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Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner? watch

  • View Poll Results: Ideal future or perfect partner?
    Ideal future
    49.38%
    Perfect partner
    50.62%

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    (Original post by Emmie3303)
    I give up.
    Why? Because you can't justify your views?

    It would be noble of you to admit you want a family because society expects you to, rather than shamingly saying "I give up".
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    (Original post by KatherineGiddins)
    I don't know I don't think I'd know until I was in the situation where I found my perfect partner- maybe then I would give up my future aspirations- but maybe then I would just resent them for the rest of my life so I think it's better to achieve your goals no matter what
    True.

    Your goals stay with you forever (if you're that passionate), but men come and go - even if they are perfect.
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    they are one and the same!

    how else am i gonna afford hookers and blow?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    In a way yes. It seems the only advantage they have is "love" (oh wow!).

    Imo, love prevents people from achieving their true potential.
    You're still a virgin aren't you?

    ...now, don't lie.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    You're still a virgin aren't you?

    ...now, don't lie.

    OUCH! burnnnn
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    By "perfect", I meant the aesthetic and the "personality" qualities you desire in your future husband.
    I've thought about this a bit more now. At this age, I know exactly what my "ideal future" is, what career I want etc. However, my "perfect partner" is just some fleeting idealisation of someone I haven't met yet.

    So... no?

    Then again, if I /did/ meet someone who was "perfect", I can't say how that would affect my (now reasonable) opinion...
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    You're still a virgin aren't you?

    ...now, don't lie.
    Of course I am, you really were expecting me to have sex at such a young age?

    You do know that, unlike you, I do not care if I am a virgin (and if I am for the rest of my life).

    It's sex. I'm not revolving my life around it.
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    (Original post by stellanocte)
    I've thought about this a bit more now. At this age, I know exactly what my "ideal future" is, what career I want etc. However, my "perfect partner" is just some fleeting idealisation of someone I haven't met yet.

    So... no?

    Then again, if I /did/ meet someone who was "perfect", I can't say how that would affect my (now reasonable) opinion...
    Either way, what's more important to you - your partner or your career?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Of course I am, you really were expecting me to have sex at such a young age?

    You do know that, unlike you, I do not care if I am a virgin (and if I am for the rest of my life).

    It's sex. I'm not revolving my life around it.
    So how can you hold such strong views on the topic when you have little to no experience of being in a proper relationship? It is the equivalent of me telling someone how to drive a car without being able to drive.

    Everything you are spouting out at best is....theoretical, which I guess is quite fitting given your TSR username.

    And no it is not just SEX, unless it is a one night stand where you objectify the girl/guy to satisfy your own sexual needs. When you are romantically in love with someone, and by that emotionally attached to them, with it being mutual, sex is a way of expressing your affection to your partner completely. Also a strong/healthy relationship is one where you help each other grow mentally, as well as being a process of self discovery for both of you. It's basically teamwork. That's the beauty of it.

    The problem many people have, is that they have a hard time finding a partner who is on the same wavelength as them, so go through partner after partner looking for their "ideal one", which is where the problem essentially lies.

    Now back to your original question - given I am in this situation right now? Would I trade my career/ambitions for my girlfriend, maybe, maybe not. Instead I would do what I have done now, and reached a compromise by communicating with her. This as a result has enabled us to continue to grow in our chosen fields without completely giving up our career aspirations. It just means, things are a bit trickier when it comes to maintaining the relationship.

    Again, until you are in a proper relationship you won't understand this. So your opinions are therefore void.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    So how can you hold such strong views on the topic when you have little to no experience of being in a proper relationship? It is the equivalent of me telling someone how to drive a car without being able to drive.
    I can. I don't have to be raped to know that rape is not exactly the best thing in the world.

    Everything you are spouting out at best is....theoretical, which I guess is quite fitting given your TSR username.
    It is what I feel is right.

    And no it is not just SEX, unless it is a one night stand where you objectify the girl/guy to satisfy your own sexual needs. When you are romantically in love with someone, and by that emotionally attached to them, with it being mutual, sex is a way of expressing yourself to your partner completely. Also a strong/healthy relationship is one where you help each other grow mentally, as well as discover things about yourself. It's basically teamwork. The problem many people have, is they have a hard time finding a partner who is on the same wavelength as them, so go through partner after partner looking for their "ideal one", which is where the problem essentially lies.
    To me, this is all bull****.

    Again, until you are in a proper relationship you won't understand this. So your opinions are therefore void.
    Just because you have "experience" of it, it does not make you right.

