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Stuck in a boring relationship watch

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    I've been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years now, and we are WAY past any sort of honeymoon stage.

    He's lovely. He is the sort of guy you'd want to marry and have kids with, because you know he will never cheat on you/make you feel ****/have awful arguments with you etc etc etc. He listens to what I have to say, he thinks I'm beautiful and he isn't clingy at all. We see each other maybe twice a week even though we go to the same college.

    The thing is, this is so boring that sometimes I'm glad to see him leave. He is so nice that I have lost all sexual attraction towards him - he just isn't sexy to me anymore and I don't like to look at him when we have sex. We don't kiss anymore, and when we do it is nothing more than a simple peck. This isn't helped by the fact that we mainly speak this stupid 'babytalk' to each other, common phrases being "oo are so kooty" and "boonie! Oo are so manoovie!" (no joke )We can spend a whole day together and talk like this the whole time. It started off by being cute and funny, a "couple" thing, but it really has made me less attracted to him.

    My ex-boyfriend was the opposite of this - mysterious, didn't show his feelings all the time and made me jealous (even if it was subconciously), we had mind-blowing sex, I often felt embarrassed and self-concious when I was around him (in a good way, if that's possible), didn't talk much but was hilairious when he did, rarely affectionate and always moody. I find myself comparing my current boyfriend to him all the time and I hate it.

    TL;DR I am no longer attracted to my long-term boyfriend, but he is so lovely and never lets me down/argues with me/goes in a mood, if i was attracted to him he would be the perfect boyfriend. I am still attracted to my ex (even though nothing will ever happen) and compare my current bf to him all the time.


    What should i do?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Have you been in this position? If so, what did you do about it?
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    All girls love what is bad for them.

    Chocolate. It's bad for you, yet you'll always stuff your face with it.
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    Find a shovel and dig yourself OUT of the boring relationship! Simples!
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    Now you've realised, wouldn't it be better to get out and end it, rather than string him along? :/
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    i can't say i'm in this position or ever have been, but i understand where you're coming from...

    i hate to give that bog-standard reply that everyone already knows they should do, but you do need to talk to him about it. he may be willing to try something different, spice it up a bit! go out on a day trip together and do something completely different, like maybe go to thorpe park for the day? (2 for 1 tickets atm too i think!) then go out for a meal in the evening then go back and experiment a bit

    just do some different things, change where you meet and what you do, stop the baby talk (not gonna lie, little bit weird ), and work together to make your relationship epic again
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    The question is: Can you sit on his knees when he's having a poop?

    Are you that comfortable with eachother?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years now, and we are WAY past any sort of honeymoon stage.

    He's lovely. He is the sort of guy you'd want to marry and have kids with, because you know he will never cheat on you/make you feel ****/have awful arguments with you etc etc etc. He listens to what I have to say, he thinks I'm beautiful and he isn't clingy at all. We see each other maybe twice a week even though we go to the same college.

    The thing is, this is so boring that sometimes I'm glad to see him leave. He is so nice that I have lost all sexual attraction towards him - he just isn't sexy to me anymore and I don't like to look at him when we have sex. We don't kiss anymore, and when we do it is nothing more than a simple peck. This isn't helped by the fact that we mainly speak this stupid 'babytalk' to each other, common phrases being "oo are so kooty" and "boonie! Oo are so manoovie!" (no joke )We can spend a whole day together and talk like this the whole time. It started off by being cute and funny, a "couple" thing, but it really has made me less attracted to him.

    My ex-boyfriend was the opposite of this - mysterious, didn't show his feelings all the time and made me jealous (even if it was subconciously), we had mind-blowing sex, I often felt embarrassed and self-concious when I was around him (in a good way, if that's possible), didn't talk much but was hilairious when he did, rarely affectionate and always moody. I find myself comparing my current boyfriend to him all the time and I hate it.

    TL;DR I am no longer attracted to my long-term boyfriend, but he is so lovely and never lets me down/argues with me/goes in a mood, if i was attracted to him he would be the perfect boyfriend. I am still attracted to my ex (even though nothing will ever happen) and compare my current bf to him all the time.


    What should i do?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Have you been in this position? If so, what did you do about it?
    Ive literally just come out of a long term relationship (nearly 4 years) because my boyfriend felt things had changed and we'd lost our spark. Tell him sooner than later, trust me.
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    (Original post by Lust of a Gardener)
    The question is: Can you sit on his knees when he's having a poop?

    Are you that comfortable with eachother?
    hahaha.............. I actually lol'd out loud a little. :laugh:





    It's easy for everyone to say "Just break up with him" or "Just talk to him about it", but even thinking about either of these is making me feel sick/nervous.
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    If it makes you nervous/sick about talking then don't, just do it. Try something different, don't tell him things need to change, change it a little!
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    Try to put the spark back in yourself - meals out, picnics in the summer, ectr. Recreate the honeymoon period, but without the baby talk and such.
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    ....If you are still thinking about your ex I am not sure what you are doing with him...

    From what you say it sounds like you don't love him anymore... Do you love him? Have you ever loved him? Does he love you?

    You can try and reintroduce the "spark" in, but you will probably have to start and make the effort - maybe make him something, try to cook together, make something, draw together... Try some new sex even, or try and kiss! (as you say you don't seem to be doing much)

    But if you honestly don't think you love him / it isn't going to last, I would probably attempt to start figuring out how to leave him, so he is not strung along and so you don't end up with the wrong person out of inertia.
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    It's possible to be in a LTR with someone who you trust not to cheat on you and who also excites you.

