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Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner? watch

  • View Poll Results: Ideal future or perfect partner?
    Ideal future
    49.38%
    Perfect partner
    50.62%

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    (Original post by im so academic)
    (c) Tomatoes are not necessary for the ideal salad as everyone has different thoughts about their own ideal salad.
    JFC. That was (b). Your question assumes that someone wants a partner. If they don't, the question doesn't apply to them. If they do, the question doesn't make sense.

    You're faking it. Nobody is this dense. Nobody.
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    (Original post by Planto)
    JFC. That was (b). Your question assumes that someone wants a partner. If they don't, the question doesn't apply to them. If they do, the question doesn't make sense.

    You're faking it. Nobody is this dense. Nobody.
    My original question also assumes that people have their own independent ambitions.

    What I've learnt from this thread: only a certain minority are ambitious.

    Yes, I do not consider people who "want a family" or "want a good wage" ambitious. That's not ambitious, that's typical.
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    (To the question) Depends. If it's assumed that without the perfect partner I'll never have kids, then I'll go with the perfect partner. If it's assumed I can have kids (adoption, donor, etc) without the perfect partner, I choose career.
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    (Original post by carehow)
    (To the question) Depends. If it's assumed that without the perfect partner I'll never have kids, then I'll go with the perfect partner. If it's assumed I can have kids (adoption, donor, etc) without the perfect partner, I choose career.
    Of course you can have children - if that's your ambition.

    Question is: why?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    My original question also assumes that people have their own independent ambitions.

    What I've learnt from this thread: only a certain minority are ambitious.

    Yes, I do not consider people who "want a family" or "want a good wage" ambitious. That's not ambitious, that's typical.
    He's right though, the question doesn't make sense. Your ideal future either includes an ideal partner or it doesn't.

    If it does, then you can't choose an ideal future over an ideal partner because that would contradict it being your ideal future.

    If it doesn't, then there isn't really a choice to make because there is no such thing as the ideal partner because ideally you won't have one at all.

    If the question was rephrased to be strictly about career then it would make sense.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Of course you can have children - if that's your ambition.

    Question is: why?
    Hm, I'm not sure, I just completely love children. I like to pin it on 'That Damn Maternal Instinct'. I'm not sure why they're more important than my ideal career (all I want to do is help those in mental difficulties, I'd love to become a psychotherapist of some sort), but I guess I'd be kinda' lonely without a family.
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    (Original post by Psyk)
    He's right though, the question doesn't make sense. Your ideal future either includes an ideal partner or it doesn't.

    If it does, then you can't choose an ideal future over an ideal partner because that would contradict it being your ideal future.

    If it doesn't, then there isn't really a choice to make because there is no such thing as the ideal partner because ideally you won't have one at all.

    If the question was rephrased to be strictly about career then it would make sense.
    :sigh:

    Well, how would you word it then?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    :sigh:

    Well, how would you word it then?
    Just make it ideal career vs. ideal partner. Drop the word future from it as that includes both.

    I would still be unable to answer it, but it would make sense at least.
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    (Original post by Psyk)
    Just make it ideal career vs. ideal partner. Drop the word future from it as that includes both.

    I would still be unable to answer it, but it would make sense at least.
    The reason why I didn't ask it like that is people would say "I'll have both", hence why I pretty much asked "would you give up your future ideal career for your future ideal partner" (as pretty much all of TSR is not in their ideal careers or have their ideal partner).
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    perfect career
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    Tbh if you met your perfect partner surely they would want to support you in achieving your dreams. Then again part of me wants to say what is the point in achieving your dreams if you do not have a loving partner to share and celebrate your success with. I like to think that my partner and I have similar dreams, neither of us are after big glittering showbiz careers, we just want to live happily together earning enough money to keep us and give our future children a good education and lifestyle. In much the same way as our parents did for us.

    If I had to choose one or the other it would probably depend on what came along when. If my bf had not come along when he did and someone came along and offered me a once in lifetime chance to live the dream then I would probably jump at the chance, but as everything I do now affects him if someone came along with the same offer I would have to consult him and find out how my choice would affect him and how he feels about the decision.
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    (Original post by hippieglitter)
    Tbh if you met your perfect partner surely they would want to support you in achieving your dreams. Then again part of me wants to say what is the point in achieving your dreams if you do not have a loving partner to share and celebrate your success with. I like to think that my partner and I have similar dreams, neither of us are after big glittering showbiz careers, we just want to live happily together earning enough money to keep us and give our future children a good education and lifestyle. In much the same way as our parents did for us.
    Is it necessary to "share your success with a partner"?

    Seriously, what?

    Success happens irrespective if you "share it or not". What on earth do you mean by that anyways?
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    I'm scared of what my decision would be if I was ever in the situation. I'm scared that I would give up my dreams in order to be with someone. I honestly wouldn't be able to say what I would do until I was in the situation but since you ask whether I would ever do it, then I'm going to have to say yes.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    The apparent advantages of marriage are:

    *Helps you become closer together - in other words repressing your individuality? If you don't want to be with that person, you're pretty much implying that marriage forces you to be in a relationship you don't want to be in? Hardly a good thing.

    *Legal benefits for children - what if you don't want children? Also surely that implies marriage is just a legal recognition of your relationship as opposed to anything of emotional and traditional value.

    *???
    Yeah I don't see myself getting married unless the person is really something else.
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    (Original post by Planto)
    Right, but that isn't the question. The question is "ideal partner vs. ideal future". If someone wants a partner, then the question doesn't make sense because the ideal future necessitates the ideal partner. If someone doesn't want a partner, the question doesn't apply.

    Hence, we are back where I started - the thread is stupid.
    And what if I want a partner but not a perfect partner?

    Also, if the thread was stupid there wouldn't be 740+ replies and over 500 votes.
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    And what if I want a partner but not a perfect partner?
    Or even a partner, but not necessarily a romantic one?
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    I would give up my ideal future for my ideal partner, because presumably if I had an ideal partner I would be happy enough, so any career would do.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Or even a partner, but not necessarily a romantic one?
    Exactly!

    Question for a lot of the people who voted partner. Are you saying that if I was the perfect boyfriend in the whole world and did everything possible that you'd expect from a partner. You'll leave your dreams and aspirations (not money ffs) just for me?

    You'll live with me for the rest of your life with me doing nothing apart from feeling loved from me?
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    (Original post by Lewroll)
    I would give up my ideal future for my ideal partner, because presumably if I had an ideal partner I would be happy enough, so any career would do.
    That sounds ambitious.

    "Any career will do".
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    Exactly!

    Question for a lot of the people who voted partner. Are you saying that if I was the perfect boyfriend in the whole world and did everything possible that you'd expect from a partner. You'll leave your dreams and aspirations (not money ffs) just for me?

    You'll live with me for the rest of your life with me doing nothing apart from feeling loved from me?
    Also, I thought love wasn't eternal?

    (Oh and to others, don't say that your career also isn't eternal either. No, it isn't, it changes - that's the beauty of it).
 
 
 
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