    Why should I have to listen to you?

    I'll live my life according to what I believe, not to some user who thinks that because they were in a relationship, they think they can instruct everyone else how to live their lives.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    I can. I don't have to be raped to know that rape is not exactly the best thing in the world.
    Well we are not talking about rape here now are we.

    Your question is:

    "Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner"

    Not being funny, but it does help if you have been in a serious relationship, because the reality is probably very different to how you currently imagine it to be.

    It is what I feel is right.
    Doesn't mean you are right.

    To me, this is all bull****.
    How do you know, have you had sex; by that one night stand or within a serious relationship? I've done both.

    Wait, forgot, you are a virgin. oops.


    Just because you have "experience" of it, it does not make you right.
    Yes, it's all subjective, but it does help if you based your own actual opinion on some actual real life experience. It's kinda like me saying:

    "Yeah the Cambridge experience is ****. They have no social life."

    Despite not studying there. For all I know it could be amazing. So it is best not spouting my opinion on the place.

    Why should I have to listen to you?
    You don't. You started the thread, I just proposed my opinion on the matter, based on what you wrote earlier.

    I'll live my life according to what I believe, not to some user who thinks that because they were in a relationship, they think they can instruct everyone else how to live their lives.
    That's the spirit.

    But I bet you £50, your opinions will change over time with more experience.

    Always happens.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    Well we are not talking about rape here now are we.
    Neither are we talking about cars.

    Not being funny, but it does help if you have been in a serious relationship, because the reality is probably very different to how you currently imagine it to be.
    My opinions will not change.

    Doesn't mean you are right.
    Doesn't mean you're right either.

    How do you know, have you had sex, one night stand and in a serious relationship? I've done both.

    Wait, forgot, you are a virgin. oops.
    If I never experienced it, it means I won't be "missing" out on again. How could I miss something if I never experienced it?

    I am content with my current life.

    Yes, it's all subjective, but it does help if you based your own actual opinion on some actual real life experience. It's kinda like me saying:

    "Yeah the Cambridge experience is ****. They have no social life."

    Despite not studying there. For all I know it could be amazing. So it is best me not spouting my opinion on the place.
    We're not talking about Cambridge.

    You don't. You started the thread, I just proposed my opinion on the matter, based on what you wrote earlier.
    Why do you assume that I'm wrong and you're right?

    But I bet you £50, your opinions will change over time with more experience.

    Always happens.
    Just because it "always happen", it doesn't mean it would for me. I control my life. Not you.

    My opinions (regarding relationships) will NEVER change.

    You don't know me.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Neither are we talking about cars.



    My opinions will not change.



    Doesn't mean you're right either.



    If I never experienced it, it means I won't be "missing" out on again. How could I miss something if I never experienced it?

    I am content with my current life.
    Fair enough, if you are adamant to live your life as a hermit that's your choice. Personally I couldn't do that. Again, this is a personal decision for you and I respect your choice.

    But I think you should stop stamping your authority on this thread with comments like:

    "In a way yes. It seems the only advantage they have is "love" (oh wow!).

    Imo, love prevents people from achieving their true potential."

    You have no idea, because as you have just admitted you have never experienced it. So how can you make a sarcastic comment on something you have never experienced???

    We're not talking about Cambridge.
    I'm using that as example to point out how perception may be very different to the actual reality. The same thing here with "love", if you cannot make the link between the two, then you are not as academic as you think you are.

    Why do you assume that I'm wrong and you're right?


    Just because it "always happen", it doesn't mean it would for me. I control my life. Not you.

    My opinions (regarding relationships) will NEVER change.

    You don't know me.
    How old are you? and
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    Fair enough, if you are adamant to live your life as a hermit that's your choice. Personally I couldn't do that. Again, this is a personal decision for you and I respect your choice.
    I am not a hermit. I am not acting like a hermit. I'm living with respect to my wishes.

    But I think you should stop stamping your authority on this thread with comments like:

    "In a way yes. It seems the only advantage they have is "love" (oh wow!).

    Imo, love prevents people from achieving their true potential."

    You have no idea, because as you have just admitted you have never experienced it. So how can you make a sarcastic comment on something you have never experienced???
    It is my opinion. I personally believe that love doesn't exist, so how can I experience it? (Don't make the assumption that love exists for everyone).

    I'm using that as example to point out how perception may be very different to the actual reality. The same thing here with "love", if you cannot make the link between the two, then you are not as academic as you think you are.
    You may think that love is the be all and end all, but I don't. I don't have to experience it to believe it.

