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    Well my guess is she was dead already when you saw her. Anyway i'm guessing whoever called the ambulance called it right away and seen as 5 minutes is the government target for ambulances arriving I don't see how you could have messed up.

    I saw that show about motorbike ambulances...they take about 3 minutes to get to scenes even on some really short journeys so a normal ambulance taking 5 minutes is quick.

    Think about it if somebody else called straight away it makes no difference if you didn't call.

    Hope this makes some sense...probably won't because i've been awake a very long time
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    Of course your shaken up. I've seen two people die before, both little girls and I was really shaken up both times. It's not a nice thing to see
    :console:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So it's normal to react like this? I'm not being an emo? It's probably just sticking with me because it was barely a street away from my primary school and I cross the road recklessly. Gives me the feeling that it could have easily been me. :s

    everyone reacts differently some less some more than what your going through, you just need to give yourself time
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    (Original post by chemical_bex)
    Of course your shaken up. I've seen two people die before, both little girls and I was really shaken up both times. It's not a nice thing to see
    :console:
    Not to pry but how come in your shortish life you've seen little girls die...twice?

    I've been very sheltered from death...only experience of it has been 2 relatives and a teacher and i didn't actually see anything it was basically just - i know them, phone saying they were dead, not going to funeral and they are just gone.
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    (Original post by gm15)
    Not to pry but how come in your shortish life you've seen little girls die...twice?

    I've been very sheltered from death...only experience of it has been 2 relatives and a teacher and i didn't actually see anything it was basically just - i know them, phone saying they were dead, not going to funeral and they are just gone.
    Once when I was on holiday a girl was jumping along the wall on the beach, she slipped and hit her head off the corner of the wall. It was really not nice.
    I saw a little girl get hit by a car in Liverpool - that was 100% worse, I don't even like thinking about it, it was all in slow motion
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    Aww im sorry death is a horrible thing to see and experience you have to realise it is a part of life though... I've seen quite a few people die now, it is very sad, but you couldn't have done anything else so don't beat yourself up over it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete. Cheers.



    I don't really know how to write or say this without rambling because I'm a bit messed up atm. Just bear with me for a little while. I was walking an hour ago to Sainsbury's to pick up some snacks when I saw a small black lady on the floor laying face down in a bus lane. I stopped, thinking it was a little fellow from the local comprehensive because she was wearing all-black with a white collar. Anyone who lives in London will know what I'm talking about. Anyway, I froze and some men started running to her body. They tried wake her, put an umbrella over and other things like shouting at the driver. She didn't move at all. It was just so horrible seeing her lifeless especially because she's so tiny and innocent looking to me. IDK, she reminds me of my own mother and my own mortality. It's tearing me up thinking that she woke up this morning not knowing that it would be her last day. Knowing that her children will be called by the police or hospital soon.



    Even worse is that I didn't call the ambulance straight away like I should have because I was in shock. Now I feel disgusted with myself and sort of nauseous. I just stood there like a ****ing nonce. They came five minutes after but it was too late I think. She might have had that one critical time window and I blew it for her.


    Is it unhealthy that I feel like this as a stranger for a stranger? Should I 'woman' up?





    PS: Please look before you cross. Not joking.
    she might not have been dead; you didn[t see the death certificate and maybe she was given electric shock treatment to bring her round later in casualty
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    (Original post by chemical_bex)
    Once when I was on holiday a girl was jumping along the wall on the beach, she slipped and hit her head off the corner of the wall. It was really not nice.
    I saw a little girl get hit by a car in Liverpool - that was 100% worse, I don't even like thinking about it, it was all in slow motion
    Oh my god that's horrible, both are. Especially the wall one, shows how quickly life can end.
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    Are you sure she was dead? Not just unconscious? What hit her, and did the driver stop?
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    Put it like this, I am a trained lifesaver and first aider, and a qualified lifeguard. But I know if I was in a situation where I had seen someone die, I'd have frozen up in shock too.
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    You say the ambulance turned up 5 minutes after you saw the accident - if you think about it, this means that somebody probably called right away anyway - there is always going to be a gap between calling the ambulance and them turning up. So you calling would have made no difference as they were probably contacted at that point anyway.
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    (Original post by WelshBluebird)
    Put it like this, I am a trained lifesaver and first aider, and a qualified lifeguard. But I know if I was in a situation where I had seen someone die, I'd have frozen up in shock too.
    I do agree with this, I work in a hospital at the moment and it is always a shock when seeing death even if you know someone is going to die.... it's only natural to feel upset.
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    (Original post by mitchwales)
    Uh.. you describe yourself as being like a nonce.. do you realise that is a word used for paedophile??

    Totally irrelevant to your post but probably something you should know!

    Many people would freeze up, it would seem unreal to them and rather shocking. Don't cut yourself up over it, because if you're ever in a similar position again it might just help you save someone.
    Nonce isn't a word used for a paedophile, that is incorrect.

