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My girlfriend is asking questions I really don't want to answer. watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    .
    Wow, thats an absolutely amazing comeback, you've been through hell and back!
    I'd also really like to hear about that "cheesy" inspiration that's not included above.
    How long have you two been together?
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    Tell her if she dares to ask one more time you will layeth the smackdown on her candy ass....and that shag it.
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    wow, to think you went through all that yourself really puts things into perspective, you've inspired me!!

    on the other hand, us TSR members don't think anything bad, so why would your girlfriend?....tell her
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 0906079)
    Also, I'd love to read the story that you didn't want to post, if you don't mind pming me it?
    (Original post by Oranges)
    =Oh and lastly, could you also PM me the cheesy inspirational part?
    (Original post by Le Récamier)
    I'd also like the pm that everyone's asking for.
    (Original post by Chimaira)
    I'd also love to hear the *cheesy and inspirational bit* if that's alright?
    (Original post by humble_bumble)
    Can you PM me the touching story? If you don't mind, that is
    (Original post by thru sun and rain)
    Like others I would also like to hear the touching story, however if you do not wish to tell then you don't have to.
    (Original post by mya369)
    I'll admit that I am also curious about the cheesy inspirational part now.. could you pm it to me too please?
    (Original post by S_123)
    I would also like to know the cheesy inspirational bit if you don't mind telling me...:o:
    (Original post by manutd17)
    ps - could you possibly pm the cheesy and inspirational bit if it's alright?
    (Original post by sr90)
    I feel slightly guilty for asking this but is there any chance you could PM it to me?
    (Original post by rishmiester)
    I'd love to hear about that "cheesy" inspiration that's not included above, can you PM it to me please?
    Lmao.

    Okay. I'll just go ahead and post it up here. It was never meant to be a secret, just like... I dunno. Felt weird to type it up I guess.

    -

    When I got to the hospital I met someone. We became really close, and I ended up hanging out with her for pretty much my entire stay. We made each other a promise that we'd both support the other, and become awesome.

    One month after I was released, she hung herself. I had been visiting every day but I didn't see the signs, it was pretty bad. Nearly destroyed me in fact, but I'd made her a promise. I guess I wanted to get better for both of us. So she'd be proud of me? I dunno. I still wear her ring around my neck everywhere I go.

    This is why I got my results so quickly. Every time I think like something is too difficult, or a waste of time, I look at the ring, think about her, and what she'd think of me if I just quit. Then I snap out of the pity party and go do whatever I was too much of a wuss to do before that moment.

    Meh.
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    :cry2:

    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    Be honest without being specific. You can tell her that you purposely moved away from your parents, you don't have to say why, you can tell her that you didn't have any friends in school, without saying how that happened. She'll appreciate honesty, without pushing for details if you make it clear that you're not interested in sharing them. I think it's important that you don't lie.

    Hope everything works out for you, you deserve it.
    This.

    Also, OP if you ever want to tell her, you could show her what you've written here if it's too hard to say out loud.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Lmao.

    Okay. I'll just go ahead and post it up here. It was never meant to be a secret, just like... I dunno. Felt weird to type it up I guess.

    -

    When I got to the hospital I met someone. We became really close, and I ended up hanging out with her for pretty much my entire stay. We made each other a promise that we'd both support the other, and become awesome.

    One month after I was released, she hung herself. I had been visiting every day but I didn't see the signs, it was pretty bad. Nearly destroyed me in fact, but I'd made her a promise. I guess I wanted to get better for both of us. So she'd be proud of me? I dunno. I still wear her ring around my neck everywhere I go.

    This is why I got my results so quickly. Every time I think like something is too difficult, or a waste of time, I look at the ring, think about her, and what she'd think of me if I just quit. Then I snap out of the pity party and go do whatever I was too much of a wuss to do before that moment.

