Kind of. I feel like I can't really complain about my mum because she hasn't done anything really awful to me, but she's not a very nice person and makes me feel terrible about myself. I know I could have a much, much worse mother but still.
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Do you feel defined/like you've been messed up by your parents? watch
- 18-03-2011 23:48
- 18-03-2011 23:51
my brothers have had a more negative impact on me however parents being parents-- i need to get outa here, the sooner the better.
- 19-03-2011 00:00
No, their parenting or mistakes might of affected me (heck every parent does that) but they could of done worse couldn't they?
- 19-03-2011 00:01
I'm not as enthusiastic about getting pissed every weekend like some people I know. Crap holidays involving drunken arguments between Mum and Dad and standing at the top of the stairs listening to them argue might have had something to do with that.
Nothing too serious though. They've done well in general.Last edited by Fandabidoze!; 19-03-2011 at 00:03.
- 19-03-2011 00:06
Kind of, but I'm sure it wasn't the intention of my parents. They just wanted the best for me, which just didn't work always...
- PS Reviewer
- 19-03-2011 00:09
I do feel they very unwittingly messed me up and I think they now realise that too, to an extent. I'm determined not to let that define me though
- 19-03-2011 00:11
They messed me up alright
- 19-03-2011 00:14
They can be boring.
I can be boring.
- 19-03-2011 00:17
Yes, my mum had me when I was 18, she's bipolar and she's been suicidal which when I was 8 had a pretty large amount of impact. It still does tbh.
However, although I've been through more then a lot of my peers there's always someone who has been through way worse things then me so I just need to accept the past, move on and be stronger from it. Easier said then done but if you can, focus on the positive things that you wouldn't have if it wasn't for your parents.
(Original post by *Dreaming*)
- 19-03-2011 00:21
Reminds me of Larkins poem....
They **** you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were ****ed up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.
OP: A bit, but I reckon I've got over anything too serious. Maybe if they didn't undermine each other I'd have been messed up... Or maybe I'm messed up because of it, who knows?
- 19-03-2011 00:27
They were pretty controlling so it was only when I came to uni that I realised just to what extent they had been smothering me, but hey, they're my parents
- 19-03-2011 00:41
I'm Asian, therefore I'm defined by my parents.
Not really, I'm nothing like my parents. I'm scared of my mum, sure, but she doesn't get a say in who I am now.
Events in childhood can obviously have a big impact on our adolescence and psychological problems can deprive from those. I used to feel like I had no choice in my life, but we all do, we are just too scared to make them.
- 19-03-2011 00:42
Mine have been pretty good and supportive, but for some reason or another I feel incredibly empty most of the time- maybe it's because I'm the youngest and was neglected for much of my life, or there's just something wrong with me
- 19-03-2011 00:42
I suppose a bit, yes, but I always remind myself that there are people far worse off than myself. My Dad has always been a good parent, but I find it different to get on with my Mum at times and I have had far more arguments with her than with my Dad.
- 19-03-2011 00:44
I love my mum.and we are close, but she has had problems (depression, alcoholism) which obviously have had a big effect on me and have been crap trying to live through. Also, I've felt like I've needed to shield my younger brother from the worst of it, so have felt really isolated.
She has ended up in hospital 4 times from falling and hitting her head while drunk The most recent time she wandered out of the hospital and disappeared, wouldn't answer her phone and when she did wouldn't tell me where she was, just kept lying, saying that she was on our street. I had to phone the police and get them to go find her. Thankfully she was ok when they eventually found her but I was scared out of my mind.
Now she's getting help though, going to AA meetings every day and seeing her GP and a counsellor. So looks like things are on the up.
My parents split up when I was 9. I don't get along with my father, he has been horrible to my mum including trying to use me and my bro against her. Left me with lots of insecurity etc and when younger was withdrawn and found it hard to make friends tho I'm fine with that now.
So, overall, yes, they've given me some issues, but the whole thing with my mum has made me stronger and more mature because our roles have been sort of reversed at times, and I also am able to keep things in proportion, so I don't get upset/angry over little things like so many people my age do.
So looking forward to uni and getting away tho!
- 19-03-2011 00:45
yeah in a way
- 19-03-2011 00:54
My parents gave me too much freedom, and being from a big family they didn't really focus on any single child. They never pushed me to do anything, academically or extra-curricular, which I've only just realised is actually a fairly bad thing to do (I'm getting really busy with these aspects now though!). They did keep us in a house and food etc. but that's just basic and should be done anyway if you plan a family. As they're getting older they're getting less interested in everything and have a very mundane existence and cba to do anything apart from go to work and drink and smoke way too much at night, it's killing them, but they're totally stubborn and won't ever change. In a way the initial slack upbringing might be the reason in the past 4 years I've developed a huge thirst for knowledge and joined loads of clubs, groups etc......to make up for it maybe. My kids will be in a totally different mould - very academic, and knowledgeable about the world but also great at sports...from day 1!
Ahh.... /TSR counselling
(Original post by IlexBlue)
- 19-03-2011 00:55
My dad has really messed me up, as far as self-worth, trust, confidence and relationship issues go.
On the other hand, my mum's definitely sanded off some of the potential damage and brought me up to be someone with a strong sense of fairness and empathy, and (I like to think) common sense. So it sort of balances itself out.
- 19-03-2011 01:06
Yes, Sometimes I feel like their beloved prisoner...
They take away my rights. Everything they say...Goes!!!
Plus I can always depend on them to list all my faults!
Man can they crush my self-esteem...
Yeah, my parents might mess me up a little...
but they are trying their best to keep me in check!!!
They fear I might turn out like my _______ if they don't...
Or so I'm told.
Spoiler:ShowI still love my parents no matter the circumstance.
I couldn't reach where I am without 'em!
- 19-03-2011 01:22