    OP, I don't know what advice to offer as I've not been in that situation, but try not to dwell on it, these things do happen and don't blame yourself
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    (Original post by IlexAquifolium)
    Very sad - I think it'd be a pretty heartless person that wasn't completely shaken up. Don't be too hard on yourself either, it's very unlikely that the ambulance turning up quicker would have made a difference and we all react oddly when we're in shock. Hope you feel better, poor lady.
    I disagree. There are just too many factors involved, the person's health (or mental health), or someone who deals with corpses everyday as part of their career, or someone who expresses emotion differently to you etc.

    I know you're probably just offering words of comfort to the OP, but just because someone else doesn't feel the same way doesn't mean they're heartless.

    The first time I saw someone die, I was young, it made me curious, it compelled me to enquire and learn about the life cycle and why people die - was I heartless back then because I wasn't shaken up? The second time I saw someone die, I wasn't shaken up, I accepted the reality of what happened and understood that these things happen, it's a part of everyday life, I grieved (people even do this in different ways to others) and then I moved on - I don't think I was heartless back then to think/behave this way.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I stopped, thinking it was a little fellow from the local comprehensive because she was wearing all-black with a white collar. Anyone who lives in London will know what I'm talking about.
    I'm not from London, but I'm curious. What were you talking about?
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    When things like that happen everyone's reaction is unpredictable. Time feels strange, things go in slow motion, adrenaline kicks in. The most important thing you did for that lady was to call for the ambulance, you did that faster than anyone else did and for that you should be proud of yourself. Your percieved 'delayed reaction' may only have been a minute or so and in the grand scheme of things would most likely have made no difference. She, and her family & friends, would be humbled by your thoughts of concern and how your actions were always in her best interests.

    How you are feeling now is the feeling that makes you human. It's not an emotion that should be squashed or ignored. Medics see these things so often that they become almost immune to it, but I'll bet you anything that there is a tinge of sadness for anyone who they don't manage to save.

    You did well, be proud of yourself. If you find it helps, light a candle or something for her this evening.

    x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Is it unhealthy that I feel like this as a stranger for a stranger? Should I 'woman' up?
    No & Yes. I mean I know what you mean, I saw a women get run over a few years ago - that wasn't nice at all. But you need to move on, death happens all the time, just this year I've lost three grandparents. Life is short, enjoy it while you can.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    They came five minutes after but it was too late I think. She might have had that one critical time window and I blew it for her.
    If she was dead when the ambulance got there, then she wouldn't have made it to the hospital even if she'd collapsed in front of the ambulance. Nothing that you could have done. Simple as.

    Someone else also probably rang the ambulance anyway, so whether you were slow or not makes no difference.

    No point in blaming yourself for something you couldn't have changed.
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    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    I disagree. There are just too many factors involved, the person's health (or mental health), or someone who deals with corpses everyday as part of their career, or someone who expresses emotion differently to you etc.

    I know you're probably just offering words of comfort to the OP, but just because someone else doesn't feel the same way doesn't mean they're heartless.

    The first time I saw someone die, I was young, it made me curious, it compelled me to enquire and learn about the life cycle and why people die - was I heartless back then because I wasn't shaken up? The second time I saw someone die, I wasn't shaken up, I accepted the reality of what happened and understood that these things happen, it's a part of everyday life, I grieved (people even do this in different ways to others) and then I moved on - I don't think I was heartless back then to think/behave this way.
    Fair enough. But it did cause you to think - so ultimately, it did shake you. That's all I meant, not necessarily having a fit of hysterics. I think you can't not be shocked in some way when you're confronted by death for the first time. Anyway, I take your point, it was poor wording.
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    (Original post by Miss Communication)
    I'm not from London, but I'm curious. What were you talking about?

    I was alluding to the uniform usually worn by children who attend inner London comprehensives. Black trousers, black jumper, white polo shirt.

    (Original post by diamondsky99)
    When things like that happen everyone's reaction is unpredictable. Time feels strange, things go in slow motion, adrenaline kicks in. The most important thing you did for that lady was to call for the ambulance, you did that faster than anyone else did and for that you should be proud of yourself. Your percieved 'delayed reaction' may only have been a minute or so and in the grand scheme of things would most likely have made no difference. She, and her family & friends, would be humbled by your thoughts of concern and how your actions were always in her best interests.

    How you are feeling now is the feeling that makes you human. It's not an emotion that should be squashed or ignored. Medics see these things so often that they become almost immune to it, but I'll bet you anything that there is a tinge of sadness for anyone who they don't manage to save.

    You did well, be proud of yourself. If you find it helps, light a candle or something for her this evening.

    x

    Thanks a lot. This is a really helpful and kind post. :hugs:



    (Original post by Jmzie-Coupe)
    Are you sure she was dead? Not just unconscious? What hit her, and did the driver stop?

    It was fatal. She was hit by a small Corsa that was speeding in a bus lane as she headed for the bus herself. The driver had to stop because there were two officers on foot but he looked very angry.
 
 
 
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