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How to overcome the fear of rejection? watch

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    Whenever I start to get feelings for a girl, and think about pursuing her, I completely freeze up and find it hard to talk to that person again. This usually leads to a depressive state for a few days. It's weird in that I feel as if I almost want to feel depressed, maybe because I have gotten used to that feeling over the course of studying A-levels. I have no problems talking to men, or girls I am not interested in. I've had this problem for atleast 2 years now, and I don't know how to overcome it.

    If anyone else has been through a similar pattern and knows how I can overcome this, please help.
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    to overcome the fear of something.. just man up and do it

    so basically get rejected. you'll realise it's not that bad, and well you may even end up not being rejected
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Whenever I start to get feelings for a girl, and think about pursuing her, I completely freeze up and find it hard to talk to that person again. This usually leads to a depressive state for a few days. It's weird in that I feel as if I almost want to feel depressed, maybe because I have gotten used to that feeling over the course of studying A-levels. I have no problems talking to men, or girls I am not interested in. I've had this problem for atleast 2 years now, and I don't know how to overcome it.

    If anyone else has been through a similar pattern and knows how I can overcome this, please help.
    Don't worry, every guy has this sort of stage fright when it comes to girls I myself did!
    Instead of wallowing in this depressive state, just grab your collar and do something about it. Talk to her, find out how she feels about you. If you feel like she's not interested, or if she plainly states that she isn't, just let go!
    If you feel like there's something there, try to get some more time with her; at a party, in the pub, in school, anything that you can think of.
    As long as you *do* something about it, you'll slowly overcome your problem and that depressive state will shorten in its duration, little by little.
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    How to overcome the fear of rejection? By getting rejected obvs.

    Rejection is just part of life I'm afraid.

    Just ask her out or you'll regret not manning up enough.
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    Fear of rejection...........reject the fear.
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    (Original post by didgeridoo12uk)
    to overcome the fear of something.. just man up and do it

    so basically get rejected. you'll realise it's not that bad, and well you may even end up not being rejected
    That's easier said than done. Especially when the person is a friend. I worry that if I tried something and it failed, I would loose that friendship group that the girl is part of, and I don't want that at all.

    In this particular case, the girl has been good friends with a guy I know for a long time. Her friends say she is not interested in him as more than that but im not so sure. And whenever I try to talk to her, or even walk beside her, he squeezes in to stop me. Im almost positive he likes her, and I don't know how to compete with him without being a **** to him, which I dont want to do.
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    Always, ALWAYS think of the worst case scenario. If you've been rejected before, this should be easy.

    Say you were able to move on after your initial rejection.. then think "What's a few more?" Remember, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. :P

    You'll eventually get immune. ;p

    Also, you can cope better with rejection if you don’t take things too seriously. Let’s take an example: You come up to a woman in a bar and ask her “How much?” If she slaps you, then you can say “I see, so you don’t want cash. How about dinner and a movie first?” But if she answers “Two hundred quid”, then you have a point of negotiation.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's easier said than done. Especially when the person is a friend. I worry that if I tried something and it failed, I would loose that friendship group that the girl is part of, and I don't want that at all.

    In this particular case, the girl has been good friends with a guy I know for a long time. Her friends say she is not interested in him as more than that but im not so sure. And whenever I try to talk to her, or even walk beside her, he squeezes in to stop me. Im almost positive he likes her, and I don't know how to compete with him without being a **** to him, which I dont want to do.
    from my experience trying something with a friend and getting rejected never really has much of an effect on the friendship as long as you accept the rejection and move on. it's a lot better than having what you have now.

    and who the hell cares if somebody else likes her. generally whoever makes the move first is the one who gets the girl. so stop worrying about him and just go for it
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    (Original post by didgeridoo12uk)
    from my experience trying something with a friend and getting rejected never really has much of an effect on the friendship as long as you accept the rejection and move on. it's a lot better than having what you have now.

    and who the hell cares if somebody else likes her. generally whoever makes the move first is the one who gets the girl. so stop worrying about him and just go for it
    I went by the text method, because I wanted to get rejected. And I was lol. Tbh It wasn't so bad. I think it's best that I move on now, and try other people. And you are right, it is better than what I had. Best I can actually chat to that someone again, and work on building up my confidence. Cheers for the advise everyone.
 
 
 
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