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Feeling worthless and useless around girls watch

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    Ok, I know the title sounds a bit 'woe is me' but I can't think of any better way to describe how I feel about myself.

    I find myself unable to even consider 'making a move' or even starting a conversation with someone I'm attracted to, I just feel like i'd be wasting their time even though I know in my head they'd probably be ok with it.

    I'm starting to think I have some undiagnosed behavioural problem (I also find it really hard concentrating on one thing for long periods).

    Basically I'm 22 and never had a girlfriend and any advice that'd help me feel like less of a failure would help a lot. I don't consider myself 'bad' looking and everyone I know seems to assume I've had a normal love life and never asked me about it.

    Cheers!

    (Btw, If i sound like I'm being mopey i'm not. I actually have a generally positive attitude and I know there's no point in stressing as it's not going to help )
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    (Original post by Yawn11)
    Well first of all, have you got a basement or attic?

    Have you got a chain and padlock, or at least a tight rope?

    Have you got some chloroform or at least done rophynol?

    These are essential items.

    This, or weed and alcohol to aid your confidence.
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    I know how you feel, OP.
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    What I'd recommend is putting yourself out there as much as you can. Talk to as many girls as possible and if you like someone, always make a move sharpish. You're bound to get some success somewhere down the line.

    If you make a move on a girl and she's not interested, there don't tend to be consequences. The worst that generally happens is you get ignored or politely turned down. Even if the girl doesn't like you, she'll probably respect you to a certain extent just for having the balls to ask.
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    (Original post by Yawn11)
    This, or weed and alcohol to aid your confidence.
    Lol, I wish that was the answer. Even when I'm absolutely plastered I can't seem to get over myself and my fear. Deep down I don't feel that I could possibly be attractive to girls even though I don't consider myself ugly or boring or anything. I'm generally Ok when someone starts a convo with me but I feel i need to be more socially assertive to really get anywhere with the ladies.
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    (Original post by midlandsman)
    What I'd recommend is putting yourself out there as much as you can. Talk to as many girls as possible and if you like someone, always make a move sharpish. You're bound to get some success somewhere down the line.

    If you make a move on a girl and she's not interested, there don't tend to be consequences. The worst that generally happens is you get ignored or politely turned down. Even if the girl doesn't like you, she'll probably respect you to a certain extent just for having the balls to ask.
    I think it's the talking that scares me. If I knew for certain she's enjoying me talking to her I'd be fine its just that tiny risk at the start that freaks me out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think it's the talking that scares me. If I knew for certain she's enjoying me talking to her I'd be fine its just that tiny risk at the start that freaks me out.
    The thing is, there isn't really a risk. If you approach a girl and she doesn't like you, you've lost nothing. You're in exactly the same position as when you started.
    Of course it's easier said than done.

    Can you not meet girls through mutual friends?
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    when you go out to parties and stuff, drink some alcohol, it gives you a bit of confidence.
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    (Original post by midlandsman)
    The thing is, there isn't really a risk. If you approach a girl and she doesn't like you, you've lost nothing. You're in exactly the same position as when you started.
    Of course it's easier said than done.

    Can you not meet girls through mutual friends?
    I'm okay to meet girls - being a drama student they outnumber the guys lol.

    In my head I know there's no risk but I'm such a perfectionist that knowing i've ****ed up even a little bit really gets to me. What's weird is that I have asked a girl out and been turned down without it affecting me so the fact that I can't bring myself to do it again baffles me.

    But yeah, you're right. I have to keep telling myself there's no risk. I know I can change my attitude eventually
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm okay to meet girls - being a drama student they outnumber the guys lol.

    In my head I know there's no risk but I'm such a perfectionist that knowing i've ****ed up even a little bit really gets to me. What's weird is that I have asked a girl out and been turned down without it affecting me so the fact that I can't bring myself to do it again baffles me.

    But yeah, you're right. I have to keep telling myself there's no risk. I know I can change my attitude eventually
    It's all very well telling yourself there's no risk, but you'll still hold yourself back until you've discovered it from experience. It might seem hard, but throw yourself into the mix as soon as possible (i.e. tomorrow).

    Part of the trick is not caring too much about any one girl/interaction and getting your fingers in lots of differnent pies. (Unless of course you're actually in a relationship). That way you'll both come across better, have a higher chance of success and not bother about ****ing up.
 
 
 
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