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Is there a chance of me recovering from depresion or has it gone too far? (big read) watch

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    (Original post by T-Toe)
    I hate to a ***** but I agree with Physics Enemy. You have to stop pussy-footying around with life, it's short. Start from scratch, leave every element of the past behind you, you may have to travel abroad to experience 'this whole new lease of life'. Stop dwelling in the past or you could quite easily be in this same situation in the next 10 years. I'm sorry but an excuse to drop out of university because of the age difference isn't good enough; not matter which way you want to look at it, university is primarily there to build yourself a better future, a social life, well especially in your situation, shouldn't be on the top of your agenda.

    Study to build a strong academia, you don't necessarily have to mix with 'uni people'. I know many people who didn't start university until they were in their late 30s/early 40s and still managed to be a success (one of which is my mother).

    You're still young, there's still time to start building yourself a better future so long as you don't procrastinate. Set aims, fast, where do you see yourself in the next 15 years and start achieving those aims/goals now (go to university if your goals require you to). Don't hesitate.

    I wish you all the best.
    Thats the most logical response so far, the problem here is because I mostly listed the bad things(hey thats what the thread is about) people are looking at the negative points of me which is an unfair comparison.

    When I say I left uni due to the age thing it was because I needed just a little bit of support and when people treat you bad then it makes things unenjoyable, I mean I never said I did bad at university its all down to morale.

    I mean on my first seminar for one of the courses we were asked to pick a subject to do our presentation on and there could be no more than 3 people to a group, When the lecturer said "who wants to do this one" me and 1 other person said they would do it, but as soon as the other person realised it would be with me, 2 minutes later it was "oh I have changed my mind" so lecturer asked if anyone else wanted to work with me and everyone was quiet, I didnt even get a "pity" partner, in fact even the next week when a new person joined and I was only person on own and many had 3 people in group everyone wanted this person and not me!

    Anyway the thing is even when I wasnt depressed people made assumptions about me, I have always been a quiet person so people assume I am a bore before they even chat to me, literally everyone who gets to know me even after a few minutes likes me and EVERY ONE has said "oh we didnt think someone like you was interested in X thing" this would be drinking, going to play football, going to cinema, they admit they assume that they thought I would spend all time in room alone.

    What I dont understand is the belief that I am not trying to improve myself, its harder for me to do basic tasks so I put far more effort than most people do to do something different and improve themselves just to do the basic things, people find that hard to understand.

    I am not spending every moment of my life a slob, I may of said I sleep a lot and dont leave the house for days but that doesnt mean with my actual time I dont do a huge amount of things, its just I am lethargic.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    In what way, if I am "*****ing" then id rather be that than be closed minded. like you who either cant tell the difference between opinion and advice or just wants a reason to complain so who now is immature?
    You're *****ing because you feel left out. If you didn't know that then maybe you should read your first post. You seem to have forgotten about that. And you are still the immature one. Reading your posts sounds like a child. Seriously.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The bit about me needing to grow up? Again what planet do you love on? Someone can say what they want but if I "dont like it" then theres something wrong with me?
    You clearly have absolutely no grasp on what I've said at all. If you did, then you'd know that saying this makes you sound like an idiot. I didn't say any of that, but it's not that surprising that you'd jump to that, despite not even reading my post.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Wow I am 27 and my life isnt perfect, I must be soooo immature. Arent you just proving what I said earlier? that people assume that as I am a certain age then I am only allowed to think and act a certain way?!
    1. No, that's not even close to what I said.
    2. You are immature. Re-read your own posts and you might realise that.
    3. Your age has nothing to do with it. Being completely immature surprisingly does however.
    4. I'm not saying 'think and act a certain way'. Once again you are putting words in my mouth.

    Some people might feel sorry for you; I don't. I, like many people in the world, have been through worse than you but have managed to get through it and succeed in whatever we want to do. You obviously haven't or you wouldn't have posted any of that.
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    (Original post by No Future)
    Agree!

    Exercise will make you feel better, produces endorphins that make you feel happier. Many people say it can help depression. Also, you'll feel better about yourself, be fitter and lose weight. I've heard people say that exercise prevents them from feeling depressed/down.

    See you GP? Can you get counselling or meds?

    OP - nothing is impossible if you really want it and really put your mind to it. If you really want change, you can make it happen.

    What do you want to do?
    What do you need to do to do it?
    What is your plan of action?
    What is your plan for the next year, few years etc?

