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Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner? Watch

  • View Poll Results: Ideal future or perfect partner?
    Ideal future
    49.38%
    Perfect partner
    50.62%

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    (Original post by kaosu_souzousha)
    Perfect career = a lot of sex what else do you need?
    What a remarkable ambition you have there.
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    I've changed my mind, I think I would give it up for that person.
    I would prefer to have that someone than have the perfect career but be very lonely.
    I don't think that the perfect person or career exists though to be honest.
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    My dreams are to see the world, earn a good wage and have the family, dog, nice home! If I could do all that with my current boyfriend (or someone I love as much and who makes me as happy, as sometimes things don't work out) then ill have all I wanted. May not be the most exciting dreams to everyone, but they're mine.

    In answer to the question I'd always chose love, money is great but it doesnt bring happiness if you don't have someone you love to share it with, for me anyway! So yeah, I'd give up the life of a great job where I make good money but come home to a loveless marriage/to an empty house for a life with a less paid job which I don't enjoy as much but I can come home to a loving husband and family every night!
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    (Original post by Louzilla)
    I've changed my mind, I think I would give it up for that person.
    I would prefer to have that someone than have the perfect career but be very lonely.
    I don't think that the perfect person or career exists though to be honest.
    Why do you assume that if you go for the career option you become lonely?
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    (Original post by hayles101)
    My dreams are to see the world, earn a good wage and have the family, dog, nice home! If I could do all that with my current boyfriend (or someone I love as much and who makes me as happy, as sometimes things don't work out) then ill have all I wanted. May not be the most exciting dreams to everyone, but they're mine.

    In answer to the question I'd always chose love, money is great but it doesnt bring happiness if you don't have someone you love to share it with, for me anyway! So yeah, I'd give up the life of a great job where I make good money but come home to a loveless marriage/to an empty house for a life with a less paid job which I don't enjoy as much but I can come home to a loving husband and family every night!
    Remember it's about perfect career v perfect partner, NOT money v love.

    Looking at what you've wrote, you said "see the world".

    Would you give that up (i.e. stay the same place for the rest of your life) to have a "loving family"?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    What a remarkable ambition you have there.
    My post was a bit anecdotal but it actually holds some truths. People with a "perfect career" will attract partners who are interested in their money rather than personality. Obviously not in every case but that's how life works. On the other hand you can find someone special who will be supporting you throughout your career and that is the perfect case of scenario. Unfortunately, in modern world, money matter a lot and having a stable career would be far more beneficial. Not only for you but even for your family (I am talking about mother, sister, grandfather ... etc here). So as a conclusion and answer to your thread:
    career > partner

    Best wishes
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    I'm not the type to revolve my little life around some guy.
    Justin Bieber called, said he wanted to know why you've stopped stalking him.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Why do you assume that if you go for the career option you become lonely?
    Who would you have to share it with? If you chose the "perfect" career over the "perfect" person then clearly you're going to get lonely because you can't share it. Very few people wouldn't get lonely.
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    (Original post by Louzilla)
    Who would you have to share it with? If you chose the "perfect" career over the "perfect" person then clearly you're going to get lonely because you can't share it. Very few people wouldn't get lonely.
    Is it necessary to share it with someone?

    Arguable, you could say I'd be sharing it with everyone in the world.

    You may not get what I mean by that, but I'd rather "share" with everyone in the whole world than my partner + 2 children.

    You don't understand.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Remember it's about perfect career v perfect partner, NOT money v love.

    Looking at what you've wrote, you said "see the world".

    Would you give that up (i.e. stay the same place for the rest of your life) to have a "loving family"?
    Yes I would however its a highly unlikely thing to happen as my boyfriend and I plan going to go travelling together next year, if we broke up before then I would go alone and travel before being with someone again.

    In my opinion, and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong because it is only an opinion based on a tiny bit of something you have wrote on a forum, I think you have never been in love, and therefore never experienced the happiness it brings, unlike anything else. Happiness that cannot be felt from any career or fancy car. You are worried about never experiencing that happiness so concentrate on convincing yourself more than others that you will lead a happier life without someone, that you don't need anyone. If this is the case I think your whole opinion would change if you met someone and fell for them.

    It could however also be the complete opposite, you have been in love before, very in love and got burned, which is why you have decided you will never risk that happening again so will never let yourself fall for someone again. If that is the case, and you probably won't admit any of this even if it is, time will heal and you will eventually find the right person for you.