    (In fact, arguably, I have experienced love [though the correct term would be limerence, but isn't love just limerence taken to the next level]. But it depends what you mean by love. Arguably I have and I haven't depending on your definition. Either way, it's not going to control my life).

    How old are you? and
    Irrelevant, you'll probably just respond with "how you do know? You are so young".
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Why? Because you can't justify your views?

    It would be noble of you to admit you want a family because society expects you to, rather than shamingly saying "I give up".
    I am not ashamed of my opinion. There is no reason that I can give that you will accept and I've already spent more than enough time trying to convince you that I am not simply following what you believe society is telling us is the right thing to do. You asked a hypothetical question and got an answer.

    Also, if society is telling us that marriage is preferable to a career and no marriage then why is the poll split directly in half? Isn't that more indicative of a lack of or equal impetus from society in either direction?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    I am not a hermit. I am not acting like a hermit. I'm living with respect to my wishes.
    Well you will probably be lonely with a good career when older. So close enough.

    It is my opinion. I personally believe that love doesn't exist, so how can I experience it? (Don't make the assumption that love exists for everyone).
    Fair enough. But how can you be so sure? Admittedly I am not sure either, but I won't make a statement as bold as that.

    You may think that love is the be all and end all, but I don't. I don't have to experience it to believe it.
    Actually I don't. I think life is about pushing forward irrespective on if you are in love or not. But at the same time I do appreciate it when you have strong romantic feelings for someone, with those feelings being reciprocated.

    (In fact, arguably, I have experienced love [though the correct term would be limerence, but isn't love just limerence taken to the next level]. But it depends what you mean by love. Arguably I have and I haven't depending on your definition. Either way, it's not going to control my life).
    Doesn't count, one's romantic feelings are not reciprocated during a state of limerence. The fact that youhave experienced limerence means that like everyone you do have a strong desire to feel wanted and loved.

    In contrast love is when strong romantic feelings ARE reciprocated back and forth between both partners.

    Irrelevant, you'll probably just respond with "how you do know? You are so young".
    No, I'm curious.
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    Look, if ur partner is genuine, really loves u, he/she doesnt do things which will cause u to change except for the better.

    Dnt luk for answers here. Luk for opinions n den come wid ur own decision.

    Wen deciding, take da decision dat Will let u b happy even if ur partner leave u. Wat if she leaves n u r den nt left wid anything!
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    I was the 644th person to vote. and the split was 322, 322! Very controversial!
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    (Original post by Emmie3303)
    I am not ashamed of my opinion. There is no reason that I can give that you will accept and I've already spent more than enough time trying to convince you that I am not simply following what you believe society is telling us is the right thing to do. You asked a hypothetical question and got an answer.
    An unjustified one.

    Also, if society is telling us that marriage is preferable to a career and no marriage then why is the poll split directly in half? Isn't that more indicative of a lack of or equal impetus from society in either direction?
    TSR is not representative of British society.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    Well you will probably be lonely with a good career when older. So close enough.
    Why do you say I will be lonely?
    So you're saying being career-minded means you will become lonely?
    What's the point of aiming for a job then?
    Why can't we all just drop out, revert back to how things were previously and living in this "socialised" (not referring to socialism) world?
    Are you saying that not having human contact is the be all and end all?
    Don't you appreciate the fact some people actually like a bit of alone time here and then?
    Who's to say that getting a good career means you won't have human contact?

    Fair enough. But how can you be so sure? Admittedly I am not sure either, but I won't make a statement as bold as that.
    I'm right until proven wrong.

    Actually I don't. I think life is about pushing forward irrespective on if you are in love or not. But at the same time I do appreciate it when you have strong romantic feelings for someone, with those feelings being reciprocated.
    That's why I want to do with my life - pushing forward.

    Well, my "strong romantic feelings" are not, and will never be reciprocated.

    Doesn't count, one's romantic feelings are not reciprocated during a state of limerence. The fact that youhave experienced limerence means that like everyone you do have a strong desire to feel wanted and loved.
    But it will never be reciprocated so there's something called "getting over it". I do not have a strong desire to feel wanted and loved. I do not seek the acceptance of other people.

    In contrast love is when strong romantic feelings ARE reciprocated back and forth between both partners.
    In other words, a long-term sex partner? :rolleyes:

    **** love. My feelings are not being reciprocated, I'm denouncing "love". I'm not revolving my life around unattainable men.
 
 
 
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