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Is there a chance of me recovering from depresion or has it gone too far? (big read) Watch

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    A bit of a backstory, I am 27 and was hyper till I was 12, then bullied by kids(literally all my friends deserted me first day of high school as it was a social class based system then)

    Due to the horiffic bullying including an attack that broke my shoulder and even before that I was attacked for no reason and when I tried reporting it to teachers was told "stop being a grass" and/or that I must of provoked the other kids(down to the fact they were middle class and I was from a benefit claimant family)

    I left school with really really high grades for almost all my classes yet school still called me below average!(how can grade 1 and 100% in many exams be below average!)

    Anyway when I left home at 17 I was really timid and only upset/miserable about my lack of social skills as even if a beautiful girl tried chatting me up I just blushed ant tilted my shoulders to look downwards.

    I started getting out of my shell a bit at 20 and by 21 I was out clubbing most weekends and got my first girlfriend and started feeling good about myself(but the social skill thing was still there as I found it hard to speak to people but still talked a lot)

    Then at 22 a family member was murdered and its been downhill ever since.

    At 24 I got a flatmate who was depressed a lot and drunk a lot(as he lost his job and jobcentre refused him money) and also lived in a flat where there was large damp and got worse day by day.

    At 25 I started clearing my head and finally started uni but problem is, I was so left out as majority of students were 18-21 and quite a few times I was told "you are too old to hang about with us" or "to be in a student bar" so I had no real friends.

    I dropped out and went to a access course at another uni for a year and had the same problem but intensified since I moved to a place where my neighbour had parties 24 hours a day so I couldnt sleep and felt more depressed for that, had all my food stolen(imagine £50 for a months food and it getting stolen within 2 hours) and again being told I was too old to be enjoying myself(even got asked why at 26 why I wasnt settled down with a kid a few times!)

    So at 27 have taken a year out to clear my head but the damage is done but how can I get better? I am at the point where I can easily sleep 18 hours a day(though drag myself out of bed with 10-12 most nights) am 6 stone heavier than 5 years ago(and exaclty 6 stone overweight) Dont enjoy things to the point I wont leave the house for days as too groggy.

    Opinions on this?
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    This has gone way, way too far. 'Started Uni at 25' ... what the hell is this? You've spent the best part of your life hanging around with losers, thus became one too.

    If it were me; I'd get some money together, pack my bags, cut all existing(useless) ties, and just start a new life somewhere else. A new person, new social circle, meeting women, get a job, go to the gym, etc.

    B*tching on a student forum (you're 27 and you're not a student, which was your mistake when going to uni at 25 and being rejected as too old) is an absolute waste of time. You are a mess, and it's gone on far too long.

    Is there a chance? Of course. Will you change your life? I don't know.
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    Sorry to hear about this For some reason people make out that uni is completely different to school, anyone can hang out with anyone, but this really isn't the case unfortunately. Some people just don't grow up properly, and stay ignorant and immature their whole lives. What would you like to do as a career? Is there any way you could train for it without having to be around ignorant, immature *****?

    BTW don't listen to 'Physics Enemy' in terms that you're a mess and too old to do stuff, they just don't understand that not all people go through the set life plan that is expected by society.
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    (Original post by Physics Enemy)
    This has gone way, way too far. 'Started Uni at 25' ... what the hell is this? You've spent the best part of your life hanging around with losers, thus became one too.

    If it were me; I'd get some money together, pack my bags, cut all existing(useless) ties, and just start a new life somewhere else. A new person, new social circle, meeting women, get a job, go to the gym, etc.

    B*tching on a student forum (you're 27 and you're not a student, which was your mistake when going to uni at 25 and being rejected as too old) is an absolute waste of time. You are a mess, and it's gone on far too long.

    Is there a chance? Of course. Will you change your life? I don't know.
    I actually went to college from 16-19, then at 19 went to uni part time but it was too much too soon so slowed down and did a hnc at college from 21-22 then a NQ from 24-25(college was fine strangely its uni that people have a problem with me)

    so I have almost entirely been in education my entire life or working and am doing 1 module a week at uni at moment just to pass time and socialise(so I am still a student)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I actually went to college from 16-19
    A-Levels are 2 years usually

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    then at 19 went to uni part time but it was too much too soon so slowed down
    LOL. Part-Time Uni course too much? Unreal ...

