Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Are there any real gentlemen out there? watch

    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Erm, I didn't say all men are ****. I said I FEEL that way because of the awful experience I have been through, it's how I feel, I am scared that there is no one decent out there and I struggle to trust people. I said in the post that I know it's not true. I can't help how I feel. I used to be a dreamer in love when I was younger and imagine how it would feel to meet my perfect guy but after seeing the way my dad is and then meeting someone verbally abusive who has made me feel worthless I have lost that optimism I had. Which I'm really sad about.
    And hence my answer.

    Take your life back. No-one here can do that for you, with all the good will in the world we can't.

    Dump the guy and move one. If he's as bad as you claim, I garantee you won't regret it.

    No man is perfect, get that into your head. A relationship involves highs and lows. If you accept someones virtues, you must also be able to accept his vices. Remember that.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't. It's because having being with a cruel guy like him has knocked my confidence and made me feel worthless. So I feel like I can't find anyone. That's why I am staying with him NOT because I like him. I cry most nights at what he has done to me and how he has changed my personality from being a strong, confident girl to a weak, insecure wreck. He has made me feel so low that I have started to believe the things he says. True, there are girls out there that like bad guys. For me, I dated someone who I thought was that romantic, caring, innocent guy I had always dreamed of meeting but sadly turned out to be a nasty piece of ****. And now I am too lonely and scared to leave. So don't jump to conclusions.
    My advice would be to just get out while you can, it won't get any easier if you wait and you'll just end up regretting those extra years you spent with him. Seriously, if he is like that, do not stay with him. My mum spent 15 years married to a man like this and she always says she wishes she'd got out sooner.
    It will be hard to leave and it will feel lonely at first, but the "strong, confident girl" will come back once you get used to being without him and start to meet other people.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Yes. But unfortunately, most women are not interested in gentlemen.
    Offline

    0
    Nope, we all just wanna get in your pants, sorry.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Alpharius)
    And hence my answer.

    Take your life back. No-one here can do that for you, with all the good will in the world we can't.

    Dump the guy and move one. If he's as bad as you claim, I garantee you won't regret it.

    No man is perfect, get that into your head. A relationship involves highs and lows. If you accept someones virtues, you must also be able to accept his vices. Remember that.
    Yeah, I've been trying to leave him but I just somehow don't have the guts. Hopefully I will find that strength. And I know ultimately I will be happier without him, I just have got so used to having him around I am scared I will miss all the little things (the very few positive things) that he has about him and feel lonely and empty without him. Ah well, only time will tell. And I wasn't ever looking for a perfect man and a drama free relationship. I just didn't have a verbally abusive, nasty, manipulative, controlling woman hating prick in mind either.
    Offline

    14
    I consider myself to be one, yes.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, I've been trying to leave him but I just somehow don't have the guts. Hopefully I will find that strength. And I know ultimately I will be happier without him, I just have got so used to having him around I am scared I will miss all the little things (the very few positive things) that he has about him and feel lonely and empty without him. Ah well, only time will tell. And I wasn't ever looking for a perfect man and a drama free relationship. I just didn't have a verbally abusive, nasty, manipulative, controlling woman hating prick in mind either.
    If you know you'll be better off without him, isn't that incentive enough to do it?

    Log off. Log back on here tomorrow to tell us that you've dumped him.

    If not, don't waste peoples time going around in circles when you know what you need to do. We cannot give you the confidence to do it.

    Thats down to you.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Of course there are, you've just got to look for them (: We're the ones sat bitterly jealous wondering why the girl we're in love with picked that jackass over us.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Alpharius)
    If you know you'll be better off without him, isn't that incentive enough to do it?

    Log off. Log back on here tomorrow to tell us that you've dumped him.

    If not, don't waste peoples time going around in circles when you know what you need to do. We cannot give you the confidence to do it.

    Thats down to you.
    It's not that simple, we live in the same flat, he sees me everyday, we talk every hour. I can't just drop him like that. Basically he's in my face 24/7 and I can't escape him. Although he treats me like dirt he won't let me go. He gets angry if I mention other guys. He starts putting me down when I get dressed up. He gets angry at the slightest thing. He's basically a psycho. I'm scared of what he'll do if I move on. Sometimes I just want to move to a different city, change my number and never contact him again.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have no faith in men. I have no faith in love anymore. Combination of my dad being a cheating, lying prick and my boyfriend being a verbally abusive, disrespectful prick. How do people go on to restore their faith in men/woman after a horrible experience? I feel like men are all cut from the same cloth even though in my heart I know this can't be true. I like to think there are some decent men out there, but I have no idea where they're hiding!
    You know i feel the same way about women. I sometimes feel as if a woman cannot possibly love a man and nothing else apart from herself and she's only with him for money and nothing else.
    If you figure out a way to deal with this then please let me know. Thank you and Goodnight.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's not that simple, we live in the same flat, he sees me everyday, we talk every hour. I can't just drop him like that. Basically he's in my face 24/7 and I can't escape him. Although he treats me like dirt he won't let me go. He gets angry if I mention other guys. He starts putting me down when I get dressed up. He gets angry at the slightest thing. He's basically a psycho. I'm scared of what he'll do if I move on. Sometimes I just want to move to a different city, change my number and never contact him again.
    Are you telling me that you have no friends/relatives that'll take you in?

    Unless thats the case, move out. It's not rocket science.

