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Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner? watch

  • View Poll Results: Ideal future or perfect partner?
    Ideal future
    49.38%
    Perfect partner
    50.62%

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    I chose perfect career before reading assuming I could get an OK partner.

    Oh well, I'll would of probably still chose perfect future/career. I have very big plans :awesome:
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    Making a change in the world :yes:

    It's undefined I know, but the plan is being written as we speak. I just love teaching people and showing them the value of life and what it all really means. I can't give that up.

    Social Entrepreneur :yes:
    But you'd give up your perfect partner for it? I can assure you that, thus far, any of my achievements pale compare JUST to my friendship group. There's no way I'd give up a perfect partner, even for something as virtuous as your goal. What's the point if you have no one to share it with?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    To state the parameters of this question (as it could be interpreted in different ways):

    *Pretend you have not experienced your dream/future/career, i.e. to be an investment banker or to travel around the world. So it is NOT a case of "yeah, when I'll give up my career half-way through". No, it's one or the other.

    *Your dream or whatever cannot be finding "true love" or "happiness" or any of that wishy-washy crap. Just definite and specific goals. No emotions included, it has to be an actual goal.

    *To reiterate once again, it is a ONE or the OTHER choice. No best of both worlds in this case.

    I edited this bit as people are going down the "compromise" route, i.e. they'll take the perfect partner with a not so perfect career. So the situation is changed. NO compromise. It's:

    *Perfect partner + ****/no career
    *Perfect career + ****/no partner


    Also, no exploiting any loopholes.

    Thanks. Interested in your opinions.
    No I definately would not
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    You're jumping to conclusions.

    What if someone's perfect career was dedicating their life to volunteering and helping children out in the orphanages? Can't see them doing that for the money.

    And, arguably, you could also argue by taking that path in life, seeing a child having a better chance of life because of you, well, couldn't that be seen as "people in your life who make you happy" as well? Why is "people" exclusive to your partner?

    Success =/= money
    When you lose someone you love, there's no amount of certificates or ribbons or awards, whatever field they're in, that make up for it. This is losing someone you love.
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    No way, you can always change your career if it's not what you hope'd it'd be but you can't walk out on a partner! (Well you can but you shuldn't)
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    Anybody who would do this is an absolute fool.

    I've said in other posts that the most successful relationships and partnerships of any kind are when each party is completely whole themselves. They can do fine without the other person, and they don't 'complete them' (yargh!).

    Giving something up for another person seems to be taking a slice from your happiness, in the process reducing that complete, open and fancy-free mindset you have (even if it's only a fraction of the whole) to satisfy another person that isn't yourself. It's absurd.

    Inner happiness is forever, and can't be taken away, though restricting yourself for the sake of another person (and this is a pretty major thing the OP is asking) would be making yourself deeply unhappy to benefit somebody or a group of persons that you have no guarantee will be around forever. Ridiculous.

    People who have attained their perfect career or other ambition or 'dream' will possibly be happy. If they are truly happy, then the absence of a partner will not bother them. Happiness = bliss (at least in my opinion, as I have achieved it) and can't be faulted or disrupted by something as guilt-ridden as the desire to reproduce, or much more commplace; to ****. I could expand on this hugely for anyone interested, though I've made the point clear enough.
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    I'd take 'perfect partner' if I had to choose. I've already met her and whatever happens she makes me happy and I can't live without her.

    But of course, she'd never make me choose.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    You can tell your secrets, insecurities and faults to someone else who isn't your partner?

    Ideal future/career =/= making money. They are not synonymous with each other. (Unless your dream IS to have a big bank balance).



    Or your partner?!



    It's not about being rich or being poor. It's about your dreams and goals and aspirations IRRESPECTIVE of money.
    ahh, quoted by TSR's most famous member :dice:.

    Anyway, makes sense to me? :dontknow:
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    (Original post by gradjobplease)
    But you'd give up your perfect partner for it? I can assure you that, thus far, any of my achievements pale compare JUST to my friendship group. There's no way I'd give up a perfect partner, even for something as virtuous as your goal. What's the point if you have no one to share it with?
    Well we don't really need a partner to be happy. I'm just a little confused by what a perfect partner actually is..

    I mean a perfect partner would most likely have a career etc, while the partner will be perfect - the relationship will be the opposite, I think jealousy and self-guilt will start to interfere in the relationship from the person who gave up their goals.

