fancy ex's mate

Basically, i split up with my bf of 2 years (he cheated!!). But his best mate has been Soooo kind to me always and hes just said he fancies me. would it be a wrong move (awkward) to go out with him.
Just wondering what u guys think!!

Reply 1

randdom

20

It depends if you want to have any sort of friendship with you ex, you to want to then it is probably best not to go out with his friend however if you don't like your ex then go for it aslong as he is interested.

Reply 2

r0manticide17

3

if you like him go for it. but i tend to stay away from certain lads now unless i know theyre nice people. as a general rule for me, all men are idiots unless theyre just mates

Reply 3

Lirael Abhorsen

1

well i'd think about to what degree your ex would mind.. but he cheated on you so i wouldnt worry about what he thinks too much, but another thing to consider is his best mate's friendship with him... as this could put a lot of strain on it... but if he's willing to put this to one side then i'd say go for it!

Reply 4

Segat1

16

I reckon if he cheated on you then he has no right to get all hoity toity about you going out with his best mate. If he does, carefully point out that he cheated on you and therefore all comments from him are null and void.

Reply 5

RobbieC

15

Yeah, just hope there becomes no friction between he and his friend because of it. Being caught in the middle of that could be awkward :s-smilie:

Reply 6

Laursy

10

nah i don;t think it is wrong at all, your ex treated you badly and your exes mate was there to support you if you like him then i saw there is nothing wrong with liking someones mate you deserve to be happy with someone who will treat you right and it sounds to me like he really cares about you!!

go for it if you want to stuff what other people say its your life!!

Reply 7

Fruit-cake

9

even though your ex cheated on you, i think it could mean the end of the friendship for him and his best mate if you went out with the best mate. 2 years is a long time, even if he did cheat on you. if my best mate went out with an ex i had been seeing for 2 years, i dont think i could be as good friends with them, no matter what i had done wrong.

on the other hand if you really like him you should go out with him. its not exactly your fault his best mate is your ex, or that your ex cheated on you... but just consier their friendship before you do anything, out of respect for your (unfaithful) ex lol.

Reply 8

traceyjhenry

1

I was going out with my bf for 5 years before we split up...he finished with me in a taxi after a rather good night out! I am now happily going out with his best friend...and theres a twist, my new bf was newly married to my friend but they split up before i started going out with him because she cheated on him!

Reply 9

Objet trouvé

1

Random question: is it worse to get it on with your ex's mate than it is to get it on with your mate's ex?

Reply 10

sebbie

15

its far worse to get with your mate's ex....... FAR FAR WORSE (ex's mate doesnt matter imo)...

go for it, your boyfriend cheated on you after all.....

Reply 11

Jimmocrates

10

Stay away for the sake of the guy. It'll lead to grief in more ways than i can be bothered to write about and will generally end up with everyone worse off.

Reply 12

hippieglitter

19

If your ex is any kind of gentleman (aside from the cheating) he should want you to be happy and the same for his mate if he's a good friend, so go for it, if your ex doesn't like it, tough, its not his problem or his decison.

Reply 13

elr_moran

2

Jimmocrates

Stay away for the sake of the guy. It'll lead to grief in more ways than i can be bothered to write about and will generally end up with everyone worse off.

What if they're "soulmates?" :smile:

I say, if you want to be the bigger person, you should let your ex know before you do anything, especially if you want to stay friends with him. But I don't think it's completely necessary, if he cheated on you. Also make sure this new nice guy knows the risks- explain to him that you're worried about him losing his best friend through all this, and see what he has to say on the matter. If he's adamant it doesn't matter (maybe he's realised what the guy's really like after cheating on you?!) then I suggest go for it, if you like him :smile:

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

just get a life & do him

Reply 15

FadedJade

15

I dont think it matters whether you let your ex know. If anyone should check its ok then its his best mate.

Reply 16

Eblis_O'_Shaughnessy

5

The bloke is scum if he goes for his mate's ex. End of story.

Reply 17

supernova2

11

Eblis_O'_Shaughnessy

The bloke is scum if he goes for his mate's ex. End of story.

Thats rubbish considering the bloke cheated on her plus this guy might actually be better friends with her than her ex.

your ex will probably find it a bit gay for a couple weeks but i msure hed get used to it. Its a good way to get him back anyhow :smile:

Reply 18

Eblis_O'_Shaughnessy

5

supernova2

Thats rubbish considering the bloke cheated on her plus this guy might actually be better friends with her than her ex.

your ex will probably find it a bit gay for a couple weeks but i msure hed get used to it. Its a good way to get him back anyhow :smile:

If they were friends first then it's different, but you should never go near a mate's ex. It's just not cool. Half the population is women, there are enough to choose from that you're not forced to stab your friend in the back.

Reply 19

myrtille

15

I think it really depends how your ex feels about you. If he still likes you, then it could be a nightmare. But if he isn't really that bothered, I don't see the problem.

My current boyfriend is a friend of my ex, and I met him through my ex. We still all meet up and go out as a group. But on the other hand, when I still liked my ex, a few months back, if he'd gone out with one of my friends, I'd have been distraught.

That said, if you really like your ex's mate (not an impression I got from your post, just that he likes you, but then why would you ask if you didn't like him...) then you should go for it anyway I think. To be honest, it isn't really your ex's business.

fancy ex's mate

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