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By boyfriend has a crush on another girl, what do I do? watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I should probably also mention that the night he said I couldn't join them, he was pictured holding hands with her in the club.. :/
    He is probably having sex with her right now.
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    I'm going to be terribly blunt, sorry. He is using you.

    He doesn't to spend time with you - Couple often don't want to see eachother ALL the time, but they do MOST of the time. From what i can gather he doesn't like to spend ANY time with you. The time he spends having sex with you, doesn't count.

    He doesn't want to be seen with you infront of other girls - This is absolutely wrong, the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is something to flaunt not be ashamed of.

    He likes to spend time ALONE with his exes getting DRUNK - I would bet a lot of money on him having cheated on you.

    He spends more quality time with another girl - He talks to her more, he appreciates her more. He tries harder with her. He doesn't even make that much of effort to try and hide it from you. He probably thinks if he got caught you'd forgive him, and by your worrying if your not trusting him enough, he's probably right.

    He is using you for sex. Reverse the situation in your head. Imagine yourself doing these things to him. Imagine yourself telling him he can't come out with you because you want to spend the night alone with your ex. Imagine yourself ignoring him so you can talk to other guys without them thinking your in a relationship (not even making an effort to hide it from him). How could he possibly love you if you did this? how could you love him in this imaginary situation when you imagine yourself doing this? You are nothing but a cumbucket to him. You have no evidence that this is a relationship apart from him saying he loves you, it's just noise, you are not in a relationship.

    Don't let the fear of being single, not being able to find someone else or what other people think get in the way. Get the **** out of there. He will come crawling back, he will do it again, do not take him back. You deserve better.
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    I wouldn't tolerate that, and neither should you.
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    Dump him. Delete from facebook/phone/life and move on. Happy eyes.

    Ps. Tell us how it goes!
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    IF YOU DO NOT AT LEAST ASK HIM WTF HE THINKS HE IS DOING I WILL TEAR MY ****ING BALLS OFF IN FRUSTRATIONNNNN!!!

    DO IT NOW. If you do not do it sooner than later, then you deserve to be with him. I can't believe you haven't said anything yet. GAHHHH.
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    (Original post by lechi.man01)
    Dont listen to them... ime sure he loves u.... they just jealous of the beauty u too share. keep it up you will be together for long. dont worry he will never cheat on u. things like that never happen of course :P
    You're an idiot.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete please.

    I'veeen with my boyfriend for 18 months, we've had a somewhat strange and stressful relationship.. He has a track history of going from girlfriend to girlfriend but before me, his longest relationship lasted 3 months. During our time together I've had to learn to shelve my insecurities as he's very popular with women and is extremely flirtacious. He often sees exes (for dinner/ nights out) but I'm OK with that (on the surface at least), because I have to try to trust him, otherwise our relationship is doomed.

    He's lied to me in the past about some quite important things, and he always seems to be pretty secretive. I've listed all the bad things but he does tell me all the time that he loves me, his friends tell me he adores me and things are great between us when we're alone. In front of girls though, he can be quite standoff-ish and a little rude towards me. It's very subtle though, naturally I pick up on his strange behaviour in certain social senarios. He's gone as far as to mock my degree in front of a group of his girlfriends before.

    Here's my point: There's one particular girl he pays a lot of attention to. They go on nights out and get drunk alone, and even on one occasion when I asked to come along (my friends had flaked out of our night), he flatly said no, even though there was a ticket going spare. She is ALWAYS on his facebook page, making jokes, being quite flirty, and he's flirty back. By contrast, he never responds to anything I write to him on Facebook at all anymore. I couldn't make a certain event last weekend so he went without me, lo and behold dozens of pictures go on facebook afterwards of him with this girl at said event, his arms around her and looking really happy.. They really did look like a couple. He brings her name up in conversation several times a day (again, unusual - alarm bells), and goes on about how cool she is because she's into motorbikes (as is he), how he wants to go on a motorbike trip around Europe with her, and they've been to the same places on holiday et cetera. I walked into his room whilst he was on facebook and in the 3 second glance I got before he closed it all down was at least 2 private messages from her.

    I'd say he's secretive with stuff like his phone but he's always been secretive with it..

    It all might come across as insecure but his behaviour really has changed. I've never even hinted that i'm worried about this, if I say anything at all, I want to do it with a clear and logical head.

    Any advice would be excellent, thanks. No childish replies though please.
    I'll give you some great advice

    Break up with him...

    Yeah thats it, he treats you like crap, holds hands with another girl and has his arm around here and hides messages from here when he is around you. Maybe you could let a couple of the things he does to you go (not the holding hands) but put all of them together and its not looking good. He clearly doesnt respect you if he mocks you in front of other people, get rid of him and find someone that doesn't treat you like crap

    Also haven't read the rest of the thread so if its been resolved ignore what i said
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    you're mature, he's not. He's still acting like the immature teenage boys who just like leading girls on so that their ego is stroked. They get some high off knowing that they have girls after them and disrespect them as a result because they dont appreciate what they've got.
    He's got you dear. he says jump, you say how high.
    its harsh but its true and i know lots of people have alrerady suggested it but please for god sake get rid of the guy. he's used to being the one who picks and chooses when he wants to be with a girl and he is just using so you need to show him that he cant just expect so much from you.
    You're letting him get away with a lot and he's not suffering any consequences. if you had a kid who did something naughty you'd have to tell them off right?? otherwise they get worse and worse and thats whats happening here.
    Please just get yourself out of this mess...relationships are meant to be enjoyable and your obviously hurting the best thing you can do is make a new start with your life, no good comes from letting people walk all over you.

