Often at the end of the day, I get this mentality where I look back and its like "ugh" at all of the annoying, embarrassing, stupid or mean/unkind things (particularly mean/unkind things tbh, I could handle stupid and embarassing) I have said or done and I end up feeling bad. Like sometimes.. really really bad.
I don't want to feel bad about myself like this all the time, so I thought I would start a campaign for change!
I have tried in the past to suppress the bad aspects of my personality but a) it failed, I just can't control myself and b) it made me unhappy;
so... instead I thought maybe I could "make up" for myself by doing nice things, making an effort to compliment others, be helpful, avoid being selfish etc etc.
So I've been doing that but then I thought.. if I kept some kind of record, for good things vs bad things on each day - it would help me to even out the ratio of good:bad, and maybe if I am under-estimating myself then it would help me to remember good things and proportionalise the bad?
Maybe? It's only keeping a diary strikes me as slightly pathological, given I instinctively can tell this would be something I would keep a secret for fear of being referred to some kind of mental health professional, and I'm also concerned it could backfire terribly revealing only too clearly how generally horrible I am and making me feel worse.
Has anyone tried this? Has it worked? Does it help to improve yourself as a person and how you feel? Good idea? Terrible idea?
And in case anyone out there was, don't worry about me too much TSR. I don't think I am depressed (I still enjoy activities and feel hopeful!) it's just this whole.. well I think I am genuinely pretty flawed, people have actually told me I'm really annoying etc etc. I just want to be a better happier person yeah?
/End partially for advice, probably partially honestly for attention rambling
Please keep anon or delete.
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Self-improvement diary? A good idea, a bad idea? watch
- Thread Starter
- 19-03-2011 02:27
- 19-03-2011 02:31
- 19-03-2011 02:33
**** that lol **** happens, just live your life, no regrets
- 19-03-2011 02:36
**** the haters above.
Everyone can improve so don;t feel bad and go for it.
Bear in mind, however, no one is perfect and you will never be perfect, even in your own mind.
- Thread Starter
- 19-03-2011 02:43
Still though curls, thankyou for you input, which is "care less" - man I wish I could but then I dread to think what I would be like. People would probably try to poison me... or themselves