Turn on thread page Beta

Overdue virgins: what do your parents think of your condition? watch

    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    LOOOOL @ overdue

    I'm a virgin and WHAT?
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Brevity)
    This is nothing to do with the thread, or even the argument you're having, but that is an incredibly inaccurate reading of Freud—he's probably turning in his grave as we speak.
    Yeah because Freud never spoke about sex did he :rolleyes:?

    Freud generally saw sex as the motivation for most things. That was the point, so, to quote Eli Porter "step down off the pedestal".
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by HighestKungFu)
    Yeah because Freud never spoke about sex did he :rolleyes:?

    Freud generally saw sex as the motivation for most things. That was the point, so, to quote Eli Porter "step down off the pedestal".
    No, no, no. You see, you wrote that Freud thought that sex was the motivation for all things. I don't believe that Freud EVER (literally, EVER) said anything approximating that.

    Freud thought that sex was an important component of development, or that sex was the unconscious motivation (motivation in this case is closer in meaning to "cause") for things like slips of the tongue, repression, amnesia, neurosis, etc. But he did NOT think that sex was a motivation in terms of what, I think, you meant motivation (i.e. working out, getting a nice haircut, being really a good at martial arts and putting it in your sig., say).

    Shouldn't make comments about Freud when you've not actually READ any, you know?
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    My parents don't know much about my sex life, but I remember on New Years Eve my stepdad revealed he'd only had 2 sexual partners in his life. Felt strange, knowing I'd had more sex than my 4o-odd year old step dad.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Brevity)
    No, no, no. You see, you wrote that Freud thought that sex was the motivation for all things. I don't believe that Freud EVER (literally, EVER) said anything approximating that.

    Freud thought that sex was an important component of development, or that sex was the unconscious motivation (motivation in this case is closer in meaning to "cause") for things like slips of the tongue, repression, amnesia, neurosis, etc. But he did NOT think that sex was a motivation in terms of what, I think, you meant motivation (i.e. working out, getting a nice haircut, being really a good at martial arts and putting it in your sig., say).

    Shouldn't make comments about Freud when you've not actually READ any, you know?
    Where did I sat that Freud thought sex was the motivation for all things? I used the term 'Freudian' loosely, and made no such absolute statement. Also, cause and motivation are closely linked as causes tend to motivate action.

    I've actually read some Freud. And you're putting words in my mouth. Also, that comment about martial arts was weak and unnecessary. Your scathing attacks on me are completely unprovoked as well, and I don't intend to bite the bullet. What's the beef?

    Still, I suppose one has to watch out for the Freud police on TSR. Sorry that you feel so passionately about the man. I'm sure he wouldn't turn in his grave about it though, and I never claimed to be an expert on the man.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    I dunno, I lost it before my dad did.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by HighestKungFu)
    Where did I sat that Freud thought sex was the motivation for all things? I used the term 'Freudian' loosely, and made no such absolute statement. Also, cause and motivation are closely linked as causes tend to motivate action.

    I've actually read some Freud. And you're putting words in my mouth. Also, that comment about martial arts was weak and unnecessary. Your scathing attacks on me are completely unprovoked as well, and I don't intend to bite the bullet. What's the beef?

    Still, I suppose one has to watch out for the Freud police on TSR. Sorry that you feel so passionately about the man. I'm sure he wouldn't turn in his grave about it though, and I never claimed to be an expert on the man.
    You're right to take the moral highroad—it exposes me as weak and unnecessary. I just thought thought you were using the term 'Freudian' a bit too loosely.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Up until a month ago I had never kissed/been out with a boy. I've always had many guy friends but been to controlled to let anything happen. My parents are aware of this, and thus trust me. They don't know about my current boyfriend. I don't plan on having sex til I'm married but my parents wouldn't be happy if they found out I was even dating. But I managed to prove my control over myself by remaining completely abstinent til my current age of 18, and so they don't suspect a thing.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by innerhollow)
    Not all. I guess you could say that long-term virgins fall into three broad groups.

    - Chosen celibacy, either to focus on other things such as work/study/family, which involves resisting and suppressing sexual desires.
    I am only referring to those, obviously those who want to but can't, there's a logical reason.

    To me, it seems ludicrous to choose a life of celibacy just so you can focus on work/study/family. Having sex once every so often, isn't going to take up so much of your time that you don't have time to work or study :lol: but that's what you're suggesting. :confused:

    It's like saying, oh to get more work and studying done, I'm going to give up chocolate. Then obviously I'll have more time to study if I'm not eating chocolate. :rolleyes:

    Resisting and suppressing sexual desires is unhealthy and harmful, if anything that is going to affect work and studying more.

    Ask anyone who's sexually frustrated if they can concentrate on studying. Then ask them after they've had sex.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    I don't call it a condition. I don't know if they even know, I think they are good enough parents to not try talking about it to me and embarrassing me.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Stefan1991)

    How do you know that you don't like sex if you've never had it?
    Maybe they just don't fancy it?
    Thats like saying, "Have you had sex with a little child? No? Well you could still be a peadophile, you just don't know it yet."
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Charlottielottie)
    Maybe they just don't fancy it?
    Thats like saying, "Have you had sex with a little child? No? Well you could still be a peadophile, you just don't know it yet."
    You don't need to have sex in order to know that you have a sexual attraction to someone or some thing.