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    and did a hnc at college from 21-22
    Sounds utterly directionless and pointless. You'd been playing that game for 4 years previous.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    then a NQ from 24-25(college was fine strangely its uni that people have a problem with me)
    Ditto as to the above, expect with a pointless 2 year gap in between as well, just more faffing about and time wasting.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    so I have almost entirely been in education my entire life or working and am doing 1 module a week at uni at moment just to pass time and socialise(so I am still a student)
    Ohh I can see that now. Just rotting away in education, faffing around and hopping from one pointless qualification to another, whilst you slowly deteriorate and become a 'loser'. At the age of 27, your new remedy is again to just pass time at uni doing 1 module (lol) in order to 'socialise' and still be a student.

    Sorry, but this is really pathetic, and you know it, else you wouldn't make a self-help thread on a student forum about it. Just sort yourself out and start from scratch. Your life currently, and before, has been rubbish. Just start from scratch.

    I wish you luck, it's a long road, but you can do it.
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    (Original post by pippa90)
    Sorry to hear about this For some reason people make out that uni is completely different to school, anyone can hang out with anyone, but this really isn't the case unfortunately. Some people just don't grow up properly, and stay ignorant and immature their whole lives. What would you like to do as a career? Is there any way you could train for it without having to be around ignorant, immature *****?
    To suggest the problem is with 'uni people' and not this person, is extremely naive and delusional. This guy has serious issues, from a young age, and needs to turn his life around, and sharpish. Blaming others for his own failure is just very pittiful, and quite frankly not manly at all. He doesn't need a cuddle, he needs a reality check and a kick up the backside. No more faffing around and wasting.

    (Original post by pippa90)
    BTW don't listen to 'Physics Enemy' in terms that you're a mess and too old to do stuff, they just don't understand that not all people go through the set life plan that is expected by society.
    He is a mess, he's posted his background on a student forum and acknowledges his state, hence asking for help about how to turn it around, and whether it's possible. No need to sugar coat it for him, he's in his late twenties and he's meant to be a man. Not a man-child. I'm a firm believer that it's never too late, and he can turn his life around. A kick up the arse and a fresh start is needed.

    OP, get some money together, move away, hit the gym, start a new life. Your current environment/state is just a dead end and is self-perpetuatingly negative.
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    (Original post by Physics Enemy)
    To suggest the problem is with 'uni people' and not this person, is extremely naive and delusional. This guy has serious issues, from a young age, and needs to turn his life around, and sharpish. Blaming others for his own failure is just very pittiful, and quite frankly not manly at all. He doesn't need a cuddle, he needs a reality check and a kick up the backside. No more faffing around and wasting.


    He is a mess, he's posted his background on a student forum and acknowledges his state, hence asking for help about how to turn it around, and whether it's possible. No need to sugar coat it for him, he's in his late twenties and he's meant to be a man. Not a man-child. I'm a firm believer that it's never too late, and he can turn his life around. A kick up the arse and a fresh start is needed.

    OP, get some money together, move away, hit the gym, start a new life. Your current environment/state is just a dead end and is self-perpetuatingly negative.
    Serious issues? He's not gone into much detail so you can barely make a comment like that. If he'd said something like 'I have sex with my cat' then yeah sure you can say that he has serious issues, but with things like education,no.

    I agree that he needs to stop faffing around and get on track however you don't even know the guy, no need to give him a massive lecture. You sound like you're some crazy life coach or something.

    He needs actual people in his life to help guide him, he has depression for God's sake.
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    (Original post by pippa90)
    Serious issues? He's not gone into much detail so you can barely make a comment like that. If he'd said something like 'I have sex with my cat' then yeah sure you can say that he has serious issues, but with things like education,no.

    I agree that he needs to stop faffing around and get on track however you don't even know the guy, no need to give him a massive lecture. You sound like you're some crazy life coach or something.

    He needs actual people in his life to help guide him, he has depression for God's sake.
    Did you actually bother to read his opening post? Hyper from a young age, bullied at school, broken shoulder, timid, upset/miserable, family member murdered and 'downhill ever since', poor choice of friends, 'depressed' and sleeping 18 hours ... do you not think these are serious issues? LOL.

