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    • #2
    #2

    Some comments here have made me think.

    I work in a hospital, and I have seen death - well rather dead people. I have helped to "package" someone into their body bag. And I have looked at dissected people at med school too.

    I wouldn't say it is shocking, or horrible. I hope that's not heartless. I feel thoughtful and I wonder about their life, but not so much sad. It's odd seeing and feeling (through sheets as they are packed) a dead persons body, all lifeless, like a machine with the batteries out. So strange that they were so recently alive as well, so recently thinking and doing and now they never will again.
    The biggest feeling is how peculiar it is!

    But the ones in hospital are usually very ill (often also very old) and expecting (some waiting, really) to die. I suppose accidents and other surprising deaths are more shocking and upsetting. I have never actually seen someone die.

    The first patient I knew had died (but didn't see his body) I decided to remember his name, because I liked him. But I can't remember it now. I guess that's kinda sad.

    But death comes around, don't let it upset you too much. Although I sympathise that you would be upset. I don't think it is unusual at all. And remember there is probably nothing you could have done, for the ambulance to arrive in 5 mins someone had already called it I think.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Some comments here have made me think.

    I work in a hospital, and I have seen death - well rather dead people. I have helped to "package" someone into their body bag. And I have looked at dissected people at med school too.

    I wouldn't say it is shocking, or horrible. I hope that's not heartless. I feel thoughtful and I wonder about their life, but not so much sad. It's odd seeing and feeling (through sheets as they are packed) a dead persons body, all lifeless, like a machine with the batteries out. So strange that they were so recently alive as well, so recently thinking and doing and now they never will again.
    The biggest feeling is how peculiar it is!

    But the ones in hospital are usually very ill (often also very old) and expecting (some waiting, really) to die. I suppose accidents and other surprising deaths are more shocking and upsetting. I have never actually seen someone die.

    The first patient I knew had died (but didn't see his body) I decided to remember his name, because I liked him. But I can't remember it now. I guess that's kinda sad.

    But death comes around, don't let it upset you too much. Although I sympathise that you would be upset. I don't think it is unusual at all. And remember there is probably nothing you could have done, for the ambulance to arrive in 5 mins someone had already called it I think.
    I'm over the initial shock now. The hysteria has subsided now that I'm looking at it in the grand scale of things and internalised it as a fact of life. I suppose you understand that 'surreal' feeling that you get afterwards? Like you think it's not happening but it really is?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete. Cheers.



    I don't really know how to write or say this without rambling because I'm a bit messed up atm. Just bear with me for a little while. I was walking an hour ago to Sainsbury's to pick up some snacks when I saw a small black lady on the floor laying face down in a bus lane. I stopped, thinking it was a little fellow from the local comprehensive because she was wearing all-black with a white collar. Anyone who lives in London will know what I'm talking about. Anyway, I froze and some men started running to her body. They tried wake her, put an umbrella over and other things like shouting at the driver. She didn't move at all. It was just so horrible seeing her lifeless especially because she's so tiny and innocent looking to me. IDK, she reminds me of my own mother and my own mortality. It's tearing me up thinking that she woke up this morning not knowing that it would be her last day. Knowing that her children will be called by the police or hospital soon.


    Even worse is that I didn't call the ambulance straight away like I should have because I was in shock. Now I feel disgusted with myself and sort of nauseous. I just stood there like a ****ing nonce. They came five minutes after but it was too late I think. She might have had that one critical time window and I blew it for her.


    Is it unhealthy that I feel like this as a stranger for a stranger? Should I 'woman' up?





    PS: Please look before you cross. Not joking.


    Damn, my friend who lives near there was telling me about it... He told me it happened real close to his house. Rip to the lady.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Diabolic99)
    Damn, my friend who lives near there was telling me about it... He told me it happened real close to his house. Rip to the lady.

    Where does your friend live?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete. Cheers.



    I don't really know how to write or say this without rambling because I'm a bit messed up atm. Just bear with me for a little while. I was walking an hour ago to Sainsbury's to pick up some snacks when I saw a small black lady on the floor laying face down in a bus lane. I stopped, thinking it was a little fellow from the local comprehensive because she was wearing all-black with a white collar. Anyone who lives in London will know what I'm talking about. Anyway, I froze and some men started running to her body. They tried wake her, put an umbrella over and other things like shouting at the driver. She didn't move at all. It was just so horrible seeing her lifeless especially because she's so tiny and innocent looking to me. IDK, she reminds me of my own mother and my own mortality. It's tearing me up thinking that she woke up this morning not knowing that it would be her last day. Knowing that her children will be called by the police or hospital soon.


