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Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner? Watch

  • View Poll Results: Ideal future or perfect partner?
    Ideal future
    49.38%
    Perfect partner
    50.62%

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    (Original post by BeanofJelly)
    I know you said no exploiting any loopholes, but I just can't help it.

    The perfect partner can provide for you everything you might get out of a career (interest, purpose, development, money, fulfillment) etc. They would enable you to pursue anything you wanted, because they'd be perfect (loaded, supercool, perfectly suited to you, and they wouldn't even make you feel bad about relying on them).

    But the perfect career still can't give you love, sex, children, grandchildren, a future.

    So the choice is obvious.
    What about being independent, being self-reliant, having initiative?

    I don't want to "rely" on my partner. What if he loses his job?
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    (Original post by Lewroll)
    I would give up my ideal future for my ideal partner, because presumably if I had an ideal partner I would be happy enough, so any career would do.
    So if the ideal partner came along now and the only job you could get was being a bin man you would be content?
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    (Original post by BeanofJelly)
    I know you said no exploiting any loopholes, but I just can't help it.

    The perfect partner can provide for you everything you might get out of a career (interest, purpose, development, money, fulfillment) etc. They would enable you to pursue anything you wanted, because they'd be perfect (loaded, supercool, perfectly suited to you, and they wouldn't even make you feel bad about relying on them).

    But the perfect career still can't give you love, sex, children, grandchildren, a future.

    So the choice is obvious.
    To start with the choice is not obvious, as this thread suggests. It is very much dependent upon what different people want at different points in their life.

    You can still have a future without children. Love is open to interpretation, someone could effectively be in love with their job. Also a career does not cut you out of everything, the last job I was in I worked hard and played hard, my social life was just as much as part of my job as the actual work I did. It made me happy because I did not have to rely on anyone, I had the freedom to do what I wanted; maybe a selfish approach but it made me independent and self-reliant.
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    (Original post by undermyskin)
    To start with the choice is not obvious, as this thread suggests. It is very much dependent upon what different people want at different points in their life.

    You can still have a future without children. Love is open to interpretation, someone could effectively be in love with their job. Also a career does not cut you out of everything, the last job I was in I worked hard and played hard, my social life was just as much as part of my job as the actual work I did. It made me happy because I did not have to rely on anyone, I had the freedom to do what I wanted; maybe a selfish approach but it made me independent and self-reliant.
    Exactly. And there's nothing wrong with that lifestyle at all.
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    Generally speaking ideal career = money, and unless your career was something very vocational e.g. medicine, teaching, and I suppose you could argue religious vocations as well. It wouldn't in reality make sense to put a career infront of personal relationships.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    What about being independent, being self-reliant, having initiative?

    I don't want to "rely" on my partner. What if he loses his job?
    He's perfect he won't lose his job

    He's perfect, you won't have to rely on him cause he'll have already set up an awesome fallback existence in case of his absence.

    Maybe he doesn't have a job. Maybe he won the lottery 4 times (plenty for charity ) so he doesn't deserve the money any more than you do and there's no reason not to share it and do what the hell you want. You can have initiative going to language classes or exploring the world together, or whetever
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    (Original post by undermyskin)
    To start with the choice is not obvious, as this thread suggests. It is very much dependent upon what different people want at different points in their life.

    You can still have a future without children. Love is open to interpretation, someone could effectively be in love with their job. Also a career does not cut you out of everything, the last job I was in I worked hard and played hard, my social life was just as much as part of my job as the actual work I did. It made me happy because I did not have to rely on anyone, I had the freedom to do what I wanted; maybe a selfish approach but it made me independent and self-reliant.
    I know but why do you want a career? Not like, eew why would you want a career, but what are the reasons? For me, interest, fulfillment, ambition, independence, structure, self-improvement, to be a professional, possibly to help others etc.

    But the perfect partner could theoretically provide all of the above. They wouldn't even have to be around. They could just fund you :p:

    I can't think of a reason that the perfect (I'm not talking realistic here, but perfect) partner couldn't provide.
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    (Original post by limetang)
    Generally speaking ideal career = money, and unless your career was something very vocational e.g. medicine, teaching, and I suppose you could argue religious vocations as well. It wouldn't in reality make sense to put a career infront of personal relationships.
    Why?
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    (Original post by BeanofJelly)
    He's perfect he won't lose his job

    He's perfect, you won't have to rely on him cause he'll have already set up an awesome fallback existence in case of his absence.
    By "perfect" I meant the aesthetic and the "personality" qualities you want in a guy.

    Look, life isn't all rainbows and sunshine.
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    (Original post by T-Toe)
    To be absolutely honest with you, no.