    Most of those who force themselves not to have sex are resisting urges and repressing their sexuality with the idea that they are somehow doing themselves good.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Stefan1991)
    You don't need to have sex in order to know that you have a sexual attraction to someone or some thing.

    Most of those who force themselves not to have sex are resisting urges and repressing their sexuality with the idea that they are somehow doing themselves good.
    Sometimes you need to resist those urges to keep the police, and possibly divorce courts, out of the way.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Stefan1991)

    To me, it seems ludicrous to choose a life of celibacy just so you can focus on work/study/family. Having sex once every so often, isn't going to take up so much of your time that you don't have time to work or study :lol: but that's what you're suggesting. :confused:

    It's like saying, oh to get more work and studying done, I'm going to give up chocolate. Then obviously I'll have more time to study if I'm not eating chocolate. :rolleyes:.
    not at all. sex isnt as simple as going out and buying chocolate. most of those people above would want it in the context of a relationship only, and think the relationship and relationship maintenece would take up too mcuh time. your partner beceomes your priority and everythign else fita around them. in teh Bible it says the single persons priority is God and Gods works but the married persons priority is family.
    Resisting and suppressing sexual desires is unhealthy and harmful, if anything that is going to affect work and studying more.
    do you have anything to back this up? i am celibate and fine, and 25 yrs old, so are many of my myuslim friends. surely you could ask the girl who has been pumped and dumped by a playah if it affects her study and concentration. or the girl who has an abortion or STD if it is harmful physically or emotionally. this doresnt apply in all cases but it is a risk you take.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by shinytoy)
    not at all. sex isnt as simple as going out and buying chocolate. most of those people above would want it in the context of a relationship only, and think the relationship and relationship maintenece would take up too mcuh time. your partner beceomes your priority and everythign else fita around them.
    Then it has nothing to do with sex, the person just doesn't have time for a relationship. But that's not even true, a lot of people who choose celibacy still seem to have time for "relationships", so that theory goes out the window, again.

    (Original post by shinytoy)
    in teh Bible it says the single persons priority is God and Gods works but the married persons priority is family.
    Why are you quoting the Bible? Is that somehow supposed to give credibility to your answer?

    (Original post by shinytoy)
    do you have anything to back this up? i am celibate and fine, and 25 yrs old, so are many of my myuslim friends. surely you could ask the girl who has been pumped and dumped by a playah if it affects her study and concentration. or the girl who has an abortion or STD if it is harmful physically or emotionally. this doresnt apply in all cases but it is a risk you take.
    You are not celibate because it "might affect work and study", you are celibate because your religion tells you to be, until marriage anyway. That, at least, is a semi-logical reason.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    I propose a social networking site for all these lonely virgins. Then maybe instead of whining about their status on other sites, they could all gather together and have orgies. "Ugly face book".
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    btw, this is an egregious oversimplification

    (Original post by HighestKungFu)
    But you are still missing out on a big aspect of life (arguably from a Darwinian/Freudian perspective the only real objective of life - procreation).
    That may be true, but you're mistaken to think that having children is the only sort of "procreation" we are capable of. It's one means of many.

    Hint:

    (Original post by G.C. Lichtenberg)
    One is rarely an impulsive innovator after the age of sixty, but one can still be a very fine orderly and inventive thinker. One rarely procreates children at that age, but one is all the more skilled at educating those who have already been procreated, and education is procreation of another kind.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    >Re: Overdue virgins: what do your parents think of your condition?
    >condition

    Hahahahaha... HAHAHAHAHA! oh you guys, you can always make me smile. another social anxiety disorder? aspergers mark two? I think i'll christen this bull**** psychological problem:

    auto-sexual dissociation disorder

    look out for it in the DSM-6 guys!
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    hmm my parents are happy to keep it this way. I'm only 16 tbf. Whenever I sleep round someone's house my mum is pretty much "STAY AWAY FROM THE BOYS and close your legs hun."
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Stefan1991)
    I am only referring to those, obviously those who want to but can't, there's a logical reason.
    Okay thanks for clarifying.

    To me, it seems ludicrous to choose a life of celibacy just so you can focus on work/study/family. Having sex once every so often, isn't going to take up so much of your time that you don't have time to work or study :lol: but that's what you're suggesting. :confused:

    It's like saying, oh to get more work and studying done, I'm going to give up chocolate. Then obviously I'll have more time to study if I'm not eating chocolate. :rolleyes:
    But it's not that simple... sex is NOT like going out and buying a few chocolates. Many people only want to have sex when in a relationship (anonymous, one-night stand type sex doesn't appeal to everyone), and relationships are highly time-consuming to pursue and maintain.

    Besides, you can still masturbate, which consumes very little time overall.

    Resisting and suppressing sexual desires is unhealthy and harmful, if anything that is going to affect work and studying more.

    Ask anyone who's sexually frustrated if they can concentrate on studying. Then ask them after they've had sex.
    Do you have any genuine proof that it's harmful? Have you ever tried abstaining from sex?

    Sexual desire isn't like water building up in a hosepipe- if you don't have sex for a period of time, you'll usually find that your libido falls below typical levels. Similar to how if you stop eating fatty/sugary foods for a period of time you lose your appetite for such temptations.

    Most importantly, if people find that voluntary celibacy is negatively affecting their life, then they are welcome to reverse their decision. At the end of the day- why would people deliberately avoid an activity that is so "pleasurable and sociable" as you put it, if there was no real benefit?
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 26, 2011
Poll
Which accompaniment is best?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.