    Meh.
    Gosh. Wow. Well wherever she is, i am sure she is proud of you In-fact i am too. Not many people can do what you have done. Well done :hugs:
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    that post almost brought me to tears 0_o

    firstly, congratulations on getting past it all!

    secondly, it would be better to tell her, or show her this exact post, than keep on avoiding it, or making up a story, i promise you!

    my bf refuses to tell me certain things, and it just makes me wish more that he would! i only want to know because i care and want to know about him as a person

    if she cares then it shouldn't change the way she feels about you, and she'll likely be impressed by your attitude and willingness to change!

    good luck x
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    woooah that was moving
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    (Original post by noobynoo)
    Don't listen to these dumbass girls about telling her everything. girls only saying that because they are naturally nosey and want to know everything. From a man's perspective, don't let your past interfere with your future. This stuff is none of your girlfriends business. So you going to tell every girlfriend all this stuff? that's rubbish. put your past behind you.
    this, just lie to her it will make things easier both in the short term and the long term, girls make it their mission to mine every bit of info out of a guy they can, **** knows why they do this
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    firstly, you are truly inspiring and deserve every happiness in the future.

    as for your question.. i think it depends how close you two are. how long have you been together? are you quite serious? this is a massive part of your life to share with someone so make sure you're ready to tell her and you fully trust her.

    if you don't want to go into detail maybe just say that your past is very difficult for you to talk about.. and that you're not in contact with your parents anymore.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'd really appreciate it if this was kept anon. Can't have this become public knowledge.

    Long story short, my childhood was appaling. I was raped by a teacher through primary school, got horrendously bullied through middle and high schools, and had no friends throughout any of these, as I withdrew into myself so far I just creeped everyone out. Developed severe depression, attempted suicide a couple of times around year 10, which was met with scorn and punishment by my emotionally barren parents. The second time I tried, I was in hospital for three days, and noone visited me once, even though my parents house was less than a mile away. I then had to walk home.

    Needless to say it probably wasn't surprising when my brain imploded in the first year of college, and I ended up in mental hospital.
    While I was there I was inspired. I won't say how, because the story is very cheesy, but needless to say it made me really want to improve myself.

    By the time I got out of hospital I was working out, talking to people (as well as someone with terrible social skills can), and just doing what I could to make things better. Through sheer luck I found a place at uni through clearing, and for the first time in my life I was looking forward to the future.

    In an argument with my parents about how I could let myself get to the point where I was admitted to mental hospital, I decided to tell them everything, from the rape, to the beatings, to the having nobody in my life who cared enough to give me the emotional support I really could have done with. Their response? "That's no excuse for being pathetic". Soon after that gem I moved 200 miles away, with the intention of drawing a line under everything, disowning my parents, never returning to that city and basically starting my life anew.

    I'd read on the internet that social skills were like a muscle, and could be improved with practice. I took this entirely literally, and started going out to clubs every night and talking to randomers; experiencing rejection after rejection, but ultimately learning pretty quick what's cool to say and what's not. After a few months I could actually enjoy myself in a conversation. A few months after *that* and I was actually being described as charming. This combined with the fact that I'd been working out constantly for the previous 8 or 9 months, and girls were starting to notice me.

    I'd gotten myself a pretty solid circle of friends by this point, and started getting really close to this one girl. She is honestly amazing, and I really like her . We're now in an awesome relationship, but there is one problem: my past.

    I made a facebook at the start of the year, and added all my uni friends for whatever reason anyone would ever make a facebook. When me and my girlfriend got together however, she asked me if she could be added to my 'real' facebook.

    "My real facebook?"

    "Your profile was created at the start of the year, and I personally know every single person you have added to it. I mean you must have an older profile with your school friends, and family and stuff."

    "Actually I don't."

    "Then why haven't you added your old friends to your new profile? You're a sociable guy, I find it hard to believe you fell out with every single one of them. And noone gets through school without making friends."

    Legit questions, which I have no idea how to answer. She also wants to know why I stayed at uni over Christmas, and when she can meet my parents. The more I dodge the questions, the more determined she gets about finding out the answers. To begin with I played it off as a joke about how it made me more mysterious, but then when she became visibly annoyed at yet another deflection, I dunno. I have no idea what to do.

    I REALLY don't want to tell her. I mean what would I say? "This time last year I was being force fed anti-psychotics in a mental hospital, with no friends, and noone in the entire world who cared about me"? I don't want her to feel sorry for me. The only other option is make up some elaborate lie, but like, I'm obviously not going to do that because I'm not a ****.

    What do I do TSR? I really don't want to lose her, but I also don't want her to know what I've just told you guys.
    I just want to give you a hug now, really well done for not letting the vicious cycle ruining your life. Now the tricky part, honestly dont tell her if your're not ready, only tell her when you feel comfortable and when you do start telling her maybe a little bit at a time, she sounds lovely and she seems very important to you, I'm sure she'll be understanding, and with the facebook thing...well just say the load of people from my old school were a load of tossers and ain't worth my time. or just delete facebook.

    rather than lie to her, delay talking about it, like reassure her that you tell her at some point at the future but not at the moment due to not being ready or something like that.

    sorry if my answer is not waht you're looking for but once you have built alot of trust with your girlfriend i think it will, when the time comes, become easier when you tell her.

    to be honest if i was your girlfriend and you told me that, i would not feel sorry for you, i would just think you are a amazing person to be able to cope with something like that on your own, and feel privileged to be able to know that side
    of history and be very proud that you have not let it take over your life.