    I'll be sharing it with the group of 20 students sitting right next to me right now - since we're working together and all.
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    Idk, it depends if there was a guarantee that I was to spend the rest of my life with this "perfect" partner. Also if he had a good job himself so that we could live comfortably for the whole of our lives.

    And actually it's kind of near impossible for me not to reach my future career goal because I'll be a student children's nurse from this Sept onwards & hopefully, if the gov stop cutting public sector work then nurses will always be wanted so I can't ever imagine myself stuck for work.

    So Idk really. I mean, I would rather have a "perfect" partner & a crappy job than having my future career job but being single for the whole of my life. I couldn't deal with never marrying!!
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    Perfect partner. I am really determined to do well and I definatly wouldn't give up a career for anybody I have met yet but if there was a perfect partner then I wouldn't care about anything else.
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    (Original post by tehforum)
    Hah, give up your life to be a hedge fund manager.
    true, but given that the best manager got $4bn last year.....I'll only do it for a year

    and retire a happy man, with the perfect partner and more money than sense
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    (Original post by Smelly Ellie)
    I would rather have a perfect and loving relationship, than climb to the top only to realise it's rather cold and lonely up there.
    Who says it will?

    Besides, won't children fill that void of loneliness?
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    (Original post by kbountra)
    There is no reason why you can't have both but if I had to choose between the two, I'd go for perfect partner. What is success/money if you have no one to share it with?
    This.

    To be honest I'm not completely sure what I'd go for. Right now I know someone who is pretty much perfect in my eyes, and if I had to pick between my career and her, I think I'd pick her.

    My dream career would be great, yeah, thats what I'm heading towards now in fact. But I think i'd personally prefer being with her + spending time with her even more than that. She's like my other half.

    Guess i'm just one of those people who finds happiness with other people instead of something else.
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    (Original post by T-Toe)
    Who says it will?

    Besides, won't children fill that void of loneliness?
    Why would I have children with someone who I'm not madly and crazily in love with/ my perfect partner?
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    Ideal career I think. I've survived this long without a partner and I'm sure the rest of my life would be fine...:ninja: Interesting to see how close the poll is!
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    (Original post by philistine)
    Anybody who would do this is an absolute fool.

    I've said in other posts that the most successful relationships and partnerships of any kind are when each party is completely whole themselves. They can do fine without the other person, and they don't 'complete them' (yargh!).

    Giving something up for another person seems to be taking a slice from your happiness, in the process reducing that complete, open and fancy-free mindset you have (even if it's only a fraction of the whole) to satisfy another person that isn't yourself. It's absurd.

    Inner happiness is forever, and can't be taken away, though restricting yourself for the sake of another person (and this is a pretty major thing the OP is asking) would be making yourself deeply unhappy to benefit somebody or a group of persons that you have no guarantee will be around forever. Ridiculous.

    People who have attained their perfect career or other ambition or 'dream' will possibly be happy. If they are truly happy, then the absence of a partner will not bother them. Happiness = bliss (at least in my opinion, as I have achieved it) and can't be faulted or disrupted by something as guilt-ridden as the desire to reproduce, or much more commplace; to ****. I could expand on this hugely for anyone interested, though I've made the point clear enough.
    Have you ever actually been in love?
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    (Original post by Smelly Ellie)
    Why would I have children with someone who I'm not madly and crazily in love with/ my perfect partner?
    Partners come and go. Kids are for life. You don't necessarily have to have kids with the perfect partner or even a partner at all for that matter.
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    If the partner was so "perfect" he/she would allow you to pursue your dream career whilst being with you, so no, if he wasn't happy with my decision based on that then I'd go with my gut instinct and learn & propser.

    I get the most satisfication when I've learned something, succeeded/achieved something or picken up on an interesting talent. That satisfaction makes me so happy tbh and I haven't ever been in love, so maybe my view is different, but I'd rather be full of energy, drive and confidence, knowing I'm doing well in life, than being in a relationship, where I might always feel as though I haven't got much to offer and maybe dwell on how I could've done so much more.

    At an older age, however, I think that having a mediocre job and having a perfect partner would be more suitable. I wouldn't want to be lonely in my old age and wouldn't want to be stuck with some old guy who isn't suited to me down to loneliness. I think loneliness at an older age would be far more escalated at my 19 years of age, so my mind is split in two.
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    Don't think so, but then again I don't have that "dream" career so who knows.
 
 
 
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Updated: March 28, 2011
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