    I hope i've helped you to see things a bit more clearly, honestly, the guy doesnt deserve you you know what you've got to do...
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    Christ OP, don't leave us hanging!
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    I think you've picked up on what the majority of people in this thread have been saying.

    Dump the sod. You're being taken for a ride. This is utterly unacceptable and unless you confront him about this behaviour you'll have no one else to blame but yourself when your heart is shattered.
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    As brutal as this sounds, he probably doesn't love and adore you - he's clearly just interested in bedding as many girls as possible.

    Save what's left of your dignity and leave him now!
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    Run now. Run while you can!!!!!http://cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/09201...travaganza.jpg
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    Leave him. It's not worth it if it's that bad, my gf liked some other guy but turned out he didn't like her like that, i still broke up with her when she told me on the day, but a few hours later she came back. It shows if someone is serious about it or not, and seems like he isn't.
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    Its good that your trying to trust him and he tells you he loves you but It sounds as if he's keeping you at a distance. Ive been in a similar situation where my ex would moch me in front of friends to the point where he said i was a push over to my best friend. Unfortunately i loved him so i kept telling myself hes nice to me when we are on our own... thats who he really is. Not the case. Me and him ended and at the time i was devastated but soooo happy now that i look back and see what i had to deal with. If hes willing to treat you like that he sounds like hes insecure about himself and dissing you to make him feel more superior and better about himself. You dont need this. Tell him straight that your tired of all the crap you have to put up with and that things have to change, otherwise your relationship will be over.

    Keep your chin up.
    Good luck
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    My friend is going through exactly this atm, and she won't listen to us when we tell her to dump him. I know it's hard when you're in a relationship to lose that security but when he realizes what he's lost, he'll come running back so please please please just dump him. It's very different looking at this from the outside in, and you'll only see how it really is once you come out of the relationship. Nobody should be treated like this by her boyfriend and letting him do this to you will damage your confidence for a long long time. I know you might say 'but we have some really good times when we're alone' but in this case, the bad things cancel out the good things.
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    (Original post by Harry.C)
    Why do an awful lot of girls seem to have absolutely no self-respect? Why are you still with him if he acts like this?

    My sister was with a guy who fits that mould, and he ended up cheating on her, and leaving her.

    Grow some balls.
    In some ways I agree with you. And from the outside, thats what I'd say as well.

    But I've been with a manipulative guy, and I was told soo many times to break up with him. You could say I had no self-respect, I guess. I think it was more that I was afraid of breaking up with him, that I didn't want to be alone, and I honestly believed that he cared about me, and that it WAS all my fault like he said.

    Maybe that does mean no self-respect, but I'd like to think thats its more about self-confidence and being a little bit too trusting.
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    Why are you even taking this crap....im sure you can find much better than him!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete please.

    I'veeen with my boyfriend for 18 months, we've had a somewhat strange and stressful relationship.. He has a track history of going from girlfriend to girlfriend but before me, his longest relationship lasted 3 months. During our time together I've had to learn to shelve my insecurities as he's very popular with women and is extremely flirtacious. He often sees exes (for dinner/ nights out) but I'm OK with that (on the surface at least), because I have to try to trust him, otherwise our relationship is doomed.

    He's lied to me in the past about some quite important things, and he always seems to be pretty secretive. I've listed all the bad things but he does tell me all the time that he loves me, his friends tell me he adores me and things are great between us when we're alone. In front of girls though, he can be quite standoff-ish and a little rude towards me. It's very subtle though, naturally I pick up on his strange behaviour in certain social senarios. He's gone as far as to mock my degree in front of a group of his girlfriends before.

    Here's my point: There's one particular girl he pays a lot of attention to. They go on nights out and get drunk alone, and even on one occasion when I asked to come along (my friends had flaked out of our night), he flatly said no, even though there was a ticket going spare. She is ALWAYS on his facebook page, making jokes, being quite flirty, and he's flirty back. By contrast, he never responds to anything I write to him on Facebook at all anymore. I couldn't make a certain event last weekend so he went without me, lo and behold dozens of pictures go on facebook afterwards of him with this girl at said event, his arms around her and looking really happy.. They really did look like a couple. He brings her name up in conversation several times a day (again, unusual - alarm bells), and goes on about how cool she is because she's into motorbikes (as is he), how he wants to go on a motorbike trip around Europe with her, and they've been to the same places on holiday et cetera. I walked into his room whilst he was on facebook and in the 3 second glance I got before he closed it all down was at least 2 private messages from her.

    I'd say he's secretive with stuff like his phone but he's always been secretive with it..

    It all might come across as insecure but his behaviour really has changed. I've never even hinted that i'm worried about this, if I say anything at all, I want to do it with a clear and logical head.

    Any advice would be excellent, thanks. No childish replies though please.
    Get rid.
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    (Original post by o Rebecca o)
    You're an idiot.
    im pretty sure that comment was tongue in cheek y'know
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    PS Helper
    I actually don't know why you've tolerated this and you're still with him. Get out now.
 
 
 
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