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Having a boyfriend makes me feel worthless watch

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    First off, I know I am totally irrational, and it's not normal to think this way.

    When I was single, I didn't worry about what people thought about me. I only cared about how I felt about myself. I didn't really have a lot of friends, and those I did I never opened up my "whole" self too.

    But then I got a boyfriend, and started becoming involved emotionally and physically. I've only ever had sex with 1 person, because I never wanted to share myself with anyone- I didn't want someone ELSE to look at, and judge my naked body. After I had started having sex, I started to feel very doubtful about myself. I didn't care about other girls and porn before- because no one could compare me with others as no one had seen me naked/having sex. But the fact that my boyfriend watches porn, makes me feel 1. That my body isn't good enough. 2. That I'm not good at sex. I know that's silly, because porn isn't about emotional, but I can't help it. I feel like I've given him everything physically, but it STILL isn't enough.

    But what effects me a lot more than the porn, is the fact that he lost his virginity to someone else (not an ex gf by the way). I KNOW that I shouldn't care about his past. And I wouldn't care, if I had had other sexual partners before. But lets face it, I will not be the 1 that's remembered for him, you can never beat your "first." I will become just another notch on the bed post. I look on her facebook a lot, at her pics....I imagine him kissing her, getting intimate with her......


    This all makes me want to break up with him sometimes, but I love him and enjoy the non-sexual things we do together. But you can't really have a relationship without that though can you.....

    I just need help. I know this isn't normal, and I'd probably have these issues with any guy.
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    About the feeling worthless with a boyfriend and not liking him losing his virginity to his ex - yes, that's slightly strange, not gonna lie.

    And porn means nothing. Real girls >>>>>>>>>>>>>> porn
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    (Original post by sil3nt_cha0s)
    About the feeling worthless with a boyfriend and not liking him losing his virginity to his ex - yes, that's slightly strange, not gonna lie.

    And porn means nothing. Real girls >>>>>>>>>>>>>> porn
    She wasn't an ex though, just a girl that offered. Maybe that's what makes it worse I don't know.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She wasn't an ex though, just a girl that offered. Maybe that's what makes it worse I don't know.
    oh wait, I misread. why does that make any difference to things?
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    (Original post by sil3nt_cha0s)
    oh wait, I misread. why does that make any difference to things?
    I'm not sure, maybe because he's not very picky if you get what I mean.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The fact that my boyfriend watches porn, makes me feel 1. That my body isn't good enough. 2. That I'm not good at sex
    This does not compute, unless he's making you feel that way e.g. not paying you much attention, not that interested when you have sex and often into his/seems to prefer his porn..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    First off, I know I am totally irrational, and it's not normal to think this way.

    When I was single, I didn't worry about what people thought about me. I only cared about how I felt about myself. I didn't really have a lot of friends, and those I did I never opened up my "whole" self too.

    But then I got a boyfriend, and started becoming involved emotionally and physically. I've only ever had sex with 1 person, because I never wanted to share myself with anyone- I didn't want someone ELSE to look at, and judge my naked body. After I had started having sex, I started to feel very doubtful about myself. I didn't care about other girls and porn before- because no one could compare me with others as no one had seen me naked/having sex. But the fact that my boyfriend watches porn, makes me feel 1. That my body isn't good enough. 2. That I'm not good at sex. I know that's silly, because porn isn't about emotional, but I can't help it. I feel like I've given him everything physically, but it STILL isn't enough.

    But what effects me a lot more than the porn, is the fact that he lost his virginity to someone else (not an ex gf by the way). I KNOW that I shouldn't care about his past. And I wouldn't care, if I had had other sexual partners before. But lets face it, I will not be the 1 that's remembered for him, you can never beat your "first." I will become just another notch on the bed post. I look on her facebook a lot, at her pics....I imagine him kissing her, getting intimate with her......


    This all makes me want to break up with him sometimes, but I love him and enjoy the non-sexual things we do together. But you can't really have a relationship without that though can you.....

    I just need help. I know this isn't normal, and I'd probably have these issues with any guy.
    sorry but l had to lol :afro:
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    This does not compute, unless he's making you feel that way e.g. not paying you much attention, not that interested when you have sex and often into his/seems to prefer his porn..
    He talks about porn a lot, maybe that's why.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    First off, I know I am totally irrational, and it's not normal to think this way.

    When I was single, I didn't worry about what people thought about me. I only cared about how I felt about myself. I didn't really have a lot of friends, and those I did I never opened up my "whole" self too.