    Even worse is that I didn't call the ambulance straight away like I should have because I was in shock. Now I feel disgusted with myself and sort of nauseous. I just stood there like a ****ing nonce. They came five minutes after but it was too late I think. She might have had that one critical time window and I blew it for her.


    Is it unhealthy that I feel like this as a stranger for a stranger? Should I 'woman' up?





    PS: Please look before you cross. Not joking.
    Terrible.

    Don't worry about being useless. You can't help it. When my Gran died in December, I couldn't do anything except sit there and watch as she deteriorated in her bed. A week it took, and I was unable to do anything, just incapable. When it was over, I felt empty. Wasn't able to do anything except repeat to myself "she'll be alright, she'll get better."

    Moral of the story: you can't expect yourself to be able to be superwoman or superman in a situation like that. You weren't trained to cope with things like that. It would be unfair to expect you to be able to think logically when you're put in a place like that.

    PM me if you want someone to talk to, OK?

    :hugs:
    • #3
    #3

    I'm so glad I have faith and religion
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    (Original post by -J-B-)
    Nonce isn't a word used for a paedophile, that is incorrect.

    OP, I don't know what advice to offer as I've not been in that situation, but try not to dwell on it, these things do happen and don't blame yourself
    n the United Kingdom and Australia, the term nonce (sometimes spelled "nonse") is a slang word used to refer to a sex offender and/or child sexual abuser.
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonce_(slang)
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    We all die, get over it
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm over the initial shock now. The hysteria has subsided now that I'm looking at it in the grand scale of things and internalised it as a fact of life. I suppose you understand that 'surreal' feeling that you get afterwards? Like you think it's not happening but it really is?
    Yeah that's just it. Death is surreal.

    I guess we're just not programmed to really accept it, that's why the situation almost feels "fake".

    Whenever I have seen or handled a dead body, obviously I know it is real, but it seems really really strange like it is a trick, or like they were never alive.
    Especially you can feel all of the muscle and skin moving as you handle a limb for example, because it has no tone like a living person would. And you can look into their eyes or at their face and it seems very unreal to think of them having expressions and looking around, or talking once.

    So so strange but for me not a bad experience. I find it kind of privileged somehow.

    But surreal = normal I think.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Even worse is that I didn't call the ambulance straight away like I should have because I was in shock. Now I feel disgusted with myself and sort of nauseous. I just stood there like a ****ing nonce. They came five minutes after but it was too late I think. She might have had that one critical time window and I blew it for her.
    .
    Don't be silly, if anyone blew it for her in this respect its the people who were already there before you who didn't call the ambulance.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks to all that have responded so far. I have my head screwed on properly now.





    Could a Moderator close this thread please?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete. Cheers.



    I don't really know how to write or say this without rambling because I'm a bit messed up atm. Just bear with me for a little while. I was walking an hour ago to Sainsbury's to pick up some snacks when I saw a small black lady on the floor laying face down in a bus lane. I stopped, thinking it was a little fellow from the local comprehensive because she was wearing all-black with a white collar. Anyone who lives in London will know what I'm talking about. Anyway, I froze and some men started running to her body. They tried wake her, put an umbrella over and other things like shouting at the driver. She didn't move at all. It was just so horrible seeing her lifeless especially because she's so tiny and innocent looking to me. IDK, she reminds me of my own mother and my own mortality. It's tearing me up thinking that she woke up this morning not knowing that it would be her last day. Knowing that her children will be called by the police or hospital soon.


    Even worse is that I didn't call the ambulance straight away like I should have because I was in shock. Now I feel disgusted with myself and sort of nauseous. I just stood there like a ****ing nonce. They came five minutes after but it was too late I think. She might have had that one critical time window and I blew it for her.


    Is it unhealthy that I feel like this as a stranger for a stranger? Should I 'woman' up?





    PS: Please look before you cross. Not joking.
    Of course it's normal! You're feeling sympathy. I'm sorry you had to experience that, but you must stop blaming yourself. It will not get you anywhere, but may lead to destruction.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete. Cheers.



