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gf saying one thing and doing another, consistently? watch

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    my gf keeps saying she needs to stay at her flat to do work rather than come out with me or come over to my place for the night. but has just been invited to a party by her friend and im pretty sure shes going to go, despite having told me she couldnt come out with me the day before, as she wants to get work done this weekend.

    I asked if she could stay over thursday so she can have a long weekend to do work, but she said no as she wants to get started today, but this party is tomorrow and im pretty sure shes going to go...

    any opinions? do i have a right to feel a bit screwed around?
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    Maybe just confront her? Have the two of you argued at any point recently? There might be a reason why she's acting like this.

    You could even ask her what she's doing on the day of the party and then you'll know for sure if she's trying to hide anything. It's probably best to get straight down to the problem.
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    Talk to her, and ask her honestly whats going on..

    If there's no trust in the relationship, then i'd say simply end it..
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    Maybe she wants to make time for friends and work as well as you?
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    If she wants to go to the party then let her! She is able to see you after the weekend when her work is complete and doesn't have to worry about it. The party is a one-off, you are there for her all the time. Being in a relationship is all about enjoying the time that you have together, but it does not negate the fact that there are other aspects to your life than the other person. She will make time for her friends and family, and that may seem to put them in "front" of you. As long as she is still making time to see you be positive and enjoy both your life and the time you have together.
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    Maybe she's doing the work now so she can go to the party tomorrow (/today) ? Definitely speak to her about it (in a non-confrontational way) - are you going too?
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    Jeremy Kyle.
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    You're probably smothering her, to be honest.
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    (Original post by Topcorn)
    If she wants to go to the party then let her! She is able to see you after the weekend when her work is complete and doesn't have to worry about it. The party is a one-off, you are there for her all the time. Being in a relationship is all about enjoying the time that you have together, but it does not negate the fact that there are other aspects to your life than the other person. She will make time for her friends and family, and that may seem to put them in "front" of you. As long as she is still making time to see you be positive and enjoy both your life and the time you have together.
    Bloody cracking post. If only more people would realise this! Being in a relationship does not mean you give up everything else! I find it infuriating!

    But anyway, well said!
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    I don't think the OP is talking about not letting her have a life, I think he is more concerned about the perceived dishonesty.

    She said she had work to do but will go to a party when she said she couldn't hang with him (her boyfriend).

    Smells a bit iffy.

    Personally I'd just say "I fancy some time with friends/to myself that night" but meh.
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    dump her ass
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    she's just not that in to you?
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    Right, first off, in not smothering her, we have not spent a night together in over a month and this week seeme the best but she said she needed to do work. The she gets invited to a 19th and suddenly work takes a backseat. I feel like for the 4 hours or so she is spending at this party with mates, she could have spent with me as well, because if work can be postponed for a party, why not dinner with me also? Especially since we have not spent a night together or a while :/

    It certainly isn't a case for Jeremy, air of overt superiority, Kyle either.
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    Is this about really her decieving you or is it about her not being in love with you?
    If it's the former I'd just let it go, she was obviously just being polite.
    Plus you haven't said what kind of party it is. If it's something like a once-a-term event or a friends birthday I can understand why she might be choosing it over a date. I believe from what you've said, that you aren't smothering her. It also looks like for you this is about more than her politely turning down a date, even if she has a decent reason for doing so.

    It sounds like you arent exactly high on her priority list. If this is really about her feelings for you then it does matter. Actions do speak louder than words, even though a will woman nag her words right into a guy's soul sometimes. If what really makes you unhappy is her lack of feelings for you; that is a legitimate issue. So you can reconsider things from that standpoint; it isn't being petty or somethering to do that.

    Whatever you do though, don't make this a big issue to discuss with her. Such a harmless lie, or subconcious prioritisation, isn't a very nice thing to argue with a girl about. She won't understand what's actually bothering you, and you won't get a resolution out of this. That would probably scare her into hiding her true feelings in future and make you look petty, which isn't good for any relationship. I hope you see a lie like this is nothing to get annoyed about, if you're annoyed more than this I hope you'll focus on the real problem instead; and maybe we can give you more useful advice for that.

    Hope that helps


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Right, first off, in not smothering her, we have not spent a night together in over a month and this week seeme the best but she said she needed to do work. The she gets invited to a 19th and suddenly work takes a backseat. I feel like for the 4 hours or so she is spending at this party with mates, she could have spent with me as well, because if work can be postponed for a party, why not dinner with me also? Especially since we have not spent a night together or a while :/

    It certainly isn't a case for Jeremy, air of overt superiority, Kyle either.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Right, first off, in not smothering her, we have not spent a night together in over a month and this week seeme the best but she said she needed to do work. The she gets invited to a 19th and suddenly work takes a backseat. I feel like for the 4 hours or so she is spending at this party with mates, she could have spent with me as well, because if work can be postponed for a party, why not dinner with me also? Especially since we have not spent a night together or a while :/

    It certainly isn't a case for Jeremy, air of overt superiority, Kyle either.
    You're not smothering her but if you act pissed off or argue about it, she will feel like you are smothering her.

    Like a previous thread said, a relationship is about spending time together but you also have to realise that both of you need to have fun with other people. Maybe a lot of her friends are going and she doesn't want to miss out. When you're in a relationship it's so easy to get stuck in a little bubble and neglect your friends for a while. She probably was intending to do work but then got this invite.

    I wouldn't worry about it at all, just go out with your friends tomorrow. Say to her you'll see her after the weekend after she's finished her work and then you can enjoy some time alone. Talk to her after and ask if she had fun and then you'll look like the amazing boyfriend who's really caring and just wants her to be happy!
 
 
 
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