    Also - academic success isn't the only type of success!
    I actually just got a NHS voucher for local council gym so excited over that, I do own a exercise bike(but its very rusted) and a walking machine that I use sometimes.

    I have tried to get counselling a few times over last years and due to cutbacks due to recession they dont give out meds easy and waiting list is so long its a year if you are lucky to see someone and they only give you 4 appointments over 12 months!

    I think(or know) I am a strong person thats why I havent cracked, who else could handle what I have without a breakdown before now or at least being similar level to what I am.

    The whole reason I took a year out of uni was to clear my head so I didnt have the stress of something in my life and in some ways its working, its just at same time I think that I have wasted a year when I could have done something, and the weight makes me feel like I cant face the world as its judgemental, as when I was thin even when depressed a walk would clear my head, but now even on bus today back from supermarket some teenagers were saying cruel things in front of my face about my weight yet they were stuffing their faces with pizzas and kebabs!(I rarely eat takeaway just have a bad diet)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I actually just got a NHS voucher for local council gym so excited over that, awesome, go for it!

    I have tried to get counselling a few times over last years and due to cutbacks due to recession they dont give out meds easy sorry, but I don't think this is true. Meds are cheap compared to therapy and it shouldn't be hard to get meds if they're appropriate

    and waiting list is so long its a year if you are lucky to see someone and they only give you 4 appointments over 12 months! yep

    I think(or know) I am a strong person thats why I havent cracked, who else could handle what I have without a breakdown before now or at least being similar level to what I am.

    The whole reason I took a year out of uni was to clear my head so I didnt have the stress of something in my life and in some ways its working, its just at same time I think that I have wasted a year when I could have done something, and the weight makes me feel like I cant face the world as its judgemental, as when I was thin even when depressed a walk would clear my head, but now even on bus today back from supermarket some teenagers were saying cruel things in front of my face about my weight yet they were stuffing their faces with pizzas and kebabs!(I rarely eat takeaway just have a bad diet)
    sounds like you might want to sort out your diet too?

    again, **** other people. it's your life and it's what you make of it
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    (Original post by Dream Weaver)
    You're *****ing because you feel left out. If you didn't know that then maybe you should read your first post. You seem to have forgotten about that. And you are still the immature one. Reading your posts sounds like a child. Seriously.



    You clearly have absolutely no grasp on what I've said at all. If you did, then you'd know that saying this makes you sound like an idiot. I didn't say any of that, but it's not that surprising that you'd jump to that, despite not even reading my post.



    1. No, that's not even close to what I said.
    2. You are immature. Re-read your own posts and you might realise that.
    3. Your age has nothing to do with it. Being completely immature surprisingly does however.
    4. I'm not saying 'think and act a certain way'. Once again you are putting words in my mouth.

    Some people might feel sorry for you; I don't. I, like many people in the world, have been through worse than you but have managed to get through it and succeed in whatever we want to do. You obviously haven't or you wouldn't have posted any of that.
    Just proves how ignorant you are really, "oh people have it worse then you so you cant complain"

    Yeah so what, I am not saying they dont but the way you seem to treat it is that since it can be worse and it isnt, then I am not allowed to be upset, and thats what I am, upset not *****ING.

    You just want an argument since like I have said before, you are picking the easiest way to cause an argument, if you didnt care what I said then you wouldnt be posting, instead you have to mention I am immature and *****ing etc.

    Well if I am *****ing and immature, then you are no different in fact I would say you are far worse since you are picking a fight as you can tell I am an easy subject.

    I am only even replying to you as I hate leaving conversations part way.

    Your post just proves whyy I feel I cant win things, because unless I act the way you want me to act, then I am one with the problem therefore I have to be careful what I say which creates a vicious circle.
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    (Original post by No Future)
    Generally agree
    Your username is rather ironic to this thread
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    (Original post by T-Toe)
    Your username is rather ironic to this thread
    Ha ha, chosen when I was an angsty teenager
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    (Original post by No Future)
    sounds like you might want to sort out your diet too?

    again, **** other people. it's your life and it's what you make of it
    Well you can get herbal remedies but the problem with self medication is theres no way to know exactly what suits me or anyone.

    Diet is a biggie, I am more a eat till I am full sort of person rather than stuffing my face with whatever I can find, i.e I might not get hungry till late evening so starve all day then eat something like a chicken breast, and 2 hot cross buns with it then maybe a packet of noodles later when I am hungry.

    Not excatly pigging out but all bad for me, sometimes pushing it I may have double that amound, or go to a cafe and get a macaroni pie, with a can of coke and a empire biscuit for lunch, and ina fternoon may eat 3 or 4 biscuits.