    Your life will be better in the long run. All I'm seeing is excuse after excuse. I know that sounds harsh, but I don't do sugarcoating.

    Go stay with a friend, leave him, and get on with your life. What else do you really want us to say? There is nothing anyone here can do to help you.

    It's time to take some responsibility and control of your life.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Alpharius)
    Are you telling me that you have no friends/relatives that'll take you in?

    Unless thats the case, move out. It's not rocket science.

    Your life will be better in the long run. All I'm seeing is excuse after excuse. I know that sounds harsh, but I don't do sugarcoating.

    Go stay with a friend, leave him, and get on with your life. What else do you really want us to say? There is nothing anyone here can do to help you.

    It's time to take some responsibility and control of your life.
    I know my life will be better in the long run. Yes, that's what everyone has told me, that I am making excuses. It's probably true but it's because I am afraid to leave. Thanks anyway, that was useful.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know my life will be better in the long run. Yes, that's what everyone has told me, that I am making excuses. It's probably true but it's because I am afraid to leave. Thanks anyway, that was useful.
    If I have been able to help you, I'm glad.

    Don't mention it.

    And to re-iterate; There are some nice guys out there. Most girls just can't be bothered to scratch the surface.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I find there are just about as many gentlemen in the world as there are true ladies..
    Gentlemen are diminishing because ladies are ceasing to maintain themselves in order to impress men, and its a positive feedback kinda mechanism, so a decay in our formerly upright society occurs.
    As our sexually mutualistic and completely non-sexist friend Al Murray said
    "Why am I to lay my coat over a puddle for a woman to step over, when the woman is already face-down in the puddle reeking of piss, booze and vomit" :P
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Course there are, my boyfriend is one
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You sound just like me. My dad is currently cheating on my mum which broke my heart (she doesn't know) and my boyfriend treats me like I'm a bit of dirt on his shoe. I have lost so much confidence in myself and men I see no way out of this. I feel your pain..
    How the hell is it all mens fault that you're too weak minded to leave an abusive prick because you're scared of being lonely and find him attractive.

    Just cause the pricks are the most assertive and forward ones doesn't mean you have to say 'yes' to them.

    Think about it, you want a gentleman. Does your definition of a gentleman go round hitting on random girls trying to force tie issue. No he doesn't so chances are the gentlemen AREN'T the ones doing that to you. Not rocket science.

    By your logic all women are manipulative *****es because of the girl down the hall who only talked to me because she wanted to borrow my lecture notes and never says anything unless she wants to know something off me.

    Ditch this loser. If you don't you have no right to start accusing men of being things when You are CHOOSING to stay with him voluntarily and its your own fault.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by insoms)
    How the hell is it all mens fault that you're too weak minded to leave an abusive prick because you're scared of being lonely and find him attractive.

    Just cause the pricks are the most assertive and forward ones doesn't mean you have to say 'yes' to them.

    Think about it, you want a gentleman. Does your definition of a gentleman go round hitting on random girls trying to force tie issue. No he doesn't so chances are the gentlemen AREN'T the ones doing that to you. Not rocket science.

    By your logic all women are manipulative *****es because of the girl down the hall who only talked to me because she wanted to borrow my lecture notes and never says anything unless she wants to know something off me.

    Ditch this loser. If you don't you have no right to start accusing men of being things when You are CHOOSING to stay with him voluntarily and its your own fault.
    Erm, I didn't say it was all men's fault. I said I am struggling to trust men because of what I have been through and am struggling to believe that there is someone decent out there. I have not accused men at any point in this thread, I have said my experiences have led me to feel worthless and scared of men which is something I can't help. There's a difference.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Martik)
    I find there are just about as many gentlemen in the world as there are true ladies..
    Gentlemen are diminishing because ladies are ceasing to maintain themselves in order to impress men, and its a positive feedback kinda mechanism, so a decay in our formerly upright society occurs.
    As our sexually mutualistic and completely non-sexist friend Al Murray said
    "Why am I to lay my coat over a puddle for a woman to step over, when the woman is already face-down in the puddle reeking of piss, booze and vomit" :P
    That could be something to do with the fact that you live in Scarborough.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Alpharius)
    No better reason to leave.

    Please shut up with all the; "Oh, all men are *****," we're not, you just cannot be bothered to open up your eyes and not just notice the one guy with the arrogance of Charlie Sheen in the room.

    And we will jump to conclusions, you know the way to make it all better, but your "too frightened" to do it.

    Grow up, and take back your own life.
    Basically this.

    There's plenty of nice guys or gentlemen type guys around, you just need to keep an eye out or pay more attention.
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    Uh Huh. It is just that the preux chevalier of today needn't wear floppy haircuts nor stare wistfully into the middle distance in recollection of some past sorrow.

    This often leads women to think that the cheerful, funny and confident man who would always help a friend and deals with women in an honest, upfront and fair manner is somewhat lacking in eligibility for the status of a parfait knight.

    There is also a certain class of man under the impression that his diffidence and social awkwardness, especially with the fairer sex must imply that he is a gentleman of the highest order. They often then get bitter, as if their refraining from to give an example, shouting lude vulgarities at passing belle femmes in night venues is the sole aspect of the behavioural style of the true gent.

    In essence, the gentleman are out there but perhaps your girlish notions of what a gentleman is need updating or revising.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 20, 2011
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.