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My Boyfriend's estranged wife keeps harrassing him watch

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    Hi guys, just looking for a second opinion as to whether I'm being a complete mug.

    My boyfriend was with his ex for 10 years, he only got married to her November 2009 and she got pregnant January 2011. They have had various break ups in that time and both have cheated on one another.

    He says he is completely happy with me, and loves our flat and our life and our dog, and we have been together 6 months and living together for the same amount of time (he left her just before but we had been friends for a long time previously and I had a spare room).

    Yet 2 nights ago, for the second time since we've been together, he got drunk with friends and ended up going round to hers and banging the door down at 3am, because i refused to pick him up in my car! He told her we had an argument.

    He says now that he only wanted to see his little boy, which I appreciate. But I still end up looking like a complete idiot.

    She's not a very nice person. He has called her the C word on numerous occasions and states he hates her as she has called him a paedophile! Amongst many other names (I am less than 2 yrs younger than her!). She has also slammed the door in his face very loudly whilst holding her at the time 2 month old premature baby.

    Now last night she was giving me endless amounts of abuse, and making me paranoid saying things like "do you know where he is today? I do!" Well as far as I'm aware he's at work and I know all his friends there who I am sure would tell me if he didn't turn up.

    I really do love him and we do have a wonderful life until he gets drunk. I just don't know how much more emotional abuse I can take!
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    you've been together 6 months but she got pregnant this year?was it his or not :s
    this sounds like a horrible situation. ignore her abuse she's probably only trying to make you jealous but also have a word with him. it's not acceptable to just go running back to her and telling her you two have had an argument. he needs to show he's serious about you and she'll have no choice but to shut up and let you get on with it
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    Do you mean she gave birth in January 2011?
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    (Original post by hanaalou)
    you've been together 6 months but she got pregnant this year?was it his or not :s
    this sounds like a horrible situation. ignore her abuse she's probably only trying to make you jealous but also have a word with him. it's not acceptable to just go running back to her and telling her you two have had an argument. he needs to show he's serious about you and she'll have no choice but to shut up and let you get on with it
    This is what I thought.
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    6 months is virtually no time and he's already gone running back to his wife because you had an argument? Not to mention that he risked waking up his own child at 3 o'clock in the morning, what father visits his children at that hour? He sounds like he's playing the two of you off against each other.

    Also it's strange that the thread title is 'My Boyfriend's estranged wife keeps harrassing him', banging on her door at 3am also sounds like harrassment to me.
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    (Original post by ladyjane24)
    Hi guys, just looking for a second opinion as to whether I'm being a complete mug.

    My boyfriend was with his ex for 10 years, he only got married to her November 2009 and she got pregnant January 2011. They have had various break ups in that time and both have cheated on one another.

    He says he is completely happy with me, and loves our flat and our life and our dog, and we have been together 6 months and living together for the same amount of time (he left her just before but we had been friends for a long time previously and I had a spare room).

    Yet 2 nights ago, for the second time since we've been together, he got drunk with friends and ended up going round to hers and banging the door down at 3am, because i refused to pick him up in my car! He told her we had an argument.

    He says now that he only wanted to see his little boy, which I appreciate. But I still end up looking like a complete idiot.

    She's not a very nice person. He has called her the C word on numerous occasions and states he hates her as she has called him a paedophile! Amongst many other names (I am less than 2 yrs younger than her!). She has also slammed the door in his face very loudly whilst holding her at the time 2 month old premature baby.

    Now last night she was giving me endless amounts of abuse, and making me paranoid saying things like "do you know where he is today? I do!" Well as far as I'm aware he's at work and I know all his friends there who I am sure would tell me if he didn't turn up.

    I really do love him and we do have a wonderful life until he gets drunk. I just don't know how much more emotional abuse I can take!
    From your post it appears you are slightly one sided, and your man sounds as the proper idiot, going to the ex cos you wouldnt pick him up? then he says he only went to see is son? so why didnt he see his son instead of going on out with friends? it sounds like he's playing both of you...wake up open your eyes and fix up woman!
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    Hahahaha. First mistake - going for a guy with a kid. Second mistake - going for a guy that has cheated. Third mistake - going for a guy who has a drinking problem.
    Enjoy this **** storm you've brought on yourself.
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    If you know his drinking is the major problem, tell him to stop drinking. If he's caring enough to know as well that it's not affecting him positively at all, he should try to stop. Or at least reduce the amount.
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    (Original post by Mazty)
    Hahahaha. First mistake - going for a guy with a kid. Second mistake - going for a guy that has cheated. Third mistake - going for a guy who has a drinking problem.
    Enjoy this **** storm you've brought on yourself.
    how is that a mistake?
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    (Original post by emeritus2011)
    how is that a mistake?
    Knocking up a chick you aren't still with shows extreme lack of foresight.
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    (Original post by Mazty)
    Knocking up a chick you aren't still with shows extreme lack of foresight.
    you stated its a mistake to go with someone who already has a child...
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    Six months really isn't a long time. To me, it sounds like the "harassment" goes both ways and he's trying to play you off against each other to make himself look like the victim, when he's actually the one who causes a lot of the aggro. Obviously they still have a lot of unfinished business and are still very immature. In my opinion, it sounds like way more trouble then it's worth.
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    (Original post by emeritus2011)
    you stated its a mistake to go with someone who already has a child...
    :facepalm:
    I mean getting a woman pregnant, and then leaving her, shows extreme lack of foresight on the guys behalf as he got someone pregnant who he clearly isn't too keen on as they are not still together. Unless you are certain you are going to get married etc, don't get the chick pregnant. The guy clearly is a bad judge of character.
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    Wait a minute...something doesn't add up - unless you mean she gave birth in Jan 2011.
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    Hi Guys, thanks for all the kind replies....She gave birth in August last year, sorry if it didn't make sense, the slamming the door incident was a few months ago. He was prem so she got pregnant in Jan 2010.

    He moved in with me Oct.

    Problem is that I love him! I agree that she is trying to make him jealous! Just so sick of it have finally lost my temper with her, she has my mobile number as we used to know each other through my bf.

    He does know he drinks too much but every time he's on a downer with his depression he just thinks drinking is the cure, even though he was on tablets for a while and he was so much more chilled and happy then.

    He told me the truth which I have to give him credit for as a lot of men wouldn't.

    Mazty - you're reply made me laugh but again that would be easy to run away from if I didn't love him! And the kid really isn't a problem I sometimes go out with him and his son.

    Thanks again x
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    Amazing what love/lust can do to you...

    This guy is obviously a player, gets to knock up other women and then abandon their baby shortly after, and still manages to hook with up with women like OP. You deserve better, at the very least a man who doesn't have kids, who can commit to one relationship - you. I just don't understand why you are willing to play the bit on his side - look at his record - baby in Jan, with you in October. Obviously he couldn't hack it. What's to say he won't abandon you for another woman when you get pregnant by him? There are plenty of his sort out there

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...n-engaged.html



    Out of interest, what exactly do you love about him? The two timing? Drinking? Depression? Hey, at least he's honest!
 
 
 
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