    Okay the scenario has changed, still no:

    1. I'm quite selfish, achieving my dreams is the biggest self-satisfaction I could ever have.

    2. I'd want to live my dreams in order for my future kids to have to best possible life. Children > Partner.

    3. As long is he's not inept and he has a penis, I'll live. I'm not expecting a perfect partner.

    4. Perfect partner BUT living on min wage, barely able to put food on the table and the kids will suffer? No thanks. I'm selfish but not that selfish.

    Sorry but I'm being honest, shot me.

    ah, totally agree with this :congrats:
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Why?
    Admitadely it's a matter of opinion, but personally I think there is more inherrent value in our relationships with other people than there is in monitary gain.
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    I'd be happy with the ideal partner and what we would do together would make up for the ideal career - but if such perfect person did not appear I would rather the perfect career over a mediocre relationship any day!
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    (Original post by limetang)
    Admitadely it's a matter of opinion, but personally I think there is more inherrent value in our relationships with other people than there is in monitary gain.
    What if you are doing a career that's not about the monetary gain?
    Define what "inherent value" is.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    By "perfect" I meant the aesthetic and the "personality" qualities you want in a guy.

    Look, life isn't all rainbows and sunshine.
    Oh fair enough Different question. You should have said
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    (Original post by Jacke02)
    Well an ideal future without an ideal partner isn't very "ideal".
    It depends on your interpretation of an ideal future.

    I have been there where I thought I was with the perfect guy and was going to marry him until I realised everything I was having to and had sacrificed for it, being with him meant I was unable to pursue my career. I would have had to give up everything I wanted and tbh if you have an ambition however small it may be, it does make you resentful if you have to give it up to stay with someone. I reached a point where I did not know how I was going to feed us; I had no social life because I had to work two jobs, I worked 7 days a week. Is that really an ideal future for the sake of being with someone who seems to be perfect because you love them.

    In contrast, a year later I fell in love with another guy (just as much as the first), the difference is this time he likes me because I am so dedicated and ambitious to my career. For me my career is important to me, I enjoy what I do and I know it will give me a solid grounding with a stable base to live. He understands this and is happy to accept if I have to work until the early hours in the morning; understands I have to move away to uni.

    For me pursuing my ideal career is the better option as at least this way I know I will have a stable base to look after myself without having to rely on my partner.
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    (Original post by undermyskin)
    So if the ideal partner came along now and the only job you could get was being a bin man you would be content?
    Yeah I'd be happy. I'm a simple guy, and binmen get a good pay Nice girl on my arm, happy home life, sounds good to me.
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    (Original post by limetang)
    Admitadely it's a matter of opinion, but personally I think there is more inherrent value in our relationships with other people than there is in monitary gain.

    Surely there can be inherent value to a career other than monetary gain?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Unlike you, I wouldn't make such a rash decision like that. I would think it through and look at the consequences of such an action.
    Aren't you fantastic?
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    (Original post by undermyskin)
    It depends on your interpretation of an ideal future.

    I have been there where I thought I was with the perfect guy and was going to marry him until I realised everything I was having to and had sacrificed for it, being with him meant I was unable to pursue my career. I would have had to give up everything I wanted and tbh if you have an ambition however small it may be, it does make you resentful if you have to give it up to stay with someone. I reached a point where I did not know how I was going to feed us; I had no social life because I had to work two jobs, I worked 7 days a week. Is that really an ideal future for the sake of being with someone who seems to be perfect because you love them.

    In contrast, a year later I fell in love with another guy (just as much as the first), the difference is this time he likes me because I am so dedicated and ambitious to my career. For me my career is important to me, I enjoy what I do and I know it will give me a solid grounding with a stable base to live. He understands this and is happy to accept if I have to work until the early hours in the morning; understands I have to move away to uni.

    For me pursuing my ideal career is the better option as at least this way I know I will have a stable base to look after myself without having to rely on my partner.
    Exactly.

    You just never know what might happen.
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    (Original post by T-Toe)
    To be absolutely honest with you, no.

    Okay the scenario has changed, still no:

    1. I'm quite selfish, achieving my dreams is the biggest self-satisfaction I could ever have.

    2. I'd want to live my dreams in order for my future kids to have to best possible life. Children > Partner.

    3. As long is he's not inept and he has a penis, I'll live. I'm not expecting a perfect partner.

    4. Perfect partner BUT living on min wage, barely able to put food on the table and the kids will suffer? No thanks. I'm selfish but not that selfish.

    Sorry but I'm being honest, shot me.
    I was going to comment something, but you have already covered what I wanted to say .
 
 
 
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