    I don't really know how to write or say this without rambling because I'm a bit messed up atm. Just bear with me for a little while. I was walking an hour ago to Sainsbury's to pick up some snacks when I saw a small black lady on the floor laying face down in a bus lane. I stopped, thinking it was a little fellow from the local comprehensive because she was wearing all-black with a white collar. Anyone who lives in London will know what I'm talking about. Anyway, I froze and some men started running to her body. They tried wake her, put an umbrella over and other things like shouting at the driver. She didn't move at all. It was just so horrible seeing her lifeless especially because she's so tiny and innocent looking to me. IDK, she reminds me of my own mother and my own mortality. It's tearing me up thinking that she woke up this morning not knowing that it would be her last day. Knowing that her children will be called by the police or hospital soon.


    Even worse is that I didn't call the ambulance straight away like I should have because I was in shock. Now I feel disgusted with myself and sort of nauseous. I just stood there like a ****ing nonce. They came five minutes after but it was too late I think. She might have had that one critical time window and I blew it for her.


    Is it unhealthy that I feel like this as a stranger for a stranger? Should I 'woman' up?





    PS: Please look before you cross. Not joking.
    I have seen someone die too. It's a horrible experience. Thing is you have to accept that it was not in any way your fault. And the shock was only natural. That is how life goes, nobody knows how their life will unfold. I could drop dead before I even manage to post this. (of course I haven't seeing as you are reading it. lol)

    anyway, you can't blame yourself for something like this. It will take time to move on and it is a depressing thing. But you have to accept it and move on!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Where does your friend live?
    Herne hill
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    It is not a good situation at all and I empathise with you.

    I suppose my first question would be what snacks were you going for? Was was the shop still open to get them? Gutted for you if not.
    • #4
    #4

    I've seen a few strangers dead bodies in funerals and things like that, as a Muslim it's encouraged to go to funerals even when young (I am for children going to funerals, that's life and they shouldnt be shielded against it). One thing I would say OP, let this put your life in perspective. Incidents like this make you realise what's important and what's not, and what your goals should be in life. We often get sidetracked so this is an excellent reminder for you eg you could be more helpful to your parents and value them more.

    It's worse when you see someone you love die. I watched as my mum's heart rate monitor flatlined just like in ER/casualty. Heartbreaking isn't the word. I now understand how a lot of people say you never actually get over a close one dying... ever.
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    (Original post by gm15)
    Not to pry but how come in your shortish life you've seen little girls die...twice?

    I've been very sheltered from death...only experience of it has been 2 relatives and a teacher and i didn't actually see anything it was basically just - i know them, phone saying they were dead, not going to funeral and they are just gone.
    OK thanks to whoever gave me positive rep but....why dig somebody neg me for this? I wasn't rude or controversial in any way.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete. Cheers.



    I don't really know how to write or say this without rambling because I'm a bit messed up atm. Just bear with me for a little while. I was walking an hour ago to Sainsbury's to pick up some snacks when I saw a small black lady on the floor laying face down in a bus lane. I stopped, thinking it was a little fellow from the local comprehensive because she was wearing all-black with a white collar. Anyone who lives in London will know what I'm talking about. Anyway, I froze and some men started running to her body. They tried wake her, put an umbrella over and other things like shouting at the driver. She didn't move at all. It was just so horrible seeing her lifeless especially because she's so tiny and innocent looking to me. IDK, she reminds me of my own mother and my own mortality. It's tearing me up thinking that she woke up this morning not knowing that it would be her last day. Knowing that her children will be called by the police or hospital soon.


    Even worse is that I didn't call the ambulance straight away like I should have because I was in shock. Now I feel disgusted with myself and sort of nauseous. I just stood there like a ****ing nonce. They came five minutes after but it was too late I think. She might have had that one critical time window and I blew it for her.


    Is it unhealthy that I feel like this as a stranger for a stranger? Should I 'woman' up?





    PS: Please look before you cross. Not joking.
    This is actually freaking me out. You said you live in London; I live in London. You mean Central London, or Greater London? Because, if you live in Kingston, my dad was talking to me about how this man got run over by a bus, and this WAS NEAR SAINSBURYS as well. Wow. What's up with deaths and Sainsburys?

    Don't worry. There was this period of time and like every other day, I heard about someone dying. This woman committed suicide by jumping off the escalator in the Bentalls. Next day, my best friend's mum died; my baby brother's friend's mum died; a fox died in my school, I saw a headless swan on my way to the bus stop with bright red blood all over its feathers. I know it's not as bad as humans but it's all building up. And, then that man died near Sainsburys. I was feeling so moody for days....it was really depressing.
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    (Original post by Niall2407)
    Is this the related story? or is this something completely different?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-12781806
    That girl was a white dancer in Billy Elliot
 
 
 
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