    Don't string him along. "wouldn't cheat on me" is not enough.
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    Just get out of there, seriously. Don't drag it out! but, yeah, sounds like you find nice guys boring and miss dating a total prick.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years now, and we are WAY past any sort of honeymoon stage.

    He's lovely. He is the sort of guy you'd want to marry and have kids with, because you know he will never cheat on you/make you feel ****/have awful arguments with you etc etc etc. He listens to what I have to say, he thinks I'm beautiful and he isn't clingy at all. We see each other maybe twice a week even though we go to the same college.

    The thing is, this is so boring that sometimes I'm glad to see him leave. He is so nice that I have lost all sexual attraction towards him - he just isn't sexy to me anymore and I don't like to look at him when we have sex. We don't kiss anymore, and when we do it is nothing more than a simple peck. This isn't helped by the fact that we mainly speak this stupid 'babytalk' to each other, common phrases being "oo are so kooty" and "boonie! Oo are so manoovie!" (no joke )We can spend a whole day together and talk like this the whole time. It started off by being cute and funny, a "couple" thing, but it really has made me less attracted to him.

    My ex-boyfriend was the opposite of this - mysterious, didn't show his feelings all the time and made me jealous (even if it was subconciously), we had mind-blowing sex, I often felt embarrassed and self-concious when I was around him (in a good way, if that's possible), didn't talk much but was hilairious when he did, rarely affectionate and always moody. I find myself comparing my current boyfriend to him all the time and I hate it.

    TL;DR I am no longer attracted to my long-term boyfriend, but he is so lovely and never lets me down/argues with me/goes in a mood, if i was attracted to him he would be the perfect boyfriend. I am still attracted to my ex (even though nothing will ever happen) and compare my current bf to him all the time.


    What should i do?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Have you been in this position? If so, what did you do about it?
    To put what I'm about to say in context: I'm a guy and about 6 months ago broke up with the perfect girl (smart, beautiful, caring, talented, etc). We'd lost our spark, sex was rare, we were just incredibly comfortable together, etc.

    I started seeing another girl immediately afterwards. I treated her like your ex treated you: mysterious, keeping her on her toes, making her feel jealous, crazy-good sex, give her that self-conscious feeling she loves and hates in equal measure, etc. I'm still seeing her (six months on) and the whole thing's wearing off. We still have spark, still have good sex... but it's more of an effort. And this is six months in. Imagine what that will be like if we're together in a year? I guess it'll be exactly the same situation as with my ex. And I'll probably do the same thing and end up going round in a meaningless cycle of sex --> boredom --> heartbreak.

    But if I had my time again, I'd do exactly the same thing.

    Life is short, meaningless and painful. Feeling something is better than feeling nothing.

    Or maybe it's not. Maybe an anodyne relationship, based on mutual respect and love is the way to combat the crushing futility of life.

    Who knows? Either way, to make sure you're exhausted every avenue, why not try mixing things up with the bf before you dump him? Want mind-blowing sex? Dress up as a naughty school girl and get him to tie you to the bed and punish you (or whatever gets you off). Want a bit more 'edge' in your relationship? Stop the lame terms of endearment. Basically, if you want it to be different then make it different.

    But don't be surprised when he wonders why his schnookum is being all weird and starts to cry.

    Then dump him.
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    OP, if the relationship is boring, it's your fault as much as his (or are you the kind of girl that sees the guys role to constantly entertain her, whereas the girl's role is to tell him if he's doing a good job or not?).

    Try engaging him in a normal conversation? or even a serious one? Discuss issues, the news, art, literature, music. It's not hard to talk to someone.

    Also, maybe he's too shy to be spontaneous and exciting. Next time he walks into your room, lunge at him and have the most rampant animalistic sex you can. Whisper "**** me. **** me hard" when you're in bed (or just on a walk somewhere).

    In short, if you take steps in the relationship, he should follow, and the relationship will become exciting for you both.


    If it doesn't, then leave.
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    trust me. you dont wanna marry a guy you dont love. its ****ed. you dont wanna be one of those married people who fantasize about ****ing strangers on tube.

    btw i can totally understand about you not wanting to **** the guy! who wants to **** a head cheerleader more than once? who wants to **** a popular good looking guy more than once?
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    (Original post by Lust of a Gardener)
    The question is: Can you sit on his knees when he's having a poop?

    Are you that comfortable with eachother?
    :rofl: :rofl: Loved the comment and loved the thread you're referencing :rofl: +1
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    I have been with my bf nearly 4 years, we do the constant baby talk thing are also well past the honeymoon stage. The only difference is I still have to fight back tears when he leaves after a visit for a couple of days, I still call him at 1am just to hear his voice when I can't sleep and I still visit Anne Summers every time I get paid to try and impress him. My point is, just because your relationship is stable and he is nice to you, doesn't mean that there isn't more to relationships than that. Maybe it has just run its course or maybe you can get excited again, maybe go away on a weekend break. Don't be afraid to tell him how you like him to be in the bedroom either. It's amazing how telling him something like "I like it when your angry at me" half way through sex makes things more intense and exciting. You may find him being more commanding makes you see him in a more attractive way.
 
 
 
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