My advert would last about two A4 pages.
Something like: Wanted- Funny, intelligent guy with no emotional baggage, good shoes, who can make interesting conversation, make me laugh, with a good haircut and similar taste in music, who doesn't agree with everything I say but isn't a tory or a communist (although the latter would be perferable), drives a nice car, maybe a mini, doesn't have a psycho ex-girlfriend, an inferiority complex, any strange fetishes or blonde hair. Must have nice eyes and be a good kisser. Must like going out, getting plastered, and not be embarassed when I do the same. Will treat me as an equal but at the same time open doors for me and help me put my coat on. Will not groan when I talk about fashion, music or the O.C but instead smile beatifically and tolerantly and direct the conversation elsewhere. Must know how to make a good mojito. Must be spontaneous and romantic, with at least one other euopean language. Knowledge of politics, literature and celebrity gossip preferred, as well as decent fashion sense but must not take longer in the bathroom with me.
Think he exists? Nu-huh. All boys are frogs, become a nun.