    But then I got a boyfriend, and started becoming involved emotionally and physically. I've only ever had sex with 1 person, because I never wanted to share myself with anyone- I didn't want someone ELSE to look at, and judge my naked body. After I had started having sex, I started to feel very doubtful about myself. I didn't care about other girls and porn before- because no one could compare me with others as no one had seen me naked/having sex. But the fact that my boyfriend watches porn, makes me feel 1. That my body isn't good enough. 2. That I'm not good at sex. I know that's silly, because porn isn't about emotional, but I can't help it. I feel like I've given him everything physically, but it STILL isn't enough.

    But what effects me a lot more than the porn, is the fact that he lost his virginity to someone else (not an ex gf by the way). I KNOW that I shouldn't care about his past. And I wouldn't care, if I had had other sexual partners before. But lets face it, I will not be the 1 that's remembered for him, you can never beat your "first." I will become just another notch on the bed post. I look on her facebook a lot, at her pics....I imagine him kissing her, getting intimate with her......


    This all makes me want to break up with him sometimes, but I love him and enjoy the non-sexual things we do together. But you can't really have a relationship without that though can you.....

    I just need help. I know this isn't normal, and I'd probably have these issues with any guy.
    Maybe your into girls?

    (Nothing wrong with that)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He talks about porn a lot, maybe that's why
    Depends how he talks about it? Unless he's comparing you to porn stars or complaining about aspects you can't change this shouldn't be an issue

    Most girls disregard porn in that sense, or at least realise that it's not something they should concern themselves with living up to.. in just the same way as most lads disregard Hollywood depictions of 'the perfect guy'.. :rolleyes:
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    Totally fine to feel these OP. And it’s not weird!
    you know what is weird though..The fact that someone can feel totally normal with the fact that their partner has screwed other people. I mean why do you think people cheat! Cause they get so casual about these kinds of things!
    I know i'm going to get a lot of Neg's for this but deep deep down everyone hates the fact their partner has been intimate with someone before them unless they're on the same boat. And every guy hates other guys perving on their partners (unless they're pussies).
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    ..or unless they truly value their partners as individuals (with needs), appreciate a certain level of 'experience' and aren't totally insecure :rolleyes:

    Sure few normal people like to think of their partner being intimate with anyone else (past, present, or future), however does that mean we dwell upon the fact they've been intimate with others in the past? Hell no! That ent reasonable, nor an outlook conducive to good mental health!

    Also, in some respects it's actually better for y'all if your partner's had a number of other 'early' (usually pretty dire) experiences, that way if you're compatible/any good he'll appreciate you all the more
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    ..or unless they truly value their partners, appreciate a certain level of 'experience' and aren't totally insecure.. :rolleyes:
    yeah..ok. :cookie:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Totally fine to feel these OP. And it’s not weird!
    you know what is weird though..The fact that someone can feel totally normal with the fact that their partner has screwed other people. I mean why do you think people cheat! Cause they get so casual about these kinds of things!
    I know i'm going to get a lot of Neg's for this but deep deep down everyone hates the fact their partner has been intimate with someone before them unless they're on the same boat. And every guy hates other guys perving on their partners (unless they're pussies).
    No it isn't fine, if you can't handle the fact that your partner has been with other people then you're probably going to lead a very unhappy life. Yeah, you might find someone who's still a virign. How many people are still virgins over the age of 21? A few, but not very many. It's pretty unhealthy to put such a huge emphasis on virginity anyway.
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    I really don't believe that you can "never beat your first". I'm sure most people have very memorable partners, that were definitely not their first.
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    i dunno. i agree with OP.

    im virgin, with my ex he slept with 100s of girls (he was a 40 y/o playah) but of those gals im really the most jealous of his ex wife who almost had his baby (miscarriage) and his girl he lost his virg to age 17.

    virginity is important girls and dudes, keep it for your husbands and wivs
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    dudes, keep it for your husbands and wives
    My wife will thank the Lord I'm well versed in the ways of the world I can assure ye
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    My wife will thank the Lord I'm well versed in the ways of the world I can assure ye
    tbh this made me lol :rofl:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    And I wouldn't care, if I had had other sexual partners before. But lets face it, I will not be the 1 that's remembered for him, you can never beat your "first." I will become just another notch on the bed post.
    rofl, why do people think this?

    There's nothing mystical about the first person you had sex with that makes you remember them more than anyone else. :lolwut: Especially if you weren't even in a relationship with that person.

    Of course you can "beat your first", what a silly suggestion. I've never heard anyone say that their first was the best they've ever had. For the vast majority of people it's the complete opposite - their sexual experiences get progressively better as they mature.
 
 
 
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