    I'm not a self-help coach, and neither are you, I'm just giving him a kick up the backside. You're trying to give him a hug, and that won't change his situation, he'll just feel sorry for himself even more, as per his opening post.

    So far you haven't actually given him any constructive advice, you've given off more energy in attacking me because I tried to shake him up a bit. What do you actually propose?

    From what I gather, here are his weakpoints:

    - Physical state, as he mentioned. 6 stone overweight. Not good, for a myriad of reasons, also linking heavily to his mental state. Get in shape.

    - Social life. He needs to make decent, solid friends, and not hang around with fellow layabouts, depressives and bums. He also needs to make friends with people of a vageuly similar age, to not try and 'turn back the wheel'.

    - Career, or lack of. No qualifications of worth to speak of, despite faffing around and jumping from useless program to useless program. He's spent 10+ years in education, with seemingly nothing of worth to show for it. Perhaps not even A-Levels. Time to get a job I think and work his way up, no more joking.

    - Women / Sex / Relationships. Not worth discussing now really.

    My advice is to start from scratch, because I think it's best from personal experience. Clinging to deadwood and hovering in the same air of negativity is no good. He certainly has nothing to lose and everything to gain. You can continue to cuddle him if you wish, but so far 'uni people' (like us) haven't been kind to him. So let's not pretend to be nice fluffy people here. Lets be realistic instead.

    I won't pamper him over the internet. Offer constructive advice, or leave the thread. So far it's 'awwww' and 'people are immature' blaaah blaah, Blame game.
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    (Original post by Physics Enemy)
    A-Levels are 2 years usually


    LOL. Part-Time Uni course too much? Unreal ...


    Sounds utterly directionless and pointless. You'd been playing that game for 4 years previous.


    Ditto as to the above, expect with a pointless 2 year gap in between as well, just more faffing about and time wasting.


    Ohh I can see that now. Just rotting away in education, faffing around and hopping from one pointless qualification to another, whilst you slowly deteriorate and become a 'loser'. At the age of 27, your new remedy is again to just pass time at uni doing 1 module (lol) in order to 'socialise' and still be a student.

    Sorry, but this is really pathetic, and you know it, else you wouldn't make a self-help thread on a student forum about it. Just sort yourself out and start from scratch. Your life currently, and before, has been rubbish. Just start from scratch.

    I wish you luck, it's a long road, but you can do it.
    Your trolling doesnt bother me much, since I have worked before now and no matter what I have done with my life you will pick a reason anyway.

    Have you worked with the Prince's Trust before helping build an orphanage abroad? Have you been there for someone in times so desperate they think their lives are worthless and take on their problems yourself?

    The reason why I said too much too soon to uni at 19 was I had no time to have fun an be a youth, I was spending my days studying or at uni and wanted to enjoy life whilst I could.

    That has always been my feelings on life, why go to extremes like after graduating moving to a big city and getting a high paid job to have no free time and little time for a future family, or get a reasonable job and have time for myself and in the future others, I dont want a fast car, a house in the big city or anything I am too humble for anything.

    All I want is to enjoy life and feel a part of something.

    Have you ever spent long in the real worl or have you just left home and had a simple life till now?
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    (Original post by Physics Enemy)
    ...
    If I had rep left, you'd get a plus. people on TSR don't generally tell sad sacks to man up.


    OP, for god sake man up. *****ing and moaning isn't helping anyone. Go get help and do something with your life.
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    (Original post by Physics Enemy)
    Did you actually bother to read his opening post? Hyper from a young age, bullied at school, broken shoulder, timid, upset/miserable, family member murdered and 'downhill ever since', poor choice of friends, 'depressed' and sleeping 18 hours ... do you not think these are serious issues? LOL.

    I'm not a self-help coach, and neither are you, I'm just giving him a kick up the backside. You're trying to give him a hug, and that won't change his situation, he'll just feel sorry for himself even more, as per his opening post.

    So far you haven't actually given him any constructive advice, you've given off more energy in attacking me because I tried to shake him up a bit. What do you actually propose?

    From what I gather, here are his weakpoints:

    - Physical state, as he mentioned. 6 stone overweight. Not good, for a myriad of reasons, also linking heavily to his mental state. Get in shape.

    - Social life. He needs to make decent, solid friends, and not hang around with fellow layabouts, depressives and bums. He also needs to make friends with people of a vageuly similar age, to not try and 'turn back the wheel'.