    I have no real set diet here btw just eat what I feel like when I feel like so can eat next to nothing for days then a "lot" in one day

    Its strange what I mean about other people, I can handle be self concious but not depressed i.e before I was depressed I got a little upset if some one called me fat and/or ugly but shrugged it off within a minute or two, now it gets to me far more but it makes me angry at person too as it feels like I have something to prove.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just proves how ignorant you are really, "oh people have it worse then you so you cant complain"
    I didn't say you shouldn't complain, I said do something about it. Several times. Shockingly, you missed that part.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah so what, I am not saying they dont but the way you seem to treat it is that since it can be worse and it isnt, then I am not allowed to be upset, and thats what I am, upset not *****ING.
    You can be upset but you are *****ing. There's no doubt about that in any way. Don't even try to deny it.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You just want an argument since like I have said before, you are picking the easiest way to cause an argument, if you didnt care what I said then you wouldnt be posting, instead you have to mention I am immature and *****ing etc.
    No, I don't just want an argument. I posted in support of that other guy. You took it personally. Then continued. That's why I'm posting. You've attacked me as well so don't act like you haven't. If you don't agree with this then by all means go back and read what you've said.


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well if I am *****ing and immature, then you are no different in fact I would say you are far worse since you are picking a fight as you can tell I am an easy subject.
    I didn't pick a fight, I told you to get help. Yes I did do it harshly. Yes you did take too much offense to it. So what? Sometimes people do need a kick up the arse. You definately do.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Your post just proves whyy I feel I cant win things, because unless I act the way you want me to act, then I am one with the problem therefore I have to be careful what I say which creates a vicious circle.
    For the THIRD time: I'm not saying that. I haven't said that. You have. I don't know why, but you mention that in every post back to me, despite me not saying that at all. What is wrong with you?

    Go get help.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thats the most logical response so far, the problem here is because I mostly listed the bad things(hey thats what the thread is about) people are looking at the negative points of me which is an unfair comparison.

    When I say I left uni due to the age thing it was because I needed just a little bit of support and when people treat you bad then it makes things unenjoyable, I mean I never said I did bad at university its all down to morale.

    I mean on my first seminar for one of the courses we were asked to pick a subject to do our presentation on and there could be no more than 3 people to a group, When the lecturer said "who wants to do this one" me and 1 other person said they would do it, but as soon as the other person realised it would be with me, 2 minutes later it was "oh I have changed my mind" so lecturer asked if anyone else wanted to work with me and everyone was quiet, I didnt even get a "pity" partner, in fact even the next week when a new person joined and I was only person on own and many had 3 people in group everyone wanted this person and not me!

    Anyway the thing is even when I wasnt depressed people made assumptions about me, I have always been a quiet person so people assume I am a bore before they even chat to me, literally everyone who gets to know me even after a few minutes likes me and EVERY ONE has said "oh we didnt think someone like you was interested in X thing" this would be drinking, going to play football, going to cinema, they admit they assume that they thought I would spend all time in room alone.

    What I dont understand is the belief that I am not trying to improve myself, its harder for me to do basic tasks so I put far more effort than most people do to do something different and improve themselves just to do the basic things, people find that hard to understand.

    I am not spending every moment of my life a slob, I may of said I sleep a lot and dont leave the house for days but that doesnt mean with my actual time I dont do a huge amount of things, its just I am lethargic.
    Ah I see, I only went by the information you gave me. I understand how you feel and I throughly sympathise with you as I know you've been through a lot in your life, but take every life experience as a lesson. Everything you've been through will have positive conclusion (trust me) whether that be a building thicker skin or gaining more self confidence. Like I said you can't dwell in the past, you live and you learn. At least you know that if you have to face a similar situation like this again one day, you'll know how to handle it better.

    You seem like a lovely guy who perhaps just needs to get out of his comfort zone to get 'more recognised'. I see it as this, instead of waiting for people to talk to you, you talk to them. That way, you'll make more like-minded friends and perhaps find a girl.

    So to conclude, just take my advice: Start a new life, set aims and hit them
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    (Original post by Physics Enemy)
    Did you actually bother to read his opening post? Hyper from a young age, bullied at school, broken shoulder, timid, upset/miserable, family member murdered and 'downhill ever since', poor choice of friends, 'depressed' and sleeping 18 hours ... do you not think these are serious issues? LOL.

    I'm not a self-help coach, and neither are you, I'm just giving him a kick up the backside. You're trying to give him a hug, and that won't change his situation, he'll just feel sorry for himself even more, as per his opening post.

    So far you haven't actually given him any constructive advice, you've given off more energy in attacking me because I tried to shake him up a bit. What do you actually propose?

    From what I gather, here are his weakpoints:

    - Physical state, as he mentioned. 6 stone overweight. Not good, for a myriad of reasons, also linking heavily to his mental state. Get in shape.

    - Social life. He needs to make decent, solid friends, and not hang around with fellow layabouts, depressives and bums. He also needs to make friends with people of a vageuly similar age, to not try and 'turn back the wheel'.

    - Career, or lack of. No qualifications of worth to speak of, despite faffing around and jumping from useless program to useless program. He's spent 10+ years in education, with seemingly nothing of worth to show for it. Perhaps not even A-Levels. Time to get a job I think and work his way up, no more joking.

    - Women / Sex / Relationships. Not worth discussing now really.

    My advice is to start from scratch, because I think it's best from personal experience. Clinging to deadwood and hovering in the same air of negativity is no good. He certainly has nothing to lose and everything to gain. You can continue to cuddle him if you wish, but so far 'uni people' (like us) haven't been kind to him. So let's not pretend to be nice fluffy people here. Lets be realistic instead.

    I won't pamper him over the internet. Offer constructive advice, or leave the thread. So far it's 'awwww' and 'people are immature' blaaah blaah, Blame game.
    Yes I did.

    I can tick a few things on that list but I wouldn't say that I have 'serious issues'. They are issues yes, and they are serious, but when you brand someone to have 'serious issues' as a term it is a really negative and rather offensive term.

    You understand NOTHING about depression, telling someone to man up and telling them their ****ing weakpoints in such a light-hearted manner is only going to make matters worse. He isn't 'hovering in the same air of negativity' he's being pulled in by it. Depression is a disease, it controls the way you think. He can't just go off and do something amazing, he needs help first! Depression can leave you with little to no motivation to do anything like he mentions in his OP. Having someone like you having a go at him isn't going to bring it back, it just doesn't work like that. People are so ignorant about depression, it really pisses me off because it makes us feel even more ****ing alone and less likely to get better.
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    Agreed :I think the bold part... Couldn't have put it better myself, however I know when you're incredibly low it's hard to feel like you can turn everything around. It doesn't sound like much of it's your fault at all - you just need to try and pick up the pieces from where everything messed up... There is definitely hope 27 is not old!!
    (Original post by No Future)
    Agree!

    Exercise will make you feel better, produces endorphins that make you feel happier. Many people say it can help depression. Also, you'll feel better about yourself, be fitter and lose weight. I've heard people say that exercise prevents them from feeling depressed/down.

    See you GP? Can you get counselling or meds?

    OP - nothing is impossible if you really want it and really put your mind to it. If you really want change, you can make it happen.

    What do you want to do?
    What do you need to do to do it?
    What is your plan of action?
    What is your plan for the next year, few years etc?

    Also - academic success isn't the only type of success!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well you can get herbal remedies but the problem with self medication is theres no way to know exactly what suits me or anyone.
    Diet is a biggie, I am more a eat till I am full sort of person rather than stuffing my face with whatever I can find, i.e I might not get hungry till late evening so starve all day then eat something like a chicken breast, and 2 hot cross buns with it then maybe a packet of noodles later when I am hungry.
    Not excatly pigging out but all bad for me, sometimes pushing it I may have double that amound, or go to a cafe and get a macaroni pie, with a can of coke and a empire biscuit for lunch, and ina fternoon may eat 3 or 4 biscuits.
    I have no real set diet here btw just eat what I feel like when I feel like so can eat next to nothing for days then a "lot" in one day
    Its strange what I mean about other people, I can handle be self concious but not depressed i.e before I was depressed I got a little upset if some one called me fat and/or ugly but shrugged it off within a minute or two, now it gets to me far more but it makes me angry at person too as it feels like I have something to prove.

    Find a diet that works for you, and stick to it, eating randomly whenever whatever isn't going to help you in weight loss buddy
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    (Original post by pippa90)
    Yes I did.

    I can tick a few things on that list but I wouldn't say that I have 'serious issues'. They are issues yes, and they are serious, but when you brand someone to have 'serious issues' as a term it is a really negative and rather offensive term.

    You understand NOTHING about depression, telling someone to man up and telling them their ****ing weakpoints in such a light-hearted manner is only going to make matters worse. He isn't 'hovering in the same air of negativity' he's being pulled in by it. Depression is a disease, it controls the way you think. He can't just go off and do something amazing, he needs help first! Depression can leave you with little to no motivation to do anything like he mentions in his OP. Having someone like you having a go at him isn't going to bring it back, it just doesn't work like that. People are so ignorant about depression, it really pisses me off because it makes us feel even more ****ing alone and less likely to get better.
    I'm sorry but I didn't entirely agree on what you said from this point. You don't know if he's actually diagnosed with depression or if he's just going through a rough patch. There's a HUGE difference. You can't just assume.
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    (Original post by Physics Enemy)
    A-Levels are 2 years usually


    LOL. Part-Time Uni course too much? Unreal ...


    Sounds utterly directionless and pointless. You'd been playing that game for 4 years previous.


    Ditto as to the above, expect with a pointless 2 year gap in between as well, just more faffing about and time wasting.


    Ohh I can see that now. Just rotting away in education, faffing around and hopping from one pointless qualification to another, whilst you slowly deteriorate and become a 'loser'. At the age of 27, your new remedy is again to just pass time at uni doing 1 module (lol) in order to 'socialise' and still be a student.

    Sorry, but this is really pathetic, and you know it, else you wouldn't make a self-help thread on a student forum about it. Just sort yourself out and start from scratch. Your life currently, and before, has been rubbish. Just start from scratch.

    I wish you luck, it's a long road, but you can do it.
    you might not agree with what hes saying, but theres no need to be such a prick...
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    (Original post by T-Toe)
    I'm sorry but I didn't entirely agree on what you said from this point. You don't know if he's actually diagnosed with depression or if he's just going through a rough patch. There's a HUGE difference. You can't just assume.
    Well he says that he has it, so I believed him. If he doesn't have it then ignore my angry post
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    The OP is pathetic, he'd rather just blame uni people and society for his own failings, rather than getting off his arse and changing his life. He's weak and immature; making a desperate self-help thread at 27 is testament to that.

    He then fights back when he can't hack the straight-up reality check he's given (by the guys in the thread), and says how he's worked, done ok etc, totally contradicting the sorry state he portrayed in his opening post. If you've done so well in life then why make a cry-baby thread? You're 27, you might as well be 12.

    No qualifications, no life, depression, no women, no friends, no job Go get a life. The TSR girls can cuddle you and wallow in your 'blame game', but they won't change your life nor improve it. You'll most likely be exactly the same at age 30, like age 24.

    Bye!
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    It is never too late. You just really need to sort your life out now, instead of making a few half-arsed attempts. I understand you haven't had the best time but you need to put everything that has happened behind you and move on. You can't have things that happened when you were 12 dictating the rest of your life. However the change has to come from you and only you will be able to make a difference. Stop making excuses, ignore everyone else and get on with it. Good luck
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    (Original post by Physics Enemy)
    The OP is pathetic, he'd rather just blame uni people and society for his own failings, rather than getting off his arse and changing his life. He's weak and immature; making a desperate self-help thread at 27 is testament to that.

    He then fights back when he can't hack the straight-up reality check he's given (by the guys in the thread), and says how he's worked, done ok etc, totally contradicting the sorry state he portrayed in his opening post. If you've done so well in life then why make a cry-baby thread? You're 27, you might as well be 12.

    No qualifications, no life, depression, no women, no friends, no job Go get a life. The TSR girls can cuddle you and wallow in your 'blame game', but they won't change your life nor improve it. You'll most likely be exactly the same at age 30, like age 24.

    Bye!
    Go on, dig yourself deeper its very boring.

    You assume I blame society for my problems when that is only at most partly true.

    I "blame" the bullies for destroying my confidence, I "blame" the school for treating me inferior(and why shouldnt I?) and I "blame" society for every time I make an effort getting pushed down.

    You prove more and more that you just want to find something to attack, you attack what I dont say, you attack what I do say in an attempt to act as if you are giving "advice"

    Why do you even bother trolling this thread?

    Btw I have "friends" just not many and they are only around in certain ways like if we are up town at same time we walk around, so we dont socialise together or see each other often.

    When I want friends I want someone I can have a basic conversation with, even if its joking about who we fancy, or that we are bored, then maybe go up town for a hour or two and if we feel like it go for a drink.

    I estimate you wont get far in life, or maybe you will as you have the sort of attitude of standing over people and acting better to make yourself feel better.
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    Why are you depressed?
 
 
 
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