    As I said I don't believe you would admit it if hit the nail on the head anywhere there, it may be that you are one of the tiny percentage that want to be on their own in life, however I highly doubt it as most people who say those things are usually trying to convince themselves the life they ended up with is the life they wanted.

    Edit: This is based on your above post, rather than the quoted text.
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    (Original post by SonnyZH)
    No.
    Any explanations from your side?
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    I've surprised nobody has mentioned this; friends

    They're important too and you can enjoy a lot with them too.
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    (Original post by hayles101)
    In my opinion, and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong because it is only an opinion based on a tiny bit of something you have wrote on a forum, I think you have never been in love, and therefore never experienced the happiness it brings, unlike anything else. Happiness that cannot be felt from any career or fancy car. You are worried about never experiencing that happiness so concentrate on convincing yourself more than others that you will lead a happier life without someone, that you don't need anyone. If this is the case I think your whole opinion would change if you met someone and fell for them.
    Trust me, in my experience, meeting a person and falling in love with them - well, I didn't experience happiness, if anything I experienced sadness.

    So don't be too quick to judge that love = happiness.

    And yes, I can live a good life without "someone". Why ever not?

    It could however also be the complete opposite, you have been in love before, very in love and got burned, which is why you have decided you will never risk that happening again so will never let yourself fall for someone again. If that is the case, and you probably won't admit any of this even if it is, time will heal and you will eventually find the right person for you.
    Answered the above bit before reading this. But anyways, I can't count of "finding the right person for you". In fact, I don't care about finding the right person. Why do you say it as if it is necessary to "fall in love and get married" and what not?

    As I said I don't believe you would admit it if hit the nail on the head anywhere there, it may be that you are one of the tiny percentage that want to be own there own in life, however I highly doubt it as most people who say those things are usually trying to convince themselves the life they ended up with is the life they wanted.
    Why can't you accept that it is not necessary to follow the "marriage-kids-death" route?
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    I've surprised nobody has mentioned this; friends

    They're important too and you can enjoy a lot with them too.
    Once again AS, people still convincing themselves that they have to get married etc etc.

    And they tell me I'm convincing myself that I'll be happier alone.
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    no. Never ever.
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    (Original post by moody_bum)
    no. Never ever.
    Any reasons as to why?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Once again AS, people still convincing themselves that they have to get married etc etc.

    And they tell me I'm convincing myself that I'll be happier alone.
    Yeah I know what you mean.

    I told my mum a couple of weeks ago that i'm not sure if I want to get married because I don't understand it's meaning. I just see it as a social construct that is essentially a waste of money.

    She said "It's not worth it."

    I can see why now.
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    Interesting! Up to now the result seems to be 50% vs 50%!

    It emplains why we can always meet the one of our life, because in a relationship, one sacrifices a little bit more than the other. Here we find hundreds of future couples! Haha!
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    I have more control of my ideal future than my ideal partner. In fact, if I fail to achieve the ideal partner, there was nothing I could do to stop it. If I fail to achieve my ideal future, it's because of reasons relating with me.

    Actually, in my ideal future, I don't need an ideal partner. My ideal future will happen, irrespective if I find the perfect man.

    I'm not the type to revolve my little life around some guy.
    You're a little dense, aren't you?

    For something to be "perfect", all of its constituent parts must be perfect. Your partner is part of your future. If your future partner is not ideal, your future is not ideal. By definition. Therefore, your ideal future necessitates your ideal partner. It is not an "either/or"; one is inclusive of the other.

    This isn't me debating with you; this is me telling you that the question is absurd. It doesn't make any sense. It's not a matter of opinion.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Any reasons as to why?
    Firstly, because I would never expect anyone to drop their dreams etc for me. So why should it work the other way?

    Secondly, I have had these dreams and career aspirations for a very long time now. I know I want to be successful at what I do and don't see why I should drop years of careful planning for someone else.

    Thirdly and most importantly. I don't actually want to settle down. I want to travel and see sights all over the world and cannot see myself settling into a suitable routine for a very long time, it will be hard for me to find someone who appreciates this. People ask me why I still see myself single at 30 and would I find this lonely. They speak as though not having a partner means I will therefore have no contact with anyone else.

    I guess it comes down to how career driven I am. Happiness to me is succeeding in my career, meeting a guy is just an added extra.

    On top of it all I feel I would be settling for second best if I found someone who I had to drop my future for. I'm not really sure how to explain this, but the kind of partner I am looking for is someone who will understand that I also have plans of my own. It is also important that my partner be as keen as I am to travel and be just as dynamic.
 
 
 
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