pertner would be supporting you in your own aspirations and dreams.
    How does it fail?

    It's just a question: would you prefer perfect career or perfect partner?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    The reason why I didn't create such a preliminary thread was that I assumed people on this site would "dream big" and just wanting to get any graduate job that pays well.

    So what does this show about the state of affairs?

    "If you are not ready to go for a dream, take the second and more typical route - have a family with a house and a mortgage and lose the potential you were born with to achieve something great".

    Also "those who have courage are the ones to go against societal norms".

    Hmm, lots of relatively unambitious people on this site tbh. Oh and before you say aiming for a "a husband/wife with kids" is not ambitious or unique or great. It's typical.
    Agreed.

    Most people are just unsure of what they want. When I was at the Warrior Forum, almost 95% of the members preferred their dreams to a partner. There is only so much a partner can do.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    The reason why I didn't create such a preliminary thread was that I assumed people on this site would "dream big" and just wanting to get any graduate job that pays well.

    So what does this show about the state of affairs?

    "If you are not ready to go for a dream, take the second and more typical route - have a family with a house and a mortgage and lose the potential you were born with to achieve something great".

    Also "those who have courage are the ones to go against societal norms".

    Hmm, lots of relatively unambitious people on this site tbh. Oh and before you say aiming for a "a husband/wife with kids" is not ambitious or unique or great. It's typical.
    You think I am unambitious becaus eI chose my perfect partner rather than being a Nobel Prize Winner? :O What's wrong with having a typical dream? It's typical, and so what? Everybody is different.

    You told me you already have got over the fact that some people choose love over career, but you still go against their opinion and indirectly insulted them for being 'typical'. Keep chasing them to the corner because they have opporsite opinion to you. I even saw some of your previous post that you said 'you can't stand it when people go for love rather than career' (or something like that)... Why can't you stand it? It doesn't affect you. :O
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    Agreed.

    Most people are just unsure of what they want. When I was at the Warrior Forum, almost 95% of the members preferred their dreams to a partner. There is only so much a partner can do.
    In fact, the idea of a "perfect partner" is flawed.

    You would never have the complete freedom to what you want. There will always be the thought at the back of your mind that you could've done something or been something if you weren't stuck with having kids.

    A perfect partner can never fill the the potential you had. Perhaps they might, but, really?
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    Perfect partner definitely. You can't have kids with your job.


    Well, I suppose technically you could if you were a professional sperm donor...


    Is that even a thing? :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by street.lovin')
    You think I am unambitious becaus eI chose my perfect partner rather than being a Nobel Prize Winner? :O What's wrong with having a typical dream? It's typical, and so what? Everybody is different.
    No, rather because more or less everyone wants a family, it is unambitious to aim for a family too. Why go with the flow? (Unless that's actually what you want).

    You told me you already have got over the fact that some people choose love over career, but you still go against their opinion and indirectly insulted them for being 'typical'.
    It is typical.

    Keep chasing them to the corner because they have opporsite opinion to you. I even saw some of your previous post that you said 'you can't stand it when people go for love rather than career' (or something like that)... Why can't you stand it? It doesn't affect you. :O
    Never said that.
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    :nooo: Dreams all the way :yep:

    but why can't you have both or at least someone close to perfect? :dontknow:
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    In fact, the idea of a "perfect partner" is flawed.

    You would never have the complete freedom to what you want. There will always be the thought at the back of your mind that you could've done something or been something if you weren't stuck with having kids.

    A perfect partner can never fill the the potential you had. Perhaps they might, but, really?
    Exactly. That's why a couple of pages ago I said that someone who just settles to stay at home with their perfect partner and have babies all day might feel dissatisfied with the life they're living or jealous of their 'perfect partner'.

    Interesting. Imagine if your 'perfect partner' had a perfect career, I think that would surely make some people feel bad and they could fester some hate for their partner being smarter/more successful than they are.
 
 
 
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