    I hope it goes well
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Lmao.

    Okay. I'll just go ahead and post it up here. It was never meant to be a secret, just like... I dunno. Felt weird to type it up I guess.

    -

    When I got to the hospital I met someone. We became really close, and I ended up hanging out with her for pretty much my entire stay. We made each other a promise that we'd both support the other, and become awesome.

    One month after I was released, she hung herself. I had been visiting every day but I didn't see the signs, it was pretty bad. Nearly destroyed me in fact, but I'd made her a promise. I guess I wanted to get better for both of us. So she'd be proud of me? I dunno. I still wear her ring around my neck everywhere I go.

    This is why I got my results so quickly. Every time I think like something is too difficult, or a waste of time, I look at the ring, think about her, and what she'd think of me if I just quit. Then I snap out of the pity party and go do whatever I was too much of a wuss to do before that moment.

    Meh.
    :cry2: It's like out of a film or something :console:

    Edit: Mods, my nomination for most moving thread of the year is here.
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    i propa rate u gettin back on ur feet after that past!!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Lmao.

    Okay. I'll just go ahead and post it up here. It was never meant to be a secret, just like... I dunno. Felt weird to type it up I guess.

    -

    When I got to the hospital I met someone. We became really close, and I ended up hanging out with her for pretty much my entire stay. We made each other a promise that we'd both support the other, and become awesome.

    One month after I was released, she hung herself. I had been visiting every day but I didn't see the signs, it was pretty bad. Nearly destroyed me in fact, but I'd made her a promise. I guess I wanted to get better for both of us. So she'd be proud of me? I dunno. I still wear her ring around my neck everywhere I go.

    This is why I got my results so quickly. Every time I think like something is too difficult, or a waste of time, I look at the ring, think about her, and what she'd think of me if I just quit. Then I snap out of the pity party and go do whatever I was too much of a wuss to do before that moment.

    Meh.
    Oh my gosh this just made me tear up. I'm so incredibly proud of you.
    Let us all know what you decide to do about your girlfriend. I think you should just say that it's too difficult to speak about right now but you're not on great terms with your parents and you didn't see any point adding people from back home because you weren't particularly close. Maybe when you two are closer and you feel ready you can tell her.
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    Funny, if you hadn't posted this as anonymous, you'd probably have a million fans on here now. XD

    EDIT: PS: Thank you for posting the entire story. It was extremely moving.
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    Tell her you don't wish to talk about it. I'm sure she'll understand
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Le Récamier)
    Funny, if you hadn't posted this as anonymous, you'd probably have a million fans on here now. XD
    Including two people I know in real life, which is weird. :eek:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Lmao.

    Okay. I'll just go ahead and post it up here. It was never meant to be a secret, just like... I dunno. Felt weird to type it up I guess.

    -

    When I got to the hospital I met someone. We became really close, and I ended up hanging out with her for pretty much my entire stay. We made each other a promise that we'd both support the other, and become awesome.

    One month after I was released, she hung herself. I had been visiting every day but I didn't see the signs, it was pretty bad. Nearly destroyed me in fact, but I'd made her a promise. I guess I wanted to get better for both of us. So she'd be proud of me? I dunno. I still wear her ring around my neck everywhere I go.

    This is why I got my results so quickly. Every time I think like something is too difficult, or a waste of time, I look at the ring, think about her, and what she'd think of me if I just quit. Then I snap out of the pity party and go do whatever I was too much of a wuss to do before that moment.

    Meh.
    Where ever she is I am absolutely sure she is very proud of you for keeping strong.
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    tell her the truth, if she's as great as you say she is, she'll understand x
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    after reading that I just want to give you a big hug and say well done for being soso brave and turning your life around!! what you've been through is horrid!
    as for your girlfriend though you can't keep this from her forever. this is obviously a really sensitive subject and I can completely understand you wanting to keep it to yourself so you could say something like "well in all honesty I don't get along at all with my parents etcetc". that way you haven't lied to her about anything and it leaves you the option to tell her the full story when you're ready. good luck!x
 
 
 
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