    - Career, or lack of. No qualifications of worth to speak of, despite faffing around and jumping from useless program to useless program. He's spent 10+ years in education, with seemingly nothing of worth to show for it. Perhaps not even A-Levels. Time to get a job I think and work his way up, no more joking.

    - Women / Sex / Relationships. Not worth discussing now really.

    My advice is to start from scratch, because I think it's best from personal experience. Clinging to deadwood and hovering in the same air of negativity is no good. He certainly has nothing to lose and everything to gain. You can continue to cuddle him if you wish, but so far 'uni people' (like us) haven't been kind to him. So let's not pretend to be nice fluffy people here. Lets be realistic instead.

    I won't pamper him over the internet. Offer constructive advice, or leave the thread. So far it's 'awwww' and 'people are immature' blaaah blaah, Blame game.
    That isnt a "kick up the backside" its "you can never feel anything negative about yourself as it makes you weak" I am not weak I am probably whole leagues above you in emotional strength but you wouldnt have experienced what I have.

    You are just interpreting things in your own way, I dont want to say hang about with 18 year olds at uni or anything but I want to say go to a student bar for a drink and not be thought of as an outcast mostly because of my age, and because I am not a party animal.

    I want to speak to a random person and them hold a conversation without thinking because of things like age I would have different interests and if we have shared interests talking about them.

    All you are doing is as a variation of as you say "shaking things up", you want a reaction from me and will say anything you want even if irrelevant and hide it under the idea of "advice" no matter what I would say you will pick at it.

    I mean mentioning to get in shape if I am fat isnt advice its just a statement.
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    (Original post by Dream Weaver)
    If I had rep left, you'd get a plus. people on TSR don't generally tell sad sacks to man up.


    OP, for god sake man up. *****ing and moaning isn't helping anyone. Go get help and do something with your life.
    What are you like 12? Because I am not """"""" over everyone in my life I am not a man? how does that work?

    This is the sad state of the world today, anyone that doesnt fit into someones opinon of normal is the person with the problem and not themselves.

    And FYI almost everyone who talks about "manning up" are teenagers who think being a man is about being "better" than others by having something to boast about, i.e sleeping with more women, beating someone in an argument and basically anything that makes them look superior to others.

    Maybe some people arent as petty as others.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ...

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That isnt a "kick up the backside" its "you can never feel anything negative about yourself as it makes you weak" I am not weak I am probably whole leagues above you in emotional strength but you wouldnt have experienced what I have.
    1. He didn't say that, you did.
    2. You don't know what he's been through either.
    3. He's not *****ing about emotional problems on a student forum.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You are just interpreting things in your own way
    As opposed to what you did in the previous paragraph?

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    All you are doing is as a variation of as you say "shaking things up", you want a reaction from me and will say anything you want even if irrelevant and hide it under the idea of "advice" no matter what I would say you will pick at it.
    Just because you don't like what he's saying doesn't mean he's trying to piss you off. Actually a lot of it is meant to be helpful, and should be.

    There are a number of charities that provide free and excellent counselling. Go to them. That guy, while 'attacking' you was actually giving you what you needed. A smack to reality. If you really are 27 then you seriously need to grow up.
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    (Original post by Physics Enemy)
    A-Levels are 2 years usually


    LOL. Part-Time Uni course too much? Unreal ...


    Sounds utterly directionless and pointless. You'd been playing that game for 4 years previous.


    Ditto as to the above, expect with a pointless 2 year gap in between as well, just more faffing about and time wasting.


    Ohh I can see that now. Just rotting away in education, faffing around and hopping from one pointless qualification to another, whilst you slowly deteriorate and become a 'loser'. At the age of 27, your new remedy is again to just pass time at uni doing 1 module (lol) in order to 'socialise' and still be a student.

    Sorry, but this is really pathetic, and you know it, else you wouldn't make a self-help thread on a student forum about it. Just sort yourself out and start from scratch. Your life currently, and before, has been rubbish. Just start from scratch.

    I wish you luck, it's a long road, but you can do it.
    So the ****ing what?

    Not everyone does their A Levels (if they even do A Levels) in 2 years and goes straight to uni at 18.

    Who are you to judge?

    Not everyone knows what they want to do in their teens.

    Not everyone has straightforward life experiences.

    One of my good friends is 27, didn't do well at school, didn't really know what he wanted to do, worked as a driving instructor, did a biology degree and is now off to do medicine at Oxford.

    Don't be so narrow minded
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    I hate to be a ***** but I agree with Physics Enemy. You have to stop pussy-footying around with life, it's short. Start from scratch, leave every element of the past behind you, you may have to travel abroad to experience 'this whole new lease of life'. Stop dwelling in the past or you could quite easily be in this same situation in the next 10 years. I'm sorry but an excuse to drop out of university because of the age difference isn't good enough; not matter which way you want to look at it, university is primarily there to build yourself a better future, a social life, well especially in your situation, shouldn't be on the top of your agenda.

    Study to build a strong academia, you don't necessarily have to mix with 'uni people'. I know many people who didn't start university until they were in their late 30s/early 40s and still managed to be a success (one of which is my mother).

    You're still young, there's still time to start building yourself a better future so long as you don't procrastinate. Set aims, fast, where do you see yourself in the next 15 years and start achieving those aims/goals now (go to university if your goals require you to). Don't hesitate.

    I wish you all the best.
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    Please don't listen to Physics Enemy, he sounds like an awful person. I have depression too so I do understand it is hard, and I have taken a year out of education too, though I am younger than you (21). The best thing you can do is to have a plan to get you out of this mess. Also, exercise regularly (you will get fitter and feel better about yourself - even if you can't afford the gym, going for a run is free).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ...
    The 'man up' thing may be like that in other contexts, but not in this one. It means stop being a child and get your life together.

    And no, I'm not twelve. I've been through a lot and had serious problems in the past. The difference between us is I stuck to my goals, worked for whatever I needed and now I'm actually happy.

    Not once did I devolve into childishness during this either, unlike you did.
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    (Original post by Dream Weaver)
    1. He didn't say that, you did.
    2. You don't know what he's been through either.
    3. He's not *****ing about emotional problems on a student forum.



    As opposed to what you did in the previous paragraph?



    Just because you don't like what he's saying doesn't mean he's trying to piss you off. Actually a lot of it is meant to be helpful, and should be.

    There are a number of charities that provide free and excellent counselling. Go to them. That guy, while 'attacking' you was actually giving you what you needed. A smack to reality. If you really are 27 then you seriously need to grow up.
    In what way, if I am "*****ing" then id rather be that than be closed minded. like you who either cant tell the difference between opinion and advice or just wants a reason to complain so who now is immature?

    The bit about me needing to grow up? Again what planet do you love on? Someone can say what they want but if I "dont like it" then theres something wrong with me?

    Wow I am 27 and my life isnt perfect, I must be soooo immature. Arent you just proving what I said earlier? that people assume that as I am a certain age then I am only allowed to think and act a certain way?!

    Did you ever stop and think why I would post on a student forum?
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    (Original post by dixie121989)
    Please don't listen to Physics Enemy, he sounds like an awful person.exercise regularly (you will get fitter and feel better about yourself - even if you can't afford the gym, going for a run is free).
    Agree!

    Exercise will make you feel better, produces endorphins that make you feel happier. Many people say it can help depression. Also, you'll feel better about yourself, be fitter and lose weight. I've heard people say that exercise prevents them from feeling depressed/down.

    See you GP? Can you get counselling or meds?

    OP - nothing is impossible if you really want it and really put your mind to it. If you really want change, you can make it happen.

    What do you want to do?
    What do you need to do to do it?
    What is your plan of action?
    What is your plan for the next year, few years etc?

    Also - academic success isn't the only type of success!
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    (Original post by T-Toe)
    i agree with Physics Enemy. DISAGREE


    You have to stop pussy-footying around with life, it's short. Start from scratch, leave every element of the past behind you, you may have to travel abroad to experience 'this whole new lease of life'. Stop dwelling in the past or you could quite easily be in this same situation in the next 10 years. Agree

    you don't necessarily have to mix with 'uni people'. agree. Don't focus on other people, focus on your own goals

    You're still young, there's still time to start building yourself a better future so long as you don't procrastinate. Set aims, fast, where do you see yourself in the next 15 years and start achieving those aims/goals now (go to university if your goals require you to). Don't hesitate. agree

    I wish you all the best.
    Generally agree
 
 
 
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