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    • #2
    #2

    Thanks for sharing this OP- it's an incredible story and well done for pulling through, that's brilliant
    I'm going through a cancer scare at the moment and it's quite scary so reading this has really helped.
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    I originally wrote it as an outlet almost 5 years ago. It was used by a newspaper and i know for a fact that it helped people through that.

    TC is a cancer that is very common in young people so i decided to post the story up on here to try and raise awareness and also just get the message across that battles against cancer are won.

    Annoymous poster Just stay positive is the best advice i can give. If i can help in any way just let me know.
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    Yes i did hve a lump down there. Best thing all guys should do is a self examination every month. Best time to do it is in the shower - I won't go into all the details on here but plenty of info is on the net regarding doing a self examination.
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    now 6 years in remission
    • #3
    #3

    I've just read this and honestly cried for 10 minutes. It made me remember my treatment. I spent a lot of time at different hospitals as a youth, primarily because of broken bones. At the age of 8, a car slammed into me and sent me flying, breaking my tigh bone in two. But even worse, the "friend" accompanying me just ran home. As I got out of hospital into "real life" my parents realized I had become a nervous wreck, eventually I started psychological therapies.
    And then I supposedely catched a Bronchitis, eight weeks later it turned out to be actually a rare form of pneumonia. As the doctor started to talk about survival rates, I felt just like you described it. No pain, no thoughts, just going numb. As the therapy progressed, my life became a hell of hunger, fear and pain. I wasnt allowed to eat, drink, have contact with anybody, because of fear of infections.
    My chest hurt all over, then my head started to go crazy, even lifting my head would have made me vomit all over mysef, just that had emptied my stomach on the first days already. At some point I was to weak to even move, and every inch sent waves of pain throughout my body. I early lost my appetite and then, finally, I even got rid of the fear, it was just pain. It didn't even matter if I was moving or not, it just hurt so much. It was the only time in my life I seriously thought "I want to die, please god, just end that pain here and now." Without any doubt, regret or fear whatsoever.
    But at some point, I just thought, **** YOU LIFE, I suddenly got so angry, why was all that **** happening to me. And I also imagined the treatment as a fight of my white cells/medication against the evil cells. I survived, but for weaks to come I would just vomit everytime I took a "deep" breath or lift my head.
    It never really got like it has before, my espacially my lungs and the constant headaches. Needlessly to say that all the mental help stuff before had been shot down.
    So after getting "resocialized" the real **** began. I was weak, I was visibly suffering every day and some school mates started bullying me. For three years they would come to me, throw stones or other things, hit me on the back of my head or just generally emberass me.
    Right now I'm going through a phase where I do everything wrong, and I have to pay for **** I didnt want and dont have money; all that in a country which language I speak at pre-primary school level. I felt so down right now, but you text made me remember the pain from back the; and honestly, theres no comparison.

    On a side note. I am anxious and afraid everyday, about getting soemthing like this again, espacially lungs cancer, pneumonia or pancreatic cancer. It is because I feel theres no strenght left in me to fight with. Do you think, you could withstand it again? I fear I couldn't, but don't know for sure. But Im carrying this thoughts with me; every single day, and its hard, so hard, and most people won't understand. They may feel sympathy, but that's all.
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    That was amazing. I'm so glad you've recovered!
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    @Annoymous. While i hope i don't ever have to go through that again i know i would have the strength to get through it all. I think we all have hidden reserves that make sure we can get through all the bad stuff. In my head when i was ill i more or less decided that if it was my time i would be sure to give the cancer hell! You can't let the what ifs ruin your life. You have to live every day for today. Not worrying about what might be around the corner tomorrow.
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    Wow, just wow. You're very inspirational. Well done on your recovery!
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    (Original post by Wishing)
    Wow, just wow. You're very inspirational. Well done on your recovery!
    you negged me, shame on you.
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    Thanks for your kind words!
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    everyone, read this
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    I am glad you recovered. I was ****ting myself scared during the first part but the last part made me happy.

    I can say you have inspired certain people to get checked. :yep:
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    Lord preserve the NHS.
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    I've only read the first section, I'm going to read the second next but I just wanted to say-
    That actually brought tears to my eyes. I can't begin to express how much respect I have for you, you are an unbelievably strong guy, many people suffer so greatly with just one or 2 of those issues, but you dealt with so many, both mentally and physically (insomnia is enough to drive a person mad!) And not only did you deal with such extreme hardships but you dealt with the fear as well.

    If I were in your situation, I feel I would no way be able to handle it as admirably as you have. You have such mental strength.

    I've been feeling very down lately, and reading this has made me realize how much I should appreciate in life.

    You are an amazing person, and I wish you all the best in the future.

    xx
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've just read this and honestly cried for 10 minutes. It made me remember my treatment. I spent a lot of time at different hospitals as a youth, primarily because of broken bones. At the age of 8, a car slammed into me and sent me flying, breaking my tigh bone in two. But even worse, the "friend" accompanying me just ran home. As I got out of hospital into "real life" my parents realized I had become a nervous wreck, eventually I started psychological therapies.
    And then I supposedely catched a Bronchitis, eight weeks later it turned out to be actually a rare form of pneumonia. As the doctor started to talk about survival rates, I felt just like you described it. No pain, no thoughts, just going numb. As the therapy progressed, my life became a hell of hunger, fear and pain. I wasnt allowed to eat, drink, have contact with anybody, because of fear of infections.
    My chest hurt all over, then my head started to go crazy, even lifting my head would have made me vomit all over mysef, just that had emptied my stomach on the first days already. At some point I was to weak to even move, and every inch sent waves of pain throughout my body. I early lost my appetite and then, finally, I even got rid of the fear, it was just pain. It didn't even matter if I was moving or not, it just hurt so much. It was the only time in my life I seriously thought "I want to die, please god, just end that pain here and now." Without any doubt, regret or fear whatsoever.
    But at some point, I just thought, **** YOU LIFE, I suddenly got so angry, why was all that **** happening to me. And I also imagined the treatment as a fight of my white cells/medication against the evil cells. I survived, but for weaks to come I would just vomit everytime I took a "deep" breath or lift my head.
    It never really got like it has before, my espacially my lungs and the constant headaches. Needlessly to say that all the mental help stuff before had been shot down.
    So after getting "resocialized" the real **** began. I was weak, I was visibly suffering every day and some school mates started bullying me. For three years they would come to me, throw stones or other things, hit me on the back of my head or just generally emberass me.
    Right now I'm going through a phase where I do everything wrong, and I have to pay for **** I didnt want and dont have money; all that in a country which language I speak at pre-primary school level. I felt so down right now, but you text made me remember the pain from back the; and honestly, theres no comparison.

    On a side note. I am anxious and afraid everyday, about getting soemthing like this again, espacially lungs cancer, pneumonia or pancreatic cancer. It is because I feel theres no strenght left in me to fight with. Do you think, you could withstand it again? I fear I couldn't, but don't know for sure. But Im carrying this thoughts with me; every single day, and its hard, so hard, and most people won't understand. They may feel sympathy, but that's all.
    Well you sounded as if you were so strong to beat it back then that I don't doubt that you'd be even stronger if it were to happen again, which it most probably won't.

    You sound like a very strong, admirable person, but even though it seems like things are tough for you right now, I feel that you definitely have the ability to cope with them and come through it all a much stronger person.

    I wish you happiness in the future, don't let it take it toll on you. x
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    (Original post by Profesh)
    Lord preserve the NHS.
    Yeah, Sometimes some can be quick to knock the nhs but i know without them and the excellent care i recieved i would not be here today!
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    [If I were in your situation, I feel I would no way be able to handle it as admirably as you have. You have such mental strength.

    I've been feeling very down lately, and reading this has made me realize how much I should appreciate in life.

    You are an amazing person, and I wish you all the best in the future.

    xx[/QUOTE]

    I know if you had asked me before what happened i would have said i wouldnt have got through it. I think we all have an inner strength and we can get through anything that is thrown at us. Thank you for your kind words.
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    (Original post by wilco04)
    x
    Wow what an amazing read. A few people close to to my heart have been affected by cancer, thank you for putting it on here, brought a tear to my eye x
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    Thanks, I just hope it helps some people.
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    (Original post by wilco04)
    I hadn’t been feeling great for a few weeks, but had shrugged it of as being very tired and being run down, when I didn’t begin to feel any better I decided to go to the doctors, I went there and was sent to raigmore hospital in Inverness that same day. At that point I was slightly concerned I must admit, but remember thinking to myself that at least I was in the best place and they would get to the bottom of my problem and just give me some tablets and that would be it. I realised there were something more sinister when I had to go for an ultrasound on my testicle and abdomen, I remember feeling very embarrassed at having to undress in front of strangers, but at the same time thinking it was 100 times easier than doing it in front of people I knew!! I had to wait a few hours for the results, that was probably the longest few hours of my life, but at the same time I wanted to know what I was up against, (realising in my own mind that it wasn’t going to be something simple) I got called into my doctors room and he broke the news that I had feared more than anything else, I had cancer. I had testicular and abdominal cancer. Some people say that when bad news hits you it is like a punch in the stomach, not for me I just went numb, my doctor spent about the next ten minutes giving me information and nothing went in, the only thing that went in was I had a chance of survival. I just went back to my bed and howled in tears, I just wanted to curl up in a ball and hide, not see anyone or anything, but I couldn’t do that. The nurse that had been in the room with my doctor and me came and explained things to me, I was able to focus my mind and take in what was being said to me, I had the most curable form of the disease, but my cancer was very advanced. The fact I had a chance of being cured was a thought I had to cling onto, another one was Lance Armstrong, (who is a multi time winner of the tour de France), who had the same cancer as me, but his had spread to his brain, my thinking was if he could beat it and do all the amazing things he has done, then there has to be hope. Something that I hadn’t even thought about was how to tell my family. I spent around two hours just trying to find a way to break it to them, but the reality is you cannot break something like that to them in a nice way; there is no easy way to say, “I have cancer”. That night I couldn’t sleep at all, was given sleeping tablets but they didn’t work, (something that would become a common theme in the months to come). I told my family by phone, well I told them I had cancer, but I left it to my doctor to go into all the details on my illness, treatment ect. I felt emotionally exhausted at that point and drained, and the idea of telling anyone else was something I just could not do, so I got my family and friends who did know to tell others. A memory that I will always remember was my friend Jamie coming in to see me in raigmore, I was about to have my dinner and I really didn’t want to eat, but he was urging me to eat my food, but I just couldn’t, of course what he and I did not know at that point was that I had a 20 cm tumour in my abdomen and that was the reason I was eating very little. It was when he was up that we decided to go on a holiday when I got better, in my opinion it is very important to have things to work for, as you will see as I continue this that I set myself numerous goals, some I achieved others I did not, my advice here is to be realistic, do goals that are achievable, but at the same time do not be down heartened if you do not make it, focus on what you have achieved rather than what you have not, ALWAYS look on the positives, never waste energy on the negatives, and gain energy from the positive things you have done. It really does help you and your mind-set.

    The first time I really felt scared and properly showed it was when I went for a scan on the brain, to see if the cancer had spread there, I think it was just the idea in my head that if it had gotten that far, then there would be no way of stopping it. Which I know now was a bad idea as all cancers are different and different treatments have different effects. Time can be a funny thing, at times it can go far too fast or it can seem like an eternity to move a minute. It was at this point I had decided to myself to stop looking to the past, I could not change what had happened, all I could do now was try and prepare myself for the fight that was in front of me. Fortunately the brain scan came back negative, and now we were able to focus on how to beat the cancer that was inside me. My doctor said that chemotherapy would be my best course of treatment and I would defiantly need one operation, but most probably would need another after my chemo. I was fine with all this, the next suggestion was that I would either be at Glasgow or Edinburgh for my treatment, I said yes to that as well, anything that would give me the best chance of survival, I was going to go for. I ended up being placed at the Beatson Oncology Centre in Glasgow, I was told that it was one of the best hospitals in Britain for dealing with cancer, this gave me a lot of optimism, knowing that I had one of the best teams looking after me was a huge comfort. I went to Glasgow by ambulance and it took us around 4 hrs to get there, since the ambulance driver lost his way!! Anyone who knows me knows I am very competitive, I hate losing a computer game, so at this point, my mind-set was that this was the most important game of my life, this was a game for my life! I was not going to lay down and let the cancer win, I couldn’t do that and I wasn’t going to do that.

    At the Beatson, I,was given two choices for how my chemo cycle would work. One, have the normal 4 cycles of chemo over the normal time frame, or have the same 4 cycles of treatment in a shorter time, hence hitting the cancer harder and faster. I went for the quick option as my doctor agreed that it was the better option for me.

    However, before I started my chemo, there was the small matter of having a testicle removed, the operation itself worried me, but more so since it was my first ever operation, fortunately I had a great surgeon, who talked everything through with me, and that made me feel more at ease, but I still felt very apprehensive about the operation, the fear only really kicked in though as I was going to the theatre to have the op done, before that I can remember feeling strangely calm, (calm for the fact I was about to have an operation.) Thankfully the op went fine and although I needed help doing certain things for a few days after, the op was not as debilitating as I had expected and the recovery period was shorter than I had thought as well. Within a matter of days, my chemo was to begin. Before my chemo began, I was so anxious for it to start, I was constantly asking my doctors for it to begin, even though there were other things that had to be done first: Operation, kidney tests – to see if my kidneys were up to the task of flushing out the cancerous cells and the chemo, Also had lung tests to see what kind of shape they were in now, and also to assess after the chemo had finished if the chemo had any adverse affect on the lungs. My kidneys were up to the task, and my lungs were in ok shape. So after the operation, it was time to begin the chemo.

    ,
    Have you shared this story before? thought i recognised it

    I am so so sorry for what you have been through.

    You really are so brave.

    My Mum passed away from cancer in 2010 and i miss her every single day. I saw what cancer can do and it really is awful.

    You are just so brave. I dont feel my words are enough. *hugs*
 
 
 
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