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Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner? watch

  • View Poll Results: Ideal future or perfect partner?
    Ideal future
    49.38%
    Perfect partner
    50.62%

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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    haha i love how you phrased this question so all the smart a$ TSRs cant try to say wimpy stuff like
    "my true partner would share my dreams with me"
    "happiness is my goal and so my dream is a combination/compromise of both"

    im 25 and have seen loads of girls at uni with good degrees who were aspiring doctors, barristers, etc give up and take [email protected] jobs that dont need a degree, like working in shops or personal training/gym cleaning, just so they can move closer to their current bf and plan their life around spending the most time with him. Also pushing toward 30, the majority of women turn marriage and baby crazy and that is their all absorbing goal in life :rolleyes:

    its rubbish. im single and a financial advisor. although i could do with a good [email protected] now and again, im cool with being single and grungy

    Some people's lives don't revolve around their job and theres nothing wrong with wanting children when your nearly 30, it's a natural desire for most. It's just down to the individual. For me, I wouldn't like to be say 35, alone, no children and have a stressful job but that's just me. I'd rather have a job to pay the bills, and have other people than myself to care for, which I see as more selfless than doing what I want and reaping the benefits for only myself.
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    Wow, I'm really surprised that perfect partner is winning (on TSR!!!).. although I voted that too.
    I imagine that my perfect partner will fit in/ change my ideal future anyway.
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    (Original post by Wilzyy)
    Wow, I'm really surprised that perfect partner is winning (on TSR!!!).. although I voted that too.
    I imagine that my perfect partner will fit in/ change my ideal future anyway.
    People aren't as career heavy as they like to think.
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    People aren't as career heavy as they like to think.
    It's nice to know, I have to say.
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    No, becuase I worked hard for the career. Also, because its stupid.
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    People aren't as career heavy as they like to think.
    I think most people are unsure about what they really want to do with their lives, and thus go on the default option. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by sugar_and_spice)
    I probably still would, I don't think someone "perfect" comes along very often. But then I've never really been massive on finding a really good career and working my way to the top, I'm more a work to live kind of person!
    I think it really does depend on the person, if you do not have a career aim before the perfect partner comes along then you would know no different. I found a job I liked early on and progressed so far but the relationship I was in was restricting me and holding me back, I always resented not being able to do things because I felt it would break the loyalty of the relationship. On hindsight I realise the perfect partner accepts me and my ambitions regardless of when they occur.
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    I would've said yes a year ago but it is a NO
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    I think most people are unsure about what they really want to do with their lives, and thus go on the default option. :rolleyes:
    Yeah. I believe I made an analogy in my reclaim motivation posts about people taking the bus and telling the driver to take them anywhere, that anywhere will do and they don't mind..

    Goals must be as definite as possible.
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    Yeah. I believe I made an analogy in my reclaim motivation posts about people taking the bus and telling the driver to take them anywhere, that anywhere will do and they don't mind..

    Goals must be as definite as possible.
    "The earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and in triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of the dot on scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner of the dot. How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity -- in all this vastness -- there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. It is up to us. It's been said that astronomy is a humbling, and I might add, a character-building experience. To my mind, there is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly and compassionately with one another and to preserve and cherish that pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."
    — Carl Sagan
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    In this hypothetical situation, I would always choose perfect partner. But, as I don't believe that 'perfect' can exist, in reality I would have be sensible and go for career.
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    (Original post by gradjobplease)
    "The earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and in triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of the dot on scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner of the dot. How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity -- in all this vastness -- there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. It is up to us. It's been said that astronomy is a humbling, and I might add, a character-building experience. To my mind, there is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly and compassionately with one another and to preserve and cherish that pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."
    — Carl Sagan
    Ok, I've read it, but what is he really saying? That we should care for eachother? If that's the case, he agrees with my life goal.
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    Ok, I've read it, but what is he really saying? That we should care for eachother? If that's the case, he agrees with my life goal.
    You'd be willling the forgo the closest person to you to achieve this though? Can you not see the irony?
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    (Original post by gradjobplease)
    You'd be willling the forgo the closest person to you to achieve this though? Can you not see the irony?
    If it means achieving what I ought to achieve (which is not money) then yes to both questions. I can see irony but still, sometimes tough decisions are to be made.

    However if there is evil on the path of my goal and the closest person to me is letting me know, then i'd leave my goal.
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    I would never give up my boyfriend.
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    (Original post by gradjobplease)
    "The earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and in triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of the dot on scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner of the dot. How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity -- in all this vastness -- there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. It is up to us. It's been said that astronomy is a humbling, and I might add, a character-building experience. To my mind, there is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly and compassionately with one another and to preserve and cherish that pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."
    — Carl Sagan
    Your point being?
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    If it means achieving what I ought to achieve (which is not money) then yes to both questions. I can see irony but still, sometimes tough decisions are to be made.

    However if there is evil on the path of my goal and the closest person to me is letting me know, then i'd leave my goal.
    I don't want to sound anti-ambition, because I'm really not. I'm probably one of the most ambitious amongst my friends and I think its a very laudable aim what you are trying to achieve. I truly hope you succeed in what you set out to do.

    I just think, from experience, it is our relationships to those who we choose to have closest to us is what truly defines us. I just worry what happens with some people that those who aim for very big goals above else, but don't achieve them. Some people in this situation have felt like they have nothing left to live for, completely ignoring the people who are looking out for their best interests.
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    Both of these situations won't work. If you had an amazing career (which would most likely pay loads, mine does at least) then why wouldn't you find a decent partner and there is no such thing as a "perfect partner".

    If I had to choose, although I don't really have either in mind; a future career in Psychology would beat "perfect partner" as I will be helping people and myself doing what I enjoy (plus the money doesn't hurt). Also, I would donate to charity.

    Therefore, having a "perfect partner" is selfish as most likely you would be poor as hell (although, the "perfect partner" should be a billionaire or something or else he ain't as "perfect" as he thinks is) and would be barely making enough money to live. So, choosing that route is volunteering to be poor and believe it or not, it would cause arguments as you (no where did it say that you automatically become "perfect") will think that your parter is holding you back and making life a struggle to live (especially with kids). On a last note, the only people that benefit from picking the "perfect partner" are themselves (obviously, even if you're not perfect) and you.
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    (Original post by gradjobplease)
    I don't want to sound anti-ambition, because I'm really not. I'm probably one of the most ambitious amongst my friends and I think its a very laudable aim what you are trying to achieve. I truly hope you succeed in what you set out to do.

    I just think, from experience, it is our relationships to those who we choose to have closest to us is what truly defines us. I just worry what happens with some people that those who aim for very big goals above else, but don't achieve them. Some people in this situation have felt like they have nothing left to live for, completely ignoring the people who are looking out for their best interests.
    Yeah I understand where you're coming from. Relationships do make a part of me but since this thread is purely hypothetical, all my responses are hypothetical as well.
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    A certain amount of 'Ideal Future' would be needed to sustain the 'Perfect